Thursday, August 30, 2012

Now that there's texting, e-mail seems so old-school.  So I guess this makes JOHN MAYER an old-fashioned HEEL... 

"Us Weekly" claims that John dumped KATY PERRY by e-mail...because he was, "tired of her hard partying."

A source adds, "She was furious and really hurt.  She was into him, but he wasn't feeling it."

Another source says that Katy is trying to land ROBERT PATTINSON.  They've been friends for years, but last week they went to dinner together where they were, quote, "nestled close [and] flirting."

According to the "New York Post", TAYLOR SWIFT was missing her boyfriend CONOR KENNEDY so much, she sent her private jet to Massachusetts to whisk him down to Nashville.

A source said, "Taylor missed Conor so much, she sent a plane for him a few days [after she left.]  He's been with her ever since, and his family doesn't know when he will be back.

"Things have become so serious between them so fast that no one in Hyannis Port would be surprised if they eloped."

One more thing about Taylor and Conor:  Taylor admits in the September 13th issue of "Rolling Stone" that she did look into buying a house near the Kennedy compound.  She said, "That would be so amazing."

Last we heard "American Idol" was trying to work out a deal for either KEITH URBAN or BRAD PAISLEY to be a judge for this season. CARRIE UNDERWOOD says that's a good move, simply because the audience seems to want it.

She said, "I do think it would be wise to have a country person be a judge. You look at the track record of'American Idol', and there's me and SCOTTY [MCCREERY] and LAUREN [ALAINA] who were the final two.

"There's obviously a want for it from the audience because that's who they are voting for.  So, it makes sense they would have somebody they know and love in as a judge."

Other country performers who came out of "Idol" include Kellie Pickler, Josh Gracin, Bucky Covington, Casey James, Danny Gokey

A British theme park asked people what sounds they like the most . . . and which ones they hate.  Here are the ten sounds we LIKE the most:       

#1.)  Waves crashing against rocks.

#2.)  Rain hitting against windows.

#3.)  The sound of people walking in snow.

#4.)  Babies laughing.

#5.)  Birds chirping.

#6.)  A fire crackling.

#7.)  People laughing.

#8.)  Leaves crunching beneath your feet.

#9.)  Cats purring.

#10.)  Church bells in the distance.

--And here are the ten sounds we HATE the most:

#1.)  Nails on a chalkboard.

#2.)  Someone throwing up.

#3.)  A car alarm.

#4.)  A dentist's drill.

#5.)  Someone spitting.

#6.)  A yappy dog.

#7.)  Screaming babies or children.

#8.)  Someone talking with their mouth full.

#9.)  Teeth grinding.

#10.)  A knife grinding on a plate.

A new survey figured out the top five lies men tell, and the top five lies women tell.  Check 'em out . . .

--The Top Five Lies Men Tell:

#1.)  "I didn't have that much to drink."

#2.)  "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine."

#3.)  "I didn't have phone reception."

#4.)  "It wasn't that expensive."

#5.)  "I'm on my way."

--The Top Five Lies Women Tell:

#1.)  "Nothing's wrong, I'm fine."

#2.)  "I don't know where it is, I didn't touch it."

#3.)  "It wasn't that expensive."

#4.)  "I didn't have that much to drink."

#5.)  "I have a headache."

--The survey also found men tell about one lie more per day than women, three to two. 

I'm about to sum up everything that's wrong with this country in one sentence.  According to a new survey by Ford, 99% of Americans believe they're safe drivers.

And right now, you're probably thinking, "Man, people are delusional.  But I really AM a safe driver." That's exactly what WE thought when we saw the story.  But we're just as delusional as everyone else.  Here's why . . .

Even though 99% of us say we're safe drivers, 76% admit to eating while driving, 55% go over the speed limit,54% talk on their phones without a hands-free device, 37% drive tired, and 25% look through their phone while they drive.

The survey didn't ask people if they text and drive, or drink and drive.

If you try to make a grand romantic gesture, and almost die in the process, does that make it more romantic? Or less romantic?  For this guy's sake, let's say MORE.

This month, in Chongqing in southern China, a man named Hu Seng decided to surprise his girlfriend by having his friend seal him in a CARDBOARD BOX, then had him delivered to her place by a courier.

There was only one problem.  He didn't poke holes in the box for air, because he was afraid they'd ruin the surprise.

The courier service didn't realize there was a man in the box, and it took them three hours to deliver him, instead of the 30 minutes Hu expected.  So by the time Hu's girlfriend opened it, he'd PASSED OUT.

But paramedics came and were able to revive him.

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