Mary cried.
But rejoice at last, cause this Saturday morning, I am up off of my lazy keester, and here we go....
BOWERSOX FEVER IN OHIO
American Idol hopeful and top 3 finalist CRYSTAL BOWERSOX has put the tiny town of Elliston, Ohio on the map. As anyone who has ever seen IDOL knows, as you get to the top 3, they have a big homecoming celebration in your hometown. Elliston is just a few miles outside of Toledo, and yesterday was HOMECOMING day for Crystal in Toledo!
It was a whirlwind day of TV and radio visits, an appearance at an AT&T store where Crystal got a text from Ellen saying she'll perform a Paul McCartney song on the show this week...a parade downtown, mini concerts...even an event called BOWERSTOCK at the Ottawa County Fairgrounds...good lord!!
You'll see it all on TV this week, Idol airs Tuesday and Wednesday nights of course. My friends at the radio station up there also presented her with a VELVET Ryan Seacrap painting, so perhaps you'll see Crystal give that to him this week!
Q92 fans Jessica and Deb from Holmes County are huge Crystal'ites and made the trip up to see her yesterday!
Some pics...courtesy of Deb and Jessica, WTVG, and WVKS.
SPEAKING OF IDOL....
Before appearing on "American Idol", every contestant must sign a contract that, among other things, forbids them from SLEEPING WITH ONE OF THE JUDGES.
Seriously.
TMZ obtained a copy of the contract, and it has a clause that reads: "Neither I, nor any members of my family or my friends, will enter into any personal, social, business, and / or financial relationships with any of the judges, host[s], (the weird brother can't sleep with Seacrap) [and / or] guest stars."
So for example, if a contestant and a judge wanted to get it on, they'd have to wait until six months AFTER the show ended, according to the contract.
If a contestant DID violate that rule, they'd be booted from the competition. And if it was discovered after the fact, or happened in that six-month window after the show, the contestant would forfeit any prize money they won.
It's unclear if they'd also lose their record deal...but they probably would.
DID YOU MAKE OUT WITH JENNY MAC??
So the newly single JENNY MCCARTHY was spotted a week ago in a Vegas nightclub, swapping spit with someone...The rumor is true: JENNY MCCARTHY *did* make out with a guy while partying in Las Vegas. So who was he? JENNY DOESN'T KNOW.
She explained on Twitter "Yes, I kissed a mystery man in Vegas. Everyone wants to know who he is or what his name is...So would I. Lol."
In other words, you can just be a random guy and make out with Jenny McCarthy!!! Of course, you have to be in the right place at the right time. And you should probably be supremely hot. Or hysterically funny. Or filthy rich.
QUOTEABLE
"Magazines have told me in the past, 'We don't want you on the cover. You're not pretty enough.' And that's okay. I'm unique...and I dig it."
-Pink, in the new issue of COSMO, on sale now.
AVRIL LAVIGNE...SHE'S STILL RELEVANT?!
Yeah, I suppose there are still AVRIL fans among us. Anyone still rockin' a skinny tie?! She and boyfriend BRODY JENNER supposedly got matching F-WORD TATTOOS. RadarOnline.com claims they each got the F-bomb on their ribs.
A source says that when they walked into the tattoo parlor,"They were laughing and said they had not slept in two days. They were completely, utterly out of it. Neither of them seemed to stop and think about what they were doing, it was just one big laugh."
We haven't seen any pictures yet, so we don't have any actual proof that it happened.
NEW XTINA!!!
Another new CHRISTINA AGUILERA song has hit the Internet. This one's called "Woo Hoo"...and it also features rapper NICKI MINAJ. (The "off the top as bestest" female rapper in "Bedrock")
http://perezhilton.com/2010-05-08-new-xtina
Christina's new album, "Bionic", hits stores on June 8th.
MILEY GROWS UP...
MILEY CYRUS is now officially in "adult" mode.
She has unveiled the cover art for her upcoming "Can't Be Tamed" album...and it features her showing off her bare stomach...with her hand gripping her belt.
Take a look, plus a shot from her video...
I still hate Miley...she annoys the crap outta me, BUT "Can't Be Tamed" is a damn good single, and I think she needs this to move into a more adult image. Still think she'll "Britney out" and go off the deep end :)
DON'T PULL *THAT* MUSCLE!
This survey took place in the UK, and we don't really know if the results would be the same here. But we'd be very interested to find out...
According to a new survey, ONE in THREE people have suffered a sex-related injury. And 5% say they were injured so severely that they had to take time off work.
The three most common sex-related injuries are:
#1.) Pulled muscles
#2.) Injured backs
#3.) And carpet burns
2% of people admit they've broken a bone having wild sex. No, not THAT bone. Or maybe. We don't really know. Oof!
ONE in TEN people say they've fallen off the bed while having sex, while ONE in 50 admit they've fallen off the washing machine while doing the nasty.
Overall, the most dangerous place to have sex is on the sofa, followed by on the stairs, the car, in the shower, and in the bedroom.
KATY PERRY? #1 ON THE MAXIM HOT 100? REALLY!?!
I'm not saying Katy isn't hot, because she certainly is. But she's NOT #1! Sorry, Maxim, you got it WRONG this year. Here's their top 10:
#1.) KATY PERRY
#2.) BROOKLYN DECKER (She was the cover girl for this year's "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit issue.)
#3.) ZOE SALDANA
#4.) BLAKE LIVELY
#5.) MEGAN FOX
#6.) RIHANNA
#7.) ELISABETTA CANALIS (George Clooney's Italian girlfriend.)
#8.) OLIVIA MUNN
#9.) KIM KARDASHIAN
#10.) MARISA MILLER
Check out the complete list here...
http://www.maxim.com/girls/articles/90539/2010-hot-100.html
JT *MAY* BE ON SNL TONIGHT!
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE has made several AWESOME cameo appearances on "Saturday Night Live"...and word has it, he's taped another one, which will air on the season finale this weekend.
Since it was supposedly pre-taped, it could be another "Digital Short"...like "Dick in a Box" and "Motherlover"...but we don't know for sure.
TOURS:
LADY GAGA
She's announced more new dates for her MONSTER BALL tour, however no new Cleveland show. BUT, more could be added later!
CHRISTINA AGUILERA
She's announced 20 dates...again, no Cleveland stop, BUT she will play her hometown of Pittsburgh: August 03 – Pittsburgh, PA – First Niagara Pavilion
More dates could be coming for her as well!
MAROON 5
Also announced some dates to go along with their new album which hits in September...and they aren't coming here either! What the hell is up with all the shows skipping us?!
ADAM LAMBERT
OK, Lambert IS coming, and he's bringing Idol alumnus and Q92 friend ALLISON IRAHETA with him. July 6th at the Allen Theatre at Playhouse Square, and tix went on sale this morning!
SPEAKING OF MAROON 5...
LADY ANTEBELLUM did some guest vocals on the upcoming album from them. They performed on the song "Out Of Goodbyes". It's one of the tracks on Maroon 5's new album "Hands All Over", which drops September 21st.
TAYLOR SWIFT...
...will put finishing touches on her new stuff this summer. What'll it feature songs about? Taylor says "What do you think. Boys and love."
STUPID GENDER STEREOTYPES THAT SCIENCE SAYS ARE TRUE...
And I'll admit, I LOVE the first one because it amazes me how women generally can't get places without a GPS!
Here are four gender stereotypes that actually ARE backed up by science:
#1.) Women can't drive: It's not your fault, ladies. It's just that your brains aren't wired to process north-and-south navigational directions as well as the male brain.
And studies have also found that the female brain has more trouble orienting itself in three-dimensional spaces. Spaces like...you know...the real world.
#2.) Guys are filthy slobs: Physically, there's no difference between the noses of men and women, and they both have the same number of receptors. But women devote a bigger chunk of their brains to processing scents, which gives them a better sense of smell than men.
#3.) Women are wimps: This is the point where every woman who's ever lived chimes in to point out that women experience childbirth, which is way more painful than anything a man could ever endure.
But that's only because when they're pregnant or have just given birth, women are loaded up with endorphins and a cocktail of other natural chemicals to help them handle the pain.
In general, though, women have more pain receptors in their skin, and less of a protein called GIRK2 that affects their pain threshold. In other words, women are bigger wimps...but only because they actually experience more pain than men.
#4.) Women can't hold their liquor: You probably think it's because women tend to be smaller physically than men, but that's NOT the reason they're lightweights...at least not entirely. It has to do with the water-to-fat ratios of their bodies.
See, men are made up of about 61% water, while for women it's just 52%. Which may not seem like a big deal, but it's as if every drink a guy has is 9% more watered down than every drink a woman has.
And the male liver also produces more of the enzyme that breaks down alcohol, which causes guys to get a buzz slower, and to sober up faster.
SEE?! You got edumuhcated today!!
IS BRITNEY SANS PANTIES??
Judge for yourself, courtesy of X17Online (a pretty good gossip site)
http://x17online.com/gallery/view_gallery.php?gallery=spearsbruise051010_X17&index=18
OLD SCHOOL HOTNESS
Former "Wonder Years" actress DANICA MCKELLAR shot some sexy lingerie photos for the June issue of "Maxim" magazine.
In addition to revealing a lot of skin, Danica also reveals that she held onto her most precious womanly gift for quite some time. We don't know what lucky guy she ultimately gave it to...but we do know he wasn't a "Wonder Years" fan.
Danica says, "I've always been really cautious about guys who have a Winnie Cooper fantasy, and I'm so glad about that. I mean, I can count on one hand the guys I've been with. It was really challenging, but I never gave it up too soon, if you know what I mean."
Danica has been married just over a year to a composer named Mike Verta. They're expecting their first child in the fall. Here are a few of those lingerie pics...
FASCINATING STATS ON WOMEN AND THEIR EX'S...
Next month's issue of "Glamour" magazine includes an article about breakups. The idea is to see how your "breakup craziness" compares to the post-breakup insanity of other women. Check it out:
88% of women admit they've Googled an ex to see what he's up to, and 19% say they've gotten "a little obsessed" with an ex.
64% say they've managed to stay friends with an ex. And 46% have even "friended" an ex on Facebook.
35% say they still have an ex-boyfriend's phone number.
54% admit they've had sexual fantasies about an ex.
46% say they've had sex with an ex-boyfriend after breaking up...but it was a bad idea. While another 6% say they did it with an ex, and see no problem with it.
15% admit they've accidentally called a new boyfriend by an ex's name. And 2% say it happened while the new guy was giving them the business.
Overall, 32% of women say they're still IN LOVE with an ex-boyfriend.
KATE HUDSON vs. CAMERON DIAZ...IT'S ON!!!
People, IT'S ON!!! between KATE HUDSON and CAMERON DIAZ. And it's all about A-ROD.
Kate is NOT happy that Cameron is nailing her ex...mainly because she thinks she's doing it for REVENGE.
Supposedly, Kate let JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE lay one down on her back in January of 2007...literally TWO DAYS after Justin and Cameron broke up.
A so-called "source" says, "Kate thinks it's payback, pure and simple."
Whether it's payback or not, Cameron is mad that Kate's mad at her. Another source says, "Cameron was actually in a serious long-term relationship with Justin.
"She thinks it's a joke Kate would be mad. Kate is only upset because she hates being single."
NBC NEXT FALL...
...will be "Law & Order"-less. 20 seasons. Finale, May 24th
MY K-MONEY HAS A NEW VIDEO...
KE$HA has unleashed the video for "Your Love Is My Drug".
Here's Billboard.com's synopsis of it, which I found amusing:
"Ke$ha wakes up in the desert after a surely 'shroom-fueled romp with her man and goes psychedelic on us. She rides an elephant and prowls in the sand with a tiger's head...then steers a canoe to nowhere with [the guy], the couple's style is inspired by Kate Hudson and the Black Crowes' Chris Robinson, no doubt.
"Cartoon crabs, ocotpi and mermaids soon take over the screen, in a clear nod to the Beatles' tripped-out classic, 'Yellow Submarine'.
"[And Ke$ha rocks] tribal, glow-in-the-dark body paint...and she's got a giant snake wrapped around her body for added measure."
You know you wanna watch!
http://www.keshasparty.com/us/news/your-love-my-drug-video-premiere
That is all. Mary is happy. And I hope you are too. GORGEOUS weekend, go enjoy it! IYAZ MAY 27TH at The Pub...listen to get in!!!!!
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