AND WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

Satuh-day! Back to it...



CAN'T SEE THE PEAS...
BLACK EYED PEAS member APL.DE.AP has revealed that he's been legally BLIND for his whole life.

Apl.De.Ap says he has a rare genetic eye disorder called nystagmus...("nih-STAG-mus".) The condition causes the eyes to move involuntarily, which results in bad, blurry vision.

As with other eye problems, some cases are worse than others. Despite being described as "legally blind," Apl.De.Ap can see a little. He says it's like severe near-sightedness...he has to squint or strain his eyes to see things.

He says, quote, "I'm good at shapes. If I'm not close, even if it's big, I can't read it."

The disorder cannot be corrected with glasses or contacts. But Apl.De.Ap has learned to live with it . . . "I doubted myself for a long time . . . I'm comfortable not using my vision. I weave around my problems."







AKRON BAND IS EXHAUSTED...
Akron natives THE BLACK KEYS have canceled a bunch of upcoming dates...in Australia, New Zealand and Europe...because they're EXHAUSTED.

In a message on their website, the band explained, quote, "[We] are sorry...an arduous year of touring and promotion has drained the band and necessitated time off. [We] wish to thank all of you who have shown such incredible support."

It's unclear whether or not the shows will be rescheduled.







THE MYSTERY OF KE$HA...
And the mystery of KE$HA has been solved. According to Ke$ha, her mom taught her, "everything about sex"...before she turned SEVEN.

"My mom left me at home when I was 14 with a credit card and a box of condoms and the keys to the car and said, 'Don't get pregnant and don't drink and drive.' I had to be responsible for myself."

Ke$ha doesn't know who her father is...she says, "I talked to my mom about it. She has a sketchy memory. I don't really care. I'm going to pretend like my dad is MICK JAGGER and proceed."

Uh...If that's true, wouldn't her line about kicking guys to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger be incestuous? Or at least quite creepy? Daddy issues!








TAYLOR GETS LOVE...
Not that kind, you pervo. She's getting PRAISE actually!
JEWEL and former "American Idol" judge KARA DIOGUARDI have been out promoting their new show "Platinum Hit", which debuts next summer on BRAVO.

Since the show is a songwriting competition similar to "American Idol", they talked about songwriters they respect.

Let's start with Kara. She said, "Taylor is a great songwriter. She's a beautiful girl. And she stands for something for her generation. When that comes together, it has a life of its own.

"When we talk about great songs, it's all about unique perspective. (Taylor) has a unique way of saying things."

Jewel added that Taylor is a triple threat. She said, "(Taylor is) someone people can identify on a three-dimensional level.

"You have to be a real person. You want to be authentic. And it has to be a cult of a personality that you can follow on top of being a great song."







DATING: MAXIM STYLE...
"Maxim" surveyed more than 2,000 men and women between the ages of 18 and 64 to find out what they REALLY think about dating in the year 2011. Here's what they found.

There are plenty of people looking to date. 38% of people say they're looking to date...or at least hook up. And...10% of the MARRIED people surveyed said they're looking to date or hook up.

Social media is a big part of modern dating. 25% of people use social media in their dating life, and 40% judge people by what's in their Facebook profile. Oh great, so you all think I'm totally insane. I'm not...I'm only partially insane! Honest!
But...70% of people say that they'd rather meet someone in person than online.

You'd better secure your passwords. 24% of people admitted they've spied on their significant other's email, texts, cell phone calls, or social media accounts. Men are more likely to end a relationship over something they find.

People still like old-fashioned phone calls. 75% of people say the best way to get in touch after a good date is by phone. I like it.

Everyone still lies and says they don't care about looks. But I'm here to tell you WE'RE ALL SHALLOW and you should just have the balls to admit it!
Everyone surveyed is still telling the same old lies. People rated personality as someone's most important quality, followed by brains and shared interests. Looks came in LAST place.

Chivalry could be dead if men would let it die. 55% of women say chivalry doesn't matter that much to them anymore...but 69% of guys say they consider themselves old-fashioned gentlemen who open doors and pay for dates. Interesting.

Women like men who play video games? This is either a sign of the times or a sign of women getting desperate...I'd go with the latter...but 39% say it's a TURN-ON when a guy lists "video games" as one of his interests.

Yes, because becoming a widow to your hubby's World Of Warcraft addiction is SOOO appealing, right?!






WHAT?? I DON'T BUY THIS...
According to a new book, people are actually more likely to remember their FIRST KISS than the time they lost their virginity. I don't buy it. Is this bad...I have NO idea who my first kiss was? I could probably narrow it down if I really sat and thought about it, but it's not top-of-mind information.

Sheril Kirshenbaum is a researcher at the University of Texas. And she just put out a new book called "The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us". Here's what she found.

When you kiss, it's so anticipated and brings up such new and complex feelings that your brain is at its absolute sharpest.

Most people can recall 90% of the details of their first kiss...when it happened, where, with whom, and how you felt.

Having sex for the first time involves more nerves and requires your brain to focus on so many tasks that it's harder to remember all the little details.

Kirshenbaum's studies also found that women anticipate their first kiss more than men...







IDOL...
A new book called "American Idol: The Untold Story", which just came out, claims SIMON COWELL turned down a $130 MILLION-a-year salary from Fox to do the American version of "X Factor" AND re-up with "Idol".

Supposedly, he initially agreed to the deal, but then decided against it, possibly because he no longer wanted to work with his former partner, "Idol" creator Simon Fuller. (They haven't been on good terms for years now.)

Fox did end up landing "X Factor" anyway, and it'll premiere in September. There's no word how much Simon ended up getting for just doing that.








SHOT OVER CAKE? OR MAYBE IT'S FRIES...
On Monday, in Philadelphia, a 31-year-old man was SHOT by a friend for eating his food. That we know for sure. Exactly what food led to the shooting...well that's a mystery.

The "Philadelphia Daily News" says the food was CAKE. They say the man was in the backseat of his friend's car and started eating some cake. They argued, got out of the car...and the driver shot his friend in the chest.

CBS 3 in Philadelphia has a different report. THEY say the man was in the backseat and started eating some of his friend's FRENCH FRIES. They argued, got out of the car...and the driver shot his friend in the chest.

The "Daily News" is taking a hard stance that their cake story is correct. They interviewed an investigator who said it was cake, not fries. BUT...that investigator wanted to stay anonymous, which hurts their credibility a little bit.

Whether it was a cake- or fry-induced shooting, it was bad...the man was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. His friend is still on the run.







"A FEMALE YIELDING A FISH"...
If there was ever going to be an ICE-FISHING BRAWL, this is juuuuust about how I'd picture it going down. I wouldn't mind seeing that televised, in all honesty.

On Saturday, two men in their early 20s were ice fishing at Black Lake, which is in Norton Shores, Michigan.

If you don't know what ice fishing is, it's when you go out onto a frozen lake, make a little hole in the ice, and then fish through the hole.

A 29-year-old woman from Fruitport, Michigan was also out ice fishing on the lake. And she was upset that the guys had set up their ice fishing shanty too close to HER ice fishing shanty.

So she walked over to the guys, told them she needed to relieve her bladder and was going to do it on the ice...and she asked them to look away. When they turned their heads, she ATTACKED.

According to the police, the men were attacked by, quote, "a female wielding a fish." That's right. The woman had brought a fish with her and started smacking the men in the backs of their heads with it.

The police came to the scene, but the men decided not to press charges.

Makes you wonder why. It probably gets lonely out there on that ice, maybe they like some company...







SO...IS IT ON!?!??!
You may recall that country singer GRETCHEN WILSON was the first artist to set KANYE WEST off on a rant about being cheated out of something or other. It happened at the 2004 "American Music Awards" when she beat him out for Best New Artist. This is after Kanye had the singles "All Falls Down" and "Through The Wire"...'member those? Good tuneage!!

Afterwards, Kanye said, "I felt like I was definitely robbed...I was the best new artist this year."
Because of that, Gretchen is often asked to comment on Kanye's latest dumbass move. At Tuesday's Grammy nomination party in Nashville she was asked for her take on Kanye's infamous stage invasion of TAYLOR SWIFT.

Gretchen didn't hold back. She said, "I think he's an ass really for acting like that. He really is. He makes quite a spectacle. So grow up. Quit being such a baby!

"You know, if somebody beats you, it's because they deserve to beat you. And I don't know if you remember all the way back to the first time. I outsold you, bro! Do your homework."

Has she outsold Kanye since then?? Is she still a big deal? I don't follow country music too much...I know she doesn't have nearly the power that a Taylor, Carrie, or Lady A has, so I'd have to guess she's just a mild success these days?

Anyway, Gretchen added this throwdown statement for good measure. She said, "It's kinda cool for me to know that I was the first. Kanye, just remember, I was your first. And I'm not above kicking your ass."

Oh yeah, it's on! Or, it would be on if Kanye hadn't already pissed-off half the planet. So I doubt this will go anywhere.







IT'S OFFICIAL: WAL-MART MAKES YOU FAT!!
According to a study by the University of North Carolina, Greensboro, when a Wal-Mart opens in town...everyone in town gets CHUBBIER.

The researchers found that a new Wal-Mart translated to an average weight gain of 1.5 pounds per person over the next decade. It also boosts the area's obesity rate by 2.3%.

They believe this is because food is cheaper at Wal-Mart...and those cheap foods aren't usually the ones that are good for you.

Yes, this is what your tuition dollars are going to fund.......






JAYTAY BACK AT IT???
JAKE GYLLENHAAL and TAYLOR SWIFT might be back together. They reportedly had dinner together Wednesday night at a restaurant called Bound'ry...which is near Taylor's condo in Nashville.

One source says, "They were cordial to one another, but not affectionate." And another adds, "There was no holding hands, but they seemed happy together. They sat next to the fireplace just chatting away."

Jake broke up with Taylor several weeks ago because she couldn't spell his last name, then spent "Golden Globes" weekend hitting on pretty much everything that menstruates.







SORRY, BASEBALL...
Calling baseball "America's pastime" is getting to be patronizing at this point. Because football passed it a long time ago...and that ain't changing anytime soon.

The Harris Poll just released their annual list of the most popular sports in the U.S., and for the 25th year in a row, NFL football was number one.

When they started this poll in 1985, the margin was tiny. Pro football got 24% of the votes for favorite sport...pro baseball got 23%. In the most recent survey, in 2010, that margin was 31% for the NFL, 17% for MLB.

Baseball still managed to beat out all of the other major U.S. sports. College football came in third, at 12%...auto racing was fourth, at 7%...and pro basketball came in fifth, at 6%.

I guess I'm a little surprised basketball comes at #5, but I'm probably under-estimating the redneckers who love them some fast cars...

Those are followed by hockey . . . men's soccer . . . men's college basketball . . . men's golf . . . track and field . . . bowling . . . men's tennis . . . boxing . . . horse racing . . . women's tennis . . . and swimming.

Four sports didn't even get 1% of the vote: women's pro basketball, women's soccer, women's college basketball, and women's golf.

For what it's worth, mixed martial arts isn't included in this survey. And neither is pro badminton. What the hell? Get some culture, Harris poll.







LESS GRIDLOCK...
This is pretty much the textbook definition of looking for a silver lining. Yes, the recession has had an impact on every single person in this country. Yes, it's wreaked havoc on all of our jobs. Yes, it's hurt countless people's lives.

But when it comes to TRAFFIC...my God, it's never been better.
According to a new study from the Texas Transportation Institute, in 2008 and 2009, the U.S. saw a HISTORIC drop in traffic jams.

Traffic jam data goes back to 1982. Every single year since then it has either stayed the same or gone up. Until the recession. Then the roads cleared out, and the amount of time people lost to traffic jams went down 13%.

Nationwide, in 2009, the average driver wasted 34 hours in rush hour traffic. That dropped things all the way back to 1996 levels.

David Schrank co-authored the report. He says, "The economy is so tied to transportation. When jobs go away, bottlenecks on the road disappear and things ease up."