I'M SORRY MS. JACKSON...

I am for REAL!
Herrrrrre's some shtuff....


S-S-S & M-M-M
RIHANNA doesn't just appear on the cover of the new "Rolling Stone" in painted-on shorts. She also gave them a pretty candid interview, in which she revealed her preferences in the bedroom. Not surprisingly, she's a little kinky. Chains and whips DO excite her! Well, sort of...

She says, "I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned [because] you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I'd rather have him use his hands."

She adds, "Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge...That's sexy to me."

Rihanna is also a bit of a masochist outside the bedroom...and that's not always such a good thing. She says, "It's not something I'm proud of, and it's not something I noticed until recently.

"I think it's common for people who witness abuse in their household. They can never smell how beautiful a rose is unless they get pricked by a thorn."

Obviously, that's our segue into the part of the interview where Rihanna discusses CHRIS BROWN. First off, she addressed easing the restraining order that's been in place since he assaulted her in February of 2009.

She said, "You can never please people. One minute I'm being too hard, and the next minute I'm a fool because I'm not being hard enough.

"It doesn't mean we're gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn't want to object to the judge."

Rihanna says she's not jumping back into any kind of relationship with Chris...but at the same time, she's not interested in punishing him anymore, either.

"We don't have to talk again ever in my life. I just didn't want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did to me was a personal thing. It had nothing to do with his career.

"Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can't perform at awards shows, that definitely made it difficult for him. That was the only thing it was going to change, so I didn't care."

Rihanna admits she kept her emotions in check after the Chris Brown incident..."I put my guard up so hard...I didn't want people to see me cry. I didn't want people to feel bad for me.

"It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, 'I'm fine, I'm tough.' I put that up until it felt real."










WOMEN ON FACEBOOK? THEY HATE THEIR FACEBOOK FRIENDS...
Here's more proof that your Facebook friends aren't really your friends. Because, odds are...you secretly HATE them. At least if you're a woman.

A new survey of 400 women (not many) found that 83%, or more than four out of five, admit they've kinda grown to HATE most of their Facebook friends. And these are the reasons why...

65% say their friends share too many boring or pointless updates too often.

63% say their friends complain all the time.

46% say their friends "like" too many posts.

41% say their friends use Facebook inappropriately, or too frequently, to promote political or social causes.

40% say their friends use Facebook to clearly provide false info or images that show off a perfect life.

LOL ^That one makes me laugh. "What the hell, I KNOW her life is actually in shambles, she should be showing THAT!"

And 16% say their friends post too many photos of their damn kids.

The survey also found that 61% of women say they're Facebook friends with a drama queen . . . 35% are friends with a "frenemy" . . . and 26% are friends with someone who always puts up airbrushed or touched-up photos.

Ya know what bugs me? People who put photoshopped pics up. Be it black and white, or that have all kinds of stupid artsy crap on them...









UM...
This is a completely random study out of the University of North Carolina...but, I guess, it should help you the next time you're at Macy's and trying to get the attention of those super sexy employees at the cologne counter.

Researchers at UNC found that people will think you're more IMPRESSIVE if they see you riding UP an escalator or walking UP a flight of stairs than if they see you walking DOWN. No, really.

They believe the reason is that we subconsciously link height to power. So when someone sees you moving upward, it gives a slight illusion that you're getting taller...which makes you more impressive.

Is that true? Ever saw someone riding up an escalator and said 'Oh, I GOTTA have it!?'







AHHH, BASEBALL SEASON...
And hey, you've GOTTA love the TRIBE starting off 5-2 as of this writing! Check out the salaries of MLB teams. A-Rod makes as much as the ENTIRE KC Royals squad: http://www.thespread.com/mlb-news/033111-2011-baseball-payrolls-list







SEE, WE AREN'T PERVS!!
You know that old catchphrase that men think about sex every seven seconds? According to a new survey, men are a LOT less perverted than that. I mean...it's not even close.

Head & Shoulders (really? of all organizations...) surveyed 5,000 men and they found that men actually only think about sex every TWO HOURS. Here's how the average guy's day breaks down...

He spends 177 minutes a day worrying about his job.

If he's single, he spends 126 minutes thinking about finding a woman. If he's married, he spends 118 minutes thinking about his wife. Doesn't say thinking about WHAT in regards to his wife, just that he's thinking about her.

He also spends 101 minutes worrying about money...

Almost an hour thinking about sports.

33 minutes worrying about how he looks and whether he's going bald (HA!)

30 minutes thinking about his mom.

And about 15 minutes thinking about sex.

They didn't say what men are thinking about for their other six or seven waking hours.








BAD NEWS/GOOD NEWS...
Here's the bad news: A new study says that 10% of women always or almost always feel SAD after sex. But here's the good news...that means nine out of ten of us are satisfying the hell out of the ladies, and I like those odds!!

Researchers at the Queensland Institute of Technology in Australia led the study. They found several different reasons why one out of ten women are sad after sex...and it's not always because they're unsatisfied.

Sometimes they feel disconnected from their partner...sometimes they start feeling anxious...sometimes they're guilty (that would be the hoe you brought home from the bar)...and sometimes they're reminded of a traumatic past sexual experience.

The study also found that, overall, 33% of women said they'd been sad after sex at least once in their life.








PROPS TO CUDI...
Cleveland's KID CUDI has announced that he's grown out of smoking marijuana...and he's admitting to this, even though he knows it will disappoint his fans.

He explains, "I don't smoke weed anymore. I'll leave it to the kids. I'm 27 with a business to run and I need to be alert and focused with my mind strong.

"For those who still get it on, smoke one in my memory as your favorite lonely stoner. This is not a joke. I know most of you wanna see me all drugged out and (effed) up and I know misery loves company, but I'm sorry those days are over.

"I had a good run, Amsterdam and all. I'm happy being sober. I'm happy being a new me. Giva (eff) who thinks of me different, you didn't care about me in the first place if you can't be proud and happy for me for growing and starting a new chapter."









CAME ACROSS THIS...
This is really stupid, but if you like cooking in the buff, this list has the potential of saving you A LOT of grief. A website called TheDailyMeal.com came up with a list of foods you should never cook naked. Here are the top four.

#1.) Bacon. Cooking it in a pan is the most dangerous method because grease tends to splatter everywhere. Cooking it in the oven is a little safer, but it'll probably still be crackling, even after you take it out.

Steak is also on the list for basically the same reason.

#2.) Tomato Sauce. It's hard to cook it without letting some splatter on the stove. And if it splatters a few more inches while you're NUDE, you could end up with a very bad burn in a very unfortunate spot.

#3.) Potato Latkes. Here's a good rule of thumb: When you're cooking something in oil, at least wear socks, pants, and a t-shirt.

"Deep fried turkey"...which is really only popular around Thanksgiving...is also on The Daily Meal's list for the same reason.

#4.) Jalepenos and Other Hot Peppers. If you've ever been cooking with peppers and rubbed your eye by mistake, you know it's absolutely excruciating, and the pain can last a long time.
Now imagine how it would feel if you were cooking naked and rubbed something ELSE by mistake.








MTV'S "OMA'S"...
MTV has announced the nominees for their first "O Music Awards", which will celebrate ONLINE music and culture.

The categories include things like: "Must Follow Artist on Twitter", "Best Music Hashtag Meme", "Fan Army FTW", "Best NSFW Music Video", "Best Innovative Music Video" and "Best Fan Forum".

In case you reside under a rock, NSFW is "Not Safe for Work", FTW is "For the Win"...

And a "meme", which rhymes with "cream", is basically any phrase that becomes common Internet slang through repetition. An example of a recent hashtag meme would be "#winning."

For the more conventional categories: Arcade Fire, Robyn, and OK Go are among the artists up for Best Innovative Music Video...and Radiohead, Kanye West and Lady Gaga are among the nominees for Best Innovative Artist.

The nominees for "Fan Army FTW" include: Justin Bieber's Beliebers, Lady Gaga's Little Monsters, Taylor Swift's Taylor Gang, Adam Lambert's Glamberts, and the Rihanna Navy.

You can check out all the nominees at OMusicAwards.tumblr.com. (And if you're really into this nonsense, you can follow the OMA Twitter account for updates. The handle is @MTVOMA.)

The winners will be determined by fan votes. Voting is supposed to begin SOON, The winners will be announced during a live WEBCAST at OMusicAwards.com on April 28th.








SPEAKING OF AWARDS...
The Grammy people have just announced a MAJOR revamp, in which 31 CATEGORIES have been slashed. Next year, the Recording Academy will hand out 78 trophies, as opposed to the ridiculous 109 that were handed out this year.

The top four categories...Best Record, Best Album, Song of the Year and Best New Artist...haven't been changed. But some of the bigger categories have been consolidated.

The most notable change is that they did away with having separate categories for male and female artists. So for instance, the male and female vocal categories were combined into "solo performance" in the pop, R&B, rock and country genres.

After all the cuts, there will now be four R&B awards instead of eight...while country, rock and pop will now have four categories instead of the previous seven. Some other, smaller generes have been merged together.

For example, "Hawaiian music, Native American music and zydeco or Cajun have been folded into the single regional roots music category." Polka, which lost its own category in 2009, is also jammed in there.

And blues and folk will be dropped down to one award each...instead of having separate distinctions for "contemporary" and "traditional."

The president of the Recording Academy said the changes were made to maintain and increase competition...and to enhance the prestige of winning a Grammy.








GWENY GWEN...
NO DOUBT singer GWEN STEFANI says she doesn't play the Slut Card like some of today's female pop stars...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Speaking of KATY PERRY, RIHANNA and LADY GAGA, Gwen says, "I don't see myself in those girls. I usually put pants on.

"I see these girls as more going for the sex-symbol thing. I was more, in the band, like a tomboy. Of course, I think every girl is sexy, so there's going to be a little of that. But I see a lot of younger artists going more toward the sexy thing."








YOUR BOSS DOESN'T WANNA BE YOUR FB FRIEND...
Don't worry that your boss will be UPSET if you're not Facebook friends with him. Or her. Because THEY don't really want YOU seeing their private life either.
Excuse me, I'm headed over to delete John Stewart now...

And back. A new survey found 43% of workers said they feel uncomfortable being connected to their boss on Facebook. Bosses were even LESS into it...47% of bosses said they were uncomfortable being friends with their employees.

As for whether you should be Facebook friends with your co-workers...26% of people said they're even uncomfortable with THAT.

I'm guessing that's just the office gossip types.








FREE MORTGAGES!!
There's a company out there that's willing to PAY YOUR MORTGAGE payments...but you have to agree to let them publicly BRAND you as broke, desperate, and a pariah of the neighborhood.

The company is called Adzookie. And they're offering to pay your mortgage...IF you let them paint your house in bright colors and cover it with ads.

You have to sign up for a minimum of three months and can extend the offer for up to a year. When your contract ends they repaint your house to its original color...and stop making your mortgage payments.

Wondering if anyone's interested? Adzookie quietly launched this offer on their website on Tuesday...and received more than 1,000 applications within hours.

They've only budgeted $100,000 for this program, and each house costs $8,000 just for the paint...so if you want to get in on this, you'd better submit an application now.

Apply here: http://www.adzookie.com/paintmyhouse.php

Also, before you do, make sure your neighborhood and city allow you to paint your house crazy colors and cover it with ads. And you have to own the home...leases and rentals aren't allowed....obviously.







More tomorrow...enjoy your Saturday!