GOT WATER? GOT SUN?

SUNSHINE this Saturday morning. Looks like rain again tonight? One of the rainiest April's EVER...24 days had rain this month! YUCK!
Enjoy the sun while it lasts, and here's some shtuff for when it disappears again...


EATIN' LES CHIKIN...
FLAVOR FLAV is getting out of the fried chicken business in Iowa because of shady accounting practices and outdated potato salad.

I'm sure we all remember exactly where we were earlier this year when we heard of the opening of Flavor Flav's Chicken in Clinton, Iowa. Flav wasn't involved in the running of the place...they just paid him to use his name. Ya know, because Flav is a HUGE deal in the middle-of-nowhere Iowa (???)

But he pulled out last week because he felt that the business was, "not run right."

For starters, employee paychecks were bouncing. The owner chalked it up to a credit card glitch, but Flav's not buying it.

Then there's that potato salad. Flav says, "Let me be straight up with you, I went up inside there on April 2 and I found potato salad that expired on February 28.

"And it's then when I realized I can't do business with this man and I really hope no one ate those potatoes."

But Flav isn't getting out of the food business altogether. He's opening a new joint called Flavor Flav's House of Flavor in Las Vegas on May 30th.

It'll be located at the Riviera Hotel and Casino, and it'll feature a restaurant and bar, Flavor Flav memorabilia for sale...and a recording studio and stage.







PROCRASTINATION...
Don't know if you've heard, but gas costs a GOTT DAMM FORTUNE. And according to Triple-A, it's led to a HUGE number of people procrastinating on filling up their gas tank.

How do they know? Since prices started making huge jumps last month, they've seen an 18% increase in calls from drivers who've run out of gas.









READY FOR ANOTHER RECESSION?
Nobody panic...but we could be headed for a recession. And before you say, "Um, aren't we still in a recession?"...yeah, but this COULD mean things are going to get worse.

Craig Johnson is the president of Consumer Growth Partners. And he says the combination of high gas prices and high food prices could cross a, "tipping point" that would push us back into a brand new recession.

The U.S. has had six recessions since 1970, and all of them except the one after 9/11 happened because energy prices made up more than 6% of people's spending. With gas prices shooting above $4/gallon this week, we've crossed the 6% mark again.

But it's rare that gas prices AND food prices go up at the same time...and that's exactly what's happening now. Johnson says, "[that] creates a harsh double whammy for already-stressed consumers."








FORD KNOWS WHAT YOU LIKE...
Ford just finished a global survey of what car colors people prefer. Yeah, apparently they've got enough money to waste on mindless surveys again.

Anyway, here's what they found...
In New York and Los Angeles, the most popular car colors are GRAY and SILVER.

In San Francisco, WHITE is most popular.

In Boston, BLACK is most popular. (For cars. Not people. KIDDING! Boston's totally diverse and accepting. Everyone's welcome there.)

Here in the Midwest, RED is the most popular.

In Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., and Pittsburgh, GREEN is the most popular. (I have family that sells cars, "you can't GIVE green away for free! Nobody wants it!" here)

In Phoenix and Miami, ORANGE and GOLD are most popular. (Seriously? I'm not moving THERE)

Only one European country has a top color that's not white, black, or silver...the Czech Republic likes blue. Otherwise, they all go for the most basic colors.









I TURNED 25 THIS YEAR...
...and so did this product!
25 years ago, the lives of white people were irreversibly changed for the better.

No, not because I was born. Because in April of 1986, a company called Lifetime Products released the first adjustable basketball hoop. Using only a broomstick, you could instantly move the rim from 10 feet down to, like, six feet, where you and your white friends could dunk.

Since their first adjustable rim debuted in 1986, Lifetime says they've manufactured and sold more than 10 million of them.








MAN ATTACKS GIRLS GONE WILD BUS WHEN NO GIRLS ARE GOING WILD AT BAR
Ahhh, Michigan. Great Lakes and Great Times. But the times were NOT so great for this guy!
On Wednesday night, the GIRLS GONE WILD bus swung through Saginaw, Michigan, to spend the night at a local spot called the Red Horse Bar. A LOT of guys in town were excited about that.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like many GIRLS were too excited.

See, the Girls Gone Wild bus doesn't really bring wild girls along with it. You know that if you've been to any of the NE Ohio bars when they've popped into town. It brings like four cameramen and some t-shirts and trucker hats. They lean on the local girls to handle the wildness.

On Wednesday night in Saginaw, they didn't get a good female response, and the guys who showed up to the bar...and paid a $10 cover...were upset that they didn't get to see ANY casual nudity.

I ALMOST went to Saginaw for a job last year, I'm almost glad I didn't go if there are NO girls going wild!

No one was more upset than a 51-year-old man whose name wasn't released. He's a regular at the Red Horse and was looking forward to the girls going wild.

When that didn't happen, he retaliated by DESTROYING both of the rear-view mirrors on the outside of the bus. That added up to about $1,600 in damage.

There's no word on what charges he's facing.

The owner of the Red Horse Bar says the night was a gigantic disappointment, "full of headaches and a lot of false promises"...and he won't be hosting any Girls Gone Wild events again anytime soon.

I guess the city isn't nicknamed "Sagnasty" for nothing!








APPARENTLY LADIES WANT GUYS TO WEAR EYELINER...WHAT?
Even though a lot of women might never admit it, supposedly they find 'guyliner' ATTRACTIVE.

Sorry to disappoint, call me ugly if you want, you won't catch me in guyliner!

In the study, researchers at Princeton University had men and women rate the attractiveness of different faces.

And they found that women like a guy with a darker look, a five o'clock shadow, well-defined eyebrows...and yes, well-defined eyes. In some of the cases, the eyes were well-defined by eyeliner, and the women liked that look.

Look, these pupils stand out on their own, ok?!

Men tended to like women with red lips and skin that was lighter than average. See? Why do you tan so much? We don't mind if you're pale! That went for all races...so guys liked paler white women, light-skinned black women, and on and on.

And both genders tended to prefer faces that didn't have too much chubbiness on the cheeks or the upper neck.







HIGHER SALARIES IN THE WORKPLACE? NO. FREE FOOD? YES!
Here's a great tip if you run a business and want your employees to start working harder...without having to give out raises, God forbid.

According to a new survey by Staples, the key to productivity is...FREE FOOD! Ya know, my friend Amanda works at a Staples. They don't give their employees free food. She's a total slacker!!

Anyway, 73% of employees said they'd be happier at work if their office had a well-stocked kitchen. 57% believe that if there was more free food, everyone would be more productive.

The survey also estimated that American workers leave the office to get coffee more than 85 million times every year. That's total, not 85 million times per person. But it leads to 10.6 BILLION HOURS of lost productivity a year.








RELEASE DATE RELEASED...
"American Reunion"...the "American Pie" sequel that reunites most of the original cast for the first time since "American Wedding" in 2003...has a release date. It's coming out next April. That's all.








WHAT MOM DOES AND DOESN'T WANT...
Mother's Day is...NEXT WEEKEND! According to a new survey of moms by Buy.com, here are the top three gifts that mothers want...your mileage may vary...
#1.) A day at the spa
#2.) A gift card
#3.) Something homemade

Keep it real here, mom ain't gonna get #3 from anyone! As for the gift that they DON'T want...the number one answer was "flowers."

Now, beyond the gift: 32% of moms said the way they most want to spend Mother's Day is by having a nice family meal out. 30% want to spend time with the family at home.

Of the non-mothers in the survey, only 22% say they plan to spend at least $25 more on a Mother's Day gift this year.








SORRY LADIES...THE HANDYMAN IS DEAD...
Our grandfathers would whip us raw if they knew how many of us have plumbers, electricians, and semi-legal immigrant handymen on speed dial.

The data doesn't lie: A new study has found that today's men aren't even CLOSE to being as handy as men were 40 years ago.

In 1970, 71% of men said they could handle any do-it-yourself project. Today, only 44% of men have that kind of confidence.

There are two main reasons that our handiness is going down. One, as fathers become less handy, the skills aren't getting passed down. And two, over the past few decades, learning technology skills has become far more valuable.

The survey also predicts that at this rate, by 2048, men who can handle any home do-it-yourself project will be EXTINCT.

STICKY SATURDAY

Highs into the 70's today but it'll be a muggy one.
Here's a BUNCH of stuff!




WE SHARE EVERYTHING ON FACEBOOK...ALMOST!
Facebook has made us into a world of OVERSHARERS. In a new survey, an employment website called Glassdoor.com wanted to see if there's ANYTHING that most people are reluctant to share online.

And they found there are only TWO things that we all agree are not for sharing online. Those are...details about your SEX LIFE and details about your SALARY.

Only 2% of Americans said they were comfortable sharing either of those.

I could probably point you in the direction of some folks who ARE in that 2%, but I won't...

Nothing else was close...although a good number of people also said they were reluctant to share their kid's activities and their household purchases.

The survey also found that 18- to 34-year-olds are most likely to share info about their relationships and jobs...women are most likely to share relationship details, vacation photos, and shopping photos...and Northeasterners share the least.









HEY FOREIGN PEOPLE...SUCK IT! WE'RE FRIENDLY!
Here's a message to all the other countries out there who say Americans are rude and obnoxious...EFF YOU. We're super, super nice, you a-holes. And we have the data to prove it.

According to a new global survey by HSBC Bank and "Forbes", the U.S. is the FOURTH friendliest country in the world.

The only countries that beat the U.S. were Canada, Bermuda, and South Africa.

The rankings were based on four factors: How easy it is for foreigners to befriend locals...success in learning the local language...capacity to integrate into the community...and the ease of fitting in to the foreign culture.

The full top 10 goes: Canada, Bermuda, South Africa, U.S., Australia, Spain, France, United Kingdom, Malaysia, and Germany.

As for the least-friendly countries...of the places included in the study, Qatar got the lowest score. It was just below Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Switzerland, and India.









THIS WON'T GET HER TO GO HOME WITH YOU...
Last week, a 21-year-old man was at a bar in Destin, Florida. His name hasn't been released, but it was 2:20 A.M., and he wanted to pick up a woman before the night was over.

So he started trying to talk to a 21-year-old. Her name wasn't released either, but we do know that she wasn't interested and wouldn't talk to him. Which was a great instinct on her part, because the guy turned out to be QUITE the gentlemen.

He was so upset that she was rejecting him that he got belligerent, loud...and then PUNCHED the woman in the FACE!!! He gave her an uppercut that left bruising and swelling on her chin.

Whatcha bet he had an Ed Hardy shirt on? Affliction?

The man was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery.








DUN DUN DUN...
KRAYZIE BONE has QUIT BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY...and the other guys are NOT happy about it.

Flesh-n-Bone and Layzie Bone tell TMZ that Krayzie is a, quote "dumb (eff)" for leaving the group, because Bone "made him who he is."

Flesh adds, "Krayzie might as well say '(Eff) Eazy-E' because he is disrespecting Eazy-E's legacy by leaving the group." (The late Eazy-E discovered Bone back in the early '90s.)

Bone will go on without Krayzie, and they say they will welcome him back if he chooses to return.








HOOVER PULLS THEIR ADS FROM ABC...
Last week, ABC announced that they're killing their soap operas "All My Children" and "One Life to Live".

But some people think there's a chance they could be revived, since nothing ever REALLY dies in the soap opera world. (Except their audiences??)

And get this: The crusade to resuscitate the soaps is being led by HOOVER! Yep, the vacuum company started right here in North Canton. Not only is this NOT a joke, but Hoover is playing some serious hardball.

Hoover's VP of Marketing Brian Kirkendall is so "disappointed" that ABC has canceled the soaps...that Hoover will be yanking their ads from ABC. The Hoover spots will be pulled ASAP...and all of them will be gone by this Friday.

His aggressive response could have something to do with the fact that his wife and mother are "passionate" fans of both shows...as are some of his friends at Hoover.

He's set up an email address to, "help pull together the mass emotional outpouring of support," and he will forward the fan responses to ABC. And he's also ranting about the canceled soaps on Hoover's Facebook page.

he email is SaveTheSoaps@Hoover.com...and the Facebook link is: Facebook.com/Hoover. ABC has not responded to this.








STRESSED OUT? MIGHT BE YOUR CHOICE OF CAREER!
Unlike air traffic controllers, pilots actually HAVE to stay awake when they have your life...and their own life...in their hands. And going without a nap like that is really stressful.

The website CareerCast.com just put out its annual report on the top 10 most and least stressful jobs of the year...and commercial airline pilot was named the number one most stressful job.

In general, the jobs on the high stress list are ones that are dangerous, intense, filled with crisis situations, high-pressure, or some combination of those. The low stress jobs are ones that have very little danger and minimal physical demand.

The least stressful career of 2011 is...audiologist. If you don't know, that's someone who diagnoses and treats hearing disorders.

The top 10 least stressful jobs are: Audiologist . . . dietitian . . . software engineer . . . computer programmer . . . dental hygienist . . . speech pathologist . . . philosopher . . . mathematician . . . occupational therapist . . . and chiropractor.

The top 10 MOST stressful are: Commercial airline pilot . . . PR executive . . . senior corporate executive . . . photojournalist . . . newscaster . . . advertising account exec . . . architect . . . stockbroker . . . EMT . . . and real estate agent.







BLAME IT ON THE BIRD. THE BIRD IS THE WORD...
On Sunday afternoon, outside of Toronto, police spotted a 58-year-old woman swerving down the street, continuously honking her horn.

They tried to pull the woman over but she kept swerving...and crashed into a CITY BUS.

That brought her car to a stop, and fortunately, no one was hurt. And when the police went over to the woman's car, they found something strange...she was HALF NAKED.

Tragically, no reports have said whether it was the top half or the bottom half. Or why she was naked in the middle of a Sunday afternoon.

The woman wasn't drunk or speeding...no, she told the cops she lost control of the car because her PET BIRD got loose inside and was flying around like crazy.

She was arrested for reckless driving. The bird is being cared for by the humane society.







NICKI MINAJ...
Rockin' the LAPDANCE! Yummy
http://www.tmz.com/2011/04/20/nicki-minaj-grinds-on-nba-superstar-steve-nash/







JUSTIN IS LOSING HIS HAIR...
Yep, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE...the guy that 99% of ladies wanna bang. I hafta tell ya, this makes me feel better about my hair that's slowly crawling back on my head!

There's a reason Justin keeps his head well-shorn these days: HE'S LOSING HIS HAIR.

"In Touch Weekly" says Justin keeps his hair short so people won't notice he's going bald. In the meantime, he's using, "specially formulated shampoo to promote hair growth."








STUFF COSTING MORE?
There were some new numbers last Friday about the Consumer Price Index...that's a measurement of the overall price of household goods. According to the new stats, it's gone up 2.7% in the last year.

And the price of gas...which has gone up 28% in the last year...is just the tip of the iceberg. Here are ten other things that either ALREADY cost more, or are ABOUT to cost more.

#1.) Plane Tickets. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, domestic fares went up 22% between August and February, mostly because of gas prices.

#2.) Insurance. State Farm just announced an average rate hike of 18.8% for homeowners in Florida, so we can assume they'll do the same thing everywhere else soon. And Allstate has been raising rates for auto insurance too.

#3.) Chocolate. Late last month, Hersey's raised its wholesale prices by almost 10%. The prices in most stores haven't gone up yet, but they will in May or June.

#4.) Coffee. The price of coffee jumped 27% between December and March, and companies like Starbucks, Folgers, and Dunkin' Donuts have all started charging more.

#5.) Fast Food. McDonald's is raising prices this year because the cost of ingredients is going up. And Wendy's says they expect to pay 15% more for beef in 2011. So expect the price of a burger to go up at basically EVERY restaurant.

#6.) Produce. Even when you take the growing season into account, the price of fruit and vegetables has gone up an astounding 23% in the last three months. Bananas are up 10%, and potatoes are up 39%.

#7.) Furniture. Companies like Ethan Allen and La-Z-Boy are charging up to 7% more because the prices of cotton, yarn, leather, and steel have gone up.

#8.) Juice. Last month, Tropicana announced they'll be charging 4 to 8% more for some types of juice, because cold weather damaged citrus crops in Florida. And Minute Maid is doing the exact same thing.

#9.) Soft Drinks. The price of carbonated drinks went up by 14% between December and March, mainly because of higher costs for ingredients, packaging, and transportation.

#10.) Tires. Between September and March, U.S. tire prices climbed 6%, and last month Cooper Tires raised their prices for the second time this year.

When they announced the price hike, the company said the price for rubber had gone up 75% in just a few months.








IT'S NOT THE WRONG SIZE, IT LOOKS GREAT...
I had no idea so many women walk around HATING the way their lady parts look. Especially since, when a guy actually earns his way down there, the LAST thing he cares about is how picturesque the view is.

But that's not stopping the self-loathing. According to a survey, 89% of women, or eight out of nine, say they don't think their lady-junk is attractive, sexy or beautiful. And more than 57% think their stuff is the IMPROPER SIZE.

There's a new photography book out called "I'll Show You Mine" that features shockingly close-up photos of women down there.

The photographer says the goal is to show women that, quote, "[the] stunning diversity and beauty of the female vulva does not abide by the unrealistic ideal of a neat clamshell propelled by mass media and mainstream pornography."








ARKANSAS MORE ADVANCED THAN US?
When it comes to the states with the most households that aren't using landline phones anymore, numbers one and two are Arkansas and Mississippi.

That means they're more technologically advanced than the rest of us and rely on their cell phones...or that even landline technology hasn't reached them and they're using two tin cans on a string.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 35.2% of people ages 18 and older in Arkansas live in households that don't have a landline. For Mississippi, it's 35.1%.

The rest of the states where more than 30% of people are in non-landline households are: Texas, North Dakota, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon, Colorado, Nebraska, and Oklahoma.

As for people who are still using their home phones, New Jersey and Rhode Island are the leaders. Only 12.8% of people in each of those states lives in a household without a landline.

The rest of the states where less than 20% of people live without landlines are: Connecticut, South Dakota, New Hampshire, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, New York, California, Maryland, Montana, and Alaska.








I KNEW IT!!
Bad news, Purell junkies. According to the FDA, you're wasting your time.

Sure, hand sanitizers do kill SOME germs...but when it comes to protecting you against the biggest antibiotic-resistant infections, they fall way short. That includes things like E. coli, salmonella, H1N1, staph infections...and even the flu.

On their website, the FDA wrote, "Consumers are being misled if they think these products you can buy in a drug store...will protect them from a potentially deadly infection. The FDA has not approved any [of these] products."

They say that washing your hands with warm water and soap for 20 seconds is still their recommended method for avoiding bacterial and viral infections.







YOU STAY CLASSY, SANDUSKY...
For one brief moment in time on Tuesday, 19-year-old Andrea Musser of Perkins Township, near Sandusky, was the homecoming queen, belle of the ball, and Girl Gone Wild all at the same time. That moment of glory ended very quickly, though.

On Tuesday night, Andrea went to visit a friend of hers at a jail in Erie County. As she left, she stood outside the jail...and lifted up her shirt to FLASH HIM...and I'm guessing every other inmate who was lucky enough to be watching.

Unfortunately, jail personnel were also watching...and Andrea was arrested and charged with public indecency and trespassing. She got a 10-day suspended sentence and a $223 fine. LOL!








INCREASE YOUR SEX APPEAL...
A sense of humor is one of the most important things people look for when they're dating. So to help users find people they're comically compatible with, Match.com came up with a list of the ten different types of humor.

You'll fall into at least one of these categories, but hopefully a few.

#1.) Laugh-At-Life Humor. According to Match.com, people with this type of sense of humor tend to like the kind of satire and fake news you'd find in "The Onion".

Basically, they don't take life too seriously, and look for the absurdity in situations.

#2.) Bonding-In-The-Moment Humor. This type of person uses humor to bond with people. And their jokes are usually good-natured rather than insulting. So it's a good type of humor to use on dates.

#3.) Slapstick Humor. This one's pretty straightforward: If your favorite movie of all time is "Airplane" or you've seen every episode of "The Three Stooges", then you're probably a fan of slapstick.

#4.) Sarcastic Humor. This type of person enjoys dark, scathing jokes, like what you'd find on "The Daily Show".

Sarcasm on a first date can be tricky. So Match.com says you should use it in small doses, and always pair it with an appropriate facial expression or tone of voice.

#5.) Self-Deprecating Humor. Chris Farley and John Belushi are two of the most famous self-deprecating comedians. And in small doses, it's endearing. But if you overuse it...especially on a date...you'll seem like you have bad self-esteem.

#6.) Deadpan Humor. If you crack people up without smiling or even raising an eyebrow, you have a deadpan sense of humor. The only problem is, your jokes can fall flat because people don't REALIZE you're joking.

#7.) Highbrow Humor. It's like what you might read in "The New Yorker", and it's a great style of humor on dates...as long as your date knows all the obscure references you're making.

But if you ONLY have a highbrow sense of humor, you can come across as a know-it-all.

#8.) Insult Comedy. If you loved Perez Hilton BEFORE he decided to stop bullying celebrities, this is you. And if you find the right person, you can sit on the couch and rip on people all day.

But it's a very negative style of humor. So it won't go over well on a date unless you know for sure that the person loves making fun of people too.

#9.) Cultural References. People who use this style of humor know a movie quote for every situation in life. The problem is when they talk to someone who's not up on pop culture like they are, their jokes don't make sense.

#10.) Bathroom Humor. If you like gross jokes and jokes about bodily fluids, then you like bathroom humor. Most people do on SOME level, but if you're over the age of 13 and ONLY make bathroom jokes, people will just think you're a moron.








And now...you're armed with proper knowledge...go forth into your weekend! Hoppy Easter!

NAME AT YOUR OWN RISK

...oh? I won't name it then. I'm not feeling ultra risky this morning.
It's Thursday. Here's a buncha shtuff....





YOUR DRINK OF CHOICE FOR THIRSTY THURSDAY...
A new Harris poll surveyed the country to rank America's most popular drinks. And the verdict is...BEER. 63% of us say we drink beer, "at least several times a year." Here's the full list...

#1.) Beer, 63%
#2.) Domestic wine, 54%
#3.) Vodka, 41%
#4.) Rum, 34%
#5.) Tequila, 28%
#6.) Imported wine, 28%
#7.) Foreign whiskey (Canadian, Irish), 20%
#8.) Champagne, 17%
#9.) Cordials and liqueurs, 17%
#10.) Bourbon, 15%
#11.) Gin, 14%
#12.) Scotch, 11%
#13.) Cognac, 8%
#14.) Brandy/Armagnac, 7%
#15.) Other, 6%

Here are a few more findings from the poll...
Men are most likely to drink beer. Women are most likely to drink domestic wine. No surprise there.

Three-quarters of men drink beer several times a year, versus half of women.

Two-thirds of women drink domestic wine several times a year, versus less than half of men.

Men are four times more likely to drink bourbon or scotch than women.

The most common drinking frequency in the country is at least once a week, at 29%. Next most is "I never drink" at 25%. At least once a month is third, at 20%. And...6% of people say they drink EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Men are more likely to drink daily than women, 7% to 3%.









LIKE VAMPIRES? GO TO MAINE!
A new website monitored 21 online dating sites to see what keywords different single people use in different parts of the country. For example, people in Houston want "rich entrepreneurs"...in Maine, they want "unmanly vampires."

The site's organization is pretty clunky, but it's still a pretty cool way to see the dating trends in your area and how they compare to the rest of the state and country. Check out the maps at http://perfect.lukedubois.com/









PHONE FROM POTTY...
When you're talking with someone on the phone, and suddenly it sounds a little more echo-y on their end, do you think...did they just go into the bathroom? Or when you suddenly hear flushing water?

In a new survey, 56% of Americans admitted to using their cell phones in the bathroom. And we say "admitted" because we STRONGLY suspect there are some people who lied.

Of the people who take their phones to the can, 70% make calls, 62% text, 20% listen to music, 19% check Facebook and Twitter...and 7% actually pull up something on their phone to read.

I can honestly say...I've been guilty of ALL of those at some point or another!








YOU SHOULD ALSO GO TO MAINE IF YOU WANT PEACE...
In a new study, a think tank called the Institute for Economics and Peace ranked all 50 U.S. states based on how peaceful they are. Which is a good thing or a bad thing, I guess...depending on your feelings toward hippies. (???)

The study was based on factors like homicide rates, the percentage of the population in jail, the availability of guns, the number of police officers, and the overall crime rate.

And the basic conclusion is...the Northeast is peaceful. HELL YEAH we are!! And the South is gonna kill you. Bastards.

Maine was named the most peaceful state in the country, and five of the top 10 most peaceful states are in New England.

The top 10 goes: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Minnesota, North Dakota, Utah, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Iowa, and Washington.

Louisiana was named the least peaceful state, and it's joined in the bottom 10 by a LOT of other Southern states: At least six, and up to eight if you count Tennessee and Oklahoma as Southern states.

The bottom 10 goes: Louisiana, Tennessee, Nevada, Florida, Alabama, Texas, Arkansas, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Maryland.

The good news in all of this is that according to the study, the U.S. on the whole has become significantly more peaceful over the past 15 years...mostly thanks to a big decrease in homicides and violent crimes.








MARRIED WOMEN ARE HAPPIER...
According to a new study, women might CONVINCE themselves that they're happy living with their mantoy and not getting married...but until they get a ring and a piece of paper that says "marriage certificate" on it, they're secretly depressed. Yep, they needed a study to figure that out.

Researchers at the University of Cologne (LOL?) in Germany studied more than 22,000 women around the world, and found that in every country, married women were ultimately happier than unmarried women who live with their guy.

And they believe married women are happier because ultimately, society STILL disapproves of unmarried couples who live together.

They did find that in countries where cohabitation is more popular, there's less of a happiness difference between married and unmarried women.

So places like England, Sweden, and the Netherlands had smaller happiness differences between married and cohabitating women than more traditional countries like Mexico, Brazil, Bulgaria...and the U.S.


BUT...

In theory, moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend for financial reasons is probably not the smartest move. But whatever. This is America. You can do what you want.

And if you are doing it for financial reasons, according to Mint.com, as a couple living together, you'll spend 41% MORE than a single person. But since you're both contributing, that means you'll both spend 30% less than if you lived apart.









WHICH CAR HAS THE WORST REPUTATION?
When you think of a Fiat, you may think of them as the crappy cars that are a plague all over Europe.

Well, the Fiat is back in the U.S. And we already hate it.

Very quietly this year, the 2012 Fiat 500 subcompact car went on sale in America. Chrysler owns Fiat, and they've been selling it.

And in a new study of the American car market, the car brand that got the lowest scores for reputation is...Fiat.

Apparently, we have long memories. Even though very few people knew Fiat was back in the U.S., we only associate the brand with its mediocre '70s fleet. In fact, the new Fiats are apparently pretty decent.

Other car brands that scored just better than Fiat are Suzuki, Smart Car, Dodge, Chrysler, Kia, and Jeep.

Volkswagen, Audi, Acura, BMW, and Lexus got the highest scores for having the best reputations.

Really? That's my only comment.










DAILY DUMBASS!!
It's been a minute since our last DD story!
Yeah...this burglar is going to end up dead one day. Because he clearly doesn't understand the downside of high risk, low reward crimes.

On Saturday morning, a man broke into the LION HOUSE at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. He used a ladder to cross the TIGER moat and broke into the tiger enclosure.

Luckily for him, there weren't any lions or tigers there at the time. They'd been moved out of the public areas and into a secure area for the night. But there was a CHANCE that there'd be lions and tigers there, which makes this insanely high risk.

And what did this guy steal? Some walkie-talkies and pepper spray. The value was estimated around $3,500...but that REALLY doesn't seem like a worthwhile prize for breaking into an area of the zoo that could've been filled with lions and tigers.

Police are still searching for the burglar.








HEY FB! EASIER PRIVACY SETTINGS?
According to a new study, almost none of us have ANY IDEA what we are and aren't making public on our Facebook profiles.

Researchers at Columbia University surveyed students...and 93% of them were publicly sharing something they thought was private. 84.6% were hiding something they wanted to share.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the survey fell into one or both of those categories. Which means ZERO PERCENT completely understood exactly what they were sharing and hiding on Facebook.

The researchers say the problem isn't with us...it's with Facebook. They make their privacy settings incredibly confusing, which makes it almost impossible to set your privacy the way you want it. I'm 99.9% sure mine is the way I want it? Perhaps I should check...

Which of course leads to the conclusion: DON'T TRUST FACEBOOK. If you have something you think should be private, it's best not to have it online at all.







NAKIE CELEBS:
ASHLEY TISDALE, BRIDGET MOYNAHAN, KERI HILSON and KALEY CUOCO get NAKED in the new issue of "Allure" magazine.

***SEE THE PICS HERE: http://www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage***

Ashley says she did it to let people know she's not a little Disney kid anymore "I'm 25, almost 26, but people think of me as much younger because I look young.

"Being in this shoot was me saying, 'I'm not just the young girl everybody thinks I am. I'm actually a woman.'"

I honestly thought she was like 21!

Kaley says, "I have not told my family about this, and I'll tell you why: Until they see the photos, they won't understand.

"When I told my mom about the shoot, I left out the part about taking my clothes off. I was way more excited than I ever thought I would be. Which made me realize, I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I thought."

AGAIN, PICS HERE: http://www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage







LUPE FIASCO IS BETTER THAN YOU...
In the upcoming issue of "XXL" magazine, which comes out in two weeks, LUPE FIASCO boasts about his lyrical prowess.

He says, "I can actually make the argument, seriously, that, Yo, I'm better than all y'all. You have people who can say that. Jay-Z can say that. Eminem can say that. Canibus can say that...if we are going line for line.

"If you want to relate me to the newer cats, let's go. Let's go line for line and bar for bar. If it's all about spitting and metaphors and MCing and lyrics and entendres, I will eat 99% of you dudes up."








MICHELLE IS IN!
ALYSON HANNIGAN has officially signed on for the latest "American Pie" sequel, "American Reunion". As the title implies, this one reunites the original cast. Or at least that's the plan.

Last we heard, JASON BIGGS, SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT and EUGENE LEVY had all signed on.

Deals are also in the works with Tara Reid, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Chris Klein, Mena Suvari and Stifler's Mom herself, Jennifer Coolidge.

It's not clear if any of them have officially signed on yet, or if any other cast members...like Eddie Kaye Thomas, Shannon Elizabeth or Natasha Lyonne...are returning.








SMASH THAT SUMBITCH!!!
Good to see that even in today's awful work climate, there are plenty of office workers who are still firmly devoted to beating the system. Literally. Beating the system.

According to a new survey, 13% of office workers say that if they really wanted their company to replace their old computer with a new one, they think the quickest way to make it happen would be...SMASHING their computer.

7% of people would try buying parts and upgrading their computer themselves.

4% would put in a request saying they needed a computer to be set up for a new co-worker, and hope no one realized it wasn't true.

And 20% said they'd take their computer to a store and trade it in for a new one...THEN tell their boss or the I.T. department about it.

Added up, that means almost HALF of workers think that the best way to get a new computer at work is by taking care of things on their own.

Only 37% of people said they'd go about things by the book...filing a request with their manager demonstrating why they need a new machine and how much it would improve their work.








THIS *SHOULD* PISS YOU OFF...
...wait, on second thought. NO, it shouldn't! I like seeing the oil companies coughing up some cash!
BP has paid more than $754 MILLION to state and city governments in the Gulf Coast region because of the oil spill. The money came with almost no strings attached...just that it had to be loosely tied to recovering from the spill.

And the governments that got the money REALLY took that whole "loosely tied to the recovery" thing seriously. Here are some of the things that they've purchased...

Biloxi, Mississippi bought 14 SUVs and pickup trucks, two boats, two dump trucks, and a backhoe loader.

A $35,000 2011 Chevy Tahoe went to the mayor of Biloxi so he could get to, quote, "countless meetings" about the oil spill.

Ocean Spring, Mississippi bought Tasers for all of their reserve police officers...it's not clear how that was related to the spill.

In one Florida county, which was kept anonymous, $14,000 went to the county commissioner's girlfriend so she could open up a PR firm to spread good news about the area.

The head of the Lafourche, Louisiana parish bought herself a top-of-the-line iPad because, "I must be in contact at all times." Her spokesman got a $3,165 Dell computer because work on the spill wore out his one-year-old computer.

Florida spent $560,000 on three concerts...Kenny Loggins, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and the Doobie Brothers. They played on Okaloosa Island to show that the spill hadn't ruined tourism in the area. Or whatever. Let's hear "Danger Zone!"

I'M SORRY MS. JACKSON...

I am for REAL!
Herrrrrre's some shtuff....


S-S-S & M-M-M
RIHANNA doesn't just appear on the cover of the new "Rolling Stone" in painted-on shorts. She also gave them a pretty candid interview, in which she revealed her preferences in the bedroom. Not surprisingly, she's a little kinky. Chains and whips DO excite her! Well, sort of...

She says, "I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned [because] you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I'd rather have him use his hands."

She adds, "Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge...That's sexy to me."

Rihanna is also a bit of a masochist outside the bedroom...and that's not always such a good thing. She says, "It's not something I'm proud of, and it's not something I noticed until recently.

"I think it's common for people who witness abuse in their household. They can never smell how beautiful a rose is unless they get pricked by a thorn."

Obviously, that's our segue into the part of the interview where Rihanna discusses CHRIS BROWN. First off, she addressed easing the restraining order that's been in place since he assaulted her in February of 2009.

She said, "You can never please people. One minute I'm being too hard, and the next minute I'm a fool because I'm not being hard enough.

"It doesn't mean we're gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn't want to object to the judge."

Rihanna says she's not jumping back into any kind of relationship with Chris...but at the same time, she's not interested in punishing him anymore, either.

"We don't have to talk again ever in my life. I just didn't want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did to me was a personal thing. It had nothing to do with his career.

"Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can't perform at awards shows, that definitely made it difficult for him. That was the only thing it was going to change, so I didn't care."

Rihanna admits she kept her emotions in check after the Chris Brown incident..."I put my guard up so hard...I didn't want people to see me cry. I didn't want people to feel bad for me.

"It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, 'I'm fine, I'm tough.' I put that up until it felt real."










WOMEN ON FACEBOOK? THEY HATE THEIR FACEBOOK FRIENDS...
Here's more proof that your Facebook friends aren't really your friends. Because, odds are...you secretly HATE them. At least if you're a woman.

A new survey of 400 women (not many) found that 83%, or more than four out of five, admit they've kinda grown to HATE most of their Facebook friends. And these are the reasons why...

65% say their friends share too many boring or pointless updates too often.

63% say their friends complain all the time.

46% say their friends "like" too many posts.

41% say their friends use Facebook inappropriately, or too frequently, to promote political or social causes.

40% say their friends use Facebook to clearly provide false info or images that show off a perfect life.

LOL ^That one makes me laugh. "What the hell, I KNOW her life is actually in shambles, she should be showing THAT!"

And 16% say their friends post too many photos of their damn kids.

The survey also found that 61% of women say they're Facebook friends with a drama queen . . . 35% are friends with a "frenemy" . . . and 26% are friends with someone who always puts up airbrushed or touched-up photos.

Ya know what bugs me? People who put photoshopped pics up. Be it black and white, or that have all kinds of stupid artsy crap on them...









UM...
This is a completely random study out of the University of North Carolina...but, I guess, it should help you the next time you're at Macy's and trying to get the attention of those super sexy employees at the cologne counter.

Researchers at UNC found that people will think you're more IMPRESSIVE if they see you riding UP an escalator or walking UP a flight of stairs than if they see you walking DOWN. No, really.

They believe the reason is that we subconsciously link height to power. So when someone sees you moving upward, it gives a slight illusion that you're getting taller...which makes you more impressive.

Is that true? Ever saw someone riding up an escalator and said 'Oh, I GOTTA have it!?'







AHHH, BASEBALL SEASON...
And hey, you've GOTTA love the TRIBE starting off 5-2 as of this writing! Check out the salaries of MLB teams. A-Rod makes as much as the ENTIRE KC Royals squad: http://www.thespread.com/mlb-news/033111-2011-baseball-payrolls-list







SEE, WE AREN'T PERVS!!
You know that old catchphrase that men think about sex every seven seconds? According to a new survey, men are a LOT less perverted than that. I mean...it's not even close.

Head & Shoulders (really? of all organizations...) surveyed 5,000 men and they found that men actually only think about sex every TWO HOURS. Here's how the average guy's day breaks down...

He spends 177 minutes a day worrying about his job.

If he's single, he spends 126 minutes thinking about finding a woman. If he's married, he spends 118 minutes thinking about his wife. Doesn't say thinking about WHAT in regards to his wife, just that he's thinking about her.

He also spends 101 minutes worrying about money...

Almost an hour thinking about sports.

33 minutes worrying about how he looks and whether he's going bald (HA!)

30 minutes thinking about his mom.

And about 15 minutes thinking about sex.

They didn't say what men are thinking about for their other six or seven waking hours.








BAD NEWS/GOOD NEWS...
Here's the bad news: A new study says that 10% of women always or almost always feel SAD after sex. But here's the good news...that means nine out of ten of us are satisfying the hell out of the ladies, and I like those odds!!

Researchers at the Queensland Institute of Technology in Australia led the study. They found several different reasons why one out of ten women are sad after sex...and it's not always because they're unsatisfied.

Sometimes they feel disconnected from their partner...sometimes they start feeling anxious...sometimes they're guilty (that would be the hoe you brought home from the bar)...and sometimes they're reminded of a traumatic past sexual experience.

The study also found that, overall, 33% of women said they'd been sad after sex at least once in their life.








PROPS TO CUDI...
Cleveland's KID CUDI has announced that he's grown out of smoking marijuana...and he's admitting to this, even though he knows it will disappoint his fans.

He explains, "I don't smoke weed anymore. I'll leave it to the kids. I'm 27 with a business to run and I need to be alert and focused with my mind strong.

"For those who still get it on, smoke one in my memory as your favorite lonely stoner. This is not a joke. I know most of you wanna see me all drugged out and (effed) up and I know misery loves company, but I'm sorry those days are over.

"I had a good run, Amsterdam and all. I'm happy being sober. I'm happy being a new me. Giva (eff) who thinks of me different, you didn't care about me in the first place if you can't be proud and happy for me for growing and starting a new chapter."









CAME ACROSS THIS...
This is really stupid, but if you like cooking in the buff, this list has the potential of saving you A LOT of grief. A website called TheDailyMeal.com came up with a list of foods you should never cook naked. Here are the top four.

#1.) Bacon. Cooking it in a pan is the most dangerous method because grease tends to splatter everywhere. Cooking it in the oven is a little safer, but it'll probably still be crackling, even after you take it out.

Steak is also on the list for basically the same reason.

#2.) Tomato Sauce. It's hard to cook it without letting some splatter on the stove. And if it splatters a few more inches while you're NUDE, you could end up with a very bad burn in a very unfortunate spot.

#3.) Potato Latkes. Here's a good rule of thumb: When you're cooking something in oil, at least wear socks, pants, and a t-shirt.

"Deep fried turkey"...which is really only popular around Thanksgiving...is also on The Daily Meal's list for the same reason.

#4.) Jalepenos and Other Hot Peppers. If you've ever been cooking with peppers and rubbed your eye by mistake, you know it's absolutely excruciating, and the pain can last a long time.
Now imagine how it would feel if you were cooking naked and rubbed something ELSE by mistake.








MTV'S "OMA'S"...
MTV has announced the nominees for their first "O Music Awards", which will celebrate ONLINE music and culture.

The categories include things like: "Must Follow Artist on Twitter", "Best Music Hashtag Meme", "Fan Army FTW", "Best NSFW Music Video", "Best Innovative Music Video" and "Best Fan Forum".

In case you reside under a rock, NSFW is "Not Safe for Work", FTW is "For the Win"...

And a "meme", which rhymes with "cream", is basically any phrase that becomes common Internet slang through repetition. An example of a recent hashtag meme would be "#winning."

For the more conventional categories: Arcade Fire, Robyn, and OK Go are among the artists up for Best Innovative Music Video...and Radiohead, Kanye West and Lady Gaga are among the nominees for Best Innovative Artist.

The nominees for "Fan Army FTW" include: Justin Bieber's Beliebers, Lady Gaga's Little Monsters, Taylor Swift's Taylor Gang, Adam Lambert's Glamberts, and the Rihanna Navy.

You can check out all the nominees at OMusicAwards.tumblr.com. (And if you're really into this nonsense, you can follow the OMA Twitter account for updates. The handle is @MTVOMA.)

The winners will be determined by fan votes. Voting is supposed to begin SOON, The winners will be announced during a live WEBCAST at OMusicAwards.com on April 28th.








SPEAKING OF AWARDS...
The Grammy people have just announced a MAJOR revamp, in which 31 CATEGORIES have been slashed. Next year, the Recording Academy will hand out 78 trophies, as opposed to the ridiculous 109 that were handed out this year.

The top four categories...Best Record, Best Album, Song of the Year and Best New Artist...haven't been changed. But some of the bigger categories have been consolidated.

The most notable change is that they did away with having separate categories for male and female artists. So for instance, the male and female vocal categories were combined into "solo performance" in the pop, R&B, rock and country genres.

After all the cuts, there will now be four R&B awards instead of eight...while country, rock and pop will now have four categories instead of the previous seven. Some other, smaller generes have been merged together.

For example, "Hawaiian music, Native American music and zydeco or Cajun have been folded into the single regional roots music category." Polka, which lost its own category in 2009, is also jammed in there.

And blues and folk will be dropped down to one award each...instead of having separate distinctions for "contemporary" and "traditional."

The president of the Recording Academy said the changes were made to maintain and increase competition...and to enhance the prestige of winning a Grammy.








GWENY GWEN...
NO DOUBT singer GWEN STEFANI says she doesn't play the Slut Card like some of today's female pop stars...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Speaking of KATY PERRY, RIHANNA and LADY GAGA, Gwen says, "I don't see myself in those girls. I usually put pants on.

"I see these girls as more going for the sex-symbol thing. I was more, in the band, like a tomboy. Of course, I think every girl is sexy, so there's going to be a little of that. But I see a lot of younger artists going more toward the sexy thing."








YOUR BOSS DOESN'T WANNA BE YOUR FB FRIEND...
Don't worry that your boss will be UPSET if you're not Facebook friends with him. Or her. Because THEY don't really want YOU seeing their private life either.
Excuse me, I'm headed over to delete John Stewart now...

And back. A new survey found 43% of workers said they feel uncomfortable being connected to their boss on Facebook. Bosses were even LESS into it...47% of bosses said they were uncomfortable being friends with their employees.

As for whether you should be Facebook friends with your co-workers...26% of people said they're even uncomfortable with THAT.

I'm guessing that's just the office gossip types.








FREE MORTGAGES!!
There's a company out there that's willing to PAY YOUR MORTGAGE payments...but you have to agree to let them publicly BRAND you as broke, desperate, and a pariah of the neighborhood.

The company is called Adzookie. And they're offering to pay your mortgage...IF you let them paint your house in bright colors and cover it with ads.

You have to sign up for a minimum of three months and can extend the offer for up to a year. When your contract ends they repaint your house to its original color...and stop making your mortgage payments.

Wondering if anyone's interested? Adzookie quietly launched this offer on their website on Tuesday...and received more than 1,000 applications within hours.

They've only budgeted $100,000 for this program, and each house costs $8,000 just for the paint...so if you want to get in on this, you'd better submit an application now.

Apply here: http://www.adzookie.com/paintmyhouse.php

Also, before you do, make sure your neighborhood and city allow you to paint your house crazy colors and cover it with ads. And you have to own the home...leases and rentals aren't allowed....obviously.







More tomorrow...enjoy your Saturday!