GOT WATER? GOT SUN?

SUNSHINE this Saturday morning. Looks like rain again tonight? One of the rainiest April's EVER...24 days had rain this month! YUCK!
Enjoy the sun while it lasts, and here's some shtuff for when it disappears again...


EATIN' LES CHIKIN...
FLAVOR FLAV is getting out of the fried chicken business in Iowa because of shady accounting practices and outdated potato salad.

I'm sure we all remember exactly where we were earlier this year when we heard of the opening of Flavor Flav's Chicken in Clinton, Iowa. Flav wasn't involved in the running of the place...they just paid him to use his name. Ya know, because Flav is a HUGE deal in the middle-of-nowhere Iowa (???)

But he pulled out last week because he felt that the business was, "not run right."

For starters, employee paychecks were bouncing. The owner chalked it up to a credit card glitch, but Flav's not buying it.

Then there's that potato salad. Flav says, "Let me be straight up with you, I went up inside there on April 2 and I found potato salad that expired on February 28.

"And it's then when I realized I can't do business with this man and I really hope no one ate those potatoes."

But Flav isn't getting out of the food business altogether. He's opening a new joint called Flavor Flav's House of Flavor in Las Vegas on May 30th.

It'll be located at the Riviera Hotel and Casino, and it'll feature a restaurant and bar, Flavor Flav memorabilia for sale...and a recording studio and stage.







PROCRASTINATION...
Don't know if you've heard, but gas costs a GOTT DAMM FORTUNE. And according to Triple-A, it's led to a HUGE number of people procrastinating on filling up their gas tank.

How do they know? Since prices started making huge jumps last month, they've seen an 18% increase in calls from drivers who've run out of gas.









READY FOR ANOTHER RECESSION?
Nobody panic...but we could be headed for a recession. And before you say, "Um, aren't we still in a recession?"...yeah, but this COULD mean things are going to get worse.

Craig Johnson is the president of Consumer Growth Partners. And he says the combination of high gas prices and high food prices could cross a, "tipping point" that would push us back into a brand new recession.

The U.S. has had six recessions since 1970, and all of them except the one after 9/11 happened because energy prices made up more than 6% of people's spending. With gas prices shooting above $4/gallon this week, we've crossed the 6% mark again.

But it's rare that gas prices AND food prices go up at the same time...and that's exactly what's happening now. Johnson says, "[that] creates a harsh double whammy for already-stressed consumers."








FORD KNOWS WHAT YOU LIKE...
Ford just finished a global survey of what car colors people prefer. Yeah, apparently they've got enough money to waste on mindless surveys again.

Anyway, here's what they found...
In New York and Los Angeles, the most popular car colors are GRAY and SILVER.

In San Francisco, WHITE is most popular.

In Boston, BLACK is most popular. (For cars. Not people. KIDDING! Boston's totally diverse and accepting. Everyone's welcome there.)

Here in the Midwest, RED is the most popular.

In Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., and Pittsburgh, GREEN is the most popular. (I have family that sells cars, "you can't GIVE green away for free! Nobody wants it!" here)

In Phoenix and Miami, ORANGE and GOLD are most popular. (Seriously? I'm not moving THERE)

Only one European country has a top color that's not white, black, or silver...the Czech Republic likes blue. Otherwise, they all go for the most basic colors.









I TURNED 25 THIS YEAR...
...and so did this product!
25 years ago, the lives of white people were irreversibly changed for the better.

No, not because I was born. Because in April of 1986, a company called Lifetime Products released the first adjustable basketball hoop. Using only a broomstick, you could instantly move the rim from 10 feet down to, like, six feet, where you and your white friends could dunk.

Since their first adjustable rim debuted in 1986, Lifetime says they've manufactured and sold more than 10 million of them.








MAN ATTACKS GIRLS GONE WILD BUS WHEN NO GIRLS ARE GOING WILD AT BAR
Ahhh, Michigan. Great Lakes and Great Times. But the times were NOT so great for this guy!
On Wednesday night, the GIRLS GONE WILD bus swung through Saginaw, Michigan, to spend the night at a local spot called the Red Horse Bar. A LOT of guys in town were excited about that.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like many GIRLS were too excited.

See, the Girls Gone Wild bus doesn't really bring wild girls along with it. You know that if you've been to any of the NE Ohio bars when they've popped into town. It brings like four cameramen and some t-shirts and trucker hats. They lean on the local girls to handle the wildness.

On Wednesday night in Saginaw, they didn't get a good female response, and the guys who showed up to the bar...and paid a $10 cover...were upset that they didn't get to see ANY casual nudity.

I ALMOST went to Saginaw for a job last year, I'm almost glad I didn't go if there are NO girls going wild!

No one was more upset than a 51-year-old man whose name wasn't released. He's a regular at the Red Horse and was looking forward to the girls going wild.

When that didn't happen, he retaliated by DESTROYING both of the rear-view mirrors on the outside of the bus. That added up to about $1,600 in damage.

There's no word on what charges he's facing.

The owner of the Red Horse Bar says the night was a gigantic disappointment, "full of headaches and a lot of false promises"...and he won't be hosting any Girls Gone Wild events again anytime soon.

I guess the city isn't nicknamed "Sagnasty" for nothing!








APPARENTLY LADIES WANT GUYS TO WEAR EYELINER...WHAT?
Even though a lot of women might never admit it, supposedly they find 'guyliner' ATTRACTIVE.

Sorry to disappoint, call me ugly if you want, you won't catch me in guyliner!

In the study, researchers at Princeton University had men and women rate the attractiveness of different faces.

And they found that women like a guy with a darker look, a five o'clock shadow, well-defined eyebrows...and yes, well-defined eyes. In some of the cases, the eyes were well-defined by eyeliner, and the women liked that look.

Look, these pupils stand out on their own, ok?!

Men tended to like women with red lips and skin that was lighter than average. See? Why do you tan so much? We don't mind if you're pale! That went for all races...so guys liked paler white women, light-skinned black women, and on and on.

And both genders tended to prefer faces that didn't have too much chubbiness on the cheeks or the upper neck.







HIGHER SALARIES IN THE WORKPLACE? NO. FREE FOOD? YES!
Here's a great tip if you run a business and want your employees to start working harder...without having to give out raises, God forbid.

According to a new survey by Staples, the key to productivity is...FREE FOOD! Ya know, my friend Amanda works at a Staples. They don't give their employees free food. She's a total slacker!!

Anyway, 73% of employees said they'd be happier at work if their office had a well-stocked kitchen. 57% believe that if there was more free food, everyone would be more productive.

The survey also estimated that American workers leave the office to get coffee more than 85 million times every year. That's total, not 85 million times per person. But it leads to 10.6 BILLION HOURS of lost productivity a year.








RELEASE DATE RELEASED...
"American Reunion"...the "American Pie" sequel that reunites most of the original cast for the first time since "American Wedding" in 2003...has a release date. It's coming out next April. That's all.








WHAT MOM DOES AND DOESN'T WANT...
Mother's Day is...NEXT WEEKEND! According to a new survey of moms by Buy.com, here are the top three gifts that mothers want...your mileage may vary...
#1.) A day at the spa
#2.) A gift card
#3.) Something homemade

Keep it real here, mom ain't gonna get #3 from anyone! As for the gift that they DON'T want...the number one answer was "flowers."

Now, beyond the gift: 32% of moms said the way they most want to spend Mother's Day is by having a nice family meal out. 30% want to spend time with the family at home.

Of the non-mothers in the survey, only 22% say they plan to spend at least $25 more on a Mother's Day gift this year.








SORRY LADIES...THE HANDYMAN IS DEAD...
Our grandfathers would whip us raw if they knew how many of us have plumbers, electricians, and semi-legal immigrant handymen on speed dial.

The data doesn't lie: A new study has found that today's men aren't even CLOSE to being as handy as men were 40 years ago.

In 1970, 71% of men said they could handle any do-it-yourself project. Today, only 44% of men have that kind of confidence.

There are two main reasons that our handiness is going down. One, as fathers become less handy, the skills aren't getting passed down. And two, over the past few decades, learning technology skills has become far more valuable.

The survey also predicts that at this rate, by 2048, men who can handle any home do-it-yourself project will be EXTINCT.