SUNDAY NOT FUNDAY

um......here's some shtuff.

IF YOU *WANNA* GET WITH GAGA...
...cause I sure DON'T! But maybe you do.
LADY GAGA doesn't exactly seem to ooze sex appeal, but if you're someone who IS interested in her, here's what she's looking for:

According to Britain's "Sun" tabloid, Lady Gaga describes her type as, "[Ranging] from a really big [manhood] to a degree at Harvard."

She adds that she's also attracted to, "Talent and perseverance and pushing the boundaries of love and acceptance."

That being said, it's unclear how available she is. We've heard that Lady Gaga is hooking up with TAYLOR KINNEY from "The Vampire Diaries".








MIDNIGHT BLACK FRIDAY IS HERE TO STAY...
Stores posted all-time record sales on Black Friday and the ones that opened at midnight or earlier...including Walmart, Best Buy, Target, and Macy's...all reported enormous sales. SO...expect those early openings to be back next year.

Terry Lundgren is the CEO of Macy's. He says they LOVED the midnight opening because it brought a younger crowd they usually don't get on Black Friday. Then, around 4:00 A.M., the usual, older Black Friday crowd came as a second wave.








HOLIDAY STRESS? BLAME THE DECORATIONS!!
Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, a lot of people will be breaking out the Christmas decorations. But if you're not careful, apparently you can ruin the holiday season with poor placement.

Robyn Bentley says she's an expert on the proper placement of household items. From now I'm going to call myself an expert on frozen microwave dinners, how's that?

She also calls herself the Feng Shui Diva. I'm a guy so I don't even know what the HELL that is, let alone how to pronounce it.

She points out that many families have more sickness over the holiday season, people argue more, and feel more depressed...and she blames the decorations. So here are her decorating tips:

#1.) No red lights on the East or South sides of your house: According to Robyn, there's illness energy in the East and South sections of every house. And red lights add the "fire" element to your home.

Oh....Lord.

Obviously, you don't want such an intense element in areas of the house filled with illness energy. So use silver, white, and gold there instead. Obviously.

#2.) Don't create clutter or obstacles: First of all, squeezing past the talking, dancing snowman to get into the kitchen is just going to increase everyone's stress level. But clutter also slows the "chi flow" in your home.

The what? Is that something to do with Chicago?? I hate the White Sox too, maybe she's on to something with that.

#3.) Turn the Christmas lights off at bedtime: Too much light makes your body think it's daytime, and you won't get restful sleep. So turn off the holiday light display before hitting the sack.








SEASONS GREETINGS
I kinda like getting the Christmas cards in the mail.....hint hint!!! (especially when money is in them!)

According to a new survey, 63% of people say they plan to mail a holiday card this year, whether it's a Christmas card or letter to all of their family or friends or just a regular Hallmark card.

People also say they prefer hard-copy cards to e-cards, email, and phone calls.








HUGGERS UNITE!
HUGGING plays a way bigger role in your life than you ever quite realized.

According to a new study out of England, the average person wants a hug THIRTEEN TIMES a day. Each of those hugs averages 9.5 seconds. (That seems like a LOT of hugging for an awful LONG time to me...)

And every month, we spend one hour hugging. That means you spend somewhere around 40 FULL DAYS of your life hugging.

The study also found that 69% of people turn to their significant other for a hug. (And hopefully 100% turn to them for a 69.)

14% look to close friends when they want a hug...9% look to their parents.

About 14% said that they do their hugging in private because public displays of affection are inappropriate.

33% said it's inappropriate to hug in the workplace.









THE DREAM HOME
A new survey asked people to describe their dream house and, basically, the average person wants something that seems pretty obscure...an isolated, rural house on a lot of land that's also very convenient to work and shopping.

Here's the breakdown of the average dream house...

In a rural area, on at least a half-acre of land.

So isolated that you can get privacy without having to close the curtains.

BUT...less than 10 miles from work, less than five miles from the nearest town, and less than two miles away from school, the grocery store, and the doctor.

And despite the isolation, people want good neighbors who they're on a first-name basis with.

The only things people want from the house itself are four bedrooms, a study, a dining room, and a kitchen with a breakfast nook.

As for any "fantasy" elements of the house, there was only one that made the list...about half of the people polled wanted an indoor swimming pool.

About 10% of people surveyed said they were already living in their dream house. 25% of people say they're saving for it. The rest don't think they'll ever achieve their fantasy.








BURNING THOSE WINTER CALORIES
Chances are you gained a little weight this holiday season. or will soon. So here's something to keep you motivated: Four winter activities that can burn 500 calories in one hour.

#1.) Skiing and Snowboarding. It depends on how much you weigh, and how tough the slopes are. But you can generally expect to burn between 350 and 500 calories an hour.

#2.) Ice Skating. Just skating around in a circle for 60 minutes can burn between 400 and 500 calories.

#3.) Snowshoeing. Not like anybody DOES this. But if you want to strap on snowshoes and go for an hour-long hike, you can easily burn 500 calories or more.

#4.) Sledding. Obviously the actual sledding-downhill part doesn't burn that many calories. But the rest of the time, you're just walking uphill. So one hour of sledding can burn about 400 to 500 calories for the average person.









WEEZY & EMINEM DO A WORLD TOUR:
Peep the link: http://www.vibe.com/posts/lil-wayne-announces-world-tour-eminem









ANNND PLUMPING ON UP!
A new Gallup poll found that we're getting heavier, and we don't seem to care.

The average American is just under 20 pounds heavier than they were in 1990. Men weighed 180 pounds back then, and women weighed 142.

Now the average American male weighs 196 pounds, an increase of 16 pounds in 21 years. The average woman is up 18 pounds to 160.

Even our "goal weight" has increased over that time. Most people name a target weight that's ten pounds heavier than it was in 1990.

Back then, men said their ideal weight was 171 pounds. That's increased to 181.

The ideal weight for women went from 129 pounds in 1990 to 138 now, an increase of nine pounds.

And even though nearly 70% of American adults are considered overweight or obese by the CDC, just 39% think they're overweight. 56% of us think our weight is "just right."






OHIO STATE SAYS NO WAY!!!
We've all heard that men think about sex every seven seconds. According to a new study, that's a myth. Men don't think about sex THAT much. BUT...men DO think about sex more than women.

The study was conducted at The Ohio State University and had both men and women record how often they think about sex, food, and sleep on a daily basis.

The average man thought about sex 19 times per day. That's not once every seven seconds, obviously. To think about sex every seven seconds, you'd need to think about sex 8,000 times a day.

The average woman thought about sex 10 times a day...which is about half of what men reported.

The man who thought about sex the most in the study thought about it 388 times a day. That's about 24 times per hour. The woman who thought about sex the most thought about it 140 times a day, or almost nine times an hour. I'm pretty sure I know who that girl is.

NO ONE in the study of either gender had zero sexual thoughts per day.

The study also found that, in addition to 19 sexual thoughts, men think about FOOD 18 times a day and sleep 11 times. Women think about sex 10 times, food 15 times, and sleep about 8-and-a-half times.








72% OF GUYS...
This poll asked guys if they've ever used a pick-up line. 72%, or about three-fourths, said NO. 28% said yes. And here are some of the most popular lines they've used...

8% have said to a woman, "Is that a ladder in your pants or a stairway to heaven?"

7% have said, "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day."

And 5% have tried, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"







RANDOM:
Two-Thirds of Expectant Parents Google Potential Names for Their Baby...To Make Sure It's Not a Stripper or Serial Killer's Name









NICKELBACK SAYS EFF THE HATERS
NICKELBACK says their fans always come out to support them, so they're not concerned about the haters. Specifically, the ones that supported an online petition to have them removed from the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving game halftime show.

Singer CHAD KROEGER says, "We get [hate like] that all the time. We've never really been a critics' darling or anything like that...The people speak. We sell a lot of records and fill a lot of arenas, and we don't hear many complaints."

Well, I'll give them that.

The petition picked up over 55,000 supporters. But Chad is right...according to their label, Nickelback has sold over 50 million albums worldwide, and has had over a dozen hits on the "Billboard" charts.

Of course, "the people" started that petition, not music critics. Every band has haters...Regardless, Nickelback seems to take that in stride.








MUSICAL TURNOFFS:
Tastebuds.fm recently conducted a poll to determine the Top 10 Musical Turnoffs according to their users. The site defined these acts as, quote, "The bands you just can't stand...REALLY can't stand."

Perhaps not surprisingly, NICKELBACK came in at #1...followed by JUSTIN BIEBER. (OK, so Canada = Good at healthcare, bad at fostering good music.)

Here's the Top 10, which is filled with some predictable names:

1.) Nickelback
2.) Justin Bieber
3.) Lady Gaga
4.) Ke$ha
5.) Coldplay
6.) U2
7.) Creed
8.) Katy Perry
9.) Lil Wayne
10.) Britney Spears.







LADY GAGA...
...in the new issue of "Vanity Fair". She says: "I Have an Inability to Know What Happiness Feels Like with a Man. I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that's what intimidates them is not my purse, it's my mind.

"It starts out good. Then when I'm in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it's all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.

"It's a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone."









DREADING THE HOLIDAYS: HERE'S WHY
I love this list because it's so not politically correct, and so HONEST. "Consumer Reports" surveyed more than 1,000 Americans and asked them what they're dreading about the holiday season. Here's the full top 11:

#1.) Crowds and long lines, 68%

#2.) Gaining weight, 37%

#3.) Getting into debt, 37%

#4.) Gift shopping, 28%

#5.) Traveling, 25%

#6.) SEEING CERTAIN RELATIVES, 24%

#7.) Nonstop seasonal music, 23% (none of that on Q92!)

#8.) Disappointing gifts, 19%

#9.) Having to attend holiday parties and events, 16%

#10.) HAVING TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE, 15%

#11.) Holiday tipping, 12%








SHOPLIFTING ON THE RISE...
When I look at the photos and watch the videos of the mob scenes from Black Friday, I wonder, "How do these stores keep people from stealing EVERYTHING?" And the answer is...they don't.

The National Association of Shoplifting Prevention just released some new statistics...and it turns out shoplifting is WAY bigger than you ever realized. Check this out...

Statistically, one out of every ELEVEN people who walks into a store shoplifts something. Seriously.

Retailers are set to lose $119 BILLION this year to shoplifting. That's 1.45% of total sales.

Only 3% of shoplifters are pros.

70% of shoplifters didn't go to the store planning to steal...but saw an opportunity and took it.

75% of shoplifters are adults, most of whom have jobs. And 35% have help from a corrupt employee.

Shoplifting is up 6% compared to last year.








AND WHAT ARE WE STEALING?
"Adweek" magazine surveyed store security pros from around the country and asked them what items are shoplifted the most from their stores. Here's the top ten:

#1.) Filet mignon. (LOL!!!!) "Luxury meat" thefts are up 21% since 2009 and are the most commonly stolen items from grocery stores.

#2.) Expensive liquors. Stolen more by alcoholics than underage kids.

#3.) Small electric tools. This covers everything from power drills to electric toothbrushes.

#4.) iPhones. iPhones, plus other small electronics, get stolen all the time. Approximately 100,000 laptops are stolen from stores every year.

#5.) Gillette Mach 4 razor blades. Razor blade thefts account for 2.7% of all store losses.

#6.) AXE body spray. AXE is the most stolen brand of deodorant, body wash, and body spray.

#7.) Polo. Polo is the most stolen designer brand, and Tommy Hilfiger is second. Clothing theft is up 31% since 2009.

#8.) Let's Rock Elmo. This Elmo toy, along with all the other hot toys for this Christmas season, are major targets.

#9.) Chanel No. 5. Designer fragrances account for 4% of losses in stores where they're sold.

#10.) Nikes.









I-O-WA!
The Good News: ASHTON KUTCHER returned to his hometown last week, and was swarmed by girls. The Bad News: Ashton's hometown is in Iowa. (I kid, I kid. I LOVE the cornfed Iowa girls! Seriously!)

Ashton and some friends hit a few bars in Iowa City, and a source says, "He was drinking beer, and girls kept coming up to him. He loved the attention. Girls were hugging him and shaking his hand.

"He was swarmed by girls. A few tried to convince him to go to a strip club...but he declined!"








FACEBOOK FTW!
Here's a great shot in the Facebook-versus-Twitter rivalry. Twitter only lets you post updates that are 140 characters. That's their signature characteristic.

Well...Facebook is going in the OTHER direction. Yesterday, they announced that they'll let you post a status update or wall post that's 63,206 characters.

In other words, their max is 451.5 times higher than Twitter's.

The previous max on Facebook was 5,000 characters, which they established in September. Before then, you could only post 500 characters.

The 63,206 characters basically means you'll NEVER hit the limit. To compare, a full-length novel is about 500,000 characters...which means it would only take you eight Facebook posts to put up an entire novel.