WOAH WEDNESDAY

LI-LI-LILI-LIKE WOAH...

G'd mornin', happy hump! So we are getting this new website in the next week or two. It's going to be MUCH slicker than the current site...and with the new site, comes the need to create a new page for myself. That means writing a bio. Ya know, telling you about myself. I HATE those, I never have any idea what to put in them! The one on our current Q website was removed by me a few months ago because it'd been the same for 3 years and I realized how ridiculous it sounded.
I feel like maybe posing the question "what do you want to know?", probably via facebook, and then use that to write the bio once the site goes live. Seems like a decent idea? I'll think about it. Meantime, here's your Wednesday shtuff...








LI-LO OUT OF REHAB...
Judge Elden Fox was supposed to issue some kind of ruling today regarding the LINDSAY LOHAN case. He didn't. Instead, he just sprung her from rehab.

On Day 23 of what was supposed to be a 90-day stay, Lindsay checked out of UCLA Medical Center yesterday. They rushed her out a backdoor to a waiting vehicle, in order to avoid the media.

It was the doctors at UCLA who told Judge Fox that Lindsay should be released. They decided that Lindsay's addiction and psychiatric problems were not nearly as bad as they've been depicted up to now.

Apparently, a big part of Lindsay's problem was that she was misdiagnosed with ADHD and placed on Adderall...which is a powerful stimulant that can have an effect similar to that of METH...especially in someone who doesn't need it.

According to RadarOnline.com, Lindsay will continue to receive outpatient treatment two or three times a week at UCLA.







ROBBING PARIS...
PARIS HILTON awoke at about 6:30 yesterday morning, only to discover a man with TWO KNIVES trying to get into her house. Luckily, he tripped the alarm system, and police got there before he could get in.

The perp...a 31-year-old man named Nathan Lee Parada...was arrested on one count of felony burglary. As of last night, he was being held on $50,000 bail.

Shortly after the incident, Paris Tweeted, "So Scary, just got woken up to a guy trying to break into my house holding 2 big knifes. Cops are here arresting him."
(Yes, she wrote "knifes".)

Here's footage from a news chopper of Paris walking out onto her balcony wrapped in a blanket...and possibly nothing else...
http://www.ktla.com/videobeta/03fa8e11-a6da-47f7-9659-7bf6f95971ee/News/KTLA-Knife-Wielding-Man-Arrested-Outside-Paris-Hilton-s-Home







THE HEIDI SEX TAPE, PART 2...
TMZ claims that HEIDI MONTAG might be ready to jump on board the celebrity sex tape train. She's supposedly in negotiations now with Vivid Entertainment...the porno company that SPENCER PRATT is threatening to sell their sex tapes to.

TMZ says, "Heidi wants [Vivid] to provide her with the sales numbers on Kim Kardashian's sex tape, which was also released through Vivid, because Heidi may be interested in working out a deal."

Now obviously, Heidi will never admit to this...so there's no use waiting for the "official word." Even if she signs off on the tape, she'll continue to deny she did...even while standing in line at the bank to cash the checks.







MEANWHILE, JENNA...
JENNA JAMESON made a fantastic comment yesterday! She says, "Why do people do porno tapes, sell them, make boatloads of money, then LIE about being victimized? I own up to my porn. I don't cry and say my boyfriend stole it.

THANK YOU








COTTON-CANDIED GODDESS...
KATY PERRY can't stop talking about her "innuendo"-filled song, "Peacock", which includes the lyric: "Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?"

Now, she's calling "Peacock", "the world's biggest innuendo." (???)

Katy adds, "With me there are a lot of double entendres. There's a lot of puns. […] I'm always kind of looking for that one thing that's really normal that you can make twisted."

Hmmm.......that's much like myself actually!








UM...WHAT?...AND WHY?
Guys LOVE coming up with new terms for women's breasts. I'm guessing that's why the website jezebel.com took a poll to come up with our favorite all-time term. But strangely, the winner was...boobs.
And they won by a MASSIVE margin, with 47% of the vote. The next runner-up was...a word we can't say on-air that rhymes with 'Ritz.' That got 23% of the vote.

Some of the other popular terms were: Knockers...chesticles (really)..."the girls"...jubblies...ta-tas...and rack.

And some of the less popular submissions in the poll were: Sack of angry rabbits...womanly protuberances..."Thelma and Louise"...nortons (???)...and "Tweety and Sylvester."

I just report it.







IDIOT OF THE DAY...FROM OHIO, NATURALLY...
This answer wasn't good enough for the cops...so I'm guessing that, one day, it also won't be good enough for Jesus.

There's a 19-year-old sophomore at Miami University of Ohio named Jacob Pleban, and around 1:00 A.M. on Friday, he was caught by the cops drunkenly RELIEVING HIMSELF on the back wall of a Methodist church.

And when they asked him if he realized he was doing that to a Methodist church, he told them it was okay because, quote, "I'm Catholic."

They didn't accept "I'm Catholic" as an excuse, and arrested him. He was charged with public urination, disorderly conduct and underage intoxication.