The Mad Dash...For The Winstons!

Now, let's say you are a female. Gonna guess at least 30, perhaps 32, but not much older than that. Brown hair, glasses, a little bit of paunch on you. You're slightly over candy-coated, but not fat. You drive an early 2000's model blue Ford Taurus. It matches the blue scrubs you're wearing. Yeah, you must work at a local hospital. ACH?

So there you are, Sunday night, presumably on your way to work, considering you have your scrubs on. And, it was about 9:45pm, so you probably started at 10. You realize that you don't have any smokes left. Well THAT is certainly unacceptable! So, you decide to hit the local convenience store. The Sheetz, which is the closest to your work, and right on the way. No time to waste, you've gotta get those Marlboro's so you can light up another one before your shift! Only a few minutes to go!
Or maybe it wasn't smokes, maybe it was lottery tickets?

You fly into the parking lot, darting in-between the islands of gas pumps, headed for that coveted parking space right in front of the door! The speed would generally be considered too fast for a small parking lot, like that of a gas station. Especially given that sight lines aren't very good around the gas pumps.

As you fly past the pumps, you nearly hit a car that was coming in from the side, headed for a farther parking spot. The guy driving obviously could use all the excersize he can get, and parks a bit from the door. The man driving the other car has to swerve and slam on his brakes, as do you, or you would have collided. He proceeds past you, and you fly into that prized parking spot! Yes!

Upon entering the store, you head directly for the line by the register. Not too busy, you're second! The guy that you nearly hit enters the store. You see him approaching, and know that you screwed up, but as he walks thru the sliding doors, you turn and pretend not to notice.

The man is generally not one looking for controversy. Some would argue that point, I suppose, but overall, he likes to lay low. However, you were an idiot, and he feels like calling you out on it, subtly.

As he passes you, en route to order his food around the corner, he says to you, as he walks "good job paying attention there lady, reeeeall good." He doesn't say it with an angry tone, he doesn't mumble it under his breath, and he doesn't shout it for everyone to hear. He says it so you, and probably anyone directly around you, can hear. Without any type of tone, except for maybe a strong dose of sarcasm. But its not anything more than a 'hey...way to be dumb!' kind of thing.

The man never stops to talk with you, not looking for trouble. He continues on about his business. You decide that he REALLY just chapped your ass. Yeah, you know you were wrong in the first place, but he had the NERVE to call you out on it? How DARE he do that?!

Quite cranky now, you say to him, so that he can hear it as he continues to walk away, "Why don't you kiss my ass!"Still moving further, he quips back with a chuckle "heh, don't really feel like it tonight, sorry!", said much louder this time, as he was farther away and you wouldn't have been able to hear him.

You realize that "wow...did I really just say that? I'm 30+ years old, work in the nursing profession, so I obviously have some smarts upstairs, and THAT is what I just said? Kiss my ass?! I feel so dumb! I can do better than that!"

You, no doubt, are ashamed for the weakness of the insult. You could have apologized, explained that you were in a rush. But, the fact that he had the gall to call you out on it, thats what really got you fired up. And in the heat of the moment, you get a big FAIL for your response.

Lesson?
Try some creativity in your comebacks. And learn how to drive :)
Enjoy that cigarette.