WAY-BIG WEDNESDAY

KATY P WON'T GO NAKIE...
KATY PERRY pretty much lives off her cleavage. But for now, she doesn't plan on letting us see anything more.

She says, "I like to play [the sexy] card because it's fun and definitely in my deck, but I like to tease.

"I'm like a burlesque girl. I definitely won't be doing a 'Playboy' spread, but I will be doing a kind of Dita Von Teese style."







IMPATIENCE...
If this study is true, I'm WAY less patient than the average person. Because after I stand in line for about two or three minutes, I COMPLETELY lose patience for the entire concept of waiting in lines, and the idiots who hold them up.

According to a survey by the Payments Council in England, the average adult can wait patiently in line for 10 minutes and 42 seconds before they start getting angry.

For people over 55, their patience runs out the earliest, at nine minutes, 30 seconds in line.

People under 35 are the most patient...they don't start getting angry until an average of 12 minutes, 18 seconds...but they're also the most likely to get into arguments with strangers in the line.

People ranked grocery store lines as the most frustrating. Lines at the post office are second, airport check-in lines are third, and airport security lines are fourth.

The survey also found that 21% of people do their shopping at night to try to avoid longer lines.

About 25% of people say they pass time in a line by daydreaming...and 13% of people try to pass the time by talking to random strangers.






CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF...
CHRISTINA AGUILERA was spotted on a DOUBLE-DATE Saturday night with NICOLE RICHIE and our buddy JOEL MADDEN.

Contrary to popular belief, *I* was not the guy with Christina....her alleged date was Matthew Rutler...who worked as a set assistant on Christina's upcoming movie, "Burlesque". (Which hits theaters on Wednesday, November 24th.)

The four of them went to dinner at a place called SoHo House in Hollywood. Afterward, Matthew tried to HIDE under a blanket in the backseat of Christina's car...which Joel was driving.

PIC ON FB: http://www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage

Christina and Matthew met long before Christina filed for divorce from her husband, Jordan Bratman. But so-called "sources" say they were NOT having an affair.

Supposedly, Christina and Jordan had been having problems for quite a while...and Matthew was just a shoulder to cry on during work hours. But after the marriage fell apart, Christina and Matthew took their friendship to the next level. Oh snap!






GAGA WANTS YOUR BF...YOU STOPPIN' HER?
Alex Stebbins didn't.

Alex is a 21-year-old aspiring actress (yeah, OK), and she started dating a guy named LUC CARL after meeting him in August of 2009. At the time, Luc was Gaga's ex-boyfriend.

But a few months into their relationship, Gaga decided she wanted Luc back. So she started calling and texting him. He ignored her for a while, and told Alex he didn't want her back.

But this past summer, he changed his mind. And Alex basically just stepped aside.

She says, "It was really hard to be with someone who has a really famous ex-girlfriend who would stop at nothing to get him back.

"I wasn't going to go toe to toe with Lady Gaga, because that's like fighting Jesus. She's the most powerful woman in the world, and there's no winning."







THE UNIVERSITY OF AKON!
No, I didn't spell that wrong. It's Akon, not Akron. AKON has done some stupid things in his career. Like the time he simulated sex with an underage fan onstage at a concert.

Or how about when he threw a male teenager off the stage at another concert, because the kid had tossed something at Akon from the crowd?

Now, Akon is doing some GOOD things, and it's only fair to tell you about them.

Akon has started something called the Konfidence Foundation...and that's "Konfidence" with a "K"...like "Konvict" of course...to help underprivileged children in Africa.

He has already used profits from touring to open an elementary school in Senegal...and now, he's hoping to build both a university and a hospital there.

Akon says, "We feel like education doesn't mean anything if you aren't healthy. Between health and education those are the two key things to rebuild any country.

"We want to start with the kids because they have a lot more growing up to do and a lot more to give in order to create a future for ourselves."







GET YOUR GRUNT READY...
Former "Home Improvement" superstar TIM ALLEN...one of MY favorite shows growing up...has a new sitcom in development at ABC. It's called "Man Up"...and Tim will play a guy who's, "fighting for his manhood in a world of women."

It's in the pilot stage right now, which means that they'll be assembling a cast soon. If everything works out, it could be up for a spot on ABC's fall schedule next year.







A STUDY RIGHT OUT OF CLEVELAND...
For as long as there have been parents, they've been FREAKING OUT about how new trends they don't fully understand will lead their sweet little angels to DEVIANCE.

They said it about cars, they said it about rock music, they said it about video games. And now...a new study is saying it about texting.

According to Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, teenagers who send at least 120 text messages a day are more likely to drink, smoke, fight, do drugs, and have sex.

The researchers studied more than 4,200 students at public high schools around Cleveland. They found kids who sent at least 120 texts each day were 350% more likely to have sex than kids who don't send as many texts.

They were also 40% more likely to smoke, 43% more likely to binge drink, 41% more likely to use drugs, and 55% more likely to be in a fight.

Now, the researchers say it's not quite time to panic about texting yet. Their best theory on why texting is connected to making bad choices comes back to the parents.

Dr. Scott Frank, who led the study, says, "If parents are monitoring their kids' texting and social networking, they're probably monitoring other activities as well."