BIG MONDAY!

NEW MORNING SHOW...ROCK THE RESORT ANNOUNCED...AND ME 7-MID on Q92!


NEW REASONS TO HATE ASHTON KUTCHER...
I mean, dude was making out with MILA FREAKIN' KUNIS on That 70's Show (and she's clearly a GODDESS)...well now, RIHANNA had a late-night rendezvous with ASHTON KUTCHER at his house last week...but it may not have been their first meeting.

Britain's "Sun" tabloid claims they've been doing the BAD THING since December, when they met at a party. (DEMI MOORE gave Ashton his walking papers in November.)










HOW BIG WAS THE HUNGER GAMES?
We all knew "The Hunger Games" was going to be big at the box office, but I don't know how many people expected it to be THIS huge: It just had the THIRD BEST opening weekend of ALL-TIME.

It made $155 million in its first three days, behind only last year's "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2", which made $169 million...and 2008's "The Dark Knight", which pulled in $158 million its first weekend.









SAD COMEDY NEWS...
It's the end of an era: GALLAGHER is giving up the comedy club scene after more than THREE DECADES of smashing things with a giant sledgehammer.

I remember first seeing Gallagher when the cable company added a bunch of channels in the mid-90's as a kid, and we got Comedy Central for the first time. Early one morning, this guy was on there smashing EVERYTHING imagineable. It was hilarious!

At 65, Gallagher suffered a heart attack before a gig earlier this month. A year ago, he suffered a heart attack DURING a gig. And we're just finding out that he suffered a THIRD heart attack YESTERDAY. This one was said to be pretty mild, but he's back in the hospital.

While this isn't a full-on retirement, for the most part, his live performing career is OVER. During an interview via phone, Gallagher said, "I decided that this is enough.

"I have 32 years of live performing, and so I'm looking for just some little stuff, like retirement things, I'd like to show up at maybe company parties."

It turns out the PEOPLE are a big part of why Gallagher is through with the clubs. He said, "It's babysitting people who can't handle alcohol...It's Lindsay Lohanville.

"People are just loud and stupid. I'm just too smart and educated...I guess it's like being a teacher. I want my plaque and I'm out of that high school."

Gallagher's heart isn't the only thing giving him trouble these days. He's also having memory problems. In fact, when his daughter quizzed him recently about who the president was, he COULDN'T REMEMBER.

Even though doctors say his memory will return, he says, "I really don't want to get on stage because sometimes I can't remember what I said or what the word is and I don't want to be pitiful.

"I can't remember a lot of stuff. I was surprised I was in the hospital, and my son and my daughter were there. There's a sadness when you can't remember, I guess it's like Alzheimer's."

But Gallagher's not going to stop sharing his comedic brilliance with the world. He says, "I'm going to write and put it all on the Internet and people can just enjoy it that way."










NEW MUSIC: GREEN DAY
In a new video on Green Day's YouTube channel, the band and their producer talk about how they're, "literally dealing with a new sound...that's [effing] with their heads."

The producer adds, "It takes balls to do this, because...each hit of every instrument is actually super important, they add up to one thing. Then when you get it done, it's like 'Wow, that's a big powerful statement.'"

Here's the direct link to the video. WARNING: NSFW, it's not censored
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYv_ZmLxYls&feature=youtu.be

Singer BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG recently said this album would be about sex...but the band still made it sound like an EPIC PIECE OF ART.

Billie said, "I think it's so personal and it is so voyeuristic. And it is. This is the first time we've ever really sung about [effing]."

Bassist MIKE DIRNT added, "The songs are gonna [effing] blow their minds."









FACEBOOK KNOWS WHEN YER GONNA SPLIT FROM YOUR MAN
Spoiler alert: If your relationship seems like it's in trouble right now...expect to break up on a Friday in three months.

I say do it now! and call me, I'll help.

The engineers at Facebook analyzed relationship status changes from 2010 and 2011, to figure out which days had the most people switching from "single" to "in a relationship", and from "married" or "in a relationship" to "divorced" or "single."

Here are their six big findings...
#1.) Fridays and Saturdays are the days with the most break-ups. Mondays have the most new relationships starting.

#2.) Break-ups are most likely to happen in the summer. June has the most, July has the second-most, and August has the third-most.

#3.) New relationships are most likely to start in the winter. February has the most new relationships, December has the second-most, and January has the third-most.

#4.) Valentine's Day has the most new relationships. There are 49% more new relationships on Valentine's Day than break-ups.

#5.) The next four dates with the highest ratio of new relationships are Christmas, Christmas Eve, the day after Valentine's Day...and April Fools' Day.

#6.) A lot of those new April Fools' Day relationship changes are jokes, though. April 2nd has THE highest ratio of any date for people changing from "in a relationship" to "single."

I would never...









ENDANGERED SPECIES
A genealogy website studied U.S. baby name trends since 1940, and came up with the five most ENDANGERED names...meaning names that used to be popular, but could completely disappear.

And they are: Betty, Donald, Carol, Shirley, and Ronald.
All of those were extremely popular names in 1940...now most of them aren't even in the top 1,000.