Rob Mackenzie: Robbie Mack's Randoms!

um....HI

2012-02-11T06:58:00.002-05:00

I just want you to know....it's 7:05 AM and I COULD be sleeping right now! But no, I'm up to type this for YOU. So you better love it and enjoy it. Give it a hug even.
Don't kiss it, you have morning breath.

NEW WIZ KHALIFA...
A while back, WIZ KHALIFA said that his next album will be titled "O.N.I.F.C."...and now, he's explaining what it stands for.

He says, "It's [an acronym for] the Only [N-Word] In First Class. It's inspired by Prodigy's 'H.N.I.C.'. When he dropped that, I felt like that sounded so strong."

He adds, "I was just talking about me being a young rich dude and being black. It looks crazy to them when I walk up to them and show them my ticket or I'm going in priority seating...they're like 'You're sure?'

"It's a good feeling...and then it's like a bad feeling because it's like: 'Damn, why do you feel like that about me?'"

Wiz also has a CLEAN version of his album title, in which "O.N.I.F.C." stands for "One Night In First Class." The album doesn't have a release date yet.

REKINDLED
One of the new contestants on "The Voice" ...used to star on "The Mickey Mouse Club" with coach CHRISTINA AGUILERA. His name is TONY LUCCA. He chose ADAM LEVINE to be his coach from Sunday night's season premiere.

Christina supposedly didn't recognize him at first. But after he'd made his choice she went looking for him and introduced herself to his family backstage.

TEMPTATION...IS A PART OF LIFE...
Thanks to Corina for letting me use her 1992 hit...

If you can't fight the constant urge to check what's happening on Facebook or Twitter every waking moment of your miserable existence, you're not alone.

Researchers at the University of Chicago found that it's harder to resist the urge to check Facebook, Twitter, and email on your cell phone than it is for smokers and drinkers to resist cigarettes and alcohol.

The researchers gave BlackBerries to volunteers of all ages and told them to carry them throughout their normal day. Surprisingly, no one SMASHED their Blackberry!

Then they sent the volunteers messages at various points throughout the day asking if they had been tempted to check their Facebook, Twitter, or email messages in the last half hour.

Volunteers said they had a desire to check their messages 75% of the time.

.....now I'm just thinkin' here, wouldn't TELLING SOMEONE they should check one of these things...MAKE THEM WANNA DO IT?!

Based on previous studies, smokers and drinkers did a better job at fighting off their urges than the volunteers did with social media. The only urges harder to resist were urges to sleep and have sex.

Well good. At least we have our priorities down, LOL

LAST WEEKEND'S GAME...
Set a new record. It was the most-watched TV program EVER. The previous record-holder was LAST year's game. Prior to that, it was the series finale of M.A.S.H. in 1983.

KE$HA...
I love her. For real. Who this week said, "I destroy men on a weekly basis. It's like a hobby. I'm like a praying mantis. They [eff] me, and then I eat them."

She adds that when she's feeling down, she makes her assistant put on a PENIS COSTUME and dance for her. She says, "Who isn't amused by a giant, dancing penis?"

GET ITTTT
There's more sex going on in your office than you realize. So you might want to try getting in on that.

#1.) 11% of people, or one out of every nine of your coworkers, admit they've had sex in the workplace at least once.

#2.) 7% of people actually have sex at the office REGULARLY.

#3.) The most popular place for office sex is on your desk. A meeting room is second, and the parking garage is third.

#4.) The least popular places for office sex are in a bathroom stall or on your boss's desk.

#5.) 95% of office sex happens after hours...but that DOES mean that 5%, or one in 20 office sex sessions, happen ON THE CLOCK.

VALENTINE'S DAY AND FLOWERS...
If you're planning to give someone roses for Valentine's Day, you should really know what SECRET MESSAGE you're sending with them. That's right. The number of roses you give apparently carries a meaning you never realized. Here's a guide...

One rose is meant for early in a relationship, and means love at first sight.

Three roses represents a shared love, and should be a one-month anniversary gift.

Six roses symbolizes passion and infatuation.

Ten roses says you believe your love is PERFECT.

Twelve roses is perfect for Valentine's Day, and means "be mine."

Thirteen roses means you just want to be friends. (???)

Fifteen roses means you're SORRY.

Twenty-four roses is like SHOUTING "I'm yours." (Or it's really un-creative)

And forty roses means your love is truly genuine. And also you have a lot of money.

...who the HELL buys someone 40 roses?! That's just stupid! Besides, everything after 6 supposedly means the same thing, more or less.

POWER-FACEBOOKERS
Notice how your posts on Facebook always get likes and comments, even though YOU never like or comment on other people's posts?

That doesn't mean you're selfish, it means you're average.
A new study found the average Facebook user gets more likes, messages, and comments than they leave.

That's possible thanks to Facebook power-users who basically like and comment on EVERYTHING.

OWEN AND VINCE TEAM UP AGAIN...
"Wedding Crashers" co-stars OWEN WILSON and VINCE VAUGHN are teaming up again for a comedy called "Interns".

They'll play two guys who get laid off from their company and decide to become interns at a Google-type dotcom company...where they find themselves competing against much younger employees for advancement.

FLO RIDA STIFFED A GIRL...
One of FLO RIDA'S former assistants has filed a lawsuit against him. She claims he only paid her $3.08-an-hour for a 65-hour work week...and when she complained, he fired her.

Flo Rida has a different story though. His lawyers say she was never "hired"...instead, she was an unpaid intern, who was begging to work for him to get her foot in the door.

Flo helped her out every now and then with lunch and gas money...and now he wishes he hadn't. He says, "I gave someone an opportunity out of the goodness of my heart and now sadly I am being falsely targeted."

WOMEN SAY COMPLIMENTS ARE BETTER THAN SEEING US NAKED...
....well, yeah! These women have apparently seen me naked.

According to a new survey of married women by iVillage, almost ALL women say that sharing your loving feelings or giving her compliments are MUCH, MUCH bigger turn-ons than getting naked in front of her.

The survey also found...
80% of married women say they were in the mood to have sex at least once in the past month.

22% have sexted their husbands, 9% have had phone sex with him, 16% have watched porno with him, and 6% have had a threesome with him.

And 33% say they'd rather have sex with their husband than watch a movie, go to a spa, check Facebook, or talk to friends.

WHAT WOMEN WANT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY...
According to a survey of women ages 30 to 49, only 5%...that's one in 20...want sex MORE than an actual gift this Valentine's Day.

72% say they most want a day off housework. 14% want a special plan for dinner, and 9% want a material gift.

A separate study also found that, whatever you do for Valentine's Day, you should also include a HANDWRITTEN NOTE. 60% of both genders said that's a more romantic gesture than an expensive dinner.

"IN THE CAR, I JUST CAN'T WAIT..."
I thought it was pretty much a rule of thumb that you don't do a FIRST DATE on Valentine's Day. You're virtually GUARANTEEING awkwardness, unnecessary pressure, and premature discussions about feelings and the future.

Well, apparently, the vast majority of single people today don't care about any of that. They just really, really want to go on dates whenever they can get 'em.

A new survey found that 83% of single people would be open to going on a first date on Valentine's Day.

AND...70% say they'd be willing to take it a step further and be set up on a BLIND DATE on Valentine's Day.

ADELE DOES THE GRAMMY'S
ADELE will perform for the first time in four months this Sunday at the Grammys...after having vocal cord surgery in November.

In a "60 Minutes" interview with ANDERSON COOPER, which airs before the Grammys, Adele talks about the moment she realized something was wrong.

She says, "It felt like someone put a curtain over my throat. It felt like something popped in my throat."

Adele had it checked out...and the doctors discovered a polyp on her vocal cord that had hemorrhaged. She says, "I had laser surgery...

"[They] put lasers down your throat, cut off the polyp, and kind of laser your hemorrhage back together and fix it."

Adele has been cleared to perform at the Grammys...and at the Brit Awards later this month...but she doesn't want to push it yet. She says, "If I decide to go on a 200-date world tour, it would happen again."

Meanwhile, in an interview with "People" magazine, Adele comments on the Internet's relentless fascination with her weight. She says, "I've never wanted to look like models on the cover of magazines.

"I represent the majority of women and I'm very proud of that."

DEAL BREAKERS
A survey by CouponCabin.com asked single people what their biggest deal-breakers are on a date. Here are the top five things that will get you dumped.

#1.) Poor hygiene: 84% of people said that body odor, bad teeth or dirty hair would be a deal-breaker.

#2.) Using your cell phone too much: 75%.

#3.) Being rude to a server or hostess: 73%.

#4.) Talking too much about your ex: 70%.

#5.) Flirting with the server or host/hostess: 61%.

Well....yeah. HAHA!

Women were more likely than men to consider every bad behavior a deal-breaker, except for a date being too expensive, which one in three men said was a deal-breaker.

LADIES...IS THIS TRUE?
This is from a British survey, but I REALLY hope it applies over here too.

43% of women say that they carry an extra pair of panties in their purse...in case a date goes well, and they want to look sexier later.

As for why the women don't just WEAR the sexy underwear to begin with...it's supposedly because LESS sexy underwear is more comfortable, and shapes your body better.

And this is apparently something women are determined to keep men from finding out about. 60% of women said they'd NEVER admit it to a man, even if they were in a long-term relationship.

Of course, if a guy is looking at a woman in her panties, he's probably got other things on his mind...and 40% of men said they wouldn't care if she had comfortable underwear on instead of sexy ones. (I'd agree with that)

TOP PLACES FOR QUICKIES...
Valentine's Day falls on a Tuesday this year, which means it might be harder to find time for Valentine's Day SEX. So here's AskMen.com's list of the top eight places to have a quickie.

We're not suggesting you to do anything ILLEGAL. But if you WANT to, here's where to do it.

#1.) An Elevator. Unless you're REALLY quick, you won't have enough time between floors. So you have to stall the elevator completely.

Just make sure you don't trigger an alarm, or the fire department might hear you through the speaker.

The other thing to worry about is whether there's a security camera in the elevator...and whether there's a security guard watching you or not.

#2.) A Movie Theater. You have to be quiet and sit in the back, but it's definitely doable. Just don't try it at a movie that's PACKED.

You're better off in a theater that's somewhere between empty and half-full. So skip the most popular movies like "Chronicle" and "The Woman in Black", and go see "The Artist" instead.

#3.) The Back of a Club or a Restaurant. Wherever you are, it just has to be dark and noisy. If it's not, the bathroom is a safer alternative. Especially if you can lock the door.

#4.) A Stairwell. Pick one that doesn't get much traffic. We're all pretty lazy these days, but some people DO still take the stairs if they're only going a floor or two. Just remember, higher floors equal lower risk.

#5.) The Car. It's kind of the old standard when it comes to quickies. But if you've never tried it...or haven't tried it since high school...it can be pretty memorable.

Just make sure you pick a spot where you won't be caught. At night, cops tend to notice idling cars in places like public parks. Not that I would know. I'm just...guessing. Yeah. So choose carefully.

#6.) An Alley. Obviously not a FILTHY alley. But even a clean alley is pretty gross. So this one definitely requires you both to be standing up.

#7.) A Dressing Room. Some stores...like Victoria's Secret...won't let guys go in the dressing rooms, even if it's with their wife. But as long as you're quiet, most dressing rooms are somewhat safe.

Even if you DO get caught, the salesperson won't just walk in on you. But if they know what's up, you might still get in trouble. So make sure you're completely quiet.

#8.) Your Workplace. This is without a doubt the riskiest spot on the list

AT A BLOGGER SET FOR TWO

2012-01-10T18:37:00.002-05:00

SAD NEWS OVER THE WEEKEND...
OK, maybe just for me. I suppose it's happy news for them.

HILLARY SCOTT, lead singer of LADY ANTEBELLUM, married her fiancé, drummer Chris Tyrrell, on Saturday in upstate New York. The happy couple posted a video on the LADY A website. (Try not to laugh at their matching gray T-shirts.)

http://ladyantebellum.com/news/message-hillary-and-chris-tyrrell

KELLY DOES "THE VOICE"
The contestants on the next season of "The Voice" will have even more famous singers to work with.

In addition to the mentors...CHRISTINA AGUILERA, ADAM LEVINE, BLAKE SHELTON and CEE LO GREEN...there will be "celebrity advisers" who will assist the mentors.

They will help out during the "battle rounds" phase of the competition, helping out each mentor's six contestants. Each mentor has chosen two advisers.

JEWEL and LIONEL RICHIE will work with Christina.

ALANIS MORISSETTE and ROBIN THICKE will help Adam.

Blake has tapped KELLY CLARKSON and his wife MIRANDA LAMBERT.

And Cee Lo will have NE-YO and KENNY "BABYFACE" EDMONDS

The second season of "The Voice" will premiere after the Super Bowl on Sunday, February 5th.

RIHANNA: ALL-TIME DIGITAL BEST-SELLER
She's sold 47.5 million digital downloads overall, which makes her the best-selling digital artist of all time, at least for now.

The BLACK EYED PEAS are next with 42.4 million, and EMINEM is just 100,000 behind that, with 42.3 million digital downloads.

LADY GAGA is fourth. She's sold 42.1 million digital downloads over the years...and TAYLOR SWIFT is fifth with digital sales of 41.82 million digital downloads.

THE TAX MAN COMETH...
Hey, here's some GOOD news about being POOR.

According to data from the IRS, your odds of getting audited are DRASTICALLY lower this year if you make small money than if you make big money.

Last year, the IRS audited 12.5% of people making more than $1 MILLION...that's one in eight. And they audited 4% of people making $200,000 and more...that's one in 25.

They only audited 1% of people making less than $200,000...that's one in one hundred.

KATY WON'T BE THERE!
KATY PERRY is NOT going to show up at the People's Choice Awards tomorrow night. Naturally, she would've been confronted with a lot of attention over her split from RUSSELL BRAND...and apparently she isn't ready for that.

Officially, she didn't give a reason for dropping out. It might also have to do with the fact that ex-hubby was UNinvited, awkwardly. She just Tweeted, "Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the People's Choice Awards. I want to thank you all for voting for me, fingers crossed! #KATYCATS."

She's got 7 nominations total.

BZZZZT. YOU LOSE!
Did you smoke your first cigarette of the year yesterday? Skip your first workout? Drink your first liter of gravy? Yeah...so did just about everyone else who made a New Year's resolution.

According to a new survey, by today, 10 days into January, 75% of people admit they've broken their resolution.

And the average person says it's at least the FOURTH time they've made the same resolution...and failed.

"IT'S A LOVE STORY, BABY JUST SAY....YOU BITCH!"
In September, 33-year-old Julia Cross of Auckland, New Zealand was on vacation in Ibiza, Spain. While she was there, she spent one perfect night with the man of her dreams. He was from England, and she fell in love with him instantly. If I had to guess, it was probably the accent.

Before they went their separate ways, Julia gave him her number so they could keep in touch. Only she never heard from him...so she figured she accidentally gave him the wrong number. LOL...right, ya know. Cause that happens. Hahahaha!!! Anyway. She was quite torn up. ...over him not calling. Yeah.

So Julia decided to track him down. Because that's the normal, sane thing to do. She launched an Internet campaign, trying desperately to see if anyone could find him. And FINALLY, after five months, someone tracked him down.

Turns out he's 33-year-old Martin O'Kane, a software developer in London. Oh...AND he has a girlfriend. Oops.

Guess what? Julia HAD given him the right number (of course she had)...but he didn't call her because of the girlfriend thing. Although he says he didn't have a girlfriend when he was in Ibiza...they got together RIGHT when he got home.

Martin says he's, "flattered" by the whole thing (flattered is the new alarmed)...but his girlfriend, "feels a bit odd that there's a national campaign to set me up with someone else." (He's MY MAN, bitches!)

THEY FREAKY WIT BIG OL' BOOTY'S

2012-01-08T06:26:00.002-05:00

...nothing to do with the contents of this week's update, but shouts to PIT for the inspiration!

RIHANNA & CHRIS BROWN?!
WHAT? Next month it'll be three years since CHRIS BROWN viciously attacked RIHANNA the night before the Grammys. And now, it sounds like they're exchanging romantic Tweets.

Last week, Chris Tweeted, "Love U more than u know!" And just two minutes later, Rihanna Tweeted, "I'll always love you #1love."

Does it mean anything? I have no idea.

"ON FIRE AND I KNOW IT"...
REDFOO from LMFAO abruptly ended a DJ set in Honduras last Wednesday night after the venue's electrical system caught fire.

It wasn't a full-on LMFAO show. Singer SKY BLU is dealing with a "severe back injury," and is taking it easy for the next month. Their tour is scheduled to resume in February.

Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt...but 15 people were treated for smoke inhalation.

After the show, RedFoo Tweeted, "Epic concert tonight!!!! Everybody in Honduras, we set the place on fire!!!! Sorry for Party Rocking...yeah baby.

"They told us that there was a fire when we were on stage. Then we went to the dressing rooms and there was smoke in the halls.

"On a serious note: Hope everybody is safe from the fire tonight! Love you, Honduras!"

According to reports, the local authorities believe the fire may have been set intentionally...but there aren't any other details.

"NEVER LIKED IT ANYWAY"
Sometimes when you break up with someone, you need to get rid of ANYTHING that reminds you of them. Gifts, clothing, music, jewelry, wedding dress, whatever...you need it gone. And putting it on eBay just isn't enough.

So now there's a new website called NeverLikedItAnyway.com. It's a marketplace where you can sell all the painful items left over after a break up...AND tell your break up story to give the items some context.

And if you haven't recently been dumped, it's a good site to check out...because people are selling some pretty valuable stuff at good discounts just to get rid of it. You might as well cash in on their pain!!

BUT...YOU'RE AN AAAALIEEEEEENNNNNN...
DENNIS HOF is the guy who runs the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada...that's the brothel in that HBO series "Cathouse". And now he's starting a new brothel...with a twist.

It's called ALIEN CATHOUSE. Yep...all the hookers are going to dress up as aliens. He's still working out the details...like whether or not the hookers will be painted green.

Basically, he figures that a good target demographic for brothels are guys with science fiction fantasies. So if they want to dress up as Captain Kirk and take down an alien, he's making that easier than ever.

The place is scheduled to open in a few months.

It's located about 90 miles northwest of Vegas, next to a convenience store and gas station on U.S. Highway 95.

Prostitution in brothels is legal in Nevada EXCEPT in two counties: Washoe County, the home of Reno...and Clark County, the home of Las Vegas.

CLARKSON TALKS POLITICS, POPULARITY SKY-ROCKETS...
KELLY CLARKSON started a Twitter firestorm last week when she said she "loved" RON PAUL as the Republican nominee for President.

It began with this Tweet, "I love Ron Paul. I liked him a lot during the last Republican nomination and no one gave him a chance. If he wins the nomination for the Republican Party in 2012 he's got my vote. Too bad he probably won't."

Unfortunately, when you talk politics, the haters come out. People started Tweeting their angry disapproval of Kelly's political views...with some even accusing Ron Paul of being racist and homophobic.

Okay, here's the best part of the story. After all this chaos went down Kelly's record sales went up. Way up. To the tune of more than 440%! And her latest album, "Stronger", jumped from #38 to #7 on Amazon's sales list.

SORRY, REDS... :(
We've seen plenty of studies in the past few years about how men now seem to prefer BROWN HAIR to BLONDE HAIR. Well here's another study on hair color that finds the same thing...with a TWIST.

Men find brunettes more attractive...but when they want to get laid, they go for blondes.

Researchers at the University of Westminster in England had a woman go to different clubs in London. She'd go to each club three times...once with her hair dyed brown, once blonde, and once red.

The researchers counted how many times men approached the woman with each hair color. Then, they went back to the bars later and had men rate her on attractiveness and intelligence.

They found that men were most likely to approach and hit on the woman when she's blonde...but rated her most attractive and intelligent when she was a brunette. Red hair bottomed out in every category.

Isn't that because red-headed french women don't shave their pits? ::shudder::

The researchers believe that men were most likely to hit on the blonde because, quote, "Men were more likely to assume sexual intent on the part of our [woman] when she was blonde."

So when men want to get laid, they go for blondes...when they're looking to settle down with someone attractive and intelligent, they go for brunettes...and they never go for redheads. You're welcome.

AHHH, FACEBOOK RELATIONSHIP DRAMA...
One of the underrated side effects of Facebook is that it's a HOMEWRECKER. And its homewrecking powers just keep growing.

In December of 2010, a study found that Facebook was cited in one out of every FIVE divorces. Now, about a year later, it's increased to one in every THREE divorces.

There are three main ways Facebook plays into divorce proceedings...

#1.) Someone catches their spouse sending inappropriate Facebook messages to someone else.

#2.) One person posts negative comments about their soon-to-be-ex-spouse on Facebook.

#3.) The spouses defriend each other as their divorce is going on...and their friends report back to them about their spouse's behavior on Facebook. (LOL)

AS HEARD ON THE DELUCA SHOW...
Atlas Van Lines just released their annual study on migration patterns in the U.S. Basically, they analyze their state-to-state moves to figure out which states people are leaving, and which states people are moving to.

And the big finding is...people are getting the hell out of here!

Yes, Ohio had the biggest percentage difference in people moving out versus people moving in. Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, and Kansas also had more than 55% of their moves go outbound.

On the other end, Washington, D.C. had the highest percentage difference in people moving in versus people moving out.

Virginia, Maryland, North Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, New Mexico (??), North Dakota (!?), and Alaska (!?!?!) also had big positive swings.

California had the most total people move out, at 6,758...but they ALSO had the most people move in, at 7,803. They're one of 24 states that saw a pretty balanced ratio of inbound-versus-outbound moves.

THAT'S THE CHEATIN' SPOON!!!
Did you cheat on your husband or wife Wednesday?

I'm not sure if this is going to put your conscience at ease...or make JESUS any less angry at you...but you weren't the only one.

According to relationship experts, January 4th is the BIGGEST day of the entire year for cheating.

It's hard to find statistics to back up that kind of claim, but here's one. The cheating website IllicitEncounters.com reported that they got more than DOUBLE their normal amount of daily signups yesterday.

Here's why January 4th is big for cheating. The stress and intensity of the holiday season can put a big strain on relationships. But no one wants to break up over the holidays. So that frustration and anger just festers and grows.

By January 4th, everyone's been back to work for a couple of days, settled back into a routine...and now they can actually take active steps toward ending their relationship...or, ya know, getting some strange.

"GOOD THING I BROUGHT MY LIBRARY CARD..."
If you sign up for online dating with the goal of getting married as quickly as possible, here's some good news. Once you wade through the sea of lunatics, serial killers and creepers and find the right person...you guys will be married before you know it!

According to a new survey, the average couple that meets through online dating gets married in 18-and-a-half months.

For couples who meet offline, the average is 42 months...or three-and-a-half years.

In 2010, 17% of married couples...or one out of six...met on a dating site.

About 5.5 million of the 54 million single adults in the U.S. are now using online dating. About 20% have tried it. (Have you? I never have...don't think I would either)

Every user spends an average of almost 13 minutes per week on their online dating profile and correspondence...not counting the time spent on dates.

SKIP STARBUCKS, GET RICH...
If you buy one $4 latte a day, you're spending $1,460 per year on Starbucks. After five years, that's $7,300.

Let's say you invested that $4 every day instead, in an account with an average return of 9%. After 10 years, you could have enough to buy a car. And at 40 years, the money you saved from coffee would be worth $634,428.

But if you don't want to give up Starbucks, here's another alternative. You could buy bags of Starbucks French roast and brew them yourself. You can also add milk to make lattes.

That will reduce your budget to about $29-a-month...saving you $91 over going to an actual Starbucks.

Over 40 years, if you invested the difference, you'd have $481,108. Even if you don't invest it, just saving the $91-a-month would mean you'll end the year $1,092 richer...and have an extra $43,680 when you retire in 40 years.

JASON DERULO
JASON DERULO broke his neck while rehearsing for his European tour.

He posted a picture on Facebook of him lying down in a neck brace. He said, "I fractured my neck doing tumbling and acrobatics for tour! Always tryin' to push boundaries for YOU! Like my new chain? ;)"

The 'chain' line was a joke about the brace...and it's nice to hear that he has a sense of humor about it, because his doctors say he could've been PARALYZED if the injury was any more severe.

Jason's rep says he was rehearsing some kind of dance move when he landed directly on his head and suffered "an acute fracture of his vertebrae."

It seems like Jason will be OK...but he has to wear the brace for the next few months. That means he's had to cancel his European tour, which was supposed to begin on February 23rd.

Late last night, Jason released a statement saying, "The pain of letting you down cuts me way deeper than this injury I've sustained. My fans mean everything to me, so I'm praying for a speedy recovery in order to perform for you in the near future."

THE BLACK KEYS HATE NICKELBACK...
BLACK KEYS drummer and Akron native PATRICK CARNEY took a big shot at NICKELBACK in the new issue of "Rolling Stone"...but Nickelback isn't sweating it.

Patrick said, "Rock 'n' roll is dying because people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world...they became OK with the idea that the biggest rock band in the world is always going to be [crap]."

Nickelback responded on Twitter with this: "Thanks to the drummer in the Black Keys calling us the Biggest Band in the World in 'Rolling Stone'. Hehe."

VACATION AND FACEBOOK...
A new survey found the average person uploads vacation photos to Facebook within FOUR HOURS of getting home.

And 9% of people even upload them while they're still on vacation.

THE AVERAGE WORKDAY...
I don't have to tell you that the eight-hour, nine-to-five workday with an hour for lunch is DEAD. It's right there next to the VCR and freaking out over the cost of long distance.

I've got the results here from a new study that figured out the ACTUAL hours and lifestyle of the average worker. Check it out...

The average office worker starts at 8:09 A.M. and leaves at 5:22 P.M.

That means the average workday is now nine hours, 13 minutes.

The average person leaves home at 7:49 A.M. and has a commute that lasts 20 minutes and 41 seconds. The commute home takes 33 minutes and 46 seconds.

It takes 12 minutes before the first conversation with a coworker, at 8:21 A.M.

The average worker takes a 28-minute lunch break.

And spends an average of $5 on lunch.

Only 7% go outside for some fresh air during lunch.

The average worker drinks three cups of coffee a day.

We average one argument with a coworker daily.

The average worker sends 26 emails a day and receives 32.

And finally, the average worker spends 10 minutes and 15 seconds on Facebook during the workday.

GONNA FLY SOON?
The "Wall Street Journal" just released its annual rankings of U.S. airlines. We're down to just SEVEN major airlines in this country...and they STILL can't get everything right.

The rankings are based on how the airlines do in six categories: On-time arrivals, excessive delays, baggage handling, customer complaints, bumping passengers, and cancelling flights.

Alaska Airlines is the smallest major airline left...and they got the highest overall rank. Bigger isn't always better! They scored number one in three categories: On-time arrivals, fewest excessive delays, and fewest canceled flights.

On the other end, American Airlines came in dead last. They scored in the bottom three in all six categories. Here are the full rankings...

#1.) Alaska
#2.) Southwest (now merged with AirTran)
#3.) Delta
#4.) United (now merged with Continental)
#5.) U.S. Airways
#6.) JetBlue
#7.) American

ONE MORE WEEK...

2011-12-17T08:23:00.002-05:00

...til CHRISTMAS!

GOOD NEWS FOR THE ADELE HATERS
It's been eleven months since ADELE'S album "21" came out...and since then, she's been one of the biggest sensations in music.

That's despite the fact that she's had to cancel a lot of tour dates because of throat problems. Last month, she had surgery on her vocal cords. It was a success, and she expects to be able to perform again by February.

But Adele isn't planning on beginning work on her next album anytime soon.

She says, "I'm really looking forward to some time to do nothing...I imagine I'll be 25 or 26 by the time my next record comes out. I haven't even thought about my third album yet."

Adele is 23 now. She turns 24 in May...so if you really want to take her at her word, that means we probably won't see another Adele album until late 2013 or 2014.

She adds, "I'm just gonna lay some concrete, set up home and just 'be' for a bit. I'll disappear and come back with a record when it's good enough. There will be no new music until it's good enough and until I'm ready."

PFFFFT
Men might procrastinate on buying gifts. Men might not always buy the perfect thing. And men may not have a reputation for buying THOUGHTFUL Christmas gifts...But dammit...at least men are willing to drop some serious money.

A new survey found that men spend approximately 52% MORE on Christmas presents for their women than their women spend on them. Men spend an average of about $235, women spend approximately $155.

SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOP DOES THE PRICE IS RIGHT
Next month, we're going to find out if SNOOP DOGG has a handle on how much normal people's kitchen appliances cost...because he's going to be a contestant on "The Price Is Right".

Snoop is participating in the show's first ever celebrity week. He'll compete against regular, non-celebrity contestants on Monday, January 2nd. (The celebrity episodes have already been filmed.)

JENNY MCCARTHY will take on the contestants on Tuesday...NEIL PATRICK HARRIS will be the celebrity on Wednesday. Thursday will feature former "American Idol" star CHRIS DAUGHTRY, and HEIDI KLUM will be Friday's star.

Naturally, the celebrities will be playing for charities. Snoop's winnings will go to his Youth Football League.

Btw, it sounds like Snoop did pretty well. Producer Mike Richards says, "It was a lot of fun to watch these celebrities play our iconic games. Each one had their own unique strategy to win.

"Let's just say Snoop knows more about the price of grocery items than you might think!"

CHRISTMAS: WOMEN ARE IN CHARGE, BUT...
Women are in charge of Christmas. That's a fact. A survey last week found that 0% of couples say the man takes the lead for the holidays. But deep down, men secretly think they could do it better.

A new survey found that more than one-third of men think Christmas would be MUCH better if they ran the show. Here's what men say they would change...

#1.) People would be expected to spend less on gifts.

#2.) Family Christmas cards would become rare...more than half would stop sending them.

#3.) There would be NO visits from the in-laws.

#4.) They'd do whatever it took to make the holiday season LESS STRESSFUL.

#5.) And finally, instead of traditional Christmas dinner, they'd serve STEAK and FRENCH FRIES.

YEAH!!!

CHRISTMAS: BY THE NUMBERS
And now, Christmas by the numbers. The Postal Service will handle 16.5 billion cards, letters, and packages...

two billion candy canes will be sold...

220 million poinsettias will be sold...

Americans will buy 25 to 30 million real Christmas trees and 17 million fake ones...

and the average family will mail out 28 cards.

According to a new survey, the way the average family spends their time together on Christmas is...watching TV. Almost EIGHT HOURS of TV. About 20% of families say at least one argument breaks out over what to watch on Christmas. Movies, Christmas specials, and sports are the most common picks.

SHUT UP & FLY
You know what makes Christmas more fun? MATH. "The Atlantic" magazine ran the numbers on Santa's Christmas Eve journey and found the following: There are 526 million Christian children under age 14 worldwide. Santa needs to hit 22 million per hour, every hour. That's 365,000 kids per minute, or 6,100 per second.

BAD GIFTS AND WHAT TO DO WITH THEM
"Consumer Reports" released their annual holiday survey, and found that one in five people have gotten a lousy holiday gift. Which might seem kind of low, but that's 49 million people.

11% of people said that their in-laws give them the worst presents, and 5% blamed their grandparents. Here are the five most common things people do with a bad present. (People could choose more than one answer.)

#1.) Make the best of it: 44%

#2.) Keep it and store it someplace out of sight: 39%

#3.) Donate it to charity: 18%

#4.) Re-gift it: 13%

#5.) A tie between "throw it out" and "return it to the store": 11%

6% of people say they try to sell the bad gift. 2% give it back to the person that gave it to them, and 2% post a picture of it online to make fun of it.

KATY PREGNANT??
People keep trying to make KATY PERRY pregnant. Wait, that didn't quite come out right. Although I Know *I* would! People keep trying to SUGGEST that Katy is pregnant. There, that's better.

But Katy keeps denying it. There may be a little paunch there, but Katy swears it's all down to JUNK FOOD. (And can't we all relate!) On the BARBARA WALTERS special the other night, she specifically called out Taco Bell.

Katy wore a tight dress Wednesday while pimping her new perfume...and when the pictures hit the web yesterday, the chatter ignited yet again.

MTV's TOP 10 ARTISTS OF 2011
1.) Katy Perry
2.) Nicki Minaj
3.) Adele
4.) The Throne
5.) Lady Gaga
6.) Rihanna
7.) Beyoncé
8.) Lil Wayne
9.) Drake
10.) Justin Bieber

THE HOLIDAY POLL (POLE?)
Harris Interactive just conducted a huge holiday poll. Here are some of the results:

Favorite Christmas Movie: "A Christmas Story"...but not by much. 20% of people chose that one...while 19% went with "It's A Wonderful Life", which NBC is airing on Christmas Eve this year. TBS will have your hookup for "A Christmas Story".

What a RIPOFF. EVERYONE knows "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" is THE.BEST.CHRISTMAS.MOVIE.EVER. DUH!

Favorite Christmas Special: "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". This is the animated version, not the JIM CARREY movie. It was chosen by 23% of respondents.

This was another close one. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" got 22%.

WOW, LADIES...WOW. SAD SAD SAD.
2,000 women were asked about their husbands and boyfriends...and NONE of them said their man was perfect. Not ONE.

The average woman rated her man as being about 69% perfect, which meant that they had a long list of things that needed to be fixed. Here are the five biggest complaints.

#1.) Not getting along with her family.

#2.) Using her toothbrush. (what? ewwwww)

#3.) Leaving the bathroom dirty.

#4.) Hating her friends.

#5.) Not being good with children.

Some of the classic complaints about men finished lower than expected. Driving complaints were #10. Being a mama's boy was #11. Burping and farting was #16. And watching too much sports was #19.

THE NICKELBACK STORY...

2011-12-15T23:35:00.003-05:00

...since people have asked, here's a quick run-down.

FEBRUARY 2010:
On a Saturday morning, I get tipped off by a friend that Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback, had been spotted at a bar in Salem, Ohio 2 nights prior. Understand, Salem is a small town (12,000), about 40 mins east of Canton, 20 mins SW of Youngstown.
I'm skeptical right away...sure he was! Pffft. Why is the lead singer of one of the biggest rock bands in the world...at a bar in SALEM, OHIO?!

When I say biggest, I MEAN biggest. 31 singles...21 went top 10, 11 went to #1. They've sold 50 MILLION albums in 10 years.

So I cautiously and skeptically go to the air with it. "Hey, supposedly Chad Kroeger has been around here recently, if you saw him I'd love to hear from you".
Well the phones lit up. People saw him having dinner. "My buddy saw him" at such and such a place. Within the hour, it came out that he was dating someone from the area and he was here to visit her. I let that part get out.

Well, you know how this is gonna go. EVERYONE that knows the girl or knows OF the girl starts to call in...I didn't air many of them. A few. I shy'd away from that angle of the story. I wanted to take the 'rockstar in small town' angle, which was the real story.

Monday afternoon, I took a recorder out to Salem and chatted with the bartenders and owners at Spanky's, the place where Chad had been seen 2 nights prior. That video is on Youtube.

One of the calls I had taken on Saturday afternoon was from someone who claimed to be a friend of the girl. She said the family had been aware that we were talking about it, but Chad had already left town. (I wanted to get him to the station)

Another of those calls that afternoon were from Mo. HE talked about it Monday evening and got MORE of the calls from people who knew the girl. He aired them, including one from her ex-boyfriend, who had a pretty heavy case of jealousy going on, as can be expected.

It went as far as our Program Director (our boss) getting a call from the management and record companies saying basically "You WILL stop talking about this". So, we stopped talking about it.

DECEMBER 2011:
Fast forward to last night, Mo is out at a bar in Canton...The Pub. Chad was in the bar last night with the girlfriend and someone who was there told him that Mo had come in. Chad walked up to Mo and asked to speak with him for a minute.

Chad told Mo that the girlfriend's family was very upset about the things that were said on the radio and were really hurt by them. Long story short, Chad says he's going to come on Mo's show the next night and clear the air. Mo doesn't believe that Chad will actually show, so Chad GAVE MO his personal credit card!
I held it in my hand...it's metal. An American Express Business card.

I heard about it like so many of you did, from The DeLuca Show this morning and via facebook.
I was at the station tonight...we were all kind of wondering if he was actually going to show up.

I was standing in the lobby of Q92 with our owner/GM Donnie, talking about whether he was going to show up or not. He said "well 2 cars just pulled in. Probably some listeners here to see if he shows up, or maybe it's Charlotte"...a few seconds later...Chad Kroeger, lead singer from Nickelback walked right in the front door of the station. Hand to God.

He said "Hi, I'm looking for Mo?"...funny, there were a few people standing around, NO ONE said anything like "omg he's here"...it was just silent. A few people followed Chad into the building. That was the girlfriend, her parents, I believe her brother and sister. I said "yep, he's right in there, I'll take you to him"...meanwhile Mo had seen them walk in and was coming around to meet Chad and his family.

They chatted in the lobby for a minute, Mo apologized to Chad's girlfriend's mom and dad and talked with them for a minute, invited Chad into the studio. If you were listening, you heard it all go down at that point. It all unfolded in a HURRY...

I never got a pic with Chad. They were on their way out to dinner tonight. I wanted to roll video on the interview and also wanted to make sure the news that Chad was about to be on was posted on our Q92 Facebook right away, this was happening in LITERALLY 90 seconds. So while he snapped a few pics with people, I was feverishly making sure everything was set.

If you missed the interview, here is a link.http://dl.dropbox.com/u/53549894/CHAD%20KROEGER%20from%20NICKELBACK%20live%20on%20Q92.mp3

I'm not too worried about the pic. We can get one next time he's in town. Including the "Hey, this is Chad from Nickelback and whenever I'm in town, I listen to Q92" liner....and it'll be 100% true!

SOCKS (this has nothing to do with socks)

2011-12-08T10:17:00.002-05:00

...unless you count me wearing some right now.

WORST CELL PROVIDERS:
"Consumer Reports" just released the results of their annual survey on cell phone service providers, and for the second year in a row, AT&T took its rightful spot in LAST PLACE.

But there's a difference. One year ago, they were the only ones with the iPhone. Now Verizon and Sprint both have it. So this time around, their bad rating COULD cost them customers who stuck with their bad service for the sake of the iPhone.

Verizon got the highest customer satisfaction ratings, just ahead of Sprint. T-Mobile was in third place...but significantly above AT&T.

ROCKIN' HO HO HO
"Rolling Stone" has put together a list of The Greatest Rock 'N' Roll Christmas Songs. There are 16 of them...but not all of them are "rock 'n' roll." In fact I would say, most are not.

Here's the list, which doesn't appear to be in any particular order:

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)", Darlene Love (1963)
"Happy Xmas (War Is Over)", John Lennon (1971)
"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", Bruce Springsteen (1985)
"All I Want For Christmas Is You", Mariah Carey (1994)
"Little Saint Nick", The Beach Boys (1963)
"Run Rudolph Run", Chuck Berry (1958)
"The Chanukah Song", Adam Sandler (1994)
"Frosty the Snowman", The Ronettes (1963)
"Do They Know It's Christmas?", Band Aid (1984)
"Wonderful Christmastime", Paul McCartney (1979)
"Jingle Bell Rock", Bobby Helms (1957)
"The Night Santa Went Crazy", "Weird Al" Yankovic (1996)
"Christmastime for the Jews", Darlene Love (2005)
"Christmas in Hollis", Run-D.M.C (1987)
"Christmas in Harlem", Kanye West (2010)
"The Christmas Waltz", She & Him (2011)

KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES
Every year, Jones Soda releases special limited-edition holiday flavors. And usually they have some RIDICULOUS and DISGUSTING-SOUNDING flavor, like green bean casserole or smoked salmon.

But this year, they're all pretty boring.

There's no awful-sounding flavor...nothing even close. The four flavors are Candy Cane, Pear Tree, Sugar Plum, and Gingerbread. All of those sound like they'll immediately cause diabetes, but not repulsion.

If you're interested, they sell a pack with one bottle of each flavor at JonesSoda.com for $8. And stores like Target generally carry the holiday flavors too.

SMELL YA LATER
Apparently, the way you smell is giving out more clues about you than you realized. And I don't mean that it's telling people you like Axe body spray, or that you don't like showering.

In a new study out of Poland, researchers found that people could accurately predict someone's major personality traits just by smelling them.

By smelling people's T-shirts, the participants in the study were able to predict whether other people were outgoing and extroverted, or neurotic and anxious. And they were particularly good at predicting those qualities in the opposite sex.

In other words, when you meet someone and start sizing them up as someone to date, your sense of smell is more involved than you realize.

I'm gonna try that next time. "Hi, I'm Rob. Can I SMELL you? Just..yeah, lemme.......ahhhhhhh yeah"

GIMME THE KEYS PLEASE
Usually when a cop pulls you over and you don't get a ticket, it's your lucky day. But that's assuming he doesn't steal your car and wreck it.

A 28-year-old police officer named Enrique Gonzalez pulled over a drunk driver in Newark, New Jersey back on November 15th. He was off-duty, but was still wearing his uniform.

And instead of giving the driver a ticket, Enrique told him to get out of his Ford F-450 pickup truck and sober up.

The unidentified driver says Enrique told him, "I'm not going to arrest you. I'm going to leave the keys in the tailpipe. Come back and get it when you're sober."

The driver left, but when he came back to get his truck, it was gone.

That's because Enrique STOLE the truck...drove it to his estranged wife's house in the nearby town of Garfield...and used it to RAM her 2011 Hyundai.

Internal affairs finally worked out the details of Enrique's arrest on Friday, and he's been charged with criminal mischief and receiving stolen property. His court date is December 15th.

TWITTER BEEF, FEATURING NICKELBACK
If you love NICKELBACK...and you're willing to admit it to yourself...would you mind tossing them a bone? They could really use some support.

After being bullied by the haters before performing at the halftime show of the Thanksgiving game between the Lions and the Packers...Nickelback is now taking shots from the Atlanta Braves pitching staff.

Relief pitcher PETER MOYLAN recently dissed the band after seeing a FOO FIGHTERS show. He Tweeted, "Note to @Nickelback: Please attend a @FooFighters concert. That's how it should be done Chad."

NICKELBACK responded with: Quote, "Foos are killer for sure. We're doing just fine too, thanks...? For you Pete, is watching Kimbrel better from the bench or on TV?"

That's CRAIG KIMBREL, who's also a Braves reliever. He was the National League Rookie of the Year, while Peter was injured and missed most of the season.

Since this is so random, this pseudo-beef could've been AWESOME. But unfortunately, it seems like it's over already.

The next day, Nickelback Tweeted, quote, "There is no beef [with] @PeterMoylan. We both took shots. We didn't take it seriously. To each their own. No harm meant, all the best to him."

And Peter responded, quote, "@Nickelback nothing like lighting a fire in the Twitter world! Where would we be without [smack] talking?

"For the record, watching Kimbrel deal is fantastic from anywhere."

50 CENT SAYS WEEZY IS "TURNING INTO 50 CENT"
50 CENT says LIL WAYNE is probably going to start getting some backlash at this point in his career...when he's trying to find NEW success, now that's he's already found initial success.

This is territory that 50 says he's very familiar with.

He tells "XXL" magazine, "[Lil Wayne] is turning into 50 Cent. He's going through that process of being successful, 'til people go, 'You know what? Get the [eff] outta here. We don't want you here no more.' Because you're successful.

"For me, the music is an artistic choice. I'll say, from the very beginning, that I can care less about a critic or how someone judges me for the actual music.

"People understand within hip-hop culture that I'm passionate about actually trying to do something different. I want to make a change in a different way. This is about me personally feeling like I wanna mean more after I'm dead, when I'm gone."

HEADLINE
"38% of People are Already Done With Their Christmas Shopping"
My response:
"Bahahahahahaha"

BIGGER N BETTER
Women are incredibly skilled at making guys think their packages are the PERFECT size. At some point, EVERY woman learns the catchphrase, "It's the perfect size for ME...if it were any bigger, it would be PAINFUL."

Lies. All lies.

Lawrence Barraclough is a sexuality expert, and he compiled data from several surveys to figure out what women are hoping for in a sexual partner's penis size.

He found that the average woman describes the "ideal" length to be 7.25 to 8.25 inches in length, and 6.25 to 6.5 inches in girth.

BUT...the average penis size is 5.5 to 6.3 inches in length, and 4.7 to 5.1 inches in girth. So most women's "ideal" size is longer and wider than what 98% of men are packing. Only 2% of men have junk that fits into that "ideal" range.

His research also found that basically NO women described a penis less than five inches long as satisfying. There was no max, though...there were women interested in lengths of 11 inches and up.

As for girth, no circumference smaller than 4.5 inches or bigger than 7.25 inches was considered satisfying.

THE 'YEAR END LISTS'...
And, it begins. The impending onslaught of "Best Music of the Year" lists has officially commenced...and this year, first blood goes to MTV.

MTV.com's "Bigger Than the Sound" column has released its 20 Best Albums of 2011 list...and top honors go to the indie pop band GIRLS for their album, "Father, Son, Holy Ghost".

As usual, this list is a blend of stuff you've never heard...alongside mainstream albums that you may or may not feel comfortable calling "the best music of the year."

Here's the list:
1.) "Father, Son, Holy Ghost", Girls
2.) "21", Adele
3.) "Take Care", Drake
4.) "David Comes to Life", [Effed] Up (A Canadian hardcore punk band.)
5.) "Skying", The Horrors
6.) "Let England Shake", PJ Harvey
7.) "Bon Iver", Bon Iver
8.) "Watch the Throne", Jay-Z and Kanye West
9.) "In the Mountain, in the Cloud", Portugal. The Man ...A band originally from Wasilla, Alaska...a.k.a. the home of SARAH PALIN.
10.) "Born This Way", Lady Gaga
11.) "Slave Ambient", The War on Drugs
12.) "Nostalgia, Ultra", Frank Ocean...He's in the hip-hop group Odd Future.
13.) "Helplessness Blues", Fleet Foxes
14.) "House of Balloons and Thursday", The Weeknd
15.) "Ceremonials", Florence and the Machine
16.) "El Camino", The Black Keys
17.) "How to Get to Heaven from Jacksonville, FL", Gospel Music ...That's a band name. It isn't actually gospel music, it's "post-punk." For the record, this is an example of how you can choose an extremely un-Google-friendly band name.
18.) "Talk That Talk", Rihanna
19.) "We're New Here", A collaborative album featuring old-school soul singer and poet Gil Scott-Heron, who just died this year, and Jamie XX of the British indie pop group The XX.
20.) "4", Beyoncé

You can find their write-ups on each of these albums at MTV.com.

From the comments under the story, the big snubs seem to be BRITNEY SPEARS' "Femme Fatale" and LIL WAYNE'S "Tha Carter 4". But wasn't the last project better for BOTH of those artists?

CAR VS. GIRLFRIEND

This survey comes from England...but since American men are CLEARLY manlier than British men, it's GOT to be true over here too.

According to the survey, the majority of men...just over 50%...say that they find it easier to maintain their CAR than their relationship.

Here are some other things the survey found...

10% say they sometimes find themselves more captivated by the curves on cars than the curves on their partner.

14% talk more about their cars than their partner. Only 3% of women admitted the same thing.

Spending money on a car makes the average guy THREE TIMES HAPPIER than spending money on his partner.

And finally, if they had to get rid of their car or end their relationship...8% would choose their CAR over their partner.

SNEAK IT IN
The holidays are a time to reunite with family, which makes certain things tricky: Try having intimate relations with your wife when you have relatives sleeping on an air mattress in the next room.

Thankfully, we have four ways you can sneak in some vacation sex with your spouse over the holidays...courtesy of the good people over at Astroglide sex lube.

#1.) Long showers: You get some privacy when you're in the bathroom, so take advantage of it. When your guests hear the water running, they won't know the two of you are in there together.

#2.) Set the alarm: If both of you wake up in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep...or before everyone gets up...you should be able to cut loose. Just don't get too crazy, or you'll wake people up and defeat the purpose.

#3.) Take a nap: After preparing a big meal for everyone, you can announce that you need to lay down for awhile. And your spouse can find an excuse to check in on you.

#4.) Bribery: Offer to pay for a big family outing to go bowling or see a movie. Then come up with a reason that you and your spouse have to stay home.

SUNDAY NOT FUNDAY

2011-12-04T11:30:00.002-05:00

um......here's some shtuff.

IF YOU *WANNA* GET WITH GAGA...
...cause I sure DON'T! But maybe you do.
LADY GAGA doesn't exactly seem to ooze sex appeal, but if you're someone who IS interested in her, here's what she's looking for:

According to Britain's "Sun" tabloid, Lady Gaga describes her type as, "[Ranging] from a really big [manhood] to a degree at Harvard."

She adds that she's also attracted to, "Talent and perseverance and pushing the boundaries of love and acceptance."

That being said, it's unclear how available she is. We've heard that Lady Gaga is hooking up with TAYLOR KINNEY from "The Vampire Diaries".

MIDNIGHT BLACK FRIDAY IS HERE TO STAY...
Stores posted all-time record sales on Black Friday and the ones that opened at midnight or earlier...including Walmart, Best Buy, Target, and Macy's...all reported enormous sales. SO...expect those early openings to be back next year.

Terry Lundgren is the CEO of Macy's. He says they LOVED the midnight opening because it brought a younger crowd they usually don't get on Black Friday. Then, around 4:00 A.M., the usual, older Black Friday crowd came as a second wave.

HOLIDAY STRESS? BLAME THE DECORATIONS!!
Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, a lot of people will be breaking out the Christmas decorations. But if you're not careful, apparently you can ruin the holiday season with poor placement.

Robyn Bentley says she's an expert on the proper placement of household items. From now I'm going to call myself an expert on frozen microwave dinners, how's that?

She also calls herself the Feng Shui Diva. I'm a guy so I don't even know what the HELL that is, let alone how to pronounce it.

She points out that many families have more sickness over the holiday season, people argue more, and feel more depressed...and she blames the decorations. So here are her decorating tips:

#1.) No red lights on the East or South sides of your house: According to Robyn, there's illness energy in the East and South sections of every house. And red lights add the "fire" element to your home.

Oh....Lord.

Obviously, you don't want such an intense element in areas of the house filled with illness energy. So use silver, white, and gold there instead. Obviously.

#2.) Don't create clutter or obstacles: First of all, squeezing past the talking, dancing snowman to get into the kitchen is just going to increase everyone's stress level. But clutter also slows the "chi flow" in your home.

The what? Is that something to do with Chicago?? I hate the White Sox too, maybe she's on to something with that.

#3.) Turn the Christmas lights off at bedtime: Too much light makes your body think it's daytime, and you won't get restful sleep. So turn off the holiday light display before hitting the sack.

SEASONS GREETINGS
I kinda like getting the Christmas cards in the mail.....hint hint!!! (especially when money is in them!)

According to a new survey, 63% of people say they plan to mail a holiday card this year, whether it's a Christmas card or letter to all of their family or friends or just a regular Hallmark card.

People also say they prefer hard-copy cards to e-cards, email, and phone calls.

HUGGERS UNITE!
HUGGING plays a way bigger role in your life than you ever quite realized.

According to a new study out of England, the average person wants a hug THIRTEEN TIMES a day. Each of those hugs averages 9.5 seconds. (That seems like a LOT of hugging for an awful LONG time to me...)

And every month, we spend one hour hugging. That means you spend somewhere around 40 FULL DAYS of your life hugging.

The study also found that 69% of people turn to their significant other for a hug. (And hopefully 100% turn to them for a 69.)

14% look to close friends when they want a hug...9% look to their parents.

About 14% said that they do their hugging in private because public displays of affection are inappropriate.

33% said it's inappropriate to hug in the workplace.

THE DREAM HOME
A new survey asked people to describe their dream house and, basically, the average person wants something that seems pretty obscure...an isolated, rural house on a lot of land that's also very convenient to work and shopping.

Here's the breakdown of the average dream house...

In a rural area, on at least a half-acre of land.

So isolated that you can get privacy without having to close the curtains.

BUT...less than 10 miles from work, less than five miles from the nearest town, and less than two miles away from school, the grocery store, and the doctor.

And despite the isolation, people want good neighbors who they're on a first-name basis with.

The only things people want from the house itself are four bedrooms, a study, a dining room, and a kitchen with a breakfast nook.

As for any "fantasy" elements of the house, there was only one that made the list...about half of the people polled wanted an indoor swimming pool.

About 10% of people surveyed said they were already living in their dream house. 25% of people say they're saving for it. The rest don't think they'll ever achieve their fantasy.

BURNING THOSE WINTER CALORIES
Chances are you gained a little weight this holiday season. or will soon. So here's something to keep you motivated: Four winter activities that can burn 500 calories in one hour.

#1.) Skiing and Snowboarding. It depends on how much you weigh, and how tough the slopes are. But you can generally expect to burn between 350 and 500 calories an hour.

#2.) Ice Skating. Just skating around in a circle for 60 minutes can burn between 400 and 500 calories.

#3.) Snowshoeing. Not like anybody DOES this. But if you want to strap on snowshoes and go for an hour-long hike, you can easily burn 500 calories or more.

#4.) Sledding. Obviously the actual sledding-downhill part doesn't burn that many calories. But the rest of the time, you're just walking uphill. So one hour of sledding can burn about 400 to 500 calories for the average person.

WEEZY & EMINEM DO A WORLD TOUR:
Peep the link: http://www.vibe.com/posts/lil-wayne-announces-world-tour-eminem

ANNND PLUMPING ON UP!
A new Gallup poll found that we're getting heavier, and we don't seem to care.

The average American is just under 20 pounds heavier than they were in 1990. Men weighed 180 pounds back then, and women weighed 142.

Now the average American male weighs 196 pounds, an increase of 16 pounds in 21 years. The average woman is up 18 pounds to 160.

Even our "goal weight" has increased over that time. Most people name a target weight that's ten pounds heavier than it was in 1990.

Back then, men said their ideal weight was 171 pounds. That's increased to 181.

The ideal weight for women went from 129 pounds in 1990 to 138 now, an increase of nine pounds.

And even though nearly 70% of American adults are considered overweight or obese by the CDC, just 39% think they're overweight. 56% of us think our weight is "just right."

OHIO STATE SAYS NO WAY!!!
We've all heard that men think about sex every seven seconds. According to a new study, that's a myth. Men don't think about sex THAT much. BUT...men DO think about sex more than women.

The study was conducted at The Ohio State University and had both men and women record how often they think about sex, food, and sleep on a daily basis.

The average man thought about sex 19 times per day. That's not once every seven seconds, obviously. To think about sex every seven seconds, you'd need to think about sex 8,000 times a day.

The average woman thought about sex 10 times a day...which is about half of what men reported.

The man who thought about sex the most in the study thought about it 388 times a day. That's about 24 times per hour. The woman who thought about sex the most thought about it 140 times a day, or almost nine times an hour. I'm pretty sure I know who that girl is.

NO ONE in the study of either gender had zero sexual thoughts per day.

The study also found that, in addition to 19 sexual thoughts, men think about FOOD 18 times a day and sleep 11 times. Women think about sex 10 times, food 15 times, and sleep about 8-and-a-half times.

72% OF GUYS...
This poll asked guys if they've ever used a pick-up line. 72%, or about three-fourths, said NO. 28% said yes. And here are some of the most popular lines they've used...

8% have said to a woman, "Is that a ladder in your pants or a stairway to heaven?"

7% have said, "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day."

And 5% have tried, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

RANDOM:
Two-Thirds of Expectant Parents Google Potential Names for Their Baby...To Make Sure It's Not a Stripper or Serial Killer's Name

NICKELBACK SAYS EFF THE HATERS
NICKELBACK says their fans always come out to support them, so they're not concerned about the haters. Specifically, the ones that supported an online petition to have them removed from the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving game halftime show.

Singer CHAD KROEGER says, "We get [hate like] that all the time. We've never really been a critics' darling or anything like that...The people speak. We sell a lot of records and fill a lot of arenas, and we don't hear many complaints."

Well, I'll give them that.

The petition picked up over 55,000 supporters. But Chad is right...according to their label, Nickelback has sold over 50 million albums worldwide, and has had over a dozen hits on the "Billboard" charts.

Of course, "the people" started that petition, not music critics. Every band has haters...Regardless, Nickelback seems to take that in stride.

MUSICAL TURNOFFS:
Tastebuds.fm recently conducted a poll to determine the Top 10 Musical Turnoffs according to their users. The site defined these acts as, quote, "The bands you just can't stand...REALLY can't stand."

Perhaps not surprisingly, NICKELBACK came in at #1...followed by JUSTIN BIEBER. (OK, so Canada = Good at healthcare, bad at fostering good music.)

Here's the Top 10, which is filled with some predictable names:

1.) Nickelback
2.) Justin Bieber
3.) Lady Gaga
4.) Ke$ha
5.) Coldplay
6.) U2
7.) Creed
8.) Katy Perry
9.) Lil Wayne
10.) Britney Spears.

LADY GAGA...
...in the new issue of "Vanity Fair". She says: "I Have an Inability to Know What Happiness Feels Like with a Man. I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that's what intimidates them is not my purse, it's my mind.

"It starts out good. Then when I'm in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it's all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.

"It's a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone."

DREADING THE HOLIDAYS: HERE'S WHY
I love this list because it's so not politically correct, and so HONEST. "Consumer Reports" surveyed more than 1,000 Americans and asked them what they're dreading about the holiday season. Here's the full top 11:

#1.) Crowds and long lines, 68%

#2.) Gaining weight, 37%

#3.) Getting into debt, 37%

#4.) Gift shopping, 28%

#5.) Traveling, 25%

#6.) SEEING CERTAIN RELATIVES, 24%

#7.) Nonstop seasonal music, 23% (none of that on Q92!)

#8.) Disappointing gifts, 19%

#9.) Having to attend holiday parties and events, 16%

#10.) HAVING TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE, 15%

#11.) Holiday tipping, 12%

SHOPLIFTING ON THE RISE...
When I look at the photos and watch the videos of the mob scenes from Black Friday, I wonder, "How do these stores keep people from stealing EVERYTHING?" And the answer is...they don't.

The National Association of Shoplifting Prevention just released some new statistics...and it turns out shoplifting is WAY bigger than you ever realized. Check this out...

Statistically, one out of every ELEVEN people who walks into a store shoplifts something. Seriously.

Retailers are set to lose $119 BILLION this year to shoplifting. That's 1.45% of total sales.

Only 3% of shoplifters are pros.

70% of shoplifters didn't go to the store planning to steal...but saw an opportunity and took it.

75% of shoplifters are adults, most of whom have jobs. And 35% have help from a corrupt employee.

Shoplifting is up 6% compared to last year.

AND WHAT ARE WE STEALING?
"Adweek" magazine surveyed store security pros from around the country and asked them what items are shoplifted the most from their stores. Here's the top ten:

#1.) Filet mignon. (LOL!!!!) "Luxury meat" thefts are up 21% since 2009 and are the most commonly stolen items from grocery stores.

#2.) Expensive liquors. Stolen more by alcoholics than underage kids.

#3.) Small electric tools. This covers everything from power drills to electric toothbrushes.

#4.) iPhones. iPhones, plus other small electronics, get stolen all the time. Approximately 100,000 laptops are stolen from stores every year.

#5.) Gillette Mach 4 razor blades. Razor blade thefts account for 2.7% of all store losses.

#6.) AXE body spray. AXE is the most stolen brand of deodorant, body wash, and body spray.

#7.) Polo. Polo is the most stolen designer brand, and Tommy Hilfiger is second. Clothing theft is up 31% since 2009.

#8.) Let's Rock Elmo. This Elmo toy, along with all the other hot toys for this Christmas season, are major targets.

#9.) Chanel No. 5. Designer fragrances account for 4% of losses in stores where they're sold.

#10.) Nikes.

I-O-WA!
The Good News: ASHTON KUTCHER returned to his hometown last week, and was swarmed by girls. The Bad News: Ashton's hometown is in Iowa. (I kid, I kid. I LOVE the cornfed Iowa girls! Seriously!)

Ashton and some friends hit a few bars in Iowa City, and a source says, "He was drinking beer, and girls kept coming up to him. He loved the attention. Girls were hugging him and shaking his hand.

"He was swarmed by girls. A few tried to convince him to go to a strip club...but he declined!"

FACEBOOK FTW!
Here's a great shot in the Facebook-versus-Twitter rivalry. Twitter only lets you post updates that are 140 characters. That's their signature characteristic.

Well...Facebook is going in the OTHER direction. Yesterday, they announced that they'll let you post a status update or wall post that's 63,206 characters.

In other words, their max is 451.5 times higher than Twitter's.

The previous max on Facebook was 5,000 characters, which they established in September. Before then, you could only post 500 characters.

The 63,206 characters basically means you'll NEVER hit the limit. To compare, a full-length novel is about 500,000 characters...which means it would only take you eight Facebook posts to put up an entire novel.

I AM THANKFUL...

2011-11-24T06:42:00.002-05:00

...for delicious chocolate chip cookies that I just ate. For without them, Amos wouldn't be very famous.

...for chapstick. I tend to be a lip-biter. ....uh. Anyway, it keeps my lips juicy. Or something.

...for a remote control. What the HELL is on Channel 3 right now? ::clicks off::

...that I have the best friends money can buy. Really. They cost $20 but you can't beat them!

...that my hearts a stereo.

...that I don't work for a guy named "Wade". How could anyone take a Wade seriously?

...for shampoo that leaves my hair full of body. Wait, I don't have hair.

...that *I'M* not cooking today. Wait, I rarely do that anyway.

...for brain farts so I can sit here and stare at the screen. ::Stares::

...for women!! hey, we wouldn't be here without them. And who doesn't love a beautiful woman with a cute ass?

...for cute asses on women.

...for breasts. ....it's Thanksgiving, right? TURKEY you perv!

...for the fact that I WILL NOT be Black Friday shopping tomorrow.

...for social media. Seriously, how would we all be able to stay in touch with eachother like we do without it?

...for dentists. I may need one soon :/

...for my mattress. It feels nice.

...for Sheetz. Stan and Steve, you are visionaries. You should win the nobel prize.

...for soap that makes me smell purdee.

...that gas is $3.07 - hey, it beats $3.49

...for the TURKEY BOWL on Fox 8! OMG how could I forget about this! They go to a Giant Eagle, set up a ton of canned good and contestants 'bowl' with frozen turkeys. Lol!

...that I DON'T work in retail. And the only time I ever did was a grocery store (Fishers) in high school.

...for pizza. Pizza is awesome. Who invented that? I think his last name was Hut. Or maybe John?

...for pizza places that don't end in "John" cause his pizza really sucks.

...that it will be in the 60's for highs tomorrow and Saturday! Enjoy!

...that I can like your status when I'm too lazy to say anything on it.

...that someone decided to put RASPBERRY in ICED TEA! What a GENIUS move!

...for coffee.

...for biscuits.

...maybe I should eat something. Wait, that's not thankful for anything...

...to work for Q92 and have a cool boss that makes sure we always win!

...for this chair I'm sitting in. It's comfy.

...that you sat and read all this junk. HAPPY TURKEY! Gobble?

FINALLY

2011-11-19T10:41:00.002-05:00

...a new blog!

THE AVERAGE WOMAN CAN ONLY KEEP A SECRET FOR 32 MINUTES
Remember this the next time you confide in someone. Odds are you only have about a half an hour before your secret starts spreading.

According to a new survey by a British skin care brand called Simple, the average woman can only keep a secret for 32 MINUTES before she tells someone else.

The survey was only conducted for women, so we don't know if men are as willing to immediately leak information.

The survey also found that about 10% of women say they can't keep ANY secret, no matter how personal it is. 13% say they tell secrets specifically because they want gossip to spread.

Almost half said that they share secrets because they can't handle being the only person who knows.

10% say they've had a friendship end because either they leaked a secret or their friend leaked a secret...and a fight over that tore them apart.

And finally, 85% say they LOVE hearing gossip from other people.

PINKERS WANTS MORE KIDDERS...
Just five months after giving birth to her daughter Willow, PINK wants husband CAREY HART to fill her uterus again. And again. And again.

She says, "We want a basketball team. We want lots and lots and lots."

Not that she's not enjoying Willow. She says, "She stops crying when I sing. My dogs leave the room and she stops crying. I sing 'You Are My Sunshine' and I make up songs for her because I'm goofy."

GQ MEN OF THE YEAR
JAY-Z says he WILL change diapers when his wife BEYONCÉ gives birth.

In the new issue of "GQ"...which happens to be its annual Men of the Year issue...Jay says, "Providing...that's not love. Being there...that's more important.

"I mean, we see that. We see that with all these rich socialites. They're crying out for attention; they're hurting for love. I'm not being judgmental...I'm just making an observation.

"They're crying out for the love that maybe they didn't get at home, and they got everything, all the material things that they need and want. So we know that's not the key."

Also Making "GQ's" Men of the Year List Are:

Justin Timberlake, Jimmy Fallon, Michael Fassbender and...MILA KUNIS. (???) Yes, they named her Knockout of the Year.

The issue comes out November 22nd.

DROPPIN' COIN ON TURKEYS...
Last week, the American Farm Bureau Federation released their annual study on the cost of serving Thanksgiving dinner. And they found the average cost of a 10-person dinner, including turkey, lots of sides, and dessert, is $49.20.

We aren't sure what grocery store they're shopping at...because NO ONE here in the real world thinks they can host Thanksgiving that cheap.

In a new nationwide survey by Harris Interactive, only 31% of Americans who are hosting Thanksgiving think they'll spend under $100. Spending $50 is such a ridiculous notion that Harris didn't even ask about that small of an amount.

52% of people believe it will cost them between $100 and $250. 17% of people will spend over $250. That means, total, seven out of 10 Americans will spend at LEAST $100 to host Thanksgiving.

The main way people plan to save money is using coupons, at 60%.

37% will shop at a warehouse store like Costco...and 34% will ask their guests to bring a dish.

10% are planning to play a VERY dangerous game...they're planning to wait until the last possible second to go shopping, hoping that stores will slash prices to empty out their inventory.

NO VACAY FOR YOU!
I guess Americans really are afraid to go on vacation...in this economy, you feel like the second you leave your desk, someone else is going to scurry in there and replace you.

According to a new survey by JetBlue, more than HALF of Americans will end this year with unused vacation days.

A LOT of vacation days. The average worker who isn't taking all of their time off will end the year with 11 leftover vacation days.

39% say the reason they aren't taking their vacation days is they're reluctant to ask their bosses for time off...like it makes them seem less committed to their jobs.

SHOVE THAT MCMUFFIN UP YOUR BLANKING....
Look, we've ALL had that moment where we ALMOST freaked out at McDonald's, over their evil policy of switching from breakfast to lunch and REFUSING to serve certain things on the menu. Or the Saturday morning DASH to get there by 10:59! (Reminder: Sheetz serves breakfast 24/7)

This woman actually did it.

JUST after 3:00 A.M. on Sunday, 22-year-old Shanaya Edgell of Janesville, Wisconsin and her 40-year-old boyfriend went through a McDonald's drive thru...because Shanaya REALLY wanted a cheeseburger. Look at the time. This is clearly a drunk meal.

But there was a problem. Since it was after 3:00 A.M., the McDonald's had already switched over to their breakfast menu. Which means they would NOT give her a cheeseburger.

Now this would make me HAPPY. I love some drunk breakfast food! But Shanaya FLIPPED OUT.

She started by punching her boyfriend a bunch of times, then got out of the car and climbed onto the hood so he couldn't drive away. She caused such a scene that the police were called in to calm her down.

When they got there, she told them she was, quote, "freaking out over" McDonald's switching their menu. She was arrested for disorderly conduct.

JUSTIN DOES THE BALL
If you are on my facebook (and you SHOULD be!), you probably saw me post the link to JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE's story of the MARINE CORPS ball that he attended.

CORPORAL KELSEY DE SANTIS...who was JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S date to the Marine Corps Ball in Richmond, Virginia over the weekend, says he was a "complete gentleman."

Speaking on the "Today" show, Kelsey said, "I didn't know what to expect really. I was super, super excited."

She added, "It was a great time. He had a smile on his face the whole time."

As for her favorite moment of the evening, Kelsey said, "The sweetest moment was definitely right after the ceremony ended and being able to see his face. You could see he genuinely cared about what he saw."

She added, "We were on the dance floor, having a good time at the table, joking and laughing. So, it was, altogether, really great."

MOVE LESS...
I don't know if this is because of the economy...or because we're just lazier than ever. But either way, we aren't buying boxes, packing up our crap, and moving anymore.

According to new data from the U.S. Census Bureau, only 11.6% of Americans moved to a different county or state in 2010. That's the lowest percentage EVER RECORDED.

The Census Bureau started tracking movement in 1948, meaning last year had the fewest people moving in at least 62 years.

The moving rate peaked in 1985, when 20.2% of Americans changed counties or states. It's been gradually decreasing ever since.

The data also found that 59% of Americans currently live in the state where they were born.

Louisiana has the highest number of people living there who were born there, at 78.8%. It's followed by Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. Yep, don't believe the hype that people are fleeing here. Apparently they aren't!

Alaska, Arizona, Florida, Nevada, and Washington, D.C. have the lowest rates...less than 40% of their residents were born there. And Nevada has the lowest rate of all, less than 25% of the people who live there were born there.

SO IF YOU *DO* MOVE...
Where are you moving TO?

The Census Bureau just released data on moving in 2010, and it included the ten most common state-to-state moves for the year.

And number one is...moving from the highest-profile liberal state to the highest-profile conservative state. That's California-to-Texas. Here's the full top ten:

#1.) California-to-Texas, 68,959 movers.

#2.) New York-to-Florida, 55,011 movers...many of whom are probably grandmas.

#3.) Florida-to-Georgia, 49,901 movers.

#4.) California-to-Arizona, 47,164 movers.

#5.) New Jersey-to-Pennsylvania, 42,456 movers. (New Jersian's want to get out of Jersey!)

#6.) New York-to-New Jersey, 41,374 movers. (New Yorkers want out of New Yawk!)

#7.) California-to-Washington, 39,468 movers.

#8.) Texas-to-California, 36,582 movers.

#9.) Georgia-to-Florida, 35,615 movers.

#10.) California-to-Nevada, 35,472 movers.

perhaps more blog tomorrow!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2011-10-29T08:23:00.002-04:00

Evil laugh. Yeah. Spooky.

Sup? How ya DO-EN? Here's some shtuff.

JOHN MAYER IS RECOVERING...
JOHN MAYER is currently recovering from surgery on his vocal chords.

Last month, John revealed that he had a "granuloma"...or an inflamed mass of tissue in his throat, near his vocal chords.

In a new blog post, he says he's, "on complete vocal rest for a month or more." (For more, you can read John's blog at JHNMYR.tumblr.com.)

NICKI MINAJ DOESN'T GO FOR RICH DUDES...
NICKI MINAJ has all kinds of male suitors flaunting cash and jewelry in her face...but she says she isn't attracted to that.

She says, "I may be smiling in their face, but my antenna is up (wonder if THEIR antenna is up. HEY!!!)...when they're trying to show off their cash or their watch, it's an immediate turn-off.

"You can't run game on [me]. I'm always 10 steps ahead of you."

So what IS Nicki into? She explains, "I do like a dope nose profile...one that's straight on the side. And I like full lips. I've never kissed someone who didn't have full lips."

Excuse me, I need to go find a mirror and examine my kissers.

50 SAYS THE WORLD IS EFFED UP
Even though he's basically a corporation himself, 50 CENT has dumped a big anti-corporate rant on his website, ThisIs50.com. He says, "The world is so [effed] up. People don't seem to care anymore.

"People seem to have distanced themselves from other people's problems, they have been programmed not to care! Politicians are corrupt...so many companies are corrupt and taking excessive profits...and we keep allowing this [stuff] to happen."

Hasn't 50 Cent heard about this "Occupy" stuff? People ARE beginning to not only care...but to try to do something about it.

ORIGINS OF HALLOWEEN STUFF...
#1.) Trick-or-treating. It comes from an old tradition where poor children in England and Ireland would go door-to-door praying for the dead on All Saints' Day.

After World War Two, children in the U.S. started doing the door-to-door walk, and people started giving them candy...which led to trick-or-treating.

#2.) Jack-o-lanterns. This comes from an Irish legend about a farmer named Jack who would play tricks on the devil AND God. That got him banned from heaven and hell, so he roamed the world as a flame inside carved vegetables.

Jack-o-lanterns became part of Irish superstition too. People would carve turnips and put them outside their houses to scare away evil spirits. Americans used pumpkins instead because there were more of them and they were easier to carve.

#3.) Haunted houses. These don't come from any tradition...except the tradition of people finding a way to MAKE MONEY off holidays.

In the 1950s, Junior Chamber International clubs realized they could make money off haunted houses that played off the Halloween spirit, so they did...and everyone else followed their lead.

I AIN'T 'FRAID OF NO GHOST!
Here's one of those "Hey, it's Halloween, let's do a survey" surveys. According to a bed and breakfast website, 15% of people say they've definitely seen a ghost in their lifetime.

The survey also found that 44% say they've visited someplace that was actually haunted...37% would like to visit a real haunted house...and 27.5% would want to spend the night in a haunted house.

GIVE UP WHAT?
Remember this survey when a guy leaves you because he's not sexually satisfied, and you turn to Facebook for comfort.

A new survey by "Cosmopolitan" asked women if they'd rather give up sex or their computer, cell phone, or Facebook. And sex REALLY didn't fare so well. Don't get me wrong, I like FB as much as the next guy, but...

57% of women would rather have their computer for a week than sex...50% would rather have their cell phone for a week than sex...and 20% even said they need Facebook for a week more than they need sex.

OH, HI...
I was just thinking, "It's been, like, four hours since someone released a new study about porno, I hope someone fills the void soon." So, well played University of Sunderland in England...you stepped up.

And actually, they somehow pulled off a massive international survey on pornography that's actually interesting. Here are some of the preliminary results.

#1.) Women 18-to-25 are the biggest porno fiends. You'd never guess it...but they asked people how much they watch porno and how important it is to their sex life. And women 18-to-25 had the highest numbers by far.

Between ages 26 and 35, the genders basically even out their porn frequency and importance. After that, it becomes more frequently viewed and more important to men.

#2.) Here are the main reasons people watch porno, in order. "I feel horny"..."I'm bored, can't relax, or can't sleep"..."I WANT to feel horny"..."I don't have anything better to do"..."It's a good way to enjoy my sexual interests/fetishes."

The five least popular reasons for watching porno are: "I saw a pop-up ad and clicked it"..."I want to see things I shouldn't do"..."I want to see things I wouldn't do"..."I like the drama of the stories"...and "For a laugh."

#3.) Here are the main places people go for porno, in order. Free porno sites, like Porntube or YouPorn...downloads..."amateur" websites...sexual fiction sites...and specialty fetish sites.

Notice that DVDs and magazines didn't even make the list...they both finished in the middle of the pack.

The places people go the least are: Porn star pay-per-view sites...porno studio pay-per-view sites...live sex cam sites...hook-up or AdultFriendFinder-type sites...and chatrooms.

DETROIT: WE NEED A NAP
That's what they're saying in the Motor City. Two groups that don't get mentioned together very often are the Centers for Disease Control and Sleepy's, The Mattress Professionals. That's a chain of mattress stores (we don't have any stores locally.

But Sleepy's used CDC data on the sleep habits of 350,000 people, and came up with a list of the most sleep-deprived cities in America.

The most sleep-deprived city is Detroit, which, as Sleepy's points out, might be because it's also one of the most dangerous cities in the country.
Are they saying no one is sleeping cause they're out murdering folks?

The rest of the top five are:
Birmingham, Alabama, which is also one of the least-healthy cities in the U.S.
Oklahoma City, which has seen a huge rise in prescription drug abuse.
New Orleans, which was hit by Hurricane Katrina six years ago. (they stretched for a reason on some of these cities.)
And New York.

Sleepy's also pointed out that most of the sleep-deprived cities are east of the Mississippi, and known for crime, recession, or poor health.

Three of the five most-rested cities are in California. San Diego tops the list, followed by Dallas; Richmond, Virginia; San Jose, and San Francisco.

SHE MAY BE BAD, BUT SHE'S PERFECTLY GOOD AT IT...
RIHANNA was in Paris last week...and according to the British tabloids, she spent $1,500 at a SEX SHOP called Lovestore.

Her purchases included sexy panties and other lingerie, toys, leather handcuffs and scented candles.

A source says, "She knew exactly what she was after and didn't want any assistance picking out items. A blacked-out car parked on the pavement right outside the shop...There was no dithering.

"She was grinning from ear to ear and seemed to be in a hurry to get back to her hotel."

CHEATIN' FOOLS...
Thinking about having an affair? Good news: You have a surprisingly decent chance that your significant other will take you back once they inevitably find out.

According to a survey, these are the latest numbers on cheating. And they show some pretty bad/sad trends....

#1.) Tons of people are cheating. Shockingly, 47% of people...or almost HALF...admit they've cheated on a partner.

#2.) A decent amount of cheaters are getting away with it. 63% of cheaters have been caught...meaning you have almost a two-in-three chance of being nailed, but more than a one-in-three chance of getting away with it.

#3.) 42% of the people surveyed said they've taken back someone who cheated on them. That means you've got about a TWO-IN-FIVE CHANCE of being forgiven for an affair.

30% of people said they would actually give their partner PERMISSION to cheat on them with a celebrity. (.....hi!! do I count? kidding)

Of the cheaters, 25% say DRUNKENNESS was their primary motivation...and 20% say they were getting REVENGE on their partner for cheating on them.

WHAT YOUR CANDY SAYS ABOUT YOU...
This is pretty much nonsense, but Gawker has a list of different types of candy, and what they supposedly say about your personality if you hand them out on Halloween. Here are the top six.

#1.) Fun-Sized Candy Bars. Basically, it means you're normal. You care about the tradition of Halloween, but not TOO much. And you know it's what most kids WANT.

#2.) Candy That Doesn't Have Chocolate. Gawker says if you give out things like Skittles, Sweet Tarts, or Starburst, it means you care about Halloween, but you want to be DIFFERENT.

Apparently ignoring kids' love of chocolate makes you some kind of trailblazer.

#3.) Candy Corn. The last time kids were EXCITED to get candy corn was sometime between 1950 and 1960. Or my friend Ashley yesterday. So if you give it out now, it means you're either out of touch, or trying to recreate your own childhood.

#4.) Tootsie Rolls. You could make the same argument here, but according to Gawker, Tootsie Rolls are one of the BEST things to give out. They say Tootsie Rolls make you come across as simple, but classic.

#5.) Lollipops. It means you're not into Halloween, and might even leave your porch light off. But you want to have something in case kids knock on your door anyway.

$6.) Full-Sized Candy Bars. It means one of two things: You're either trying to impress your neighbors. Or you're so emotionally scarred that you desperately need the approval of nine-year-olds.

WANNA SNAG SOMEONE TONIGHT?
If you're single, Halloween is a GOLD MINE for meeting people. Costumes just make EVERYTHING easier.

The people at the social dating site Zoosk.com just released the results of their survey on Halloween and pick-ups...here's what they found, and the advice you should follow...

Men most prefer women in SEXY costumes. 71% of men said that's their favorite. (DUH)

Women most prefer men in FUNNY costumes, although it's not as overwhelming. 51% said funny is the best.

Only 5% of men and 12% of women say they'd be attracted to someone in a SCARY costume.

Group costumes with your friends aren't the way to go if you're looking to hook-up. 47% of both men and women say they would be reluctant to approach someone in a group costume, mostly because they seem "taken."

44% of men and 42% of women say they'd be willing to go out on a date on Halloween night.

CANCER STICKS....
According to a new survey by Yahoo, the perception of smoking has done a full 180 in the past 40 or 50 years.

Across all age groups, 57% of men and 71% of women say that smoking is, quote, "VERY UNCOOL."

61% of people under 34 say they've NEVER smoked.

58% of women and 49% of men say they would NOT date a smoker.

As for the smokers surveyed . . .

Only 28% admit they're addicted.

72% say, "I choose when I smoke and can go without at any time."

SATURDAY SPECIAL

2011-10-15T10:36:00.002-04:00

I have no idea what's special about it. Probably nothing. But here we go.

AMERICAN MUSIC AWARD NOMINATIONS!
My favorite music-awards show. Now, that we've all had the chance to regroup from the SHEER HYSTERIA of Columbus Day Weekend, we can get back to the REAL business at hand:

The nominees for the "39th Annual American Music Awards" were announced...and this year, ADELE topped everyone with four nominations.

Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Lil Wayne, Katy Perry, Rihanna and The Band Perry followed with three nominations apiece.

AMA nominees are determined using a formula that weighs artists' music sales, prevalence on radio and TV, Internet streams and videos...plus, "additional online metrics," which include "social-media activity."

ABC will air the ceremony live on Sunday, November 20th. So far, only two performers have been announced: Katy Perry and Pitbull.

As usual, YOU will choose the winners. Voting is open NOW at AMAvote.com. Before casting your vote, you'll have to sign in through Facebook...or provide an email address to register. You can vote up through November 11th.

Here are your nominees . . .

Artist of the Year:
--Adele
--Lady Gaga
--Katy Perry
--Lil Wayne
--Taylor Swift

Favorite Female Artist - Pop / Rock:
--Adele
--Katy Perry
--Lady Gaga

Favorite Male Artist - Pop / Rock:
--Justin Bieber
--Bruno Mars
--Pitbull

Favorite Band, Duo or Group - Pop / Rock:
--LMFAO
--Maroon 5
--OneRepublic

Favorite Pop / Rock Album:
--"21", Adele
--"Loud", Rihanna
--"Born This Way", Lady Gaga

Favorite Artist - Rap / Hip-Hop:
--Lil Wayne
--Nicki Minaj
--Kanye West

Favorite Rap / Hip-Hop Album:
--"Tha Carter 4", Lil Wayne
--"Watch the Throne", The Throne
--"Pink Friday", Nicki Minaj

Favorite Male Artist - Soul / R&B:
--Chris Brown
--Trey Songz
--Usher

Favorite Female Artist - Soul / R&B:
--Rihanna
--Beyoncé
--Kelly Rowland

Favorite Soul / R&B Album:
--"4", Beyoncé
--"Loud", Rihanna
--"F.A.M.E.", Chris Brown

Favorite Artist - Adult Contemporary:
--Adele
--Bruno Mars
--Katy Perry

Favorite Artist - Alternative Rock:
--Foo Fighters
--Black Keys
--Mumford & Sons

Favorite Artist - Latin Music:
--Pitbull
--Enrique Iglesias
--Jennifer Lopez

New Artist of the Year:
--Foster the People
--Hot Chelle Rae
--The Band Perry
--Thompson Square
--Marsha Ambrosius
--Miguel
--LMFAO
--Wiz Khalifa

Voting for New Artist of the Year is a little different. There's a separate link above the other nominees at AMAvote.com.

All of them are eligible until October 21st. At that point, a smaller group of finalists will be determined...and there will be another round of voting.

HOW YOU HOLD YOUR DRINK...DESCRIBES YOUR PERSONALITY
At least according to an old study by a psychologist at King's College in London named Dr. Glenn Wilson. He visited bars, observed 500 different drinkers, and came up with eight different personality types...and how to approach them.

According to Dr. Wilson, "The simple act of holding a drink displays a lot more about us than we realize...or might want to divulge." Check it out.

#1.) The Flirt: A woman who holds her glass in a provocative way, with her fingers splayed. She might hold her drink over her chest, to draw attention to her cleavage, or peer over the rim to check you out as she's taking a sip.

According to Dr. Wilson, "She may 'tease' the rim of the glass with her finger, perhaps dipping it into the drink and sucking it dry." Obviously there's no guess-work here...just go for it.

#2.) The Gossip: A woman who holds a wine glass by the bowl, and uses it as a prop to gesticulate and make points. She tends to cluster in a group with other women, and she's critical.

She also likes to lean in over her drink towards other people, so she can speak more honestly and be more confidential. She already has a close-knit social group...and she's NOT looking to extend it.

#3.) The Ice Queen: A woman who drinks from a wine glass or a short cocktail, and holds it firmly as a barrier across her body. She's cold, defensive, doesn't want to be approached, and she'll put you down if you do.

#4.) The Fun-Lover: Someone who likes to drink beer from the bottle, hold it loosely by their shoulder, and take short swigs so they don't miss out on anything in the conversation.

It means you're friendly, lively, you enjoy being with your friends, you like to laugh, and you drink to be sociable...so you're ALWAYS down to meet new people.

#5.) The Wallflower: You hold your drink protectively and you don't let go...like you're afraid somebody will take it. Your palms are hidden, and the drink's never finished...there's always a mouthful left 'in case of an emergency.'

Obviously it means you're shy and submissive, and you're using the drink as a social crutch. If there's a straw, you fidget with it, and you stir the drink between sips. You copy the pace of the drinking around you.

With Wallflowers you have to take it easy...they need to be approached with a few subtle compliments to build their self-confidence.

#6.) The Player: A guy with a tall glass, cocktail, or a bottle who uses it as a phallic prop, and plays with it suggestively. He's self-confident, possessive, and can get a little 'handsy' with the women around him...and get away with it.

#7.) The Peacock: The player who's actually more into himself. He spreads himself over as much space as possible, like pushing the glass away and leaning back in his chair. He's over-confident, arrogant, and would rather just drink with his friends.

#8.) The Browbeater: A verbally hostile know-it-all who prefers large pint glasses or bottles, grasps them firmly, gesticulates in a threatening in-your-face way, and is always making fun of other people. If you can't handle it, don't bother.

BETTER WITH THE LIGHTS ON?
You always hear about people who won't have sex with the lights on. But I can't remember ever hearing about people who won't have sex with the lights OFF.

According to a survey by the adult store Adam & Eve, about 10% of people say they NEVER want to have sex in the dark...they ALWAYS want to be able to see EVERYTHING.

Naturally, they're the minority. The survey found that 41% of people NEVER want to have sex with the lights ON. And 48% of people prefer variety...sometimes doing it with the lights on, sometimes with the lights off.

PET PEEVES!
This week is National Pet Peeve Week, and to celebrate, the dating site Zoosk conducted a survey on biggest dating pet peeves.

Apparently, men are more annoying than women. One in four men could only come up with one pet peeve, if they could think of any. One in five women listed more than five.

The biggest pet peeve for women is when their date smells. Almost half of all women listed that as a complaint. How DARE you expect me to shower for you!

Half of men said that their biggest pet peeve was when their date was too occupied with their cell phone.

Cell phones were women's second-biggest complaint, followed by dates who were late. Talking about yourself too much was the fourth worst thing, and asking her too many questions about herself was right behind.

For men, smelliness was second, followed by lateness. Too many questions was fourth, and too much makeup was fifth.

Half of women say that sexual innuendo on a first date annoyed them, but only one in 11 men were bothered by it.

When it comes to appearance, too much body hair was women's biggest pet peeve, followed by inappropriate clothes. Dressing badly was tops for men, followed by crooked teeth.

STAY-AT-HOME DAD!!!
This is a pretty big generational split...and your grandfather would WHUP YOU with a switch if he heard about it.

Men used to spend their entire lives with one goal: Making enough money to provide for their family. It would've KILLED THEM not to be the breadwinner, the way the MAN is supposed to be.

Men today? Yeah...they'd GLADLY sit on the couch and play video games while their wives go out and make big money.

In a new survey, 75% of guys ages 16 to 35 say they'd be FINE living an easy life of just hanging out at home while a wife or girlfriend provided for them.

The survey also found that 85% of guys between 16 and 35 say that if they ARE the breadwinner, going out and serving as the primary provider for the family every day, they'd expect dinner to be waiting for them when they get home.

RIHANNA: SEXIEST
RIHANNA has been named "Esquire" magazine's Sexiest Woman Alive for 2011.

Not surprisingly, Rihanna posed NUDE for the magazine. Unfortunately, all her AREAS OF INTEREST are strategically covered. Here's the gallery: http://www.esquire.com/women/the-sexiest-woman-alive/rihanna-naked-1111

The first runner-up was KATY PERRY.

Other ladies in the running included Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Maria Bello, Emma Stone, Beyoncé, Mila Kunis, (!!!) Hope Solo (???) and MMA minx Gina Carano.

In Rihanna's accompanying interview, she regurgitates the usual clichéd stuff chicks always say when they're awarded some kind of "sexy" honor: She doesn't really think about being sexy all that much.

She says, "At the end of a concert, I don't feel like I've been this sexy thing. Really, I don't even think about it...But I don't know. I guess people find different things sexy."

Is anybody buying this? Pretty much every second that Rihanna is in front of a camera or an audience, she's TRYING LIKE HELL to be as sexy as possible. We know it and she knows it.

Far more interesting is what Rihanna had to say about CHRIS BROWN. It turns out she's EXCITED to see how well he's doing since he beat her up in February of 2009.

She says, "It's incredible to see how he pulled out of it the way he did. Even when the world seemed like it was against him, you know? I really like the music he's putting out. I'm a fan of his stuff. I've always been a fan.

"Obviously, I had some resentment toward him for a while, for obvious reasons. But I've put that behind me. It was taking up too much of my time. It was too much anger.

"I'm really excited to see the breakthrough he's had in his career. I would never wish anything horrible for him. Never. I never have."

TAKE MY PICTURE
We've really turned into a nation of VOYEURS. According to a new Harris poll, 50% of American adults say that, yeah, they sometimes pull out their phone to take a secret photo or video of someone.

And here's who they're targeting...

--23% have taken a photo of someone in an embarrassing outfit.
--20% have photographed an athlete at a sporting event.
--15% have gotten someone tripping and falling.
--10% have taken a secret picture of a sexy waitress.
--9% have taken a photo of a shirtless guy mowing the lawn.
--7% have taken photos of cheerleaders.
--7% have photographed their boss or a coworker eating.
--6% have photographed someone's disgusting grooming habits.
--And 5% have taken a picture of a couple making out.

BREEZY TREATS 'EM RIGHT
Surely, I don't need to remind you that CHRIS BROWN is a man who really understands how to treat a woman...but I'm going to anyway.

Chris and BOW WOW were at a strip club in Miami last week called King of Diamonds...and they spared NO expense.

TMZ says they, "lined the floor with singles"...bought "untold bottles of booze" for their entourage...and after they were through, "at least three dancers walked away with $5,000 in tips, each."

COUPONS ON DATES
One of the unofficial rules of dating is that you NEVER use a coupon on a date. At least we THOUGHT that was one of the rules. This economy is throwing everything out of whack, man.

In a new survey by the website CouponCabin.com, 18% of people say they've used a coupon on a first date.

And believe it or not, it didn't sink most of them. The survey found that 73% of people say it's not really a turn-off if someone uses a coupon on a date.
100% of those people were LIARS.
What? Anyway...26% say they'd actually be IMPRESSED if someone had a coupon ready to use.

Only 4% of the people surveyed said it's NEVER acceptable to use a coupon on a date...not even when you're having "date night" with your husband or wife.

But if you're on a date and not sure whether it'll ruin things to use a coupon, you can always try this trick...Go to the bathroom, find your server, and let them know you'll leave a good tip if they apply the coupon off discreetly.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING...
It's about two-and-a-half weeks until Halloween, so if you haven't started shopping for your costume yet...DON'T. It's WAY too late for that. Time to scrap it altogether and get going on your CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

According to a new survey, 29% of people say they've already started buying their holiday gifts. Women are almost twice as likely as men to have to have gotten started.

But if you want to hang with the slackers, 11% of people with kids and 23% of people without kids say they're going to wait until December to start their shopping.

The survey also found that 65% of men and 56% of women plan to spend more than $1,000 this Christmas.

And 40% of people are going to buy ALL their gifts online.

FIRST DATE IN JAIL
One of my past first dates....well we didn't really call it a date, but the first time we spent some length of time together.....ended in the back of a Cuyahoga Falls PD cruiser.
Don't ask. I don't feel like telling you more than that :)

Anyway, on October 5th, 18-year-old Devin Norling and 19-year-old Sydney Sanders from Vero Beach, Florida went on their first date.

And Devin went with my favorite first date spot...T.G.I. Friday's. He even let her order the FRIED GREEN BEANS!

Unfortunately, he didn't have any money. So after the waitress brought their bill for $25.16...the couple pulled the old DINE-AND-DASH move.

A manager spotted them running through the parking lot toward a Wendy's, and called the cops.

The cops easily tracked them down, and both Devin and Sydney were charged with obtaining food with intent to defraud, which is a misdemeanor.

The cops also found a marijuana pipe in Sydney's purse, so she was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia too.

IT'S SUNDAY, SUNDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON SUNDAY...

2011-10-09T11:41:00.002-04:00

...no? Does it not work when you use Sunday? Well it IS still the weekend!

I BROUGHT GOODIES! Here we go...

THIS IS BAD NEWS FOR AMERICA...
I think we've actually reached a point in society where, for women anyway, gorging on food is LESS socially acceptable than having sex with a bunch of dudes. And this survey backs that up.

According to the weight loss company Atkins, 54% of women say they spend more time fantasizing about FOOD than about SEX. (They must be having BAD sex?)

More than one-third of women say they think about food more than they think about their boyfriend or husband.

A quarter of women say that they put more effort into their diet than they do into their relationship.

And now, the final kicker: One in ten women say they feel guiltier cheating on their DIET than cheating on their PARTNER.

The most common reason women gave for dieting was to try to get a perfect beach body. The second-most common reason was people making fun of them for being chubby.

The survey also found that at least 75% of adult women have been on a diet at least once in their lifetime.

FACEBOOK STATS
According to a research firm called SocialBakers, Facebook is still the king of social networks. Not that you are surprised by that at all.

As of the end of September, Facebook had 760 million users. That's more than twice as much as Twitter, LinkedIn and Google Plus combined. Twitter had 200 million users, LinkedIn had 120 million, and Google Plus had 30 million.

Facebook is so popular that the most-followed person on Google Plus is Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, with 570,000 fans.

The most popular brand on Facebook is Coke, with 34.5 million fans. Disney, Starbucks, Oreo cookies, and Red Bull round out the top five.

Starbucks is the only brand of the five that also makes the top five on Twitter. They have 1.7 million Twitter followers, second to Whole Foods, with two million.

If you want to keep up with your favorite brand, the best day to check is Thursday. That's the most popular day for companies to update their social networking statuses. Sunday is the least popular day.

If you write to a company on Facebook, your best bet for getting a response is with a cell phone company or airline. They return messages to customers about a quarter of the time.

I would like to think I have a 95% response rate :)

HER PINKNESS ROCKS THE BIG SCREEN...
PINK has joined the cast of "Thanks for Sharing"...a movie about SEX ADDICTION. Sadly, it's not quite as dirty as it sounds. Pink will play a "free spirit" who bonds with a sex addict played by an actor named Josh Gad.

His biggest claim to fame right now is starring in "The Book of Mormon"...the Tony-winning Broadway musical from "South Park" creators TREY PARKER and MATT STONE.

Also in the cast are Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim Robbins, Joely Richardson and Mark Ruffalo.

RIHANNA AIN'T YO ROLE MODEL. WHICH IS GOOD...
RIHANNA isn't really a good role model for the girls of the world. And that's cool with her. Because she doesn't want to be an example for anybody else. And she adds that the Rihanna WE see isn't even real.

She says, "That's not me. That's a part I play. You know, like it's a piece of art, with all these toys and textures to play with.

"See, people...they want me to be a role model just because of the life I lead. The things I say in my songs, they expect it of me, and [being a role model] became more of my job than I wanted it to be. But no, I just want to make music. That's it."

They EXPECT her to be a role model after "S&M"? ooook.

Meanwhile...Rihanna claims she didn't know until recently that the C-WORD was dirty. In fact, she says it's NOT offensive to people from her home country of Bardados.

She says, "You know African-Americans use the N-word to their brothers? Well, that's the way we use the C-word.

"When I first came here, I was saying it like it was nothing, like, 'Hey, [C-word],' until my make-up artist finally had to tell me to stop. I just never know."

WOMEN USE FB, GUYS USE THE PHONE
I had to laugh the other day when I saw a girl I know write on someone's FB that she sees EVERYDAY. Women are more likely to use Facebook, Twitter, and other social networks to keep in touch with people.

A study by the telecommunications company Rebtel found that 68% of women use social networks to keep in touch with friends, while 54% of men do.

60% of women use social networking to keep in contact with family members, compared to 42% of men.

At work, 34% of women use Facebook and other social networks to contact colleagues, while 22% of men do.

Men are more likely to use the phone or leave a voicemail to stay in touch with friends, family, and work colleagues.

That contradicts previous studies that found that men were better at using new technology to network.

LET'S TALK SAUSAGE!! HEY!!
If there's one area where you should trust an American's opinion, it's on the subject of greasy meats. We're all doctorate-level geniuses on that. So take this very seriously.

A new poll by the National Hot Dog & Sausage Council...which is a real thing...asked Americans to name their favorite type of sausage. And here are the results.

Breakfast sausage is America's favorite, at 27%.
Italian sausage came in a close second, at 25%.
Bratwurst is third, at 18%.
Kielbasa is fourth, at 14%.
And chorizo came in fifth, at 7%.

The remaining 8% said "andouille" or "other".

Overall, 82% of Americans, or more than four out of five, eat sausage. That's divided up into 87% of men and 77% of women.

54% of sausage eaters eat it most often at breakfast...4% eat it most often at lunch...and 26% eat it most often at dinner.

When they're eating breakfast sausage, links are more than twice as popular as patties.

mmmmmm, sausage!

CONGESTION!
If you've been sitting on 77 during rush hour this week, it's about time we saw a study about the most congested cities...nasal, not traffic.

Here's a list of the ten most congested cities in the U.S. based on pollen numbers, air pollution, climate, smoking rates, purchase of congestion products, and flu rates.

#1.) Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
#2.) Birmingham, Alabama
#3.) New Orleans, Louisiana
#4.) Louisville, Kentucky
#5.) Memphis, Tennessee
#6.) San Antonio, Texas
#7.) Dallas, Texas
#8.) Charlotte, North Carolina
#9.) Houston, Texas
#10.) Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

DON'T HIT A DEER!
I'm ALL FOR hunting of deer. Not that I would ever go do it myself (that's silly, I can buy meat a place called Fishers, or Giant Eagle), but I sure as hell don't wanna HIT one of the stupid things going down the road at night! Hunting should be year round.

State Farm Insurance just released its annual report on car accidents involving deer. Which gives us a perfect opportunity to tell the people of West Virginia they need to STOP KILLING BAMBI'S MOM over and over.

The study found that almost 2% of drivers in West Virginia hit a deer in the past year...one in every 53 drivers had a car-on-deer accident. That's almost FOUR TIMES the national average, and 50% higher than the next closest state.

Iowa came in second, with a one-in-77 car-on-deer rate. South Dakota is third, at one in 81...Pennsylvania is fourth, at one in 86...and Michigan is fifth, at one in 91. Trust me, in Northern Michigan...there's a TON OF DEER, everywhere!

Overall, the nationwide average is one deer collision for every 193 drivers.

Hawaii...where there are fewer deer AND fewer drivers...had the lowest rate, at one in 6,267. That means you're 11,825% less likely to crash into a deer in Hawaii than you are in West Virginia.

Car-on-deer collisions have dropped the last three years. State Farm says that gas prices have led to fewer drivers, which has led to fewer drivers smacking deer.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204524604576608812442303374.html?mod=googlenews_wsj#project%3DDEERCHANCES111020111003%26articleTabs%3Dinteractive

ADELE: CANCELS AGAIN
ADELE has been forced to cancel her U.S. tour...for the second time...because her voice is messed up. This time, she has a hemorrhage in her vocal chord.

She has posted a long apology on her site...saying that if she doesn't take a, quote, "extended rest period" now, she could permanently damage her voice.

She explains, "If I continue to pick up everything before I have properly conquered these problems and nipped them in the bud, I will be totally and utterly [effed]...I have absolutely no choice but to recuperate properly and fully, or I risk damaging my voice forever.

"I have great confidence in believing you know how much this upsets me, how seriously I take it and how truly devastated and annoyed I am by this...I will be back and I'm gonna smash the ball out the park once I'm touring again."

All the shows were sold out.

She also canceled a bunch of U.S. dates back in June when she came down with laryngitis. All those shows were sold out, too.

There's no word when she might be able to return to the road

WE FOUND RIHANNA...
RIHANNA has announced that her next album is called "Talk That Talk", and it'll come out on November 21st. It'll be her sixth album in seven years. Her last album "Loud" came out on November 10th of last year.

OLD SCHOOL MUSIC NEWS: GARBAGE
Remember GARBAGE? Of course you do, "I'm Only Happy When It Rains", "Stupid Girl", "Special", and several other mid-90's female-rock songs of AWESOMENESS!
Well, they've just announced plans to release their first album since 2005.

There isn't a title or a release date yet, but the band recently posted a Facebook message saying, "OK we're back in the studio today, we have 3 more weeks booked to hopefully finish everything!"

LEAF PEEPERS UNITE!
Sure, Hurricane Irene destroyed homes, killed at least 45 people, and caused $7 BILLION in damage...but WOW, look at those leaves in Vermont!

New England states are experiencing EXTRA COLORFUL and BEAUTIFUL fall foliage this year...and it's all thanks to Hurricane Irene.

The heavy rain helped keep the soil in the Northeast extra moist, which helps the leaves stay on the trees longer. There will be more leaves, brighter leaves, and a longer period with gorgeous foliage...and it's all thanks to Irene.

Foliage tourists...or "leafers"...are huge for the New England states. Every year, tourists who come to see the leaves on "leaf peeping" tours contribute hundreds of millions of dollars to the states' economies.

HERE'S WHERE YOU SHOULD AVOID GOING...
If you're going on a vacation soon and the boyfriend asks if you wanna hit the Motor City Casino...suggest WINDSOR instead.

"Forbes" magazine just put out a list of America's most dangerous cities, based on FBI statistics for four types of violent crimes: Murder and non-negligent manslaughter, forcible rape, robbery, and aggravated assault.

And the number one city is...yep. The DETROIT metropolitan area was named the most dangerous in the U.S. in 2010, thanks to its really high murder rate. Here's the full top 10:

#1.) Detroit-Livonia-Dearborn, Michigan. 1,111 violent crimes per 100,000 people.

#2.) Memphis, Tennessee. 1,006 violent crimes per 100,000.

#3.) Springfield, Illinois. 855 violent crimes per 100,000.

#4.) Flint, Michigan. 827 violent crimes per 100,000.

#5.) Anchorage, Alaska. 813 violent crimes per 100,000.

#6.) Lubbock, Texas. 808 violent crimes per 100,000.

#7.) Stockton, California. 805 violent crimes per 100,000.

#8.) Tallahassee, Florida. 775 violent crimes per 100,000.

#9.) Las Vegas, Nevada. 763 violent crimes per 100,000.

#10.) Rockford, Illinois. 760 violent crimes per 100,000

THE LIFE OF STEVE JOBS
--1955. STEVE JOBS is born in San Francisco to a Syrian Muslim grad student named Abdulfattah, and an American classmate. They put him up for adoption.

--1972. He drops out of his first semester of college in Portland, Oregon, earns money by returning Coke bottles, and scores free meals at the local Hare Krishna temple.

--1974 - 1975. He quits his first job at Atari to backpack across India, take psychedelic drugs, convert to Buddhism, and shave his head . . . experiences that he credits with shaping his creative vision.

--1976. STEVE JOBS and STEVE WOZNIAK form Apple Computers and build their first personal computer . . . in Jobs' parents' garage.

--1977. Apple releases the Apple Two, which becomes the first widely-used personal computer in the world.

--1980. Apple goes public. After one day of trading, Jobs is worth $239 MILLION. He's 25 years old.

--1983. Apple announces "Lisa," the first computer to be controlled using a MOUSE. It fails. The mouse will go on to become a vital part of basically every computer made in the next 28 years.

--1984. Apple launches the Macintosh, a desktop computer with the screen built in. One year later, Jobs would leave Apple.

--1986. Jobs buys Pixar Animation Studios for $10 MILLION. In 1995 they release "Toy Story", the first movie made entirely with computer animation. It changes animation forever. When Pixar goes public, Jobs becomes a billionaire.

--1996. With Apple dying and about to be sold or killed off, Jobs returns, and becomes CEO. He takes a salary of $1.

--1998. Apple releases the iMac. It becomes the fastest-selling personal computer ever. Apple immediately returns to being profitable and makes money for four quarters in a row.

--2001. Apple introduces their first retail store and releases the iPod. There are now 357 Apple Stores. The iPod would capture more than a 75% market share and turned out to be the device that finally led digital music past the CD era.

--2003. Apple launches the iTunes music store. This began the transition away from illegal digital music downloading and toward people LEGALLY listening to music again.

--2007. Apple introduces the iPhone, the first phone with a touchscreen and no keyboard. It revolutionized the cell phone industry.

--2010. Apple introduces the iPad . . . a device no one even knew they needed until they tried one. Apple now has at least an 80% share of the tablet market and they're used at 92% of Fortune 500 companies.

--2011. Apple . . . the company Jobs started in his parents' garage . . . is briefly the world's most valuable company. On August 9th, for a few hours, Apple's market cap hit $342 BILLION while ExxonMobil's was at $341 BILLION.

That same summer, Apple lists more cash reserves than the U.S. Treasury

WHEN MEN AND WOMEN EAT TOGETHER...MEN EAT MORE, WOMEN EAT LESS
Sharing a meal with someone of the opposite sex affects how much we food we get...and it affects men and women in opposite ways.

Researchers from the University of Akron watched people in campus dining halls and kept track of how much food they ordered...and who they ate with.

Think about that, Akron students. People were spying on you while you ate and you probably didn't even know it!

They found that when men were eating with women, they ordered MORE food than they did when eating with other guys.

When women were eating with guys, they ordered LESS food than when they were eating with just the girls.

There's one major flaw: They only looked at how much food each person ORDERED...not whether they actually ATE it. So if a guy bought lunch for his girlfriend and brought it to her, he'd get credit for two meals, and she didn't get any credit.

The conclusion the researchers drew is that men don't want to come off as light eaters in front of women, because it would make them seem less manly. Women don't want to look like big eaters in front of guys.

Marcia Cottingham co-authored the study. She said, "You're more aware of gender when you're with the opposite gender and may want to prove your gender more." (Okay, got it...gender.)

Another theory suggested by the authors was that women focus on the social aspect of a meal when eating with the opposite sex...while guys just want to eat.

OUT THE WINDOW...
This goes against everything we think we know about men and women...but it's good news, so we're going to roll with it.

According to a nationwide survey by the people who make K-Y Jelly, women are now more SEXUALLY ADVENTUROUS than men...because they get bored with traditional sex faster than men. Here's what they found...

Women are more likely to report having sex outside the bedroom, 85% to 83%.

Women are more likely to TALK DIRTY, 76% to 63%.

Women are more likely to suggest WATCHING PORNO TOGETHER, 51% to 48%.

Women are more likely to have sex when there's a chance of being heard or getting caught, 68% to 55%.

Women are more likely to strip for their partner, 45% to 33%.

Women are more likely to have been in a THREESOME, 10% to 6%.

Women are more likely to have ROLE PLAYED, 23% to 17%.

And finally, women are more likely to have had BACKDOOR RELATIONS, 49% to 38%.

The survey also found that both men and women who did more experimental and adventurous things reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction...and relationship satisfaction...than people who didn't.

So, try something a little different tonight and spice it up a bit!

LOL....SERIOUSLY...
How many lives must Facebook ruin? There's blood on your hands, Zuckerberg.

On Monday, 36-year-old Benito Apolinar of Carlsbad, New Mexico posted a Facebook status update about the anniversary of his mother's death. And his wife, Dolores...who he just separated from after 15 years...didn't click "Like."

That sent Benito into a RAGE!!! He told his wife he couldn't believe so many other people "Liked" his status and she didn't. They argued, it escalated, and he ended up grabbing and pulling her hair.

She called the cops and he was arrested. He's now facing battery charges.

Seriously.

YOU SAY GOOD MORNING...WHEN IT'S MIDNIGHT...

2011-10-02T09:14:00.002-04:00

YES!!! We announced it FRIDAY morning on The DeLuca Show. Q92 rocks the Canton Palace Theatre on Tuesday November 22 with SIMPLE PLAN and WE THE KINGS. Along with some cool openers, Marianas Trench, Forever The Sickest Kids, and The Cab!

If you're a Club Q member, you should have received an email on how to snag your tickets. If you're NOT a member, sign up and then you too can get a pair (or more) of seats.
Tix on sale to the general public at q92radio.com on FRIDAY!

Aight, here's some shtuff...

JUSTIN BIEBER'S IDEA OF A HOME-RUN DATE...
Or maybe that should be, SLAM DUNK? Last weekend, JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ went to see DEMI LOVATO'S gig at the Nokia Theater in L.A. Then they went to a movie. And that's where the date went to the next level.

Justin and Selena went to see "Titanic". Were they even BORN when that movie was released? And there's NUDITY in that movie, I'm not sure Justin is old enough to see that yet!!!
They went by themselves.
At the STAPLES CENTER.
Seriously.
Justin rented out the Staples Center...where the Lakers play...so he and Selena could watch a freakin' movie.

Earlier in the day, Justin Tweeted, "Romance isn't dead. Treat your lady right, fellas."

While I would agree...I would argue...what the hell is romantic about an empty basketball arena?! I guess he's young and dumb, we should give him an "A" for effort.

We should also note that the date didn't cost Justin a dime. They let him have the joint free of charge because he's sold it out three times already.

Also, Justin didn't think of the idea himself. He got it from the scene in the movie "Mr. Deeds", where ADAM SANDLER surprises WINONA RYDER with a date in an empty Madison Square Garden.

"PEOPLE KEEP SAYING I'M GAY, AND I'M NOT"
That's quoteable from my future ex-girlfriend, KELLY CLARKSON, in an interview with E! ONLINE.
She added, "I'm pretty sure I've never made out with a girl. It's just not helping me because I'm straight. No boy wants to hit on me because I make mean songs about them, and they think I'm gay."

Um, hi. Kelly? Call...me.....

"I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO PROVE AT THIS POINT"
Quoteable from BRITNEY SPEARS. She adds, "I just do it for fun and see what happens...I hear the older you get, the wiser you get and the more you know what you want. Hopefully it'll be a good year."

Even though this sounds like something someone would say around New Year's, Britney made this comment now because she was talking about her upcoming 30th birthday, which is December 2nd.

OLD SCHOOL: NIRVANA
Last Saturday was the 20th anniversary of the release of NIRVANA'S "Nevermind"...and to celebrate, MTV put together a list of interesting facts about the album. Here are the highlights:

Nirvana's label, Geffen, shipped 46,521 copies of "Nevermind" to retailers in its first week of release...and they initially hoped to eventually sell 200,000 copies.

"Nevermind" has sold 30 million copies worldwide...and has sold over 10 million copies in the U.S. Nine weeks after its release, it was certified Platinum. That's for 1 million in domestic sales.

"Nevermind" debuted at #144 on the Billboard Top 200 chart...but ended up remaining on the Top 200 for 253 weeks. That's equivalent to nearly FIVE YEARS.

The album was nominated for two Grammys, but didn't win either. The "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video received four nominations at the MTV Video Music Awards...and won two: Best Alternative Video and Best New Artist in a Video

ARE YOU A BOSS? YOU HAVE LESS SEX!
OK, that should be clarified a little. A study by the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health found that bossy women have less sex.

Researchers talked to women in six African countries about their roles in household decision making, and how often they have relations.

Women who take on all the responsibility of shopping, making the household budget, and making appointments for the family have less sex than women who share those duties with their husband.

And the amount of time since they'd last had sex was anywhere from three to 100 times longer for the take-charge women, depending on how many decisions the women are responsible for.

If you think guys are turned off by bossy wives, according to the researchers...you're wrong.

Their theory is that the bossy women are also taking charge in the bedroom and calling the shots on how often they have sex. (Which could possibly speak for the guys' SKILLS as well, but...)

TALKING COMMUTES...
The U.S. Census Bureau has released their Commuting in the United States report, using data from 2009. They found that the average worker has a 25-minute commute, which is basically unchanged from 2000.

One in eight workers get to work in ten minutes or less, while one in 50 take an average of 90 minutes or more.

New York has the worst commute, at about 35 minutes. Washington, D.C. is second, followed by Poughkeepsie, New York. Chicago, Baltimore, and Atlanta are also in the top 10.

If you want a short commute, you should live in a small city. The ten best commutes are all places with populations of less than 300,000 people.

The best commute in the U.S. is in Great Falls, Montana, at 14 minutes. Lewiston, Idaho and Grand Forks, North Dakota are next best. But, ya know. No people there!

The biggest "share the road" city is Corvallis, Oregon, where 9% of commuters get to work by bicycle. The city with the most walkers is Ithaca, New York, where 15% of people walk to work.

Men leave for work earlier than women. Almost 40% of guys leave before 7:00 A.M., while less than 25% of women leave that early.

JASON DERULO...
Ladies, he's OFF the market. JORDIN SPARKS and JASON DERULO are a couple. They were spotted out Sunday night celebrating Jason's 22nd birthday.

DO IT IN A WEEK...
According to new research out of the University of Minnesota, the modern HOOK-UP CULTURE is stronger than ever.

Their latest study found that 25% of young single women now report having sex with a guy within the FIRST WEEK OF DATING.

And about 30% of sexual relationships are now just that...purely sexual relationships. No dating or spending money or having real conversation...just some texting and humping.

Sociologists say this is a result of simple supply and demand. On U.S. college campuses, 57% of students are women.

That means men can be more picky, and women have to be more competitive. The way to beat the competition is to give a guy what he wants...and that's quick sex and plenty of it.

Once people get out of college, educated, single men are still more scarce...so women have to compete the same way.

I LIKE this supply and demand thing!

SAY WHAT?
At least according to one survey, dating sites aren't the top sites for dating online anymore.

In the survey, 18% of people said FACEBOOK and other social networking sites are the best way to meet people online...making that the number one answer.

17% ask a friend or use mutual friends to introduce them to someone online...13% say they use the big online dating sites...and 6% use niche dating sites. Ya know, adultswhostilllovepokemon.com (???)

I'M ALL FOR THIS!!
I'm all for having someone swipe my groceries for me. I mean, I'm spending money in your business, you can use my money to pay LIVING, BREATHING PEOPLE to stand there and do a job. I mean, I work enough, I don't wanna have to scan my OWN groceries!

Apparently, people have had trouble adapting to the SELF-CHECKOUTS...stores haven't saved on staff because they have to be monitored for theft and for people who have trouble with the machines...and customers haven't fallen in love with them. I know I HATE using them and avoid them when I can.

According to a study by the Food Marketing Institute out of Virginia, only 16% of the grocery transactions in 2010 were done at self-checkouts in stores that provided that option. In other words, five out of six people chose to go to a cashier.

Three years ago, as self-checkouts were just starting to get big, they accounted for 22% of transactions.

So now, because people don't really like the self-checkouts, a lot of chains are getting rid of them...or at least shutting most of them down so the staff members who used to monitor them can move over to regular registers.

A HS FOOTBALL TEAM FORFEITS THEIR WINS...BECAUSE OF FB?
Here's yet another reason why PARENTS and FACEBOOK will NEVER mix.

The football team from Perry County High School in Tennessee just had to vacate THREE of their wins so far this season...all because one mom posted about her kids' messy rooms on Facebook. (???)

The kids are Rodney and Ryan Belasic. They both play offensive line for Perry High.

And their mom recently posted on Facebook, "How can two boys mess up their room as badly as they do when they're only here on Saturday and Sunday?"

That status update got passed along to the Tennessee Secondary School Athletic Association. They'd been suspicious that the Belasic boys didn't actually live in Perry County...and after the Facebook update they investigated further.

Does this not seem like hick-town people with NOTHING better to do? Come on! I have no idea how big Perry County, TN is, but I'm betting its small.

And they found their suspicions were correct...the Belasic family actually lives in a different county, Henry County, and the boys just travel to Perry County during the week to go to school.

So technically they were ineligible to play for the team...and the team had to vacate three wins. They kept two wins where the Belasics didn't play. But now instead of being 5-and-0, they're 2-and-3.

SORRY LADIES, YER GUY CAN'T FIX S#!T...

Remember back when you were a kid and you'd watch your father fixing the pipes under the sink, or changing the insulation? And you just kinda assumed one day when you were a dad, you'd suddenly wake up knowing how to do all that too?

Well...you don't. And most other guys don't either.

In a new survey, 72% of men said they could handle VERY basic home repair or improvement stuff, but for anything that requires even SLIGHT skill...like replacing a broken tile...they'd call in a professional.

40% of men say they either CAN'T do ANYTHING around the home or they probably could, but they'd choose to call a handyman anyway.

14% of men say that their pride won't let them call a repairman...no matter how unqualified they are to make the repairs themselves.

Changing a fuse is the task that the most men believe they can do, at 70%. Stripping wallpaper and painting the house tied for second, at 61%...fitting a curtain rod is fourth, at 53%...and unclogging a toilet is fifth, at 51%.

Installing a brand new kitchen is the skill the fewest men believe they have, at 14%...laying new carpet or putting up a deck tied for second-fewest, at 22%...installing a sink, laying vinyl floor, and removing a radiator tied for fourth, at 24%

"AMERICAN REUNION"
After the third "American Pie" movie, "American Wedding", Universal started making direct-to-DVD movies under the "American Pie" banner with almost none of the original cast. The videos made some money, but they're not very good.

So Universal decided to get the entire original cast from "American Pie" back together to make a fourth theatrical film...called "American Reunion". And now we know how much they had to PAY all the actors to come back.

Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott are getting paid the most, at $5 MILLION each, plus a small piece of the gross.

Alyson Hannigan and Eugene Levy are next, getting about $3 MILLION.

The actors who haven't gotten more famous since "Pie"...Chris Klein, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Natasha Lyonne, Jennifer Coolidge, Mena Suvari, and Shannon Elizabeth...will get $500,000 to $750,000.

And finally, Tara Reid...who was once, arguably, the biggest name in the cast...has fallen so far that she'll get the LOWEST salary, at around $250,000.

The film centers around all of the characters getting back together for their 10-year high school reunion. It's set to open on April 6th of next year.

HOLY MACKEREL!

2011-09-15T10:29:00.002-04:00

Starting off with one of the most RANDOM polls. EVER. Fitting, right?

After millions of people lost power in the wake of Hurricane Irene, GE Generator Systems took a poll, asking families who they'd want to spend time with in the event of a power outage of at least 48 hours.

And your choice, America, (or at least East Coast) was ELLEN DEGENERES.

It sounds like the choices were all TV hosts...and while we don't have a complete rundown, GE says Ellen got 21% of the vote, which was far ahead of such other choices as Regis & Kelly and Matt Lauer.

WANNA GET IT ON? TRY THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE...
A British dating site conducted this study, but there's no reason to believe it's any different here in the States.

The dating site FreeDating.co.uk asked its members how likely they were to have sex on a first date, then looked at which dating profile details were most likely to indicate a person was easy.

As you might expect, it's far easier to find a guy willing to go all the way on the first date. Four in six men are open to it, while only one in six ladies are.

The attribute that best predicted whether a woman would go all the way on a first date was...her size. Overweight women were far more likely than thin girls to give it up on the first date, and women over 5'9" were more likely than shorter women.

And the overall female profile most likely to be down with first-date sex is: Tall, heavier, separated, white, in her early 20s, moderate drinker, and poorly educated.

Go figure!

For men, the best way to predict first-date sex was marital status. Married men were far more likely to go all the way on a first date.

The male profile most likely to have sex on the first date is a guy who's married, mixed-race, in his late 20s, athletic, well-educated, and a moderate drinker and smoker.

And for both genders, the older a person gets, the less likely they are to have sex on the first date. Damn.

SOCIAL NETWORKING FOR COUPLES?
If you're annoyed by couples who use Facebook to post sappy declarations of love for each other...or you're part of one of those couples, and Facebook doesn't do it for you...listen up.

The latest trend is a social network for COUPLES. There are new social networks geared towards couples that allow you to interact with your significant other online...but in private.

Um...don't you see them all the time? Why the HELL do you need a social network to interact with them. Here's a concept...TALK TO THEM! OK, I'm behind the times or something...

One of the new sites is named Snuggle Cloud, and their ads explain that, "While Facebook is like a party for your friends, Snuggle Cloud is like a candlelit dinner."

Snuggle Cloud has been around since November, but they're launching an app version next week. It allows you to engage in e-flirting, post gift ideas for each other, and keep track of important dates in your relationship. (well THAT could be handy!)

Coming next month is Kahnoodle, which focuses more on the couple's relationship between the sheets.

You have to be over 21 to use Kahnoodle, and they'll let you exchange "love taps" with your partner, which are a combination of a Facebook poke and a straight-out request for sex that night. (!)

THE BEERS THAT NO LONGER SATISFY YOUR CRAVING...
A website called 24/7 Wall Street crunched some data and came up with a list called "The Eight Beers Americans No Longer Drink." That's how they presented it anyway, but it's actually "The Eight Beers Americans No Longer Love."

Because some of the beers on the list are HUGE. In fact, number eight is Budweiser. But the point of the list is to show which American beers have seen a MASSIVE dive in national sales because of weakening demand.

All eight have lost 30% or more in sales between 2005 and 2010. It's because more and more people are drinking imports and micro-brewed craft beers. Check 'em out.

#1.) Michelob...down 72%. Think about it: When's the last time you had one?

#2.) Michelob Light...down 68%. Same thing. But both are brewed by Anheuser-Busch InBev, the Belgian company that now owns Budweiser. More about them later.

Michelob Light was the beer Anheuser-Busch first put up against Miller Lite, before they came up with Bud Light. So, basically it lost that three-way race.

#3.) Bud Select...down 60%. That's Bud's super low-calorie beer.

#4.) Milwaukee's Best...down 53%. The Beast! It's made by MillerCoors, but it's taking hits from PBR and Keystone, which have better ad campaigns.

#5.) Old Milwaukee...down 52%. Not to be confused with The Beast, it's actually made by Pabst.

#6.) Miller Genuine Draft...down 51%.

#7.) Milwaukee's Best Light...down 34%. A light version of The Beast. Again, they just can't compete with the successful marketing of Bud Light and Miller Lite.

#8.) Budweiser...down 30%. The only beer that's more popular is Bud Light, so I'm sure they're not worried. But when you're that huge, and you're selling 7 million barrels less than you're used to, that's not good.

SHADY, SNEAKY WOMEN...
Gender stereotypes say that women like to SPY and GOSSIP more than men. And a new survey has found that stereotype is...absolutely right.

In the survey, about 20% of women admitted they've broken into their partner's email or Facebook. HALF as many men...10%...have done the same.

The survey also found that 15% of women have used the info they found to start a FIGHT. Less than half as many men, 7% have done the same.

NAKEDNESS ON GOOGLE MAPS!!!
The Internet isn't exactly lacking in nude photos...but when one like this manages to light up that deviant, voyeuristic part of your brain, it rises to the top of the pile.

You may not have used Google Maps STREET VIEW tool before, but it's AWESOME. Check it out at googlemaps.com
To make their Street View maps, Google sends cars around taking photos. And sometimes, those photos capture people. And this time, they captured a FULLY NUDE WOMAN.

The woman was standing on the doorstep of her house in Miami...completely naked. It appears she's holding a jug of water. (Although that won't be the jug that catches your eye. HI-YO!)

Usually Google pixelates people's faces on their Street View maps...but this one managed to slip through for a few days before they caught it and censored the woman's face and body.

NSFW: http://forum.talknightlife.com/download/file.php?id=2092&sid=d68a63d259b746ffcf12d60c064129e4&mode=view

GAGA'S NEW TOY...
LADY GAGA has been nailing actor TAYLOR KINNEY...the guy in her "You & I" video. And now the "Star" tabloid claims she stole him from another woman.

A source says, "Kinney said he told Gaga he had a girlfriend. He never tried to hide it, but Gaga didn't care."

And how did Kinney's girlfriend find out he was cheating on her? She got a POCKET DIAL from him, and heard them making out.

Allegedly.

HOW MEN AND WOMEN REACT TO CHEATERS...
According to a new study by the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania, there's a big difference in the way that men and women react when they find out someone is cheating on them.

They're both FURIOUS and feel like their world is collapsing...that's universal. But their reason for being furious is different.

Women mainly worry their husband has fallen in LOVE with another woman...men mainly worry about all of the nasty sexual things some other dude did to their wife.

The study found when a woman finds out she's been cheated on, 71% of her questions focus on the emotional side of the affair and 29% focus on the sex. For men, 57% of questions are about the sex, 43% are about emotions.

The researchers behind the study say this is basic evolutionary biology.

Men are wired to worry about providing for and raising a child that's not theirs. So when their wife cheats, their main concern is she's been knocked up by the other guy.

Women are wired to worry about having a man stick with them. So when their husband cheats, their main concern is he's now devoted to another woman and will abandon his family.

HALLOWEEN IS APPROACHING...
Almost time to think Halloween! That 'superstore' is gearing up on 62.

According to a new survey, two out of three adults plan to wear a costume this Halloween. Nine out of ten that are dressing up plan to buy a new costume this year, instead of reusing an old one.

87% of kids are dressing up for Halloween, and 93% of the ones that are say they want a new costume too.

The average adult spends 61 days planning and putting together their costume. One in eight begin planning a YEAR in advance.

Adults are so serious about Halloween that they plan to spend more on their costume than on their kid's. They'll spend $52 on their own costume, but just $32 per child.

Pet owners plan to spend $59 on a Halloween costume for their dog or cat. That's seven dollars more than they're spending on themselves, and $25 more than they're spending on their kid.

WORK RECESS?
If you got to run around outside for a few minutes every day, maybe swing on some monkey bars or throw around a football...would it make you a better worker?

An outdoor footwear company called KEEN surveyed full-time American workers to find ways they could improve productivity. The answer: Recess.

53% of the workers surveyed thought that taking a 10-minute outdoor recess each day would make them happier, healthier and more productive.

Two in five workers thought it would be a good way to reduce workplace stress. One in three thought it would make them more productive all day long.

Nearly three in four workers said they'd never had a recess break at work. (Where do the other one in four work?)

Despite the fact that 53% thought it was a good idea, only 44% of workers say they'd actually TAKE RECESS if their company offered it.

Women and young employees were most likely to say they'd take a recess.

ROAST BEEF ART THIEF...
This just might be the lamest ART HEIST in history.

It happened back during Labor Day weekend but just made the news now. In Johnson City, Tennessee, (YEE-HAW!) two middle-aged women were arrested for stealing art...off the walls of an ARBY'S.

I didn't even know they HAD art on the walls of Arby's...but I'd guess it's just that generic, mass-produced stuff that's meant to blend into the background so you subconsciously feel a little classy as you gorge on curly fries.

Anyway, on September 3rd, 45-year-old Connie Sumlin and 58-year-old Gail Johnson went to an Arby's in Johnson City...and yanked a piece of art off the wall.

The police didn't describe the piece of art they took, but apparently it wasn't that cheap...because when they were arrested, they were both charged with theft of over $500.

LA LA LA LA LA!!! (Cobra Starship)

2011-09-07T10:20:00.002-04:00

Here's a smattering of stuff...

I WANT SOMEONE TO USE THIS WEBSITE...FOR ME!
Farmville and catching up with old friends is great, but the true beauty of Facebook is stalking people.

That's what makes this new website so great. You can now acknowledge the Facebook profiles that are most useful to you for self-pleasuring purposes...at ThankYourWank.com.

And ThankYourWank keeps track of how many Wanks each person gets, so you can find out how many people are violating themselves to YOUR beach photos. It also lets you keep track of your favorite wanking sites with a personal 'To Do' list.

In case you're wondering, the top-ranked female Wank is currently Jennie June of Rome, Italy, who has been the inspiration for 1,407 instances of self-pleasure. (It'll be 1,408 after this next commercial break.)

The top-rated guy Wank is Simon Lomas of Manchester, England. He's sent ladies to the produce drawer an astounding 1,505 times.

The site has some other interesting features. If you're self-pleasuring to someone...and they're also using YOU for inspiration, the site will send you an Instant Alert for mutual wanks, so you two can get together.

You can also vote in Wank Offs between two celebrities, or two profiles. In recent Wank Offs, Jennifer Aniston beat Angelina Jolie, Katy Perry crushed Rihanna, and Megan Fox beat Scarlett Johansson.

SOUNDS GOOD, right?! SOMEONE go pleasure yourself to me. Too bad there isn't audio. Just turn on your radio...

HOW WOULD YOU GRADE *YOURSELF*?
We've got the results of an interesting new survey from the marketing agency Euro RSCG Worldwide. They asked Americans to give themselves letter grades on how they're handling different aspects of life. It's a letter grade. I'm gonna grade myself, you can too. The results are below.

HAPPINESS: I'd give myself a C. I'd say its average. Some days I hate life, some I love it.

ROMANCE: A-/B+ - got skills here, son!

CAREER SUCCESS: C- - working to turn it around though!

WEIGHT MANAGEMENT: D

FINANCES AND FINANCIAL SECURITY: ehh, B

PERSONALITY: Hello, I'm pretty awesome! A-

OK, the results:

Happiness. 61% of both men and women give themselves an A or a B...39% give themselves a C, a D, or an F.

Romance. 49% of men give themselves an A or B, and 51% give themselves a C, D, or F. 54% of women give themselves an A or B, and 46% said C, D, or F.

Career success. 55% of men went with A or B, and 45% went with C, D, or F. 48% of women said A or B, and 52% said C, D, or F.

Weight management. 54% of men said they should get an A or a B, and 46% said C, D, or F. For women, 39% said A or B, while 61% said C, D, or F.

Finances and financial security. 43% of men gave themselves an A or B, and 57% went with C, D, or F. 42% of women said A or B, and 58% said C, D, or F.

Personality. 74% of men say their personality is an A or a B, and 26% say C, D, or F. 79% of women give themselves an A or a B...21% said C, D, or F.

WEEZY SETS A RECORD...
Last month, "Watch the Throne"...the KANYE WEST / JAY-Z collaboration...sold 290,000 copies in its first week on iTunes. That broke the iTunes record for most album downloads in one week.

But that record was short-lived, because LIL WAYNE just broke it.

Wayne's "Tha Carter 4" was downloaded 300,000 times in the first four days it was available. Even more impressive: "Tha Carter 4" was not an iTunes exclusive like "Watch the Throne" was.

If you count both digital and CD sales, "Tha Carter 4" may have sold over 850,000 copies in its first week, which ended Sunday. The official numbers won't be released until tomorrow.

WHEN WERE YOU BORN?
This sounds like some mix of astrology, superstition, and an old wives' tale...but apparently there's actual data to back it up.

A new study out of England found that the MONTH when someone is born makes a big impact on their future career.

It's hard to figure out the science behind it...there are theories about things like the amount of sunlight pregnant women are exposed to, or the allergies children are more prone to in different seasons. But no one's really sure.

All they know is that data has shown people born in certain months end up in certain careers more often. Here are the findings...

JANUARY. Lots of doctors and debt collectors, fewer real estate agents.

FEBRUARY. Lots of artists and traffic cops, fewer physicists. Also, people born in February are most prone to narcolepsy. (???)

MARCH. Lots of pilots and musicians.

APRIL. The only career that's overrepresented in April over time is...dictators. People born in April are also more likely to have lower-than-average IQs, and more health problems.

MAY. Lots of politicians, fewer pro athletes.

JUNE. Lots of CEOs. Also high on Nobel Prize winners.

JULY. Lots of manual laborers and artists.

AUGUST. Lots of manual laborers and high-ranking politicians.

SEPTEMBER. Lots of people in academia and sports.

OCTOBER. Lots of politicians. People in October are also most likely to live the longest.

NOVEMBER. Lots of serial killers. Also, people born in November are most prone to bipolar disorder.

DECEMBER. Lots of dentists. Also lots of religious and secular MESSIAHS...everyone from JESUS...to STALIN and MAO.

FROM THE "DUH!!!!" FILE: TEENAGERS ARE EMBARASSED BY THEIR PARENTS
According to a new survey commissioned by Twentieth Century Fox, 88% of teenagers, admit they're EMBARRASSED by their parents.

The two main causes of embarrassment are when their parents DANCE over-enthusiastically at celebrations like weddings...and when their parents engage in public displays of affection. PDA!

72% of teenagers say they hold off on introducing a new boyfriend or girlfriend to their parents because they're afraid of being embarrassed.

What about adults?

60% say their parents tell them exaggerated stories about back when THEY were teenagers.

But how would you know?

And a quarter of parents admit their kids are RIGHT, they do exaggerate...26% have lied to their kids about how well they did in school, and 24% lie about having gone to a classic concert.

RUH ROH
A guy broke into Celine Dion's house, ate some pastries and ran himself a bath. It's OK though, Celine never called authorities. She began SINGING and the man fled the home.

MORE ON THE FIRING OF THE "MY CHEM" DRUMMER...
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE fired their touring drummer MICHAEL PEDICONE over the weekend for stealing from them. At the time, Michael admitted that he made a, quote, "error in judgment"...but he didn't get into the particulars.

Well, Michael offered a little insight into his motives yesterday. Basically, he says he didn't REALLY steal anything from the band...he was just trying to frame a member of the band's crew and get HIM fired.

He explains, "I ran into problems with a member of the band's crew who I'll not name. The problems were many, big and small, but some of them were large enough that they began to greatly impact me and, by extension, my family.

"I'd reached my wits' end, and I made what was certainly the poorest decision of my life. Rather than address the issues that I had with the crew member in an open and honest manner, I tried to make them look irresponsible.

"My intention was to make this person look incompetent...[I had] no intention of profiting [from the theft]."

This is just a guess, but maybe Michael took some equipment or something...and hid it...in an effort to make it appear that this crew member had neglected to bring it along.

Regardless, it's STUPID and we've heard nothing out of MCR or their camp on this latest development. However, they had said originally that it was the one and only time they would publicly address it.

They'll open for BLINK-182 at Blossom next Tuesday. TICKETS on The DeLuca Show all this week!

LIKE TO RIDE DIRTY?
There's nothing like some good dirty talk. As long as the other person doesn't get too technical, like, "Oh, that feels nice on my perineum." I mean, right? Anyway...

And it turns out, MOST of us have FILTHY MOUTHS when we're getting-it-on.

A new poll from the online adult toy shop Adam & Eve found that 80% of adults say they TALK DIRTY during relations. And that includes 12% who talk dirty EVERY SINGLE TIME they're having sex.

For just Adam & Eve's customers...who are obviously going to be a bit more sexually liberated than the average American...90% engage in dirty talk.

GET OUT THE TRUMPET, #200!!!

2011-09-04T10:48:00.002-04:00

um... ::::TRUMPET NOISE:::: ???
This is my 200th post on here. I counted. Maybe.

PROMISCUOUS GIRRRRL...
Well it's official. I need to move. If I want to have meaningless casual sex, I might want to consider a trip to...the Pacific Northwest?

The dating site OKCupid has come up with a list of America's most promiscuous cities: They looked at the profiles on their site, and which cities had the highest percentage of people seeking "Casual sex" as their preferred type of relationship.

Based on that, the most promiscuous city in America is...Portland, Oregon. In second place is another city in the Pacific Northwest: Seattle, Washington.

But...ready for good news? The #3 city is right down the road...PITTSBURGH!!!
#3.) Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The rest of the top 10:

#4.) Miami, Florida
#5.) San Francisco, California
#6.) Dallas, Texas
#7.) San Bernardino, California
#8.) Denver, Colorado
#9.) San Diego, California
#10.) Houston, Texas

OHIO: 4TH
4th what, you ask? 4th most UNHAPPY state in the U.S.A! WOOHOO!
The people at the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index just released their list ranking U.S. states by happiness. And not really a surprise, Hawaii...the one state that's a tropical paradise...is the happiest place in the country.

The rankings are based on six factors: How happy you are about your current situation and the near future...emotional health...job satisfaction...physical health...healthy behavior...and basic access to health care and exercise.

Here's the full top 10:
#1.) Hawaii
#2.) North Dakota
#3.) Alaska
#4.) Nebraska
#5.) Minnesota
#6.) Colorado
#7.) Utah
#8.) New Hampshire
#9.) Iowa
#10.) Kansas.

On the unhappy end of the scale, West Virginia came in last place. It finished just below Kentucky, Mississippi, OHIO, and Louisiana

GAGA DOES BART...
LADY GAGA is voicing a character on an upcoming episode of "The Simpsons". She's playing herself...and at some point, she kisses MARGE. Lady Gaga says, "I play a little bit of a slut. The apple doesn't fall far from my artistic tree."

But she loved doing it. Gaga says, quote, "Their characters are so awesomely convincing and sincere and wild and funny, I had to remind myself constantly of the sincerity of the humor.

"I would say this is one of the coolest things I've ever done."

OHHHH, THIS HAS GOTTA BE THE (SINGLE) LIFE...
If you're like me, a single guy hoping a couple hot single chicks move in to the apartment next door (I just want ANYONE ELSE to move in to the apartment next door), I have some bad news for you.

A survey from Rent.com found that most single women don't want to have a single guy as a neighbor.

While almost half of all single men said they'd like to live next to an available woman, only 17% of the women said they'd want a single guy next door.

One in four women would rather live next door to neighbors with pets than a guy looking for a date.

In fact, most women aren't thinking about single guys at all when they're looking for a place to live. 57% of them say they make a housing decision based on affordability.

And even if you do luck out and live next to an available lady, she probably isn't shacking up with a hot roommate. Only 9% of single women share their place with another female.

Interesting. I've known plenty of girls who lives with girl roomies. Even dated a few.

Also ladies, Rent.com also looked at which cities had the best combination of professional opportunities, social life, and hot guys. And the best city for single women is...Phoenix, Arizona.

The rest of the top five are Seattle, Austin, Denver, and Washington, D.C.

AN MLB PLAYER MISSED HIS AT-BAT...CAUSE HE WAS IN THE BATHROOM
Angel Pagan is an outfielder on the New York Mets. And since he's not a particularly well-known player...this is now officially what he's going to be known for.

On Monday night, the Mets were playing the Phillies in Philadelphia. And as the Mets wrapped up the bottom of the fourth inning, Pagan felt something going on in his stomach and knew he needed to sit himself on the toilet...NOW.

There was only one problem. He was scheduled to be the third batter that inning. He told the trainer he had to hit the bathroom and he'd rush so he could be done in time to bat.

But he wasn't.

And when the two guys before him got out quickly, he realized he was going to be late to his at-bat.

The crowd started booing and he finally got out to the field after a short delay. He quickly grounded out to end the inning...and after that, the manager pulled him and put a different player in center field.

After the game, Pagan and the manager had a meeting and smoothed over the diarrhea incident.

The Mets ended up losing 10-to-nothing. But BOOING cause the guy was POOING is not cool!

MO MONEY, MO PROBLEMS...
Could be VERY true in this case!
Here's a way you can tell what's going on in your date's mind. A new study found that when a guy is looking for a relationship, he's MUCH more willing to spend money than when he's just looking to do a quick pump-and-dump.

The study found that men will spend 60% more on a date when they're looking for a relationship. That turned out to be an average of a $73 difference.

So, in other words, if a guy just wants to have sex with you, expect dinner at Wendy's. But if he wants a commitment...well, you still might want Wendy's because it's delicious, and he'll be fine with you Biggie Sizing!!

OH NO...
NOW what are we going to steal? According to an article in "USA Today", more and more hotels are getting rid of the mini bottles of shampoo...and replacing them with refillable pump canisters.

The hotels say it reduces waste. And while some of them are claiming it doesn't reduce cost...we all know they wouldn't do it if it wasn't profitable.

So far, this is rolling out in some higher-end chains, like Viceroy Hotels and some of the Starwood luxury hotels. But it could affect the places real people stay too...and it could happen sooner rather than later.

THIS IS WHERE YOU PUT THE TITLE...

2011-08-17T10:32:00.002-04:00

...but I'm not putting one :)

THE QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS...
A friend of mine is 28 and for awhile, she was always talking about how this was her quarter-life crisis. Kids born in the '80s are hitting their late 20s now. And as the first generation to be told on a daily basis for their entire childhood, "you're special, unique, and perfect"...the transition to the harsh reality of adult life has been ROUGH.

So this makes sense: According to a new study, having a quarter-life crisis is more common now than having a midlife crisis.

A quarter-life crisis is pretty much what it sounds like: It's like a midlife crisis, but you have a breakdown about how your life is going when you're in your mid-20s...about one-quarter of your way through life.

More people in their 20s reported having a quarter-life crisis than people in their 40s reported having a midlife crisis.

The reasons for having one are all over the place...a career not getting off to a good start, being single, going bald, gaining weight.

A stress expert named Michael Guttridge analyzed the study. He says, "Generation Y, the '80s kids, are becoming quickly disillusioned when faced with the dull reality of work and [being] saddled with debt."

That sounds about like her!

NO MORE NOOKIE...
...in the dressing room! Wah wah wahhhh...
It's a big day for perverts...and a horrible day for trying on bras.

Apparently, major department stores around the country have started reversing the slats on their dressing room doors. Now, instead of keeping you private and helping you see out of the dressing room, people walking by can see IN.

They say they're doing it to prevent shoplifting. Now employees can walk around the dressing room area and look in on people to make sure they're not stealing.

Of course, it means they'll be able to look in and see you NAKED. And not just the employees...anyone. But the stores aren't so concerned about that.

Apparently Macy's, Dillard's, Ann Taylor Loft, and Saks Fifth Avenue have already installed the reverse slats in several of their stores.

In a statement, Macy's said they've done it because, "Retailers work hard to strike a balance between preserving the privacy of customers, providing customer service, maintaining customer safety in fitting rooms, and deterring theft."

PUT THAT THING AWAY!
Maybe you're one of those people who thinks it's a turn-off to see a really hairy dude at the beach. But this alternative seems WAY worse.

Last week in Salisbury, Massachusetts, a 45-year-old man named Christopher Axford was drunkenly shaving off his body hair at the beach. Naked.

The lifeguards on the beach asked him to cover up and stop shaving, but he refused to do either one. So they called the cops.

When the police got there, Christopher was shaving his armpits...his bathing suit was pulled down around his ankles...and he had a towel on his lap. But it wasn't covering his junk.

The cops asked Christopher why he was shaving, and he told them a girl he knows said it was perfectly legal to do it on a beach.

He refused to cover up and stop shaving...so the police ended up arresting him for lewd, wanton, and lascivious conduct, public drinking, and disorderly conduct.

GET IT ON!!
People sometimes joke about how there's still a pretty big salary gap between men and women. But this is NO JOKE: Apparently, the fact that women get paid like 70 cents on the dollar is actually keeping men from getting SEX.

A new study out of Florida State University found that the more gender equality there is in a country, the more sex that country has. So when women have money and power and equal rights...everybody's getting-it-on!

Countries with the best gender equality, including several European and Scandinavian countries, have the highest reported frequency of sex.

Places like the U.S., Canada, and England, where the equality isn't quite as high, have somewhat less sex. And Middle Eastern countries and Asian countries have low equality and low sexual frequency.

In the latest global gender gap ratings, Iceland, Norway, Finland, and Sweden have the best equality. The U.S. is 19th, just behind the U.K. and the Netherlands. Yemen, Chad, Pakistan, and Mali have the lowest ranks.

Roy Baumeister is the psychologist at FSU who led the study. He says more gender equality leads to more sex because women don't need sex as a bargaining tool as much.

"If women don't have many opportunities to make money on their own, they need the value of sex to be as high as possible." But when they can make money, sex isn't such a commodity...so women are more likely to have lots of it."

THE JONAS BROS WILL BE BACK. I KNOW YOU WERE WORRIED.
The JONAS BROTHERS have essentially been on hiatus...with NICK and JOE JONAS pursuing their own projects, and KEVIN JONAS sinking into a boring married life. But Joe says they DO plan to reunite...at some point.

He tells MTV, "Definitely, me and my bros, we are going to make another project eventually. Right now, we're just focused on the side projects and the individual stuff we're doing.

"In the next few years or a year or so, we're gonna make more music together...I love to make music, and I'm always creating. It doesn't stop that creating bug."

MMMM...FOOOOOOOOD!
I'm typing this at 12:15pm, so this isn't helping the lunchtime craving over here!
Yesterday, "QSR Magazine" released its annual list of the 50 biggest quick-service and fast-food chains in the country, and ranked them by how many restaurants they opened or closed last year.

The big conclusions: Subway is still an unstoppable beast...Five Guys Burgers & Fries is growing faster than anyone, including their new Canton spot on The Strip...and you'd better get in your Quiznos now because it's in a lot of trouble.

Subway opened 816 new restaurants last year, which was easily the most. Dunkin' Donuts came in second, with 206 new openings.

Five Guys came in third. They opened 195...but that's more impressive considering they only had 541 in 2009. They grew 36% in one year...no other chain came close to that.

Other chains that had big growth in 2010 were Jimmy John's, Little Caesars, Chipotle, Papa John's, Papa Murphy's, Cold Stone Creamery, and Panera Bread.

On the other end, Quiznos shut down SIX HUNDRED locations last year. They're down from 3,703 restaurants to 3,101.

KFC had the second-worst year, losing 107 locations. Arby's was third-worst, losing 69...Hardee's was fourth-worst, losing 64...and CiCi's Pizza was fifth-worst, losing 31.

The list also includes sales revenue from 2010 and McDonald's is still, BY FAR, the biggest chain in the industry.

McDonald's did $32.4 BILLION in U.S. sales last year. Subway came in second...and didn't even make one-third that much. Here's the top five:

#1.) McDonald's, $32.4 BILLION
#2.) Subway, $10.6 BILLION
#3.) Burger King, $8.6 BILLION
#4.) Wendy's, $8.3 BILLION
#5.) Starbucks, $7.6 BILLION

Krystal made the least of the top 50 chains, at $377 MILLION. I've never even heard of that. The rest of the bottom five are Cold Stone Creamery, Einstein Brothers Bagels, Captain D's, and Tim Hortons.

In terms of revenue per location, Chick-Fil-A (!!!! EAT MOR CHIKIN!!!!) does the best, at an average of $2.7 MILLION per location. McDonald's is second, Jason's Deli is third, Panera Bread is fourth, and In-N-Out Burger is fifth.

Baskin-Robbins has the lowest revenue per location, at $220,000 per store. The rest of the bottom five are Cold Stone Creamery, Quiznos, Subway, and Little Caesars.

SUMMER VACAY TIME IS RUNNING OUT!
Were you aware that Monday was National Relaxation Day?

If you weren't, it's probably because National Relaxation Day is a made-up holiday created by Princess Cruise Lines. In their second annual "Relaxation Report", they found that Americans need some time to take it easy.

Nearly one in four Americans say that they've NEVER taken a relaxing vacation. (The survey doesn't make it clear whether they haven't taken a vacation, or just that all the ones they've taken were stressful. Sad, nonetheless.)

Of the 77% of us who HAVE had a relaxing vacation, it's been an average of three years since the last one.

That's why, according to Princess Cruises, three quarters of us are in favor of making August 15th a national holiday for relaxation.

The Relaxation Report also found that 74% of us say our health has suffered because of our inability to relax. Two out of five people say that it's harder to find time to relax than it is to stay within a budget.

Half of Americans say that smartphones make it harder to relax, and 54% of parents say that their ideal vacation would involve leaving their children at home.

OUR FAV SEXUAL POSITIONS!!
Planning on having yourself some sex this weekend? Want to think about how millions of other people are doing it at the same time? No? Well I'm going to tell you anyway.

The huge online adult store Adam & Eve surveyed more than 1,000 Americans and asked them to name their favorite sexual position. And the result is...we are really boring. Here are the results...

#1.) Missionary, 32%
#2.) From behind, 23%
#3.) Woman-on-top, cowgirl-style, 22%
#4.) Sixty-nine, 7%
#5.) Spooning, 6%
#6.) Woman-on-top facing away, reverse cowgirl-style, 4%
#7.) Other, 3%

Which still leaves 3% left over.

Adam & Eve then asked people who shopped at their website...in other words, people who buy adult toys online...and they had a VERY different result.

For that group, from behind was number one at 53%...cowgirl was second...reverse cowgirl was third...and missionary came in LAST. Although technically spooning and sixty-nine were last, because they got NO votes.

TAKE A HINT?
If you're looking to get a job where you can hook up with co-workers...become a lifeguard or work at an amusement park or something. Sweating your 20s away in a Taco Bell kitchen isn't really an environment to get all sexy.

But 24-year-old Jason Dean of Dalton, Georgia was going to try, dammit. Jason works at a Taco Bell in Ringgold, Georgia and had a thing for an 18-year-old female coworker. But every time he asked her out, she said no.

Finally, on Monday night, things reached their breaking point. While they were at work, Jason HANDCUFFED himself to the girl...and told his coworkers and the manager that he wouldn't unlock them until she talked to him.

The cops were called in, and Jason was arrested for false imprisonment, which is a felony.

MORE TOMORROW!

BIG PARTY SATURDAY!

2011-08-06T08:03:00.002-04:00

An HOF weekend unlike any other...

That's what I've heard several times, from different people in the last few days. It seems weird that today is essentially the last day of the festivities. And it seems the hype has been MUCH lower this year! Maybe that's just me. The concert line-up at the Ribs Burnoff is just about the weakest its ever been...or at least in a long time. Lack of a football game has and will hurt the local economy. It's a shame we won't get to see our city shine in the national spotlight. At least not as bright as we're used to.
Still, there are some GREAT, LEGENDARY players being inducted this year, including Marshall Faulk and Deion Sanders. Don't let the lack of a game over-shadow their fantastic contributions to the game we love.

Did you hit up some events though? Parade this morning? Food Fest or Ribs Burnoff this past week? Hope you did! If nothing else, it's FINE people watching.

ANYWAY, the reason you come here, let's get to it!

AT A WEDDING?
According to a new survey, the place where a man is most likely to cheat on his wife is...a WEDDING!! Hopefully not his own, I guess.

Of the men in the survey who'd cheated, 32% said they'd done it at a wedding, making that the top answer.

A relationship expert says that can make sense. "At a wedding, all the elements are present for one-night stands. Quite a bit of booze, dancing, people dressed to impress, an air of sexual electricity, and access to hotel rooms."

Bachelor parties came in as the second-most common place that men had cheated, at 27%

Office Christmas parties came in third, at 21%. And high school or college reunions came in fourth, at 9%.

The survey also asked women where they THOUGHT men were most likely to cheat on them...and weddings actually came in LAST.

STOP EATING POPCORN!!!
According to a recent study at UCLA, chemicals in the lining of the bag might cause infertility issues.

Wait...is that bad? Anyway...

And in animal testing, chemicals that are similar to the ones found in popcorn bags caused liver, testicular, and pancreatic cancer.

OK, well that is.

Manufacturers have agreed to stop using the chemical, but it won't be phased out until 2015.

So just go to the movies until then. Sure, its $6 for popcorn, but you won't die!!

I'VE BEEN SITTIN AT A BAR...
MAROON 5 singer ADAM LEVINE is working on another project with NBC...where he already serves as a coach on The Voice".

He's developing a sitcom set in a karaoke bar that will "blend comedy with vocal performances." It's pretty early in the process...so there's no word on a title, an airdate or casting.

Adam is an executive producer on the project, and at least for now, there's no indication that he'll actually appear on the show.

Adam hasn't commented on this. (But he did Tweet this mind-bending deep thought: Quote, "Just because I say things doesn't mean I don't regret them.")

AMERICA'S KINKIEST CITIES...
We've got plenty of kink for you right HERE, in America's heartland. Just book your flight to...Roselawn, Indiana?

The website Alternet.org put together a list of the 10 kinkiest cities in the U.S. based on strip clubs, sex stores, nudist resorts, and Internet searches. And, yep, Roselawn, Indiana beat out all the big boys.

They have a nudist resort called the Ponderosa Sun Club, and the annual Nudes-A-Poppin' pageant (seriously LOL), with strippers, porn stars, and drooling perverts. Here's the full list:

#1.) Roselawn, Indiana
#2.) New Orleans, Louisiana
#3.) Las Vegas, Nevada
#4.) Hurley, Wisconsin. They have the highest ratio of strip clubs-to-residents in the U.S. With 1,547 residents and six clubs, that's one strip club for every 258 residents.
#5.) Atlanta, Georgia
#6.) New York, New York
#7.) Austin, Texas
#8.) Southern New Mexico and Southern West Virginia...last year, based on a study of the kinky terms people used in online dating profiles, southern New Mexico had the kinkiest men, and southern West Virginia had the kinkiest women. Quite frankly, I am FRIGHTENED that the kinkiest women are in WEST VIRGINIA!
#9.) Chicago, Illinois
#10.) San Francisco, California

IT'S ON...BETWEEN TWO HAS-BEENS...
I'm going to go ahead and say IT'S ON between KELLY OSBOURNE and CHRISTINA AGUILERA...after Kelly called Christina a "FAT BITCH" on E! Oh, and she also called her the C-WORD.

Kelly was shooting a segment for E!'s "Fashion Police", when a photo of Christina in a tight black dress came up. After JOAN RIVERS commented that Christina looked like "Snooki's Scandinavian cousin", Kelly went off.

She said, "Maybe she's just becoming the fat bitch she was always born to be. I don't know. She was a [C-word] to me. And she bought my house!"

Kelly then explained why she was being so ruthless... "She called me fat for so many [effing] years, so you know what? [Eff] you, you're fat too!"

No response from Miss Aguilera...however, if you trace the feud all the way back to 2003, it appears KELLY started it all!

COOL VIDEO: BLINK-182's "UP ALL NIGHT"
The concept for BLINK-182'S new "Up All Night" video is pretty cool. It begins with this message: "To launch our first single in eight years, AT&T helped us search YouTube for every instance of fans using our music without our permission...

"And then we rewarded them for it. This film is made out of clips from all those videos. Thanks for being a fan."

And that's exactly what it is: A montage of clips from fans' videos that included their music.

Check it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eabtzkY_jNs

DATIN' UGGO'S...
I almost hate to say this and snap you out of your state of blissful ignorance. But what the hell. SOMEONE might as well tell you eventually.

A new study has proved that your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife isn't as HOT as you think they are.

Researchers at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands brought in 70 couples. They took headshot photographs of both people in every couple.

They had everyone rate their boyfriend or girlfriend's level of attractiveness, and their own level. Then, they had all of the other people go through the headshots and rate the attractiveness of the people in the pictures.

What did they find? Both men and women consistently rated their significant other's hotness MUCH HIGHER than strangers did. Both men and women also rated THEMSELVES hotter than strangers did.

But the researchers say this is actually a GOOD THING.
Other studies have shown that people who are delusional about how hot their partner is generally feel happier, more loving, and more trusting in a relationship.

THE EVOLUTION OF COOL...
For some reason, MSN decided to do an annoying slideshow of slang terms and where they came from. But the best part is looking at the evolution of slang terms for the word "cool" over the past 100 years.

It's amazing how we still use a lot of these today...SIKE!!!! (See what I did there?) Here are 29 ways to say something's "cool" over the past 100 years. And if some of them sound stupid, just think how lame WE'LL sound in a hundred years.

1910s: Ripping, jazz.
1920s: Bee's knees, cat's pajamas.
1930s: Bananas, gas, solid.
1940s: Hot damn, nuts, hepcat.
1950s: Keen, neato, boss.
1960s: Far-out, groovy, choice.
1970s: Gnarly, copasetic, dig it.
1980s: Awesome, tubular, rad.
1990s: Fresh, phat, all that, tight.
2000s: Crunk, beast, hot

More soon!

THE MUCH ANTICIPATED....UH YEAH...RETURN...

2011-07-23T08:17:00.002-04:00

Q&A:
Q: ROB, WHAT THE EFF?!
A: 'scuse me?

Q: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
A: um, right here...why?

Q: CAUSE YOU HAVEN'T POSTED A BLOG!
A: I'm awa-...hey, that's not a question

Q: FOCUS!!!
A: also not a question. see, look how focused I am.

Q: ARRRRGH!!! WHY HAVEN'T YOU POSTED ONE?!
A: did you ever hear of people getting busy? living and enjoying life?

Q: SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU WERE TOO BUSY TO TYPE ONE?
A: no. I'm just asking if you've ever heard of those things.

Q: YES I HAVE.
A: ok good. just making sure. and that's not a question. :)

ZINGER: SHE'S ENGAGED
Last weekend, NICOLE SCHERZINGER'S father broke the news that his daughter is engaged. Her fiancée is British Formula One racecar driver Lewis Hamilton.

She's 33, he's 26. WOOOO, going for the older women, Mr. Hamilton? GET IT!!!!
They've been together for four years.

...BUT WAIT!!!!
Somehow the Internet got something wrong.

She's tweeted "I woke up this morning and read we were engaged! Sorry to disappoint you all but it's not true."

So there ya go.

...AND ON THE OPPOSITE END OF THE AGE SPECTRUM...
When "Cruel Intentions" came out in 1999 and made RYAN PHILLIPPE a male sex symbol, DEMI LOVATO was seven years old. Just to put it into perspective for you.

And now, Ryan and Demi are apparently hooking up.

He's 36, divorced, and has three kids. She's literally half his age, at 18. And, according to E! News, they've been seeing each other, quote, "casually" for the past few months.

Things got a little tough for them, though, when Ryan's ex-girlfriend, Alexis Knapp, gave birth to Ryan's new daughter two weeks ago.

And it also might've gotten tough when she asked him to buy Smirnoff Ice for her and her friends. ZING!

Even though Demi's only 18, she's well on her way through a TAYLOR SWIFT-style path of getting dumped by male celebrities. She's already been through Joe Jonas, Miley Cyrus' brother Trace, and of course Wilmer Valderrama (Fez).

Ryan's also been pretty good about fornicating his way through Hollywood. After Ryan impregnated Alexis, he went on to date the sexy AMANDA SEYFRIED. And, of course, he was married to REESE WITHERSPOON and has two kids with her.

THE FAIR IS THIS WEEK...
...down in Carroll County. This story doesn't come from there, but it certainly could.
David Warner collided with several cars last Wednesday night and ended up being charged with drunk driving. That wouldn't seem strange...except he was winning the county fair demolition derby at the time.

David won the small car division at the Jessamine County Fair in...Kentucky!! (But of course)

When he got out of his car to get his trophy, David appeared to stumble, and officials and spectators told police he seemed drunk.

David admitted he'd pounded several Bud Lights before the competition to loosen up, but he denies that he was drunk. His defense needs a little work, though. He told a local news reporter, "I had eight beers...That's it!"

Police tried to give David a sobriety test, but he wasn't cooperative. He refused a breathalyzer and said, "I ain't blowin' in that (bleeping) tube, so you can shove it up your (hind-quarters)."

David was arrested and charged with DUI.

PANTS ON FIRE!!!
Breaking News: ENRIQUE IGLESIAS says that when he was a teenager, he, quote, "couldn't get laid." More Breaking News! Enrique Iglesias is clearly a liar.

Yeah. Apparently his incredible good looks and super-famous father weren't enough to get girls to date him. He says, "I was the king of heartbroken as a teenager. I was never the heartbreaker. I just couldn't get laid.

"Years later, lots of the girls that rejected me came back just because I was famous. t is actually kind of sad. [But] girls don't necessarily want to marry a famous person...I think they like the thought of having fun with them."

THE JOISEY SHORE...
The state of New Jersey is celebrating a new nationwide poll, which reveals that America's impression of New Jersey is NOT taking a hit because of "Jersey Shore".

In fact, people who have seen "Jersey Shore' actually think of the state in a MORE favorable light than people who haven't seen the show.

The survey...conducted by New Jersey's Fairleigh Dickinson University...found that 43% of people who've seen "Jersey Shore" are down with New Jersey, while 41% of those who hadn't seen the show were cool with the Garden State.

Of course, this poll is also inadvertently revealing that the MAJORITY OF AMERICANS will NOT admit to having a favorable impression of New Jersey. (Not that that's surprising or anything.)

Of all the 711 respondents, 18% said that they have an "unfavorable" impression, while the rest...roughly 40%...didn't have any strong feelings on New Jersey, one-way or the other.

By the way, the report found a pro-New Jersey woman from Philadelphia named Michelle Diaz that was willing to go on the record.

She said, "A lot of people from other states think Jersey is trashy, but when you come here, it's a totally different scene. It's a really beautiful beach here. We love it here!" (And as far as we know, she wasn't paid to say that.)

SO FOXY...
You wanna know why "Playboy" is in trouble? Because they think FOXY BROWN nude photos are worth MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

OK, actually, I'd look at those pics! What was that one song she had, in like 97 or 98? I liked it. ...ok, so maybe there's your proof of how relevant she is, a radio guy can't even remember one of her hit songs. Anyway...

According to Foxy, "Playboy" has offered her $2 MILLION to pose for the magazine and be on their cover. And she says she's still debating the offer.

When it comes to nudity, believe it or not, Foxy says she's SHY and RESERVED. "I'm cut from a different cloth. I would never [even] moon someone. I was raised in a good family."

That's so America. Nudity is the ultimate taboo but nonstop violence is fine. Less guns, more boobs. You heard it here first. #RobbieMack2012

A spokeswoman from "Playboy" wouldn't confirm or deny whether they've really made the offer to Foxy.

FROM "ALWAYS ON TIME" TO "ALWAYS SERVING TIME"...
JA RULE is currently doing two years in prison on a weapons conviction. And yesterday, he got 28 months tacked on for tax evasion.

Ja Rule didn't file income tax returns from 2004 through 2008...and no, it's not because that was well after he was relevant and he wasn't making money. Apparently he was. And he avoided paying more than $1.1 MILLION in taxes.

Ja can serve the sentences concurrently, so he'll do the time for tax evasion at the same time as he's serving this weapons charge. He'll probably be out some time late next year.

IT ALL ADDS UP...
This isn't exactly a scientific study, but it's interesting. A Yahoo writer with four kids decided to calculate how much everyday purchases end up costing her over a year. Things like Taco Bell runs and vending machine snacks. Check it out...

Fast Food: A multipack of Taco Bell tacos or a whole bunch of chicken nuggets at McDonalds are supposed to feed five people on a budget.

They both cost about $20, and at twice a week over a year, that's $2,080. Which could buy a LOT of groceries.

Vending Machines: Kids love begging for that one dollar to grab a vending machine snack, or a soda at the checkout line.

But even if you only give in to one of them, at $1 a day, that's $365 a year. With more kids, it's probably more like $600 a year.

Beauty: Are you a mom who indulges herself now and then? No Botox or waxing, just getting your nails done regularly, and hitting a nice hair salon four or five times a year.

At $22 to $34 for the nails, and $150 for the salon, that's about $1,944 a year.

Dinner and Drinks: If you even HAVE time to go out with friends when you have kids, let's say you do it twice a month, and it costs you $100 each time. You're looking at $2,400 a year.

BLINK PLACES BLAME FOR HIATUS...
BLINK-182 announced that they were going on "indefinite hiatus" in 2005...and eventually reunited in 2009. Now, they're about to release their first album in EIGHT YEARS. The album, "Neighborhoods", comes out September 27th, just a few weeks after their BLOSSOM show with MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

In a British radio interview, guitarist TOM DELONGE blamed the four-year hiatus on RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE. Not the band...he meant it literally...Blink-182 was mad at a "machine."

Tom said, "The band got so big that The Machine running the band took over. We were burnt out, we needed a break, but The Machine won't let you do that. The band had stopped communicating because The Machine was so big."

He added that the band regrets the split, which he called "really stupid" because, "It's not like anybody had sex with each other's wives." That being said, he did admit that they "hated each other" at the time...possibly because of The Machine.

THE HEAT: SHOT OVER AN AIR CONDITIONER!
You don't need me to tell you, it was RIDICULOUSLY hot and disgusting this week! And it's causing people to LOSE THEIR MIIIIINDS!!!!

29-year-old Jimmy Parker was visiting a friend on the third floor of an apartment building in Chicago. The friend had a leaky AC unit in her window, and it dripped condensation all the time.

And if you've ever accidentally walked under one of those things, and been splashed by a big fat drop of dirty water that's been collecting on a nasty old AC window unit...yeah, it sucks. But deal with it and move on.

Unfortunately that's not what happened here. A little after midnight that same night, a woman came up to the building to get into her place, and got splashed by the water. But she thought Jimmy POURED it on her. So she called the cops.

She also called her brother, 28-year-old Charles Sims, who came over an hour later to rectify the situation. He confronted Jimmy...punched him...and when Jimmy fought back, Charles...shot him eight times with a nine-millimeter handgun.

He appeared in court on Monday on a charge of first-degree murder, and is being held without bond...all because of a dripping AC unit.

TOO HOT THIS WEEKEND? CATCH A FLICK...
2 new ones out. CAPTAIN AMERICA takes on FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. I don't think you need me to explain what FWB's is about, but here's what MILA KUNIS had to say about filming sex scenes with JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

"We had two weeks' worth of sex scenes to shoot. Justin would just wear a sock that covered his frontal parts, so yeah, I could pretty much see everything. And I had tiny nipple pasties and a little pasty on my hoo-ha.

"We couldn't have been more uncomfortable in the beginning, but by the fourteenth day, we'd just drop our robes, like, 'Hey, how's it goin'?'"

BRIT BREAKS WIND!
A former cop named Fernando Flores worked as BRITNEY SPEARS' bodyguard between February and July of last year. He just filed a lawsuit against her for sexual harassment.

I'm pretty sure any straight man in America would LOVE TO BE sexually assaulted by Ms. Spears. COME ON!

Anyway, the lawsuit features a whole list of CRAZY BRITNEY BEHAVIOR. And that's beyond the usual stuff you'd expect. Check out what Fernando is alleging...

#1.) BAD HYGEINE. Britney regularly BREAKS WIND and PICKS HER NOSE, quote, "unapologetically." She also doesn't shower for days, never brushes her teeth, and rarely wears deodorant.

#2.) ALL KINDS OF DRUGS. He says Britney would take Ritalin...Narcone, which is used to treat heroin or morphine addictions...and METH.

#3.) CRAZY ACTIONS. Fernando says Britney would make her staff call her things like "Queen Bee" and, for some reason, "Jennifer." (???)

#4.) AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT. He says Britney made several unwanted sexual advances at him...and that she'd call him to her bedroom when she was naked and parade around in front of him.

OH THE HUMANITY IN THAT!!!!!! pffffffttttt........

He says he finally stormed out last July when she bent over in a short nightie to EXPOSE HERSELF to him. He's suing for $10 MILLION in damages.

AND HE'S SERIOUS ABOUT IT!!

Britney QUICKLY responded to this yesterday with one quick sentence. "He's a liar." Her lawyers have filed a motion to strike all of those allegations from the lawsuit because, they say, they're all blatantly false.

How about idiotic?

DOUCHIE COLLEGES!!
It's a little late for the college bound kids who just graduated, but just in time for the upcoming high school seniors applying to college: It's "GQ's" list of the "Douchiest Colleges in America."

Their methodology doesn't really hold up, but that's sort of fitting for the word 'douche.' Because these days, it's the kind of word that everybody's using on everyone else. Even douches. See what I mean? Anyway, here's the top ten.

#1.) Cornell...because it's cold, and they always have to remind you that they're in the Ivy League.

#2.) Penn State...because they're obsessed with their football team, and not much else. The stereotypical college 'douche' school.

#3.) Yale...because it's famous for being the fast-track to the highest levels of government power, etcetera.

#4.) Stanford...because the kids who go there are all rich, but pretend NOT to be, and they'll be richer than the rest of us when they graduate, by starting a successful tech company. Or something.

#5.) Pepperdine...it's full of rich, over-privileged girls with a sense of entitlement, who are simultaneously hardcore religious.

#6.) Brigham Young...because of the Mormon connection.

#7.) Bennington...because it's super expensive, and the kids are all overly serious.

#8.) University of Delaware...because of its fratty, "Jersey Shore"-like vibe.

#9.) MIT...because they're really nerdy? Again, this list doesn't make a ton of sense.

#10.) University of Florida...because it's full of buff dudes with tans, tattoos, and ink.

HORRIBLER EMPLOYEES!
A new survey by Captivate Office Pulse was supposed to tie in with that new movie "Horrible Bosses"...but it found that employees behave a lot worse.

The biggest complaint people had about their bosses was that they go out for lunch too much. That was listed by 56% of employees. 45% complained about work-time chats with family and friends, 42% mentioned planning parties and vacations during work hours. And 10% of bosses leave work early.

But while the boss is busy committing those relatively tame sins, employees are RUNNING AMOCK.

Employees are 50% more likely than their boss to take a smoke break during the day. They're 75% more likely to go for a mid-day stroll to get away from the office, and 53% more likely to leave the office to go shopping.

Even when they're at their desks, the employees are goofing off: Workers are 91% more likely than the boss to shop online during work hours, and 131% more likely to use Facebook and Twitter.

While 3% of bosses were caught by employees having sex in the office, employees are 50% more likely than the boss to try sexual hijinx at work.

MTV VMA NOMS...
The "MTV Video Music Award" nominees were announced Wednesday night, and KATY PERRY led the way with nine nominations...including Video of the Year and Best Female Video. Her "Firework" video is up for those.

ADELE and KANYE WEST are next with seven apiece. BRUNO MARS was nominated for four "Moonman" trophies. LADY GAGA, BEYONCÉ, NICKI MINAJ and EMINEM all got three each.

This year's ceremony goes down on August 28th. Voting is open now at VMA.MTV.com. (MTV claims you can vote up "through the show," but you'd think they'd have to cut it off at SOME point, right?)

If you're really crazy about VMA voting, you can vote on your phone at m.MTV.com...and Verizon subscribers can vote on all categories by texting "VMA" to 66333. As usual, standard texting rates apply.

Here's a list of all the categories you care about:

Video of the Year:
Katy Perry, "Firework"
Adele, "Rolling in the Deep"
Beastie Boys, "Make Some Sense"
Bruno Mars, "Grenade"
Tyler, the Creator, "Yonkers"

Best Collaboration:
Katy Perry featuring Kanye West, "E.T."
Kanye West featuring Rihanna and Kid Cudi, "All of the Lights"
Chris Brown featuring Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes, "Look At Me Now"
Nicki Minaj and Drake, "Moment 4 Life"
Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, Nayer, and Afrojack, "Give Me Everything"

Best Female Video:
Katy Perry, "Firework"
Adele, "Rolling in the Deep"
Beyoncé, "Run the World (Girls)"
Lady Gaga, "Born This Way"
Nicki Minaj, "Super Bass"

Best Male Video:
Bruno Mars, "Grenade"
Cee Lo Green, "[Eff] You"
Eminem featuring Rihanna, "Love the Way You Lie"
Justin Bieber, "U Smile"
Kanye West featuring Rihanna and Kid Cudi, "All of the Lights"

Best New Artist:
Big Sean featuring Chris Brown, "My Last"
Foster the People, "Pumped Up Kicks"
Kreayshawn, "Gucci Gucci"
Tyler, the Creator, "Yonkers"
Wiz Khalifa, "Black and Yellow"

Best Pop Video:
Katy Perry, "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)"
Adele, "Rolling in the Deep"
Britney Spears, "Till the World Ends"
Bruno Mars, "Grenade"
Pitbull featuring Ne-Yo, Nayer, and Afrojack, "Give Me Something"

Best Hip-Hop Video:
Chris Brown featuring Lil Wayne and Busta Rhymes, "Look At Me Now"
Kanye West featuring Rihanna and Kid Cudi, "All of the Lights"
Lil Wayne, "6 Foot, 7 Foot"
Lupe Fiasco, "The Show Goes On"
Nicki Minaj, "Super Bass"

Best Rock Video:
Cage the Elephant, "Shake Me Down"
Foo Fighters, "Walk" (great song btw!!!)
Foster the People, "Pumped Up Kicks"
Mumford & Sons, "The Cave"
The Black Keys, "Howlin' for You"

You can browse the COMPLETE list of nominees...including the "professional categories" like Best Cinematography and Editing...at the MTV's VMA website.

IRONY AWARD:
MTV WINS!! for hosting a music video awards show on a channel that show...well, NO VIDEOS!

HALFWAY THRU THE YEAR...

2011-07-02T08:19:00.001-04:00

...and being the music geek that I am, it means we're halfway thru a year in music. What are the top songs on Q92 so far this year? Check 'em out...

40. New Boyz feat. Dev & The Cataracs - BACK SEAT
39. Usher feat. Pitbull - DJ GOT US FALLIN' IN LOVE
38. Jeremih feat. 50 Cent - DOWN ON ME
37. Plain White T's - RHYTHM OF LOVE
36. Taio Cruz - DYNAMITE
35. Hot Chelle Rae - TONIGHT TONIGHT
34. Jessie J feat. B.o.B - PRICE TAG
33. Rihanna feat. Drake - WHAT'S MY NAME
32. Ke$ha - WE R WHO WE R
31. Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo - GIVE ME EVERYTHING

30. Nelly - JUST A DREAM
29. Katy Perry - FIREWORK
28. Dr. Dre feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey - I NEED A DOCTOR
27. Far East Movement feat. Ryan Tedder - ROCKETEER
26. Pitbull feat. T-Pain - HEY BABY (DROP IT TO THE FLOOR)
25. Lady Gaga - BORN THIS WAY
24. Lupe Fiasco - THE SHOW GOES ON
23. Ke$ha - BLOW
22. Three Days Grace - THE GOOD LIFE
21. Jennifer Lopez feat. Pitbull - ON THE FLOOR

20. Thirty Seconds To Mars - CLOSER TO THE EDGE
19. My Chemical Romance - SING
18. Diddy-Dirty Money - COMING HOME
17. Bruno Mars - THE LAZY SONG
16. The Script - FOR THE FIRST TIME
15. Black Eyed Peas - JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH
14. Tinie Tempah feat. Eric Turner - WRITTEN IN THE STARS
13. Rihanna - S&M
12. Christina Perri - JAR OF HEARTS
11. Linkin Park - WAITING FOR THE END

10. Pink - RAISE YOUR GLASS
09. Usher - MORE
08. Bruno Mars - GRENADE
07. My Darkest Days/Ludacris - PORN STAR DANCING
06. Katy Perry - E.T.

Numbers 5 thru 2 are all VERY CLOSE

05. Adele - ROLLING IN THE DEEP
04. Avril Lavigne - WHAT THE HELL
03. Cee Lo Green - EFF YOU
02. Enrique Iglesias feat. Ludacris - TONIGHT (I'M LOVIN' YOU)

And #1 so far on Q92, by quite a large margin actually....

01. PINK - F***IN' PERFECT

...yes, the non-radio versions of the top 3 hits, ALL feature the F word in the title! ha!

NICKI MINAJ SHOULD BE ASHAMED...

2011-06-30T09:57:00.002-04:00

...for NOT knowing who Peabo Bryson is! COME ON!!

Anyway...

RIHANNA, GRAB-ASSING...
RIHANNA is one of those artists who sells sex just as much as she sells music. I'm not complaining about that.
At the Staples Center in Los Angeles the other night, she paraded her stuff onstage in a weird bikini outfit decorated with jewels...and even grabbed her own backside.

Pics? Gotta hit the FB! http://www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage

WINNING!!!....BY TAKING THE ROIDS
When CHARLIE SHEEN gets into character, he goes all out. Charlie tells "Sports Illustrated" that he took STEROIDS while filming the 1989 comedy "Major League".

He says, "Let's just say that I was enhancing my performance a little bit. It was the only time I ever did steroids.

"I did them for like six or eight weeks. You can print this, I don't give a [eff]. My fastball went from 79 [miles-per-hour] to like 85."

He was also getting into a lot of fights at the time. But only part of that was due to 'roid rage. The other part was the teasing he took because of his character's lightning bolt haircut.

He says, "I didn't like the haircut because it generated so many comments in bars. I've got enough of that already. Add that to the mix, and it's a recipe for a fistfight."

JT BOUGHT MYSPACE...
After appearing in "The Social Network"...JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S latest project is to revitalize MySpace. In fact, he even bought a stake in it.

But it sounds like competing with Facebook is low on his list of priorities. He says, "There's a need for a place where fans can go to interact with their favorite entertainers, listen to music, watch videos, share and discover cool stuff and just connect.

Facebook anyone? Youtube? Yeah.

"MySpace has the potential to be that place. Art is inspired by people and vice versa, so there's a natural social component to entertainment.

"I'm excited to help revitalize MySpace by using its social media platform to bring artists and fans together in one community."

More people now view social media sites than porno sites.

Except for MySpace. No one goes there anymore.

Yesterday, a company called Specific Media bought MySpace from News Corp., which is the company that owns FOX.

Specific Media paid $35 MILLION for MySpace. When News Corp. bought it back in 2005, they paid $580 MILLION. Meaning that in six years, it lost 94% of its value.

News Corp. was initially hoping to get $100 MILLION.

As part of the sale, MySpace will be laying off more than half of its 450 employees. We're not entirely sure what those 450 employees were doing there, but that's not the point.

Specific Media has said they plan to, "rebuild and reinvigorate" MySpace and try to make it a place where people can watch media and interact with entertainers. Specific Media's main business is...........selling online ads.

DAY OF THE MUSIC NEWS...

2011-06-29T08:42:00.003-04:00

As I scroll thru countless stories this morning, I find NOTHING of interest. But then I get to a ton of music-related stories that might grab your attention...

BACK IN THE DAY MUSIC NEWS: COUNTING CROWS
If COUNTING CROWS singer ADAM DURITZ has a crazy BRITNEY SPEARS-like mental breakdown sometime in the near future, here's why:

Adam was diagnosed with a mental disorder a few years back, and now he's cutting back on the mood stabilizing medications he's taking...and he admits that he's doing it more AGGRESSIVELY than he should.

In a borderline CRAZY rant on the Counting Crows Facebook page, Adam says, "I was [effing] crazy. I needed meds. I took meds. Now I'm less crazy. I need less meds. I'm stopping meds. That's it.

"These meds just happen to have some freaking vicious withdrawal symptoms when you stop so u can't do it all at once."

Adam said his doctors have cleared him to cut his Lithium dosage in half, but apparently, he's not handling that very well. He continues, quote, "[Eff] me...not so good now. Gotta keep pushing / get off this [crap].

"Going faster than I should but it still takes too long. All my friends say how clear & present I am. 'Clear & present.' Horror. Not mutually exclusive."

Adam is NOT doing this to lead a "sober life." He explains, "These are not drug addiction problems...I like drinking. A lot. Sober = not for me."

Instead, he's doing it so he can work. He explains, "I stopped dropping the meds dosages for recording. Couldn't shake uncontrollably & sing at the same time. Forgivable."

In 2008, Adam told "Men's Health" magazine, "I have a form of dissociative disorder that makes the world seem like it's not real, as if things aren't taking place. It's hard to explain, but you feel un-tethered."

LINKIN PARK COVERS ADELE...
CHESTER BENNINGTON and MIKE SHINODA from LINKIN PARK recently did an impromptu, unplugged version of ADELE'S "Rolling in the Deep".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miNntiKSvXY

PATRICK STUMP (FALL OUT BOY) HAS A NEW SINGLE WITH LUPE FIASCO...
Former FALL OUT BOY singer PATRICK STUMP has released a solo single called "This City", which features rapper LUPE FIASCO. The "city" it's about is Chicago...the hometown of both Patrick and Lupe.

It'll be on Patrick's upcoming album, "Soul Punk", which will be out later this year. There's no release date yet.
http://youtu.be/EhTYFuRWheU

IT'S A SCIENTIFIC FACT...Q92 MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!!
Occasionally I forget that I am a GOD OF HAPPINESS, making the world a better place every day with merely the power of my voice. So it's nice when a study like this reminds me.

According to a scientific study, listening to the radio makes people happier than watching TV or surfing the Internet. YOU'RE WELCOME!!

In the study, people felt a 100% boost in their happiness and a 300% boost in their energy levels when they were listening to the radio versus not consuming any type of media.

WOW!!!

TV and the Internet also boosted people's happiness, but only about HALF as much as radio.

Mark Barber of Britain's Radio Advertising Bureau explained the results. "Radio plays an important emotional role in people's lives. People use radio as a lifestyle support system."

That's right. Take THAT, internet! Bitches.

MEN ARE STILL DISGUSTING...
Just checking and...yep. Men, in general, are still wallowing in their own filth as much as ever.

Clorox Bleach just released the results of a nationwide survey which found that about one out of eight men wear their underwear AT LEAST TWICE before they wash it. And that's just the number who ADMIT to doing that.

Here are some more of their findings...
About half of men use the "sniff test" to figure out if their clothes are fresh enough to wear again without washing.

An average man wears jeans at least four or five times before washing them.

About a quarter of men age 18 to 29 only wash their sheets once a month...the majority of women in that age range wash their sheets at least once a week.

Single women are more than twice as likely as married women to BUY CLOTHES to avoid laundry.

More than one-third of single women own more than 20 pairs of underwear.

Only 29% of married women say their husband helps out equally with the laundry.

WOMEN HATE ON THEIR BODIES...A LOT.
Ladies, no matter how many bad things people say about you, there's NO WAY they're harsher on you than you are on yourself.

According to a study of more than 2,000 women, 97% of women say THIRTEEN negative things about their body every single day.

Only 3% of women say that a day sometimes goes by when they don't have a negative feeling about their body.

The survey also found that 90% of women 15 to 64 want to change at least one thing about their appearance. And their weight was number one.

LET'S TALK VANITY PLATES...

Since clearly you woke up today saying, "Hey! I'm so curious about vanity license plates. I sure hope someone tells me all about them"...your dream has come true. Here are seven random facts about vanity plates.

#1.) About 9.3 million vehicles in the U.S. have customized vanity license plates.

#2.) The 46 states that offer vanity license plates only made $177 MILLION off the fees...or an average of about $19 per plate.

#3.) Texas is the first state to start auctioning off the best one-word vanity plates. The plate reading "FERRARI" recently sold for $15,000, "PORSCHE" went for $7,500, and "AMERICA" went for $3,000.

#4.) The most expensive vanity plate ever sold was in Abu Dhabi in 2008...someone paid $14.3 MILLION for a plate with the number "1" only.

#5.) Virginia has the most drivers with vanity plates, at 16%. It's followed by New Hampshire and Illinois.

#6.) Texas has the fewest vanity plates at 0.56%.

#7.) Studies have found that people with vanity plates and bumper stickers have more of a "territory marker" mentality...and are more likely to honk at other drivers, tailgate, and experience ROAD RAGE.

THE TUESDAY UPDATE...

2011-06-28T08:54:00.002-04:00

.....because I haven't updated this thing in a week :)
Hangin' on the 3-7pm show on Q92 all week, give a listen on your way home.

IDOL AUDITIONS...
"American Idol" has announced the audition dates for Season 11. Here they are:

--St. Louis, Missouri...Tuesday, June 28th at Scottrade Center
--Portland, Oregon...Saturday, July 2nd at Rose Garden
--San Diego, California...Friday, July 8th at Petco Park
--Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania...Friday, July 15th at Heinz Field
--Charleston, South Carolina...Friday, July 22nd at North Charleston Coliseum
--Denver, Colorado...Friday, July 29th at INVESCO Field at Mile High
--Houston, Texas...Friday, Aug. 26th at Reliant Park

FACEBOOK STATS...
Here's more proof that Facebook has changed the definition of the word "friend." According to a new study, the average Facebook user has never even met 7% of their Facebook friends. That works out to about one out of every 14 "friends."

And there's another 3% who you've only met ONCE. That's one out of 10 friends who you've met zero or once.

Here's the full list of how the average Facebook numbers broke down...

The average person has 229 Facebook friends.
--22%, or about 50 of those friends are from high school.
--12%, or about 27, are extended family.
--10%, or about 23, are coworkers.
--9%, or about 21, are from college.
--8%, or about 18, are immediate family.
--7%, or about 16, are from extracurricular groups or clubs you belong to.
--2%, or about five, are neighbors.
--And of course, 7%, or about 16, are people you've never met.
--The rest come from miscellaneous other places.

ADELE HAS QUIT SMOKING...GOOD FOR HER!
Earlier this month, ADELE came down with laryngitis and was forced to cancel her tour. Well, she's in the process of recovering...and as part of that she's decided to quit smoking.

In an update on her site, she wrote, "I can't wait to be able to sing again, I'm bored stiff...I'm on the mend, I still need to take it easy and rest but things are looking up...I've given up smoking again!"

BRAND THAT WILL (POSSIBLY) GO AWAY IN 2012:
Every year, the website 24/7 Wall Street compiles a list of brands that are about to go extinct. Sometimes they're a little off...last year they predicted the end of BP, Kia Motors, Zales Jewelry, and the credit rating agency Moody's.

On the other hand, they accurately called the demise of T-Mobile, Blockbuster, and the car rental company Dollar Thrifty, which is barely hanging on. Here are their predictions for the ten brands that'll go extinct NEXT year, or within the next 18 months.

The list is based on a bunch of things, including: A fall-off in sales...steep losses...worrying disclosures from the parent company...rising costs...companies getting sold...and bankruptcy.

#1.) Sony Pictures . . . It used to be Columbia Tri-Star Pictures, and they'll probably sell it.

#2.) A&W . . . The root beer will survive, thank god, but the restaurants can't compete :(

#3.) Saab . . . Do you know anyone who still drives one? OR EVER DID?!

#4.) American Apparel . . . They expanded too fast, and their founder's a defendant in a bunch of sexual harassment lawsuits.

#5.) Sears . . . The failed merger of Sears and K-Mart means one brand has to go.

#6.) Sony Ericsson . . . It'll probably be folded into Sony.

#7.) Kellogg's Corn Pops . . . Breakfast got healthier. And Corn Pops ain't it.

#8.) MySpace . . . Who?

#9.) Soap Opera Digest . . . Well, there aren't any more soaps. So . . .

#10.) Nokia

THE FIVE MOST-GERM-FILLED SPOTS IN A BACHELOR PAD...
If you're a single guy...or a single woman spending the night with a single guy...check out this article from "Men's Health" about the five most germ-filled spots in a bachelor pad.

#1.) The Towel. Every time you use a towel, skin cells rub off on it, and that's like food for bacteria. Plus, bacteria thrives on damp towels because the texture of the fabric offers lots of places to go unnoticed until it gets transferred back onto you.

In general, you shouldn't use the same towel for more than a week without washing it. But a lot of single guys go much longer than that.

#2.) The Bed Sheets. The same rule applies, and again, most single guys don't follow it. You're supposed to wash your sheets once a week with hot water, because cold water doesn't kill the bacteria.

According to a study at the University of Arizona, your sheets contain 0.1 grams of salmonella, E. coli, and FECES after just one night's sleep.

#3.) The Remote Control. In a University of Virginia study, 50% of remotes tested positive for rhinovirus...a.k.a., the common cold. Unfortunately, sanitizers don't work very well on remotes because they don't get in the cracks.

And the solution offered up by "Men's Health" pretty much sucks too. They say to buy a plastic-sleeve protector that you can wipe down.

And they suggest using zip-lock bags when you're staying at a hotel.

#4.) The Carpeting. You're supposed to have your carpet steam-cleaned at least once a year, which is something single guys don't do...along with pretty much everyone else.

But carpeting can be really disgusting: According to research from NYU, the carpet in a bachelor pad could have around 200,000 bacteria per square inch, making it 4,000 times dirtier than the toilet seat.

#5.) The Vacuum Cleaner. It's not surprising since you roll it around the disgusting carpeting all the time. According to one study, half of all vacuum brushes have fecal matter on them, 13% have E. coli, and virtually all of them have mold.

So they recommend spraying the brush with disinfectant after every use. And if you're buying a new vacuum, you might want to invest in a bag-less model. The disposable bag vacuums actually promote more bacterial growth. Now you know

SHEEN-ANIGANS
A while back we heard that CHARLIE SHEEN'S "Two and a Half Men" character, Charlie Harper, would NOT be killed off. Mainly because it's a comedy, and there's really no reason to lay anything that heavy on the fans.

But also because it leaves the door open for Charlie to make appearances if he and creator CHUCK LORRE were to ever bury the hatchet.

But now, TMZ claims that Chuck IS going to kill Charlie off, just to ensure that he can NEVER return to the show.

Supposedly, the producers are kicking around several death scenarios, including having Charlie drive his car off a cliff. Which would be interesting, since two of Charlie's cars have been "mysteriously stolen" and driven off cliffs right near his home.

Then ASHTON KUTCHER'S character would join the show by purchasing the house...which belonged to Charlie.

LADIES, APPLY NOW: CHARLIE NEEDS NEW GODESSES!!!
CHARLIE SHEEN officially has NO GODDESSES. NATALIE KENLEY has left the building...two months after BREE OLSON also struck out on her own.

A so-called "source" says, "He's not in one of the best places right now, things are very tense. It has nothing to do with her, [the relationship] just ran its course."

Still, TMZ says Charlie demanded that Natalie return a Mercedes of his that she'd been using. Not out of spite, though...just because it's an expensive car, and he never meant to actually give it to her.

I guess we're a far cry from the days when Charlie just showered cash and expensive gifts on women.

They also claim that the night Natalie left, Charlie had sex with THREE different women: One from Mexico, one from Australia and one from Colombia.

Meanwhile, a source says Charlie was looking for some new ladies anyway..."Charlie won't be single for long. Let's just say there are a lot of irons in the fire if you know what I mean."

THE LAZY CITY...
I would tell the people of Lexington, Kentucky to give themselves a big round of applause...but lifting their arms and moving their hands back and forth might qualify as aerobic exercise. And that might cost them this honor.

"Men's Health" just ranked the 100 largest cities in the U.S. by LAZINESS...and Lexington was named THE laziest city in the country.

The rankings are based on exercise rates, the percentage of households that watch more than 15 hours of TV a week and buy more than 11 video games a year, and the death rates from sitting-related diseases like deep-vein thrombosis.

Lexington finished in last place. It's just lazier than Indianapolis in 99th place...Jackson, Mississippi in 98th...Charleston, West Virginia in 97th...and Oklahoma City, Oklahoma in 96th.

On the other end of the list, Seattle was named the least lazy city in the U.S. It just beat out San Francisco...Oakland...Washington, D.C....and Salt Lake City.

OHIO cities on the list? COLUMBUS rolls in at 78. CINCINNATI is 76. CLEVELAND is at 58.

ANOTHER POSTCARD...WITH CHIMPANZEEEEEEEES....
^Barenaked Ladies anyone? No? OK, anyway...

I wouldn't check the mail this summer looking for classy postcards from your friends...you know, the ones that show half-naked women on beaches with the slogan "Wish you were her."

Postcards are about to join the ever-growing list of old institutions that have been murdered by modern technology. According to a new survey, only about 15% of people still sometimes send postcards from vacations.

35% of people prefer to send photos immediately from their smartphones when they're on vacation.

And as you'd expect, people 18 to 24 are least likely to send a postcard, and most likely to send texts. People 35 to 54 are most likely to send postcards.

HONEY, PUT ON THAT PARTY DRESS...

2011-06-18T07:16:00.002-04:00

...cause it's the weekend.

UNDER AGE 23? YOU CAN PASS ON ADELE...
Candy-coated British minx ADELE is only 23 years old. So she's looking for an older guy. Not too old...but she definitely doesn't want to go YOUNGER.

She says, "I don't have a type. Never have. Older, but not as in 50. Not younger than me. I'm pretty young so it would be like [effing] Justin Bieber! Any color. Any shape. But they've got to be funny."

Adele isn't really high on the idea of dating a fellow GINGER...but she's willing to break that rule for one particular guy..."I'm after PRINCE HARRY. I know I said I wouldn't go out with a ginger, but it's Prince Harry!

"I'd be a real duchess then. I'd love a night out with him, he seems like a right laugh."

LUPE FIASCO SAYS OBAMA IS A TERRORIST...
LUPE FIASCO is one of the more "socially conscious" mainstream rappers, and this week, he used his pedestal to say that he thinks PRESIDENT OBAMA is a "terrorist," and that he doesn't vote because it's "meaningless."

Now, Lupe backed up what he said with an explanation...and while his thoughts aren't exactly patriotic, you may be able to see where he's coming from.

Here's what Lupe said: "To me, the biggest terrorist is Obama in the United States of America. For me, I'm trying to fight the terrorism that's actually causing the other forms of terrorism.

"The root cause of terrorism is the stuff that the U.S. government allows to happen, the foreign policies that we have in place in different countries that inspire people to become terrorists. And it's easy for us...

"Because it’s really just some oil that we can really get on our own."

TRANSLATION: Lupe feels that the terrorism that is targeted at the U.S. is brought upon by what we do and how we conduct ourselves overseas...not necessarily by who we are independent of those actions. Our "freedom", say.

He also suggests that oil is the sole reason that we're meddling in those areas, and questions our need to be involved in that particular oil trade.

And here's how he explained not voting: "I don't vote. I don't get involved in politics. Because it's meaningless, to be honest. First of all, I'm a real big believer if I'm going to vouch for someone, I'm going to stand behind everything they do.

"If I'm going to say I stand behind this person and write on a piece of paper that says I stand for this person, then I have to take responsibility for everything that he does.

"Because that’s just how I am as a human being. Politicians aren't going to do that, because I don't want you to bomb some village in the middle of nowhere."

But voting IS important.
Obviously, you're not going to find a candidate that shares your views on EVERYTHING. You're voting for someone to represent the entire country, and are supposed to choose the person you believe would best fill that position.

Even if it's for an independent, third-party candidate...vote. It's our freedom and our right.

RIGHT HERE...THIS IS WHY I DON'T WANNA BE OLD...
On Sunday, 78-year-old Salomon Gasca and his wife, 73-year-old Lorenza Gasca, were at brunch with their family in Houston, Texas. Then they got in the car to drive to another relative's house about a mile away.

But they never showed up.

Finally, after several hours, their family members called the police and reported them missing.

After THREE DAYS of being missing, police finally got a hit on their license plate...524 miles east, in Pensacola, Florida.

Apparently, Salomon and Lorenza made one wrong turn during their one-mile drive to their relative's house and just kept driving. And driving. And driving.

The police in Pensacola checked them into a motel. Both are on blood pressure medication but seemed to be alright. Their daughter got in her car and drove to Florida to get them. (Hopefully she doesn't end up in Arizona.)

I WISH THAT I COULD HAVE THIS MOMENT FOR LIFE...
What would you pick if you had to rate the top five experiences of your life?

A new survey asked men and women to rank the top five moments of their lives. Here's how it broke down.

For men, the top moments went: Getting married...having a child...moving out of their parents' home...getting their first job...and then buying a home.

So, I guess in theory, I still have 3 cool things to look forward to!

For women, the top moments went: Having a child...getting married...moving out of their parents' home...buying a home...and then getting their first job.

The first kiss ranked sixth on both lists.

The survey also found the average ages of different milestones.

People get their first pet at 11...have their first kiss at 14...get their first job at 17...fall in love at 18...not coincidentally lose their virginity at 18...experience heartbreak at 20...leave home at 20...

Establish a career at 23...get married at 25...buy a home at 27...have a child at 27...divorce at 34 (is it kind of sad that this is even on the list?)...have a midlife crisis at 41...have their first grandchild at 54...and retire at 59.

CHARACTERISTICS OF A CHEATER...
AshleyMadison.com is that horrible (horribly wonderful? kidding) website designed for people who want to discreetly have affairs. Meaning pro-athletes and congressmen clearly aren't on it, because apparently none of them care about discretion.

Anyway, they ran a study of 300,000 of their members in Australia...yeah, 300,000 people want to cheat...to figure out the most common characteristics of a cheater.

Here's what they found...
They're more likely to be Christian than any other religion.
They're more likely to be politically liberal.
They've probably had more than one affair. And about one out of 10 people have had at least six affairs.
There's a four out of five chance they use a PC and not a Mac.
About 84% choose Coke over Pepsi.
Less than 5% are vegetarians.
And Gender doesn't matter...men and women are about equally likely to cheat.

WEDDING SEASON!
According to TheKnot.com, "wedding season" is June through October. So here's a list from ModernMan.com for single men who want to take full advantage of it.

These are four tips for hooking up with a bridesmaid...or basically ANY single woman at a wedding.

#1.) Bring a Nice Digital Camera. Borrow one from a friend if you need to. The more expensive it looks, the better. Just don't go overboard and bring a camera with a gigundous zoom lens. You'll look like an idiot.

Women spend a lot of time getting ready for weddings, so they love having their photo taken. And if some guy with a good camera is taking pictures, they'll eventually want to be in one.

Then just tell her how good she looks in it, and take it from there.

#2.) Attend the Actual Ceremony. Single guys don't have girlfriends dragging them along. So sometimes they just skip the ceremony, and show up at the reception. Do not do this.

Going to the ceremony is important because it gives you a head start on finding a girl you're interested in. Plus, if the girl you end up talking to eventually finds out that you didn't go to the wedding, she'll think you're a scumbag.

#3.) Dance With an Older Woman. Owen Wilson dances with one of the little flower girls in "Wedding Crashers"...this is the same idea. And you should do it for two reasons.

One, it makes you look sweet. And two, it also lets every woman in the room know that you're probably available...because otherwise you'd be dancing with your date.

#4.) Know When She's About to Head to the Bar. When you hear the DJ say something like, "This one's for all the couples," or "We're gonna slow things down for a minute," that's your cue.

That's when every single girl on the dance floor will either head for the bar or the bathroom. Since you can't talk to them in the bathroom, the bar is a slightly better choice.

COSMO THINKS...
...you need help with your sex life. Thanks, Cosmo, for this little piece.

Everyone needs a little variety in their sex life. So to help you out, the people at "Cosmo" compiled a list of six types of sex all couples should be having. If you've been a little bored in the bedroom lately, you should call me...I mean, listen up...

#1.) Take-Your-Sweet-Time Sex. Because when you slow things down, you'll be more focused on enjoying each other. After all, sex is about the journey, not sprinting to the finish line . . . Right?

#2.) Quickie Sex. Quickies are great because they give you the most bang for your buck.

#3.) Take-Charge Sex. This is where one of you backs off and lets the other person run the show.

#4.) Show-off Sex. This just means having your way with yourself in FRONT of your partner. Not only is it insanely intimate, it gives you both a chance to see how you handle yourselves when the other person's not around. You might learn something.

#5.) Animalistic Sex. This is the raw, primal, grunting kind of relations that wakes neighbors, scares pets, and breaks furniture. We'll let you guess which position works best for this. (--Hint: Woof.)

#6.) Comfort Sex. Sure, hot and wild sex is great, but every once in a while you just want the tried-and-true moves you KNOW will work. It may not be as exciting, but it makes you feel good, and that's usually the point.

THE CHEF DID IT!
According to a new survey, 13% of people admit that at some point, their cooking has given someone FOOD POISONING.

And this might be why: The survey also found that 15% of people have served food that fell on the floor, and 10% cooked and served something that had some ingredients that were past their sell-by date.

5% of people say that they've defrosted food using an "alternative" heating device, like an iron, hairdryer, or tanning bed.

FEZ JUST CAN'T CATCH A BREAK...
On That 70's Show, Fez is the guy who's ALWAYS the single one...still the virgin...
You may not have known this, because it was very much under-the-radar, but DEMI LOVATO had been dating Fez, aka WILMER VALDERRAMA. He was with her before and during her recent treatment for "emotional and physical issues."

But he's not with her anymore. They broke up recently. A source says, "The age difference meant they were in completely different places in their lives."

That's not surprising. He's 31...she's 18.

TOP TV DADS...
Just in time for Father's Day, the people at Harris Interactive surveyed more than 2,000 American adults and asked them which TV dads they would have wanted as THEIR dad growing up.

And the winner in a landslide was...BILL COSBY as Cliff Huxtable on "The Cosby Show". It's gotta be the sweaters. He was number one for both men and women, and across all age groups, all races, and all political affiliations.

This is the second time that Harris has run this survey. The first time was in 2009 and the result was the exact same: Two years ago we still envied Theo and Rudy.

Here's the full top 15:

#1.) Cliff Huxtable, "The Cosby Show"
#2.) Ward Cleaver from "Leave it to Beaver"
#3.) Jim Anderson from "Father Knows Best"
#4.) Howard Cunningham from "Happy Days"
#5.) Andy Taylor from "The Andy Griffith Show"
#6.) Mike Brady from "The Brady Bunch"
#7.) Ozzie Nelson from "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"
#8.) Charles Ingalls from "Little House on the Prairie"
#9.) Tim Taylor from "Home Improvement"
#10.) Ben Cartwright from "Bonanza"
#11.) Danny Tanner from "Full House"
#12.) Peter Griffin from "Family Guy"
#13.) Steve Douglas from "My Three Sons"
#14.) Dan Conner from "Roseanne"
#15.) Archie Bunker from "All in the Family"

Peter Griffin and Dan Conner are new additions this year.

They bumped out Homer Simpson from "The Simpsons" and Al Bundy from "Married with Children", who tied for 14th place in 2009.

HEY, WE AREN'T DIRTY!
"Travel + Leisure" magazine just put out a list of the top 20 dirtiest cities in America. And by "dirty," they mean actual dirt, air pollution, and litter...not "dirty" like skanky and morally questionable. (Although, where is THAT list? Anyway...)

Although either way, the number one city was obviously going to be New Orleans.

And in fact, New Orleans IS number one on this list because of the sheer volume of litter on the street...some of which is people's fault, some of which was caused by Katrina.

The rest of the top 10 is: Philadelphia . . . Los Angeles . . . Memphis . . . New York City . . . Baltimore . . . Las Vegas . . . Miami . . . Atlanta . . . and Houston.

Numbers 11 through 20 are: San Juan, Puerto Rico . . . San Francisco . . . Dallas/Fort Worth . . . Boston . . . Washington, D.C. . . . San Antonio . . . Orlando . . . Chicago . . . Kansas City, Missouri . . . and Anchorage, Alaska.

J.LO A NO-GO FOR 'IDOL'???
STEVEN TYLER and RANDY JACKSON have deals in place to return to "American Idol" next season...but JENNIFER LOPEZ doesn't. Last fall, she signed a one-year contract...reportedly worth $12 million.

The show wants her back, so the ball is in J-Lo's court...but she hasn't made up her mind yet.

J-Lo told the BBC, "I don't know. I haven't been forced to make a decision and I'm glad about that because honestly I'm very on the fence about it.

"I had an amazing time doing it and I loved it...but I have a lot of other things happening, and it's going to come down to me making a choice of what I want to do for the next year...I'm just really enjoying the time of just waiting and seeing."

10 TYPES OF CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE...
A blogger put together this list about men cheating on their wives and ranked them in order from least to most EVIL. Check 'em out, and see if you agree.

#1.) He leaves you for a man. It's the least evil because he finally admits he's gay, so your marriage was a sham anyway.

#2.) He leaves you for another woman because he says he doesn't love you anymore. If he's being honest, this will still hurt, but you'll recover and move on.

#3.) He cheats with a woman you've never met. In this case, he doesn't have an excuse like he's gay or doesn't love you...he just kinda cheats without any deeper reason.

#4.) He cheats on you with a prostitute. Even though there's no emotional element, he does open you up to the risk of an STD.

#5.) He cheats on you with an employee. Like, say, an intern.

#6.) He cheats on you with an employee who's a member of the household. Like, say, your kids' nanny.

#7.) He cheats on you with your best friend. This sucks because you lose your husband AND your best friend.

#8.) He cheats on you with your best friend who's married to his best friend. That ruins TWO marriages and several friendships in one move.

#9.) He cheats on you with your sister. Now that's screwing with your marriage AND your family.

#10.) He cheats on you with your daughter (who is not his daughter). That's right...in this list, WOODY ALLEN is a bigger villain than Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and everyone else.

AMISH GET DUI...IN BUGGY
Apparently, there are some AMISH people out there who love to get DRUNK...even if they have to stomp their own grapes for the wine and drink it by candlelight.

Go with me now to the town of Volant, PA. It's just over the border in Lawrence County...very near the Grove City Outlets, if you've ever hit those.

21-year-old Andy Byler is an Amish guy from Volant. On Sunday night, he and a 17-year-old Amish female, whose name wasn't released, were driving a HORSE-AND-BUGGY...and they were drunk.

At one point, they SWERVED in front of an actual car...and that car hit their HORSE.

Fortunately, no one was hurt. The horse was injured but is going to survive.

When the police got there, they detected alcohol on the breath of both Andy and the female.

Since both of them hold the reins when they drive the buggy, both were arrested for DUI.

GET BIZZY...
A couple of BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY fans claim BIZZY BONE assaulted them...for NO REASON. Here's their story: The two male fans each paid $80 for a meet-and-greet on Bizzy's tour bus in Chicago last Thursday night.

But they say when they got on the bus, Bizzy flipped out, screamed at them, and began throwing punches at both guys. Apparently, this came totally out of the blue.

Someone eventually got between them...but not before both fans got bruised-up. One of the guys claims Bizzy broke his nose. A police report was filed...and an investigation is underway. Bizzy has not commented.

IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE THE WEEKEND...
Because we couldn't get our FRIDAY fix yesterday!

Thursday, REBECCA BLACK yanked her tragically brilliant "Friday" video from YouTube. Apparently, there's some bad blood between Rebecca's people and Ark Music Factory, the company that created the video and wrote the song.

Yes, Rebecca has "people"...and one of them told TMZ, "We can confirm that we submitted a 'Take Down Notice' to YouTube as a result of the dispute we have with Ark Music regarding the 'Friday' video."

There aren't any other details, but it sounds like they're battling over who has the rights to control and make money off of "Friday". Although from what we've heard, the rights are Rebecca's.

Btw, there were signs of trouble last weekend, when the official "Friday" video disappeared from YouTube, then came back as a $2.99 rental...(?!?)...and then went back to being free, but with an ad airing before it.

Ark Music Factory's YouTube account was hosting the video...and before it was taken down, 167,370,534 watched that official version of it. Fun, fun, fun fun!

MOST POPULAR EATS...
There's a new study out that's officially about the rising cost of food worldwide, and how it's changing what people eat. Which is moderately interesting...

But what I latched onto is how they went country-by-country, and surveyed tens of thousands of people on their favorite foods. So we have the top 15 for the U.S.

Our most popular food? PIZZA. No shocker there. 15.2% of Americans say that pizza is their number one favorite food. umber two is STEAK, third is CHICKEN, fourth is MEXICAN, and fifth is PASTA.

TAKE THAT, VEGETARIANS!

Numbers six through 15 are: Italian . . . seafood . . . burgers . . . ice cream . . . sushi . . . chocolate . . . Chinese . . . tacos . . . salad . . . and finally, spaghetti.

GOOGLE IS COSTING YOUR OFFICE *A LOT*
In case you missed it, last Thursday and Friday, Google changed the logo on its homepage to look like a LES PAUL guitar, in honor of Les Paul's birthday. And you could actually use your mouse to strum the guitar and record songs.

Well...people LOVED it. And according to a technology consulting company, it cost the world $268 MILLION in lost productivity.

That's a rough estimate based on Google's finding that the average person spent an extra 26 seconds on their homepage when the guitar was up...and there were 740 million visits to the page over the two days.

Still wanna play? Head here: http://www.google.com/logos/2011/lespaul.html

DAD'S DAY FACTS
According to a new poll, 80% of people agree that Mother's Day gets more attention than Father's Day. But the amount of money people are spending on Dads this year has actually gone up.

Last year the average dad got $94 worth of ties, gadgets, and other stuff he won't use. This year it's expected to be $106. But people spent an average of over $140 dollars on their moms this year. Here are three more interesting facts about Father's Day...

#1.) It Was First Celebrated Over 100 Years Ago. After Mother's Day in 1909, a woman in Spokane, Washington named Sonora Smart-Dodd...who was raised by a single father...decided she wanted to pay tribute to him.

The idea caught on, but it wasn't recognized as an official U.S. holiday until 1972.

#2.) Father's Day Is More Satisfying for Dads Than Mother's Day Is for Moms. That's according to the University of Massachusetts. One reason is that moms expect to be relieved of chores like cooking and cleaning...and that doesn't always happen.

#3.) Father's Day Is the Fourth Largest Greeting Card Holiday in the U.S. According to Hallmark, about 90 million cards are exchanged on Father's day...about $749 million worth.

50% of them are bought by children, 15% percent come from wives, and the other 35% come from stepchildren, grandchildren, parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews.

The only holidays when people buy more cards are Mother's Day, with 141 million...Valentine's Day, with 152 million...and Christmas, which blows the rest of them away with an estimated 1.8 BILLION cards sent each year.

HOT.AS.SHUT YO MOUF

2011-06-08T07:17:00.002-04:00

www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage

Well here it is. The hottest day of the year. So far anyway. While you're cooking, I'll be hanging out in the box...Q92 3-7pm this afternoon, let's do it.

SNOOP WANTS A HIP-HOP 'IDOL'...
SNOOP DOGG is developing a TV show. And out of ALL the limitless possibilities...including reality shows...he's doing the one thing that we really don't need any more of at this point: A SINGING COMPETITION SHOW.

It's being described as a "hip-hop version of 'American Idol'."

The "New York Post" says Snoop is currently pitching the show to networks, and has received interest from MTV and E!. Supposedly, he's been turned down by NBC, Bravo and the female-oriented Oxygen network.

Snoop plans on being a judge...alongside JAY-Z and, "an old-school legend." (But who's going to be the snarky, tell-it-like-is British judge?)

For the record, Jay-Z's people say he isn't involved. Rapper WIZ KHALIFA is interested though. (Of course he is. At 23, he's still a relative newcomer. The difference between Wiz and Jay-Z is over 50 MILLION in album sales.)

That's comparable to wanting MADONNA, but getting interest from KESHA.

I realize the rap competition angle hasn't really been done on its own...at least not as a large-scale production. And it's a little fresher than just another show with young wannabes murdering MARIAH CAREY songs.

But at some point, these talent competitions need to be consolidated...or America's tolerance for these shows is going to reach a level somewhere in the neighborhood of car alarms and nails on a chalkboard. I'm already there.

GAGA GOES DEAF...
Here's a deep question for you: Is it MORE or LESS understandable to be a fan of LADY GAGA if you can't hear her music?

Apparently, Lady Gaga also has a rabid following of deaf "little monsters"...and she's currently learning SIGN LANGUAGE so she can communicate with them.

A "source" tells Britain's "Sun" tabloid, "Lady Gaga has already campaigned for gay rights...and has spoken out about political issues like immigration. Now she wants to make sure her deaf fans feel included too.

"Once she's mastered sign language she'll be able to respond to the videos [from deaf fans] that are online, and include signing in future live tours."

...AND GAGA GETS BANNED...
The British press says government officials in Lebanon have banned LADY GAGA'S "Born This Way" album because they feel its religious undertones are in "bad taste."

The country previously blocked her "Judas" single from playing on local radio. Malaysia previously banned the single "Born This Way" from radio. Reasons why AMERICA is better. #1...

Still, rebellious "little monsters" in Lebanon are able to download "Born This Way" digitally on Amazon.com, through its new "cloud" service.

FINANCES? WE'RE LOSING SLEEP OVER IT...
I can see people occasionally losing sleep over their financial situation. That's always going to happen. But when people start losing their desire to GET-IT-ON because they're so worried about money, then things have gone too far.

According to a new poll by "Newsweek", Americans are angry about EVERYTHING. Especially money. And we're losing sleep AND our sex drives over it.

56% of Americans say they've lost sleep over their personal finance situation.

13% say that their finances have affected their sex lives. About two-thirds of those say they're having a LOWER SEX DRIVE at least some of the time.

Overall, 52% are nervous about their personal finances...48% are anxious...44% are upset...and 30% are legitimately ANGRY.

70% of Americans think the government is not solving our economic problems, versus 18% who think they are.

81% think the economy is not delivering the jobs we need.

65% are angry at large corporations that are posting record profits right now. (*COUGH* BIG OIL *COUGH*)

89% are upset about gas prices.

No one has faith in PRESIDENT OBAMA and the Democrats, OR in the Republicans. The majority say Obama has no plan to balance the budget and the Republicans are just putting blame on him rather than creating their own proposals.

:::GET THE VISUAL:::
This seems REALLY high but...I won't argue with it!

According to a new British survey...but one we hope applies over here too...about 20% of women, or one in five, will lay out in the sun TOPLESS this summer in an effort to get rid of tan lines.

The age group most likely to do it? Women 35 to 44 years old.

LONG DRIVE TO WORK? YOUR MARRIAGE IS DOOMED...
Here's another reason sitting in traffic sucks: According to a new study in Sweden, if your commute takes longer than 45 minutes, you're 40% more likely to get divorced.

Researchers looked at data from over 2 million people between 1995 and 2005. And during that time, the average trip to the office increased 17% from 23 minutes to 27 minutes.

According to the newest U.S. census, the average commute HERE is about the same: 25 minutes. Here are three more job-related factors that predict how likely you are to get divorced:

#1.) The Guy Makes Less Money Than His Wife. According to a study at Western Washington University, couples are 38% more likely to get divorced if the wife makes more than 60% of the total income.

#2.) The Woman Doesn't Work at All. Couples stay together longer if both people work, and it's because of two main reasons:

First, they have more money, which makes paying the bills less stressful. But they also tend to feel more fulfilled because they both have careers instead of just their personal lives.

#3.) You're a Bartender, a Massage Therapist, or a Choreographer. According to a study at Radford University in Virginia, those three jobs have the highest divorce rates due to long hours and erratic schedules.

Careers with the LOWEST divorce rates include optometrists, nuclear engineers, and financial planners.

ANOTHER SINGER WITH AN ALTER-EGO...OHHHH NO...
KATY PERRY has created a geeky teen alter ego named Kathy Beth Terry to promote the video for her song "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)".

She already has her own Facebook and Twitter accounts. (www.facebook.com/kathybethterry)

According to her profile, Kathy says she's, quote, "13 and in the 8th grade. I like Sudoku puzzles, the solar system, high-school science fairs, Skip-It, Weenie Babies and LOVE JTT!"

That would be of course Jonathan Taylor Thomas. He's 29 now but he used to be quite the teen heart throb with the girls when I was a kid and when he was on "Home Improvement".

The video drops Tuesday.

VH1's CELEBRITY REHAB...
VH1's "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" has always put more of an emphasis on "celebrity" than "rehab"...and that ratio should reach a new level on the fifth season, which starts June 26th.

That's because the cast was announced yesterday...and it's arguably the most famous group overall that's ever been featured on the show. The list:

Lindsay Lohan's fame-whore dad Michael Lohan.

'80s actress Sean Young...who starred in "Blade Runner" and "No Way Out".

Actress Bai Ling...who starred in "The Crow" and "Anna and the King".

Amy Fisher...the "Long Island Lolita" who shot her lover Joey Buttafuoco's wife.

Former "Baywatch" star Jeremy Jackson...he played Hobie, the son of David Hasselhoff's character.

Former Major League Baseball pitcher Dwight Gooden...he spent most of his career with the New York Mets, but was in Cleveland for a minute.

Jessica "Sugar" Kiper...she came in third place on "Survivor: Gabon", which aired three years ago. She returned for the "Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains" season, but was the first to be eliminated.

Original Guns N' Roses drummer Steven Adler. He's a returning star. Steven was on the second season of "Celebrity Rehab", and the first season of its spin-off, "Sober House".

The second season of "Celebrity Rehab" also featured the late JEFF CONAWAY, who died last month after allegedly overdosing on pain pills.

There's no word yet on what specific addictions they're struggling with...including Michael Lohan, who recently said he plans on opening his own "faith-based" rehab clinic in L.A.

He said, "After seeing what my daughter, myself and [others] have been through, it has led me to realize this is my calling and purpose in life. The basis of the rehab will be that there is a God...that good conquers evil."

JUST HIT THE PANIC BUTTON...
It must take a LOT of patience to work for AAA. Because I bet the team there gets calls for STUPID stuff like this WAY more than we realize.

According to a new survey, 56% of people say that, at some point, they've completely forgotten where they parked their car. And 3% actually called roadside assistance to come and help them search.

25% of people have locked their keys in the car, and 10% have called roadside assistance for help with that.

10% have filled their car with the wrong kind of gas, usually diesel...and 5% have called for help. (Isn't that why the nozzles are different sizes?)

3.5% have called when they got lost.

2% have called when their GPS stopped working.

9% of men and 5% of women have called when they ran out of gas.

And finally...21% of people have called roadside assistance to get help changing a tire.

PUT YOUR BLOG TITLE HERE...

2011-06-06T12:13:00.002-04:00

Hang out on the FB, hit the like button. Give me the thumb. www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage

J TIMBERLAKE AND J BIEL...
Even though JT and Mila Kunis are fondeling privates on-stage at MTV, and they're no longer together, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE still has mad love for JESSICA BIEL.

In the new issue of "Vanity Fair", he says, "She is the single-handedly most significant person in my life.

"In my 30 years, she is the most special person, okay?...I don't want to say much more, because I have to protect things that are dear to me...for instance, her."

Justin doesn't say why he and Jessica broke up, but maybe this is a hint... "I think the mistake is that people commit to who that person is right then and not the person they are going to become.

"That's the art of staying together, is changing together. When you say it like that, it seems damn near impossible, right?"

Justin also talks about BRITNEY SPEARS... "I wish her the best...that goes without saying. We haven't spoken in 9 or 10 years.

"We were two birds of the same feather, small-town kids, doing the same thing. But then you become adults, and the way you were as kids doesn't make any sense...We spent way too much time being the biggest thing for teenyboppers."

It sounds like those were pretty AWESOME years, though. Justin says, "It was exciting that we were having so much success and we could do whatever we wanted.

"And I mean that about everybody: Backstreet Boys, 'N Sync, Britney, Christina.

"At that time, we could literally go, 'Oh, man, let's go to Bali,' and we'd be on a plane to Bali. We were little kids with big toys. You do the math...that's not going to last."

Justin also discussed getting NAKED with MILA KUNIS for their upcoming movie, "Friends with Benefits". He said, "It was fun, but I can't say I'm going to be butt-naked in a movie again.

"I only did it because I'm young now, and everything's where it's supposed to be. I figured this is the time, before gravity gets the best of me."

IS JT TAPPIN' THAT...
When it comes to the ladies, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE has perhaps a bit wider selection than the rest of us. Which is why it's kind of surprising that he might be fornicating (I love that word) with ASHLEY OLSEN.

A so-called "source" tells "Us Weekly", "They are hooking up. They're really trying to keep it on the down-low."

Of course Justin's rep is denying it..."They are friends. They are not romantically involved."

MOST-INFLUENTIAL ROCK BANDS OF THE LAST 30 YEARS...
In honor of their 30th anniversary, the British music magazine "Kerrang!" has conducted a poll to find The Most Influential Rock Bands of the Last 30 Years...so that's dating back to 1981. Here's the Top 10, as voted by "Kerrang's" readers.

1.) Metallica
2.) Green Day
3.) Iron Maiden
4.) Slipknot
5.) My Chemical Romance
6.) Linkin Park
7.) Bullet for My Valentine
8.) Blink-182
9.) Ozzy Osbourne
10.) Foo Fighters

Uh...where is NIRVANA? Or PEARL JAM? Or think about all the 80's rock bands not on this list...

IF YOU BOUGHT IT...
If you bought LADY GAGA'S new album, here's her quality control guarantee:

Gaga personally handcrafted...and MOLESTED...every detail of "Born This Way". She says that she, "licked and touched and kissed and made love to every single note and melody and lyric on that album."

OK then.

DITCH THE PEN AND PAD...
A friend of mine is a server at a restaurant. She and I were out over the weekend, and when she ordered her drink, the girl who took the order (just for a drink at a bar, not for food) pulled out a pen and jotted it down. My friend was kind of making fun of that after the girl walked away. I didn't really understand, wouldn't you rather have your order RIGHT then have her forget and it be screwed up?

Anyway, we all may have to get used to this. Apparently, more and more restaurants are encouraging their servers to get rid of the pen and paper and take orders by memory. Why?

#1.) It helps the server keep eye contact, which creates a better bond and leads to a better tip.

#2.) It makes the servers concentrate harder, which leads to better service.

#3.) And, most important to the restaurant, it makes the server look like more of a pro...which makes people more receptive to 'upselling.' You know...when the waiter suggests appetizers, drinks, or desserts that you and your chubbiness probably don't really need or want.

All that being said...people really don't like it. The "New York Post" mentioned the trend, with a poll asking people if they trust servers who don't write down their orders. 81% say no.

BURNING SUMMER CALORIES...
The unofficial start of summer was last week. And summer OFFICIALLY starts June 21st. So here's some advice on how to slim down while you enjoy the warmer weather.

DietsInReview.com posted a list of popular summer activities, and how many calories they burn. Here are the top four.

#1.) Water Skiing. In 30 minutes, a 150-pound person burns around 200 calories. And it works your upper and lower body.

#2.) Swimming. Depending on your body weight, just swimming around casually burns between 250 and 400 calories an hour. And if you swim laps, you can burn a lot more.

#3.) Hiking. If you're 150 pounds, you'll burn about 400 calories on a one-hour hike, depending on how steep it is. If you weigh MORE than that, obviously you'll burn more calories, because each step requires more energy.

#4.) Playing Nine Holes of Golf. If you walk AND carry your clubs, you'll burn around 700 calories, or 1,400 if you do 18 holes. Just be careful about how many calories you CONSUME on the golf course.

If you golf 18 holes, but have four or five beers on the course and a cheeseburger for lunch, they cancel each other out.

GOOD LIFE ADVICE...
There's a nurse named Bronnie Ware who worked for years with people who'd left the hospital and gone home to die. And in those last few weeks of their life, she found people drop all the pretense and start being totally honest.

She's heard tons of people on their deathbeds share their biggest regrets. Here are the five she heard most often. It's a really interesting list...and a lot to think about for those of us NOT on our deathbeds.

#1.) I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life that others expected of me. This is the most common regret, and generally comes from people whose dreams went unfulfilled.

#2.) I wish I didn't work so hard. This was the most common regret from male patients.

#3.) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. Bronnie found people would suppress their feelings to try to keep peace...but ultimately, it would make them miserable.

#4.) I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends. As people got older, they let more and more friendships slip away. In their last few weeks, many people would try frantically to track down their long lost friends.

#5.) I wish I'd let myself be happier. It takes a lot of people almost their whole lives to realize that they can break their old patterns and habits and CHOOSE to be happy.

4 THINGS MEN DO THAT ANNOY WOMEN...
This comes from Match.com

#1.) Trying To "Fix" Things Instead of Listening. It's one of the classic gender differences...women want to vent, men want to fix. But when you don't let a woman vent and you go right into "fixing" mode, she's going to think you don't care.

(I almost wanna yell WHAT? That doesn't make any SENSE that she would think we don't care! But...I'm a guy...)

So, there's no easy way around this one. You're just going to have to suck it up and LISTEN to her when she needs to vent about her horrific day at work, or how she's jealous her friend bought the same shoes SHE wanted first.

#2.) Being Lazy or Forgetful. Women HATE it when men are lazy, don't maintain their appearance, or are forgetful about plans. If you can't handle this basic stuff, you probably can't handle having a girlfriend anyway.

#3.) Paying Too Much Attention to Gadgets. I know...you love your iPad, your Xbox, and your smartphone. But if you're spending more time looking at a screen than the person you're with...that's a problem.

#4.) Taking Her For Granted. Everyone needs time to socialize outside their relationship. But if you spend most of your free time with your buddies at the bar, playing video games, or watching sports, your girl is going to feel neglected. Besides, if that's how you want to spend all your time, why even bother having a girlfriend?

BYE BYE, CEREAL...
Remember a decade ago when every single person in the country ate cereal for breakfast? Or dinner. Yeah, that's a distant memory now.

Americans just aren't that into cereal anymore. And it's not a low-carb thing...come on. We love carbs more than ever. It's just that for breakfast, we now prefer things like bagels, Egg McMuffins, pastries...stuff we can grab and eat on the run.

Cereal sales keep dropping like crazy...even in just the past 12 months cereal sales are down 2.55%. Here are the six brands that have taken it the hardest.

#6.) Corn Flakes. Sales are down 3.8% since 2007.
#5.) Cheerios. Sales are down 6.9% since 2007.
#4.) Raisin Bran. Sales are down 7.9% since 2007.
#3.) Rice Krispies. Sales are down 10.3% since 2007.
#2.) Corn Pops. Sales are down 12.8% since 2007.
#1.) Special K. Sales are down 15.9% since 2007.

THE SHOW GOES ON...

2011-06-04T11:10:00.002-04:00

...I-I-I WANNA GET BESIDE YA...
Ever sit at a red light and watch the couple in the car in front of you bicker? Then this...is not a surprise.

According to a new survey, women are more than TWICE as likely to argue with a man in a car than have relations with him in that car.

The survey found that 30% of women say they've had sex with their current boyfriend or husband in the car...versus 63% who have argued and fought with him in the car.

The numbers for men are much closer. 47.5% of men surveyed say they've had sex in the car, and 60% have argued in the car.

The survey also found that...
10% of men and 8% of women have DUMPED someone in a car.m (Guilty)
24% of men and 18% of women have FLIRTED with another driver while in the car. (Probably guilty)
73% of men and 76% of women regularly EAT in their cars. (guilty)
And 42% of men and 29% of women have napped in their cars. (guilty again)

CASH MONEY, TAKIN' OVER...
Here's an argument for jumping RIGHT into marriage. It could save you a FORTUNE. According to a new study out of England, a man spends an average of over $40,000 on a woman from the time he meets her until they get married.

The study found that it takes about three years and 10 months from a first meeting until a wedding. And during that time, the guy is just spending and spending and spending.

Every month, the average man in a relationship spends $338 on dinners and nights out, and $155 on other meals. Every year, he also spends $861 on flowers, chocolates, and other gifts, and $1,250 on vacations.

The study also found that more than 50% of married men say they spend less on their women now that they're married. And 18% wish they'd proposed earlier to start saving money.

PANTIES!!
It's not exactly groundbreaking to say that women over-pack for vacations and men under-pack. But at least there are a few statistics to back it up.

According to a new survey by the British travel agency Sunshine, the average man packs three pairs of underwear for a seven-day trip. The average woman packs TEN pairs.

The survey also found that the average man says he wears 98% of the stuff he packs...and based on some simple math with his underwear supply, he must re-wear a few things too. The average woman wears 61% of what she packs.

And 7% of men say they usually buy clothes on vacation, versus 47% of women.

HAYDEN PANETTIERE...
HAYDEN PANETTIERE recently broke up with her boxer-boyfriend WLADIMIR KLITSCHKO...but there might be a new athlete giving her the business.

Hayden was seen getting flirty with New York Jets quarterback MARK SANCHEZ at In-N-Out Burger in Laguna Hills, California on Monday. Although a source says they're, quote, "just friends."

SHE EATS WHAT?
Does LADY GAGA survive on a diet of BABY FOOD?

A so-called "source" tells "Heat" magazine, "She's not eating healthily at all. She's substituting meals for jars of baby food."

Apparently, this is called the, "goo diet."

PBS IS NO LONGER COMMERCIAL-FREE...
PBS will no longer be free of commercial breaks. Yesterday, network executives announced that they're going to start running ads during at least some of their shows beginning this fall.

The ads will be the usual corporate and foundation sponsor ads that currently air in between shows. Except now, they'll air every 15 minutes...so they'll actually interrupt the shows, just like on regular TV.

They're doing it because, A.) Everybody needs money these days...and, B.) There's a HUGE viewer drop-off when the promotional spots come on after shows.

TAKE A DAY...
The stereotypes say we're lazy, but Americans are NOT good at taking vacation days. But according to a new study, even if you don't take a lot of actual vacations...you really do need to take a day off every few months.

The study found that it's actually bad to go more than 62 days without a vacation day. That's the average tipping point when people go from being, "fresh and focused [to] anxious, aggressive, and ill."

DAILY DUMBASS...IS FROM AKRON!
There was absolutely no reason for 27-year-old Jesse Allen Hottinger of Akron to be forever branded as a stupid criminal. He just made one completely ILLOGICAL, unnecessary decision.

Over the weekend, Jesse locked himself out of his apartment and decided to break in. It happens, right? You accidentally lock your keys inside. I can remember an instance when I was a kid of crawling in the bathroom window!

But for some reason, he was afraid of being caught on the building security camera breaking into his own apartment. Even though, ya know, that's legal.

So Jesse did the most-rational thing he could have done. He DESTROYED the camera before he broke in. Unfortunately for him, the camera DID catch footage of him destroying it...so he's been charged with vandalism.

GETTIN' READY FOR...

2011-05-26T12:09:00.002-04:00

...the big weekend! But first, we'll hang from 3-7pm on Q92 today. Oh, btw, thanks to everyone who commented, both on here (FB) and in person to me on Monday. Had a blast filling in on The DeLuca Show, hope they have me back!

You have big plans this weekend? I'm going to check out SEETHER tomorrow night, stoked for that! I'll be here Saturday and Sunday and then off on Monday, all day! Anyone having a BBQ? You could invite me over if you wanted :)

Here's some shtuff...

RUSSELL BRAND: ACCESS DENIED!!!
KATY PERRY tried to bring husband RUSSELL BRAND with her when her tour hit Japan the other day...but they wouldn't let him into the country because he has a CRIMINAL RECORD.

She Tweeted, "My husband just got deported from Japan. I am so. sad. I brought him all this way to show him my favorite place. #tokyodreamcrushed."

Then she added, "It was for priors from over 10 years ago!"

Russell was arrested numerous times back in the day...for such offenses as drug possession and public indecency. He's sober now. You'd never know it.

Russell actually took a photo of himself while in custody, before they sent him home...and he posted it on Twitter along with the caption, "Planning escape from Japanese custody. It's bloody hard to dig a tunnel with a chopstick."

P!NK IS PISSED AT SELENA GOMEZ!
She used to pick fights with Britney and Christina...now PINK has beef with SELENA GOMEZ for painting horses pink for her "I Love You Like a Love Song" music video.

Pink initially noticed the painted horses without knowing whose video it was. She Tweeted, "If there are any animal activists around Malibu...there are horses being painted for a stupid music video. Shame."

"Artists should be more aware and responsible for their actions."

And when Pink found out that it was Selena that she'd picked a bone with, she did NOT back down...even though she expected some backlash.

She Tweeted, "Oh lord, THAT'S whose video it was? Disney fans unite...here we go. Whether u r a fan of mine or whomEVER'S, I won't stop speaking out about animal cruelty. I've taken responsibility in the past, so should she."

Selena hasn't commented, but her rep says the horses were painted humanely...quote, "No animals were harmed and all proper precautions were taken. A non-toxic, vegetable based powder paint was applied via an airbrush and removed with water.

"An official from the Humane Society was on set supervising."

IMPULSIVE...
Here's one of those studies that seems to defy gender stereotypes...

According to a British company called Npower, MEN spend more money on impulse buys than women: Men spend approximately $41 on impulse buys versus $31 for women.

The main reason is that women spend more time bargain hunting, going to sales, and researching before they buy something. Men are more likely to grab something off the shelf or buy something online.

Men are also more likely to go out impulsively to eat or drink...women plan their meals and nights out more carefully.

The study found that the average person spends $114,293 in their lifetime on impulse buys. They didn't break the number down by gender.

The top 10 most common impulse buys are: Food, clothing, magazines, wine, books, DVDs, shoes, trips, beer, and toiletries.

The next 10 most common are: Home furnishings, music, clothes for the kids, jewelry, accessories, gadgets, garden accessories, flowers, toys, and day trips.

REMEMBER YOUR FIRST CD/CASSETTE PURCHASE?
LADY GAGA was asked about this...the first album she bought was GREEN DAY'S "Dookie", which came out in 1994.

"[I bought it] with my own money. But my parents got me Stevie Wonder, 'Signed, Sealed [and] Delivered', and the Beatles when I was younger...'A Hard Day's Night'.

"Yeah, they were two CDs and they were given to me with [a] little boom box for Christmas when I was young."

Lady Gaga says it was those selections that made her turn out the way she did.

She says, "Just good choices, Mom and Dad. They could have chose anything, but Stevie Wonder and the Beatles? I mean, it's totally their fault.

I thought she was BORN This Way though, right? Anyway...

"Don't spoon feed me the Beatles and Stevie Wonder and Bruce Springsteen and Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin and Elton John and expect for me not to turn out this way. Nobody made you do that."

TIMES ARE A CHANGIN'...
Things have changed a lot since you were in high school, man. According to a new survey, 57% of Americans...almost three out of five...say that being called a "geek" isn't an insult any more: It's a COMPLIMENT.

What about dork? I get dork A LOT, but usually accompanied by laughter and sometimes told its a good thing. Hmmm.

And for adults, 41% would rather be called a geek than a jock. 22% would rather be called a jock than a geek. But only 17% of Americans actually identify THEMSELVES as a geek.

Young people are the most likely to have a positive view of the word geek. 66% of people 18-to-34 say that geek is a compliment...while only 39% of people over 65 agree.

AHH, YOUNG LOVE...
The Bieb and Selena Gomez. She's totally checking out his ass.

SHOCKER!! NOT QUITE...
This is less a survey about safe driving and more an insight into the IDIOTS we see on the road each day.

Harris just finished a survey of more than 1,500 Americans. They asked "Are you an unsafe driver?" And the number of people who said yes is...ZERO.

In other words: Not a single person out there believes they're the problem.

83% of the people surveyed claimed to drive safely. The average person said 90% of OTHER drivers are unsafe. Amazing.

And the egotistical sense of entitlement doesn't stop there. 20% of drivers said that they can eat, drink, talk, reach into the backseat, whatever...because they're good enough drivers to do that without compromising safety.

Awesome.

AND I CAN'T SAY THIS SURPRISES ME...
According to a new study by TomTom GPS, traffic jams stress out men up to SEVEN TIMES more than they stress out women. I mean...it's so bad, traffic jams might actually stress out men more than women do.

In the study, women's stress levels jumped up to 8.7% in heavy traffic. Men's stress levels jumped up to 60% in the exact same traffic. 67% of women felt no stress, versus 50% of men.

A psychologist who ran the study says it makes biological sense. Men have an instinct to either confront a problem or walk away...women have an instinct to find a way to relax while they cope with the problem.

GUYS, DON'T BE HAPPY IF YOU WANT TO SCORE A GIRL...
This might also be proof that women like a guy who has something that needs 'fixed' or at least, that they can appear to fix.According to a study out of the University of British Columbia in Canada, women are significantly more sexually attracted to a man who is MOODY, MISERABLE, or BROODING than a man who's smiling and happy.

The study also found women are significantly more sexually attracted to a man who looks cocky, proud, or powerful than a man who's smiling and happy.

The study only tested initial gut reactions and sexual attraction...not whether a woman thought the man would be a good boyfriend or husband.

The study found that men are completely the opposite of women. Men found themselves MOST attracted to smiling, happy women and least attracted to ones who looked cocky or miserable.

Men were also more generous with their rankings...they ranked women attractive more often than women ranked men attractive.

NOW, ON THE FLIPSIDE...
Supposedly the first thing single people look for in another person is a sense of humor. So apparently hot girls and rich guys are much funnier than the rest of us.

Anyway, eHarmony ran a major survey to figure out what styles of humor are most attractive to the opposite sex. And it's pretty simple: Men are better off with dry, sarcastic senses of humor...and women are better off making fart jokes.

The study found that men are 7% more attractive when they're sarcastic...16% more attractive when they're dry...and 6% more attractive when they're ironic.

For women, JUVENILE humor added 7% attractiveness...sarcasm added 14%...geekiness added 5%...and being dirty and raw added 4%.

Now, as for what kinds of jokes make people UNATTRACTIVE...

For men, dark humor makes you 14% less attractive...being dirty and raw knocks you down 9%...and practical jokes also knock you down 9%.

For women, POLITICAL humor makes you 12% less attractive...practical jokes make you 9% less...and being ironic knocks you down 4%.

SOMETIMES...
USHER forgets to zip fly before going on stage. He's only human. But this is what happens when he does.

Will.i.am HAS ANOTHER SOLO ALBUM ON THE WAY...
If there's anyone who just CAN'T GET ENOUGH of WILL.I.AM...anyone at all...this should be very exciting news: Will.I.Am has another solo album in the works.

That's according to FERGIE...she says, "I believe Will is coming out with a solo album. I've heard it. It's called 'Black Einstein' and it's amazing. I've been waiting for him to come out with this for so long because I want it. He won't give it to me. I want it for the gym.

"He's so amazing...just such a genius lyricist...and I’m really excited for his project."

POP-UP VIDEO!!!
Remember VH1's '90s sensation "Pop-Up Video"?
Of course you do. It was the music video show where bubbles would pop up with various trivia "nuggets" and sarcastic remarks. It was all over VH1 from 1996 through 2002.

Well, it's coming back!!!

The show's co-creator...who seems unnecessarily bitter...explains, "I have sat on the sidelines for the last decade and watched as everyone and their brother has ripped off 'Pop Up' in some way or another...

"With the internet coming out of nowhere and Twitter being hauntingly familiar and all of these devices that are using snarky, pithy text...they're [using social networking] to create their own pop-ups in a way."

VH1 has ordered 60 new episodes, which will start airing sometime this fall.

Only a few differences from the original show have been revealed: This time, they're taking on hip-hop videos, too. (Those videos were "off limits" during the original run, because hip-hop was considered the "domain" of VH1's sister network, MTV.)

And they're planning to include some "user-generated content"...although it's unclear how that's going to work.

WYL WYL WEDNESDAY

2011-05-18T09:59:00.002-04:00

Happy hump day...hope it includes humping!

SO ASHTON REPLACE SHEEN...
And not surprisingly, Charlie's first reaction wasn't entirely positive.

On Friday, he said, "Ashton Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer. Oh wait, so am I!! Enjoy the show America, Enjoy seeing 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB.

"Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton. There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there."

That crack about a "2.0 in the demo" is Charlie's way of saying the show is going to get crappy ratings. "Planet Chuck" is a reference to Charlie's sworn enemy, "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre.

But later in the day, Charlie Tweeted, "#Winning Congrats to the cast and crew...CBS & WB..! My best to @aplusk !! The show must go on... You got the right guy! c."

And Ashton replied, "#2.5 @charliesheen Thanks man. Always been a fan, always will be! BTW you were 'born big.'"

Awwww!!! Feel the love!

RIHANNA IS FOLLOWING CHRIS BROWN ON TWITTER...OH NO!
A little over two years after she got smacked around by him, RIHANNA is now following CHRIS BROWN on Twitter.

On Saturday, a 14-year-old girl who follows Rihanna on Twitter noticed this, and asked Rihanna if she was getting back together with him.

She said, "I never thought you would go back to him! You better not, it's your life but you do have (people) that look up to you. e.g. young girls."

But look what Rihanna tweeted back! Crazy!

Rihanna replied, "Its [effin] twitter, not the alter! Calm down." (Yes, she spelled "alter" wrong. The correct spelling for the thing you stand in front of in church to get married is a-l-t-A-r.)

The fan then apologized...which prompted Rihanna to apologize to HER. She said, "Babygirl I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt or offend u! Just needed to make it clear to the Navy...xoxo."

"The Navy" is what Rihanna calls her fans, FYI.

Rihanna then began following the girl on Twitter.

There's no word from Chris Brown on any of this...although it should be noted that he's following Rihanna, too.

OH...MY...GOD...
MARIAH CAREY'S twins were born listening to...Mariah Carey's music. And not just any music. She made sure they heard something very specific.

NICK CANNON says, "My wife wanted to make sure that when the babies came out, that they came out not only to a Mariah Carey song, but a live performance from Mariah Carey: her Madison Square Garden performance of 'Fantasy'.

"So they came out to a round of applause."

Wow. My kids will come out listening to airchecks of me on the radio.
Kidding.

LADIES, ARE YOU TOO OLD?
A British company called Diet Chef asked women when they felt they were too old to wear things like bikinis, miniskirts, tube tops, and knee-high boots. Then averaged the responses to create this guide to when you're too old for different fashions...

Bikini. You're too old at age 47.

Miniskirt. 35.

Tube top. 33.

Stilettos. 51.

Belly button ring. 35.

Knee-high boots. 47.

Leather pants. 34.

Leggings. 45.

UGG boots. 45.

See-through blouse. 40.

One-piece bathing suit. 61.

Long hair. 53.

Ponytail. 51.

5% of women have been told at a store that they were trying on something that wasn't right for their age. And 20% said that regardless of when you think you're too old to wear something...wear it anyway if you know you can pull it off.

WHAT MAKES YOU FAT AT WORK?
Radio, as a profession, makes you fat. For sure. Look at our staff!
It's a scientific fact that American office workers are also getting chubbier.

So we need to place the blame SOMEWHERE, right?

CareerBuilder just ran a survey asking workers what they feel is the biggest reason that they're gaining weight at the office. And here are the results...

36% say it's because they're sitting all day.

24% think it's the stress.

16% believe it's because they're always going out for lunch.

13% say it's because they skip meals with their time constraints.

And 12% say it's all the birthday cake, potlucks, celebrations, and free candy around the office. (It's donuts at Q92)

Overall, 43% of the people surveyed say they've gained weight at their current job...only 18% say they're lighter now than when they started.

GWEN STEFANI...
Keep in mind, Gweny Gwen has had a few kids. She looks GOOD!!

GET IT ON, BANG A GONG...
There's a new sex survey out that proves one thing: About one out of 25 people in the U.S. needs a nap.

In the survey, 3% of people say they have sex literally every single day of the year...and another 1% say they do it multiple times a day, every single day of the year. Overall, that's one-25th of the country getting-it-on at least once a day.

On the other end of things...18% of the people surveyed say they're not currently sexually active, 7% said they have sex once every few months, 3% said they only have sex once or twice a year, and 5% are virgins.

More than 1,000 Americans over 18 participated in the survey.

The most common sexual frequency is once or twice a week...26% of American adults gave that answer.

Second-most common was three to four times a week, at 16%. And once or twice a month came in third place, with 15% of the vote. (It wasn't reported how often the remaining 6% have sex, but it was probably more than four times a week but less than every day.)

MORE SEX STUFF, THANKS TO PLAYBOY...
According to a new survey by "Playboy", men are more likely than women to take nude pictures and videos. And I'm guessing that means men are more likely to ADMIT they've taken nude pictures and videos than women.

The survey found that 27% of men and 23% of women say they've been photographed or filmed nude. 15% of men and 9% of women admit they've filmed themselves having relations.

16% of both genders admit they've sexted someone nude photos.

Here are some more findings from the survey...

41% of men and 47% of women have suspected the person they're with of cheating.

33% of men and 23% of women say they've messed around on a dating site while they were already in a relationship.

31% of men and 26% of women have reached out to an ex online.

44% of men and 36% of women say they've incorporated watching porno into their relations with their partner.

And 73% of women know the first and last name of everyone they've had sex with...versus 43% of men.

GAGA DIDN'T LIKE SEX...UNTIL RECENTLY...
LADY GAGA, who's 25, claims she was never able to enjoy sex...until recently.

She explains, "I was very insecure for a very long time. I didn't know that I would be very comfortable with it and it wasn't until very recently that I actually enjoyed sex.

"I was talking with my sister about how it's not until you really love yourself that you can give love to others."

Of course, there may have been other factors. Last fall, Lady Gaga told "Vanity Fair", "I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they're going to take my creativity from me through my vagina. I'm quite celibate now.

She added, "I do [eff], but I'm certainly not promiscuous. I'm perpetually lonely. I'm lonely when I'm in relationships. It's my condition as an artist."

Lady Gaga also recently announced that she was newly SINGLE. So, ya know...in case you're interested.

J.LO - KHLOE WANTS TO TAP THAT!
If you're KHLOE KARDASHIAN and you're trying to get people to stop calling you a man, you probably shouldn't say stuff like this...

In an interview with "Us Weekly", Khloe said, "I'm obsessed with J-LO and everything about her. She looks so freakin' good and I totally would bone her."

T SWIZZLE EXPLAINS...THE RULES OF LOVE
TAYLOR SWIFT is the cover story in the June issue of "InStyle" magazine. They leaked a little of the riveting interview where she talks about, what else, love.

Taylor said, "There are no rules when it comes to love. I just try to let love surprise me because you never know who you're going to fall in love with.

"You never know who's going to come into your life...and for me, when I picture the person I want to end up with, I don't think about what their career is, or what they look like. I picture the feeling I get when I'm with them." The issue is out Friday.

WHICH OF COURSE LEADS US TO...

Why not, a double dose!

ARE YOU ANNOYING? THERE'S A QUIZ TO TELL YOU!
Believe it or not, some people might find you annoying. I know. They're idiots. But still.

A personality psychologist named Robert Hogan put together a 20-question quiz to figure out just how annoying you actually are. It gauges you on the three big areas of annoyingness: Whether you're picky, arrogant, or irritating.

Overall, you get a score between one and five. The quiz only takes about two minutes and it's definitely worth your time. Just Google "You Bug Me. Now Science Explains Why." Check it out on the left side of the page.

I just took mine. It averages a 3.59 on a 1-5 scale for me. My pickiness is a little higher than my irritating factor, and arrogance is at the lower end. In a preliminary study of 72 people, 2.89 was the average. So hey!! I'm an over-achiever in the annoyance department! I'm gonna embrace it. You'll probably find that annoying...and I won't care. Which will annoy you more. See look, I'm winning here, not you :)

:::SHAKES OFF SLEEP::: OH, HI THERE...

2011-05-14T10:28:00.003-04:00

I'm half awake. Half might be a stretch. At least 1/3 awake.

X-FACTOR...
Last summer, the biggest question in the world of televised singing competitions was: Can "American Idol" succeed without both SIMON COWELL and PAULA ABDUL?

This summer, the big question will be: Will a Simon / Paula reunion on "X Factor" take down "Idol"?

Earlier this week...after months of rumors...Fox finally made it official: Paula will re-team with Simon on "X Factor". As previously announced, the other two judges' seats will go to L.A. REID and CHERYL COLE.

Simon and Paula both released statements. Simon said, "This show would never have been the same without Paula, and I can't believe I am saying this...I have missed her a lot, and I am thrilled she's on the show."

Paula said, "I am excited beyond words to be a part of 'X Factor'. I'm also delighted and grateful to be sitting next to Simon again...but you might want to check back with me in a week or two!"

Somewhere RANDY JACKSON is very unamused.

The co-hosts of "X Factor" have been locked in: It's going to be former PUSSYCAT DOLLS singer NICOLE SCHERZINGER, as expected...and some Welsh guy named STEVE JONES, as UN-expected.

OOPS...
A few years back, 34-year-old Adam Lynch of Denver, Colorado was dumped by his girlfriend, a woman named Julia Lundstrom. Part of their fight centered around money...he owed her about $11,000.

And he came up with a strategy to win her back. He went on a two-year run of BANK ROBBERIES...where he successfully robbed 24 banks in Colorado, California, Wyoming, and Washington...to pay her back.

He finally got her to meet with him and paid her the money. He said he got it from some stock dividends, but that didn't ring true with her. She started checking up on him and finally got him to admit he'd gotten the money from bank robberies.

Instead of winning her back with the money and the honesty...she called the cops. He's facing up to 20 years in prison

AHHH, GRADUATION...
I think it's now OFFICIALLY a MYTH to say that you should go to college so you can get a good job. Yeah, college might lead to a job down the road...but right now, college seems like just a direct path back to your childhood bedroom.

A consulting firm called Twentysomething Inc. just finished a poll that found that 85% of recent college graduates...or 17 out of 20...move back in with their parents after school, at least for a little while.

In today's job climate...where people with years and even decades of experience are desperate for any jobs, even entry-level ones...less than half of college graduates have a job when they finish school.

WATCH THAT FRIEND REQUEST!
According to Facebook's policies, no one under age 13 is allowed on the site. But...um...EVERYONE under age 13 seems to be on the site.

A study by "Consumer Reports" has found that there are more than FIVE MILLION kids under age 10 who have Facebook pages. They've all just signed up with fake birthdays...which is Facebook's only method of verifying your age.

As for whether their parents know they're on the site and are actively monitoring them...it doesn't look like it. Only 18% of the kids under 10 on Facebook are friends with their parents.

THANK YOU, TAYLOR!!
TAYLOR SWIFT totally gets that you give up your private life when you become a celebrity. She drove that point home yesterday during her appearance on "Ellen".

She said, "I think it's just obnoxious if I complain about anything. I hear other people talk about, 'Oh, the intrusions on my privacy.' It's like there are a million other jobs you could have had.

"For me, I've just come to the acceptance of the fact that this is my life. For me it's just, live your life and if people take pictures...you laugh about it in the car afterwards."

NICKI - NOT CHANGING...
NICKI MINAJ just toured with LIL WAYNE, and she's about to hit the road with BRITNEY SPEARS, who's obviously a completely different artist. But while Nicki does plan on "expanding" her show a little, she isn't changing her approach.

She says, "People think Nicki's going to completely change...I think that's the biggest misconception. I think people don't understand that I remain myself, whether I'm on a hip-hop tour or a pop tour.

"The Wayne tour to me was a pop tour. Most people probably think that they're only gonna see black faces in the audience for him, but we see everyone in that audience. 80% of the crowd is everything but black. To me, hip-hop is pop. They've merged. Everyone listens to rap. I think it's all the same thing."

END OF THE HS YEAR...ALMOST YEARBOOK TIME!
We just LOVE coddling our kids today. God forbid we actually tell them we expect them to make something of themselves.

According to a recent study, only about one out of four high school yearbooks still features the classic "Most Likely To Succeed".

Twenty years ago, more than three in four yearbooks featured it.

And apparently the reason is that we're afraid to give a kid a label that will HAUNT them for the rest of their life: Always pushing them to be a success and making them feel like a failure if they're not an NFL star-turned-doctor-turned-senator.

A survey by the website MemoryLane.com also found that about one out of three people who were named "Most Likely To Succeed" back in high school say it was a, quote, "curse." Two in five say it was a, quote, "inspiration."

I'll sum up my thoughts: pfffffffft.

30-year-old Blake Atwood of Irving, Texas, is one of the people who said it was a curse. He was voted "Most Likely To Succeed" by his classmates back in 1998, and he works as a copywriter for a law firm now.

"Being noosed with 'most likely to succeed' is like lugging an albatross to every job interview, new relationship, or endeavor."

...IT IS!? Well you don't HAVE to put it on your resume if you don't want to, or tell a girlfriend that if you don't want to...quit being a whiney little bitch!!!

UM...I HAVE NO HEADLINE...JUST READ IT...
Some people are just way cooler than you and me.

Although I was telling someone the other night that I'm gonna rock some Batman sheets on my bed. Perhaps that would make me cooler?

Thursday, just before 1:00 A.M., the police in Petoskey, Michigan (hey, I've been there! Northern part of the state) got a call that Batman was on the roof of a building. And he was. Sort of.

They spotted a man in a full Batman costume hanging off the ledge of a building. Considering how dangerous this was, it's fitting that he was hanging off Petoskey's Department of Public Safety.

The police pulled Batman back onto the roof and arrested him. Turns out his secret identity was 31-year-old Mark Williams.

And, on Mark's MySpace page, (they don't have facebook in the northwoods yet), he describes himself as a, "geek...into comics and action figures."

In addition to his Batman costume, he had a Batman baton, lead-lined gloves, and a canister of pepper spray. There's no word on what he was doing on the roof, whether it was 'fake-fighting' crime, or what.

But...HERE'S A PIC!!!!!!

PROM PIX OF THE STARS...
The website CoedMagazine.com put together a photo gallery of celebrity prom pictures...and some of them are priceless.

Take WILL FERRELL'S photo, for instance...in which he was with a pretty hot chick, but felt the need to act like a CLOWN-ASS by wearing a tiara.

Also captured on their big night are Fergie, Brad Pitt, Kellie Pickler, Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer and Kobe Bryant and Brandy...who went to her prom TOGETHER in 1996

Check it: http://coedmagazine.com/2011/05/12/will-ferrell-31-other-celebrity-prom-photos/

OH BOY...
HAYDEN PANETTIERE and her much-taller boyfriend, Ukrainian boxer WLADIMIR KLITSCHKO, announced that they've broken up. Hayden says, "Even though we've decided splitting up is best for both of us, we have an amazing amount of love and respect for each other and remain very close friends."

Klitschko adds, "We had a great time together, but it's not that easy to manage a relationship between two continents."

Hi, Hayden? Yeah, I live on this continent. Call me? :)

DO YOU FB IN BED?
When you wake up in the morning, what's the first thing you do? If you said, "Lean over, pick up my phone, and check my texts and emails"...congratulations. You officially prioritize communication over relieving yourself with a morning pee.

According to a new survey, 35% of smartphone owners say they check their phones before they get vertical in the morning. They even check their phones before they get up to go to the bathroom.

The survey also found that 20% of people say the last thing they do at night before they go to sleep is check their phone.

Only 34% of people say they use their phones while they commute...and 26% use them at dinner.

In other news, 95% of people lied.

RAIN-COOLED ENTERTAINMENT...
AWKWARD PREGGO PICS! http://pregnantchicken.squarespace.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/12/10/awkward-pregnancy-photos.html

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

SLEAZY SATURDAY

2011-05-07T06:52:00.002-04:00

Bright and early as I begin to type this. 7 AM on Saturday, rain falling down...again.
Why is it a sleazy Saturday? Well, better question. Why is NOT a sleazy Saturday? Yeah! Ask yourself THAT question! Here's some shtuff...

YOU DON'T KNOW *WHAT*?!
My friend has always told me it's weird, I don't think it is. But I tend to remember specific dates very well. So it's almost painful for me to see something that fulfills such an old, tired stereotype.

According to a new survey, just under HALF of men say they don't know their anniversary date.

And get this, married guys under 25 are the WORST about it! And they are the ones who've been married for the shortest amount of time! 62% can't remember their anniversary date. Men over 55 are the best, only 33% can't remember. Which is still one out of three.

Only 3% of women surveyed said they'd ever forgotten an anniversary, even just once.

The survey also found that about one out of four guys has forgotten to buy flowers for a special occasion, and had to grab them from a gas station.

This one has always amazed me (not in a good way)...one in five women say they've bought flowers for THEMSELVES because they knew their boyfriend or husband wasn't romantic enough to do it.

Guys? Buy your girl flowers every now and then. Plain and simple.

BIKINI SEASON IS FAST APPROACHING...
...and it seems like everyone is headed to the gym to get ready for it! If you want to lose weight, don't waste your time with self-motivation and desire and personal pep talks. That stuff never works anyway. No, a new study found that if you really want to lose weight...just find a rich guy to GAMBLE on your diet. (???)

The study is out of England and it found that THE most effective weight loss plan involved BRIBERY. Basically, if people had good enough financial incentive to lose weight, they'd take it off and keep it off.

In the study, more than HALF of the people earning money for weight loss dropped 5% of their body weight...that's eight pounds for someone who weighs 160. They got an average bribe of $360 to lose that weight.

+1 FOR GUYS IN SKINNY JEANS...
Last week, a 24-year-old man was walking home in Hoboken, New Jersey when two punks tried to rob him at gunpoint.

They were able to steal his cell phone, but couldn't get his wallet...because his pants were SO TIGHT that they couldn't get it out. The police are still looking for the robbers.

Um yeah, even if they fight crime...I'm NOT cramming myself into a pair of those anytime soon.

FIERCE NATURE
According to the National Weather Service, there were 226 tornados recorded in the U.S. from Wednesday morning to Thursday morning...which is a record for a 24-hour period. The previous record was 148 tornados in April of 1974.

TORNADO RELIEF: SHEEN STYLE
CHARLIE SHEEN toured a neighborhood in Tuscaloosa, Alabama earlier this week that had been decimated by tornadoes. And he vowed to organize a benefit for the locals.

He said, "I want to bring some money, hope, faith and healing to the area."

Charlie...who was accompanied by "goddess" Natalie Kenly and former Major League baseball player TODD ZEILE...also spent $324 on flashlights for people who are still without electricity.

Charlie posted a picture of the destruction on Twitter, along with the caption, "I'm in Tuscaloosa. It's beyond words. Info coming soon on how you can all help."

Speaking of Charlie's charitable works...his rep says he managed to raise $20,000 for Bryan Stow...the San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten into a coma at Dodger Stadium.

About $13,000 of that came from a combination of Charlie's merchandise sales and donations from the audience at his live show in San Francisco on Saturday night. Charlie kicked in the rest himself.

THE 'STACHE IS BACK!
According to a new survey, beards are back. So are handlebar mustaches, goatees, Fu Manchus, porno 'staches, mutton chops, chin straps, soul patches, Van Dykes, Zappas, and even ZZ Tops.

In the survey, 62% of American men say they've either got some serious facial hair now, or plan to wear facial hair at some point during this calendar year.

And with almost two out of three men going with facial hair, it's reached the point of being a legit trend. Facial hair may be at its most popular point since the '70s.

EMINEM'S NEXT PROJECT...
EMINEM'S next project is an EP that he's putting out with Detroit rapper ROYCE DA 5'9". Together they call themselves BAD MEETS EVIL...with Eminem as "Evil" and Royce as "Bad." The EP, called "Hell: The Sequel", will drop on June 14th.

Eminem and Royce were working together as Bad Meets Evil around the time that Eminem put out his major label debut, "The Slim Shady LP". The disc includes a track with Royce called "Bad Meets Evil".

But as their own musical entity, the only thing they put out was a single in 1999 called "Nuttin' to Do".

THE MAXIM HOT 100 LIST!
"Maxim" magazine released its annual Hot 100 list this week...and they gave the top spot to ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY...the chick who replaced MEGAN FOX in the upcoming "Transformers: Dark of the Moon".

Megan only made it to #17 this year. I'll take heat for saying this, but she's over-rated. There are hotter women for sure! Megan has never topped the Hot 100. In 2009, she made it to #2 behind OLIVIA WILDE. Last year, she dropped to #5. Here's the Top 10...

#1.) Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
#2.) Olivia Munn
#3.) Katy Perry
#4.) Cameron Diaz
#5.) Mila Kunis
#6.) Bar Refaeli
#7.) Anne Hathaway
#8.) Natalie Portman
#9.) Cobie Smulders from "How I Met Your Mother"
#10.) Jennifer Lawrence from "Winter's Bone"

Here are some other highlights from the list...

#15.) Olivia Wilde
#20.) Taylor Swift
#22.) Rihanna
#25.) Britney Spears
#26.) Kate Middleton
#35.) Kim Kardashian
#38.) Lindsay Lohan
#58.) Christina Aguilera
#64.) Miley Cyrus (West Virginia and Tennessee, REPRESENT!)
#75.) Nicki Minaj

One girl from "Jersey Shore" made the cut. It was J-Woww at #78.
Want to see them all? Of course you do!
http://www.maxim.com/amg/GIRLS/Articles/2011+Hot+100

THE BOYBAND REUNION PARTY ROLLS ON...
The '80s R&B group NEW EDITION has announced that they're reuniting to celebrate the 30th anniversary of their breakthrough single, "Candy Girl".

Everyone is coming back...Bobby Brown, Johnny Gill, Ricky Bell, Michael Bivins, Ronnie DeVoe and Ralph Tresvant.

The reunion will launch with a gig at this year's Essence Music Festival in New Orleans on July 3rd. More details on their future are forthcoming.

Ricky Bell says, "This is just the beginning. We're preparing for a world tour and many other exciting things that we'll be announcing soon.

"The next chapter of New Edition is going to be an incredible celebration to thank our fans for all of their support over the last 30 years."
And to generate some INCOME. He didn't say that, but you know that's what it's all about!

New Edition has been on-again, off-again since shutting things down in 1997 after their last radio hit, "I'm Still In Love With You". They released an album called "One Love" in 2004, but Bobby Brown wasn't a part of that.

Bobby did re-join the group in 2005...but aside from some shows, nothing long-term ever materialized. Over the past few years, members of New Edition have worked together, here and there, on various side projects.

STUPID BABY NAMES
As far as stupid baby names go, it's dangerous territory when you start raggin' on people's precious little miracles. So let's do it.

Laura Wattenberg is the author of a baby name book called "The Baby Name Wizard", and instead of running the usual studies to find out which baby names are most popular, she went the other direction and found out which names are DISLIKED.

For boys, names with an "aiden" sound dominated the list. The top four most disliked are Jayden, Brayden, Aiden, and Kaden...and Hayden came in sixth.

The rest of the top 10 are Hunter coming in fifth, then Bentley seventh, then Tristan, Michael, and Jackson.

For girls, the most disliked name was Nevaeh. That's "heaven" backwards. I've never even heard of such a ridiculous name, but OK.
The rest of the list includes Madison, Mackenzie (HEY!!!), McKenna, Addison, Gertrude, Kaitlyn, Makayla, Bertha, and Hope.

Wattenberg's study also found some trends about disliked names. Usually the names that came out of nowhere to become popular experience a backlash. So do masculine names that suddenly become feminine, and weird spellings.

Some people go the other direction and just hate traditional names, which is how a name like Michael made the top 10.

According to the most recent Social Security Administration data, in 2009, the most popular boys' baby names were Jacob, Ethan, and Michael...and for girls it was Isabella, Emma, and Olivia.

DOMESTIC TOPS IMPORTED...
America's riding a strong wave of patriotism right now, and apparently that applies to getting hammered too: When the vast majority of the country drinks beer, they drink AMERICAN.

A new national survey by Rasmussen Reports found that 69% of Americans choose a domestic beer over an import when they drink. 22% go for the import.

The rest either don't drink beer or don't have any preference.

But it's more divided when it comes to drinking a regular beer or a light one. Light actually gets more votes, 49% to 46%.

BUDWEISER was the most popular beer in the survey...25% of people said that they'd choose a Bud or Bud Light.

Miller came in second, at 19%. Sam Adams was third at 7%.

Coors, Heineken, Corona, Pabst Blue Ribbon, (WOOO!!! PBR!!! TALLBOYS!!! ahem...) and Guinness all followed, getting between 3% and 6% of the vote.

The survey also found that women are more likely to go for a Bud while men are more likely to go for Miller.

TROUBLE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? IS THIS WHY?
According to a new study, having a good, satisfying relationship is EASY. All you've got to do is pay the bills on time and pay attention to how much your partner WEIGHS. I'm calling BS right now! Ehhh, read on...

Dr. Robert Epstein is a psychologist from Harvard, and he just finished up a study that found there are really only TWO keys to a good relationship: Knowledge and life skills.

Knowledge includes things like your partner's likes and dislikes, their hopes and dreams, and yes, their weight and clothing sizes.

Life skills include things like paying the bills on time and managing stress. (And, I'm assuming, bringing the heat in the bedroom. That never hurts.)

If you both focus on knowledge and life skills, you'll be SHOCKED at how much better your relationship will get and how satisfied you'll both be.

Epstein says the one you have to stay the most updated on is your partner's hopes and dreams. Those change and shift a lot, but if you know what they are, you can be more supportive...and understand your partner's behavior better.

GUYS AND THE 'ILY' BOMB...
I've done stories before about how men say "I love you" first. But those were generally magazine surveys and this one's an actual scientific study, for whatever that's worth.

This study proves what we've always known about men. Deep down, all men have a romantic side...and the easiest way to crack through to that romantic side is to directly tie it to SEX.

In a new study in the "Journal of Personality and Social Psychology", two out of three couples reported that the man dropped the "I love you" bomb first.

When a man says "I love you" in a relationship, he does it six weeks earlier than in a relationship where the woman says it first.

BUT...his intentions might not exactly be pure.

Men were FAR more likely to say "I love you" first in relationships where there hadn't been any sex yet. In other words...yeah, he loves you, but he also subconsciously suspects that saying "I love you" will finally get him some action.

THIS IS DISGUSTING AND DISTURBING...
...and I'd usually crack a joke about the city it took place in, but I won't. The residents of that city are no doubt just as disgusted over this story.

On April 9th, a 17-year-old, whose name wasn't released, was near PNC Park in Pittsburgh after a Pittsburgh Pirates game.

He spotted a PNC Park usher having a HEART ATTACK in his car. The usher was 58-year-old Michael Schacht.

And the 17-year-old responded by...are you ready?...pulling Michael out of the car, going through his pockets, ROBBING HIM, stealing his car, and LEAVING HIM TO DIE!!!

And Michael *did die* because no one else saw him, no one else called 911, no one else tried to get him to a hospital.

The idiot, POS kid left his iPod behind when he abandoned the car the next day, and police used it to track him down.

He's been arrested with car theft and robbery as a juvenile. There are no charges for allowing another human being to die while you rob them. But there should be. Personally, I think he needs to be eletricuted and hopefully forced into a heart attack of his own.

ADELE...SAY WHAT!?!?
British pop minx ADELE has a dirty little secret. RIHANNA? Adele would TOTALLY DO HER. (!!!) She says, "If Rihanna wanted me, I'd do it with her. She's hot."

Adele is straight...but something happened when she saw Rihanna on Britain's "X Factor" last year. She explains, "She had pinstripe flares on. She whipped them off and there were her stunning thighs.

"I said to all my girlfriends: 'Are you feeling a bit gay right now?'"

Wowza!

PASS ME MY LOOFAH...
According to a new report, liquid body wash has finally passed bar soap as the most popular soap product in the country.

Body wash accounts for about 40% of the soap and shower market in the U.S.

Between 2009 and 2014, liquid body wash sales are projected to go up 35%.

GOT WATER? GOT SUN?

2011-04-30T10:46:00.002-04:00

SUNSHINE this Saturday morning. Looks like rain again tonight? One of the rainiest April's EVER...24 days had rain this month! YUCK!
Enjoy the sun while it lasts, and here's some shtuff for when it disappears again...

EATIN' LES CHIKIN...
FLAVOR FLAV is getting out of the fried chicken business in Iowa because of shady accounting practices and outdated potato salad.

I'm sure we all remember exactly where we were earlier this year when we heard of the opening of Flavor Flav's Chicken in Clinton, Iowa. Flav wasn't involved in the running of the place...they just paid him to use his name. Ya know, because Flav is a HUGE deal in the middle-of-nowhere Iowa (???)

But he pulled out last week because he felt that the business was, "not run right."

For starters, employee paychecks were bouncing. The owner chalked it up to a credit card glitch, but Flav's not buying it.

Then there's that potato salad. Flav says, "Let me be straight up with you, I went up inside there on April 2 and I found potato salad that expired on February 28.

"And it's then when I realized I can't do business with this man and I really hope no one ate those potatoes."

But Flav isn't getting out of the food business altogether. He's opening a new joint called Flavor Flav's House of Flavor in Las Vegas on May 30th.

It'll be located at the Riviera Hotel and Casino, and it'll feature a restaurant and bar, Flavor Flav memorabilia for sale...and a recording studio and stage.

PROCRASTINATION...
Don't know if you've heard, but gas costs a GOTT DAMM FORTUNE. And according to Triple-A, it's led to a HUGE number of people procrastinating on filling up their gas tank.

How do they know? Since prices started making huge jumps last month, they've seen an 18% increase in calls from drivers who've run out of gas.

READY FOR ANOTHER RECESSION?
Nobody panic...but we could be headed for a recession. And before you say, "Um, aren't we still in a recession?"...yeah, but this COULD mean things are going to get worse.

Craig Johnson is the president of Consumer Growth Partners. And he says the combination of high gas prices and high food prices could cross a, "tipping point" that would push us back into a brand new recession.

The U.S. has had six recessions since 1970, and all of them except the one after 9/11 happened because energy prices made up more than 6% of people's spending. With gas prices shooting above $4/gallon this week, we've crossed the 6% mark again.

But it's rare that gas prices AND food prices go up at the same time...and that's exactly what's happening now. Johnson says, "[that] creates a harsh double whammy for already-stressed consumers."

FORD KNOWS WHAT YOU LIKE...
Ford just finished a global survey of what car colors people prefer. Yeah, apparently they've got enough money to waste on mindless surveys again.

Anyway, here's what they found...
In New York and Los Angeles, the most popular car colors are GRAY and SILVER.

In San Francisco, WHITE is most popular.

In Boston, BLACK is most popular. (For cars. Not people. KIDDING! Boston's totally diverse and accepting. Everyone's welcome there.)

Here in the Midwest, RED is the most popular.

In Philadelphia, Washington, D.C., and Pittsburgh, GREEN is the most popular. (I have family that sells cars, "you can't GIVE green away for free! Nobody wants it!" here)

In Phoenix and Miami, ORANGE and GOLD are most popular. (Seriously? I'm not moving THERE)

Only one European country has a top color that's not white, black, or silver...the Czech Republic likes blue. Otherwise, they all go for the most basic colors.

I TURNED 25 THIS YEAR...
...and so did this product!
25 years ago, the lives of white people were irreversibly changed for the better.

No, not because I was born. Because in April of 1986, a company called Lifetime Products released the first adjustable basketball hoop. Using only a broomstick, you could instantly move the rim from 10 feet down to, like, six feet, where you and your white friends could dunk.

Since their first adjustable rim debuted in 1986, Lifetime says they've manufactured and sold more than 10 million of them.

MAN ATTACKS GIRLS GONE WILD BUS WHEN NO GIRLS ARE GOING WILD AT BAR
Ahhh, Michigan. Great Lakes and Great Times. But the times were NOT so great for this guy!
On Wednesday night, the GIRLS GONE WILD bus swung through Saginaw, Michigan, to spend the night at a local spot called the Red Horse Bar. A LOT of guys in town were excited about that.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like many GIRLS were too excited.

See, the Girls Gone Wild bus doesn't really bring wild girls along with it. You know that if you've been to any of the NE Ohio bars when they've popped into town. It brings like four cameramen and some t-shirts and trucker hats. They lean on the local girls to handle the wildness.

On Wednesday night in Saginaw, they didn't get a good female response, and the guys who showed up to the bar...and paid a $10 cover...were upset that they didn't get to see ANY casual nudity.

I ALMOST went to Saginaw for a job last year, I'm almost glad I didn't go if there are NO girls going wild!

No one was more upset than a 51-year-old man whose name wasn't released. He's a regular at the Red Horse and was looking forward to the girls going wild.

When that didn't happen, he retaliated by DESTROYING both of the rear-view mirrors on the outside of the bus. That added up to about $1,600 in damage.

There's no word on what charges he's facing.

The owner of the Red Horse Bar says the night was a gigantic disappointment, "full of headaches and a lot of false promises"...and he won't be hosting any Girls Gone Wild events again anytime soon.

I guess the city isn't nicknamed "Sagnasty" for nothing!

APPARENTLY LADIES WANT GUYS TO WEAR EYELINER...WHAT?
Even though a lot of women might never admit it, supposedly they find 'guyliner' ATTRACTIVE.

Sorry to disappoint, call me ugly if you want, you won't catch me in guyliner!

In the study, researchers at Princeton University had men and women rate the attractiveness of different faces.

And they found that women like a guy with a darker look, a five o'clock shadow, well-defined eyebrows...and yes, well-defined eyes. In some of the cases, the eyes were well-defined by eyeliner, and the women liked that look.

Look, these pupils stand out on their own, ok?!

Men tended to like women with red lips and skin that was lighter than average. See? Why do you tan so much? We don't mind if you're pale! That went for all races...so guys liked paler white women, light-skinned black women, and on and on.

And both genders tended to prefer faces that didn't have too much chubbiness on the cheeks or the upper neck.

HIGHER SALARIES IN THE WORKPLACE? NO. FREE FOOD? YES!
Here's a great tip if you run a business and want your employees to start working harder...without having to give out raises, God forbid.

According to a new survey by Staples, the key to productivity is...FREE FOOD! Ya know, my friend Amanda works at a Staples. They don't give their employees free food. She's a total slacker!!

Anyway, 73% of employees said they'd be happier at work if their office had a well-stocked kitchen. 57% believe that if there was more free food, everyone would be more productive.

The survey also estimated that American workers leave the office to get coffee more than 85 million times every year. That's total, not 85 million times per person. But it leads to 10.6 BILLION HOURS of lost productivity a year.

RELEASE DATE RELEASED...
"American Reunion"...the "American Pie" sequel that reunites most of the original cast for the first time since "American Wedding" in 2003...has a release date. It's coming out next April. That's all.

WHAT MOM DOES AND DOESN'T WANT...
Mother's Day is...NEXT WEEKEND! According to a new survey of moms by Buy.com, here are the top three gifts that mothers want...your mileage may vary...
#1.) A day at the spa
#2.) A gift card
#3.) Something homemade

Keep it real here, mom ain't gonna get #3 from anyone! As for the gift that they DON'T want...the number one answer was "flowers."

Now, beyond the gift: 32% of moms said the way they most want to spend Mother's Day is by having a nice family meal out. 30% want to spend time with the family at home.

Of the non-mothers in the survey, only 22% say they plan to spend at least $25 more on a Mother's Day gift this year.

SORRY LADIES...THE HANDYMAN IS DEAD...
Our grandfathers would whip us raw if they knew how many of us have plumbers, electricians, and semi-legal immigrant handymen on speed dial.

The data doesn't lie: A new study has found that today's men aren't even CLOSE to being as handy as men were 40 years ago.

In 1970, 71% of men said they could handle any do-it-yourself project. Today, only 44% of men have that kind of confidence.

There are two main reasons that our handiness is going down. One, as fathers become less handy, the skills aren't getting passed down. And two, over the past few decades, learning technology skills has become far more valuable.

The survey also predicts that at this rate, by 2048, men who can handle any home do-it-yourself project will be EXTINCT.

STICKY SATURDAY

2011-04-23T07:24:00.002-04:00

Highs into the 70's today but it'll be a muggy one.
Here's a BUNCH of stuff!

WE SHARE EVERYTHING ON FACEBOOK...ALMOST!
Facebook has made us into a world of OVERSHARERS. In a new survey, an employment website called Glassdoor.com wanted to see if there's ANYTHING that most people are reluctant to share online.

And they found there are only TWO things that we all agree are not for sharing online. Those are...details about your SEX LIFE and details about your SALARY.

Only 2% of Americans said they were comfortable sharing either of those.

I could probably point you in the direction of some folks who ARE in that 2%, but I won't...

Nothing else was close...although a good number of people also said they were reluctant to share their kid's activities and their household purchases.

The survey also found that 18- to 34-year-olds are most likely to share info about their relationships and jobs...women are most likely to share relationship details, vacation photos, and shopping photos...and Northeasterners share the least.

HEY FOREIGN PEOPLE...SUCK IT! WE'RE FRIENDLY!
Here's a message to all the other countries out there who say Americans are rude and obnoxious...EFF YOU. We're super, super nice, you a-holes. And we have the data to prove it.

According to a new global survey by HSBC Bank and "Forbes", the U.S. is the FOURTH friendliest country in the world.

The only countries that beat the U.S. were Canada, Bermuda, and South Africa.

The rankings were based on four factors: How easy it is for foreigners to befriend locals...success in learning the local language...capacity to integrate into the community...and the ease of fitting in to the foreign culture.

The full top 10 goes: Canada, Bermuda, South Africa, U.S., Australia, Spain, France, United Kingdom, Malaysia, and Germany.

As for the least-friendly countries...of the places included in the study, Qatar got the lowest score. It was just below Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Switzerland, and India.

THIS WON'T GET HER TO GO HOME WITH YOU...
Last week, a 21-year-old man was at a bar in Destin, Florida. His name hasn't been released, but it was 2:20 A.M., and he wanted to pick up a woman before the night was over.

So he started trying to talk to a 21-year-old. Her name wasn't released either, but we do know that she wasn't interested and wouldn't talk to him. Which was a great instinct on her part, because the guy turned out to be QUITE the gentlemen.

He was so upset that she was rejecting him that he got belligerent, loud...and then PUNCHED the woman in the FACE!!! He gave her an uppercut that left bruising and swelling on her chin.

Whatcha bet he had an Ed Hardy shirt on? Affliction?

The man was arrested and charged with misdemeanor battery.

DUN DUN DUN...
KRAYZIE BONE has QUIT BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY...and the other guys are NOT happy about it.

Flesh-n-Bone and Layzie Bone tell TMZ that Krayzie is a, quote "dumb (eff)" for leaving the group, because Bone "made him who he is."

Flesh adds, "Krayzie might as well say '(Eff) Eazy-E' because he is disrespecting Eazy-E's legacy by leaving the group." (The late Eazy-E discovered Bone back in the early '90s.)

Bone will go on without Krayzie, and they say they will welcome him back if he chooses to return.

HOOVER PULLS THEIR ADS FROM ABC...
Last week, ABC announced that they're killing their soap operas "All My Children" and "One Life to Live".

But some people think there's a chance they could be revived, since nothing ever REALLY dies in the soap opera world. (Except their audiences??)

And get this: The crusade to resuscitate the soaps is being led by HOOVER! Yep, the vacuum company started right here in North Canton. Not only is this NOT a joke, but Hoover is playing some serious hardball.

Hoover's VP of Marketing Brian Kirkendall is so "disappointed" that ABC has canceled the soaps...that Hoover will be yanking their ads from ABC. The Hoover spots will be pulled ASAP...and all of them will be gone by this Friday.

His aggressive response could have something to do with the fact that his wife and mother are "passionate" fans of both shows...as are some of his friends at Hoover.

He's set up an email address to, "help pull together the mass emotional outpouring of support," and he will forward the fan responses to ABC. And he's also ranting about the canceled soaps on Hoover's Facebook page.

he email is SaveTheSoaps@Hoover.com...and the Facebook link is: Facebook.com/Hoover. ABC has not responded to this.

STRESSED OUT? MIGHT BE YOUR CHOICE OF CAREER!
Unlike air traffic controllers, pilots actually HAVE to stay awake when they have your life...and their own life...in their hands. And going without a nap like that is really stressful.

The website CareerCast.com just put out its annual report on the top 10 most and least stressful jobs of the year...and commercial airline pilot was named the number one most stressful job.

In general, the jobs on the high stress list are ones that are dangerous, intense, filled with crisis situations, high-pressure, or some combination of those. The low stress jobs are ones that have very little danger and minimal physical demand.

The least stressful career of 2011 is...audiologist. If you don't know, that's someone who diagnoses and treats hearing disorders.

The top 10 least stressful jobs are: Audiologist . . . dietitian . . . software engineer . . . computer programmer . . . dental hygienist . . . speech pathologist . . . philosopher . . . mathematician . . . occupational therapist . . . and chiropractor.

The top 10 MOST stressful are: Commercial airline pilot . . . PR executive . . . senior corporate executive . . . photojournalist . . . newscaster . . . advertising account exec . . . architect . . . stockbroker . . . EMT . . . and real estate agent.

BLAME IT ON THE BIRD. THE BIRD IS THE WORD...
On Sunday afternoon, outside of Toronto, police spotted a 58-year-old woman swerving down the street, continuously honking her horn.

They tried to pull the woman over but she kept swerving...and crashed into a CITY BUS.

That brought her car to a stop, and fortunately, no one was hurt. And when the police went over to the woman's car, they found something strange...she was HALF NAKED.

Tragically, no reports have said whether it was the top half or the bottom half. Or why she was naked in the middle of a Sunday afternoon.

The woman wasn't drunk or speeding...no, she told the cops she lost control of the car because her PET BIRD got loose inside and was flying around like crazy.

She was arrested for reckless driving. The bird is being cared for by the humane society.

NICKI MINAJ...
Rockin' the LAPDANCE! Yummy
http://www.tmz.com/2011/04/20/nicki-minaj-grinds-on-nba-superstar-steve-nash/

JUSTIN IS LOSING HIS HAIR...
Yep, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE...the guy that 99% of ladies wanna bang. I hafta tell ya, this makes me feel better about my hair that's slowly crawling back on my head!

There's a reason Justin keeps his head well-shorn these days: HE'S LOSING HIS HAIR.

"In Touch Weekly" says Justin keeps his hair short so people won't notice he's going bald. In the meantime, he's using, "specially formulated shampoo to promote hair growth."

STUFF COSTING MORE?
There were some new numbers last Friday about the Consumer Price Index...that's a measurement of the overall price of household goods. According to the new stats, it's gone up 2.7% in the last year.

And the price of gas...which has gone up 28% in the last year...is just the tip of the iceberg. Here are ten other things that either ALREADY cost more, or are ABOUT to cost more.

#1.) Plane Tickets. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, domestic fares went up 22% between August and February, mostly because of gas prices.

#2.) Insurance. State Farm just announced an average rate hike of 18.8% for homeowners in Florida, so we can assume they'll do the same thing everywhere else soon. And Allstate has been raising rates for auto insurance too.

#3.) Chocolate. Late last month, Hersey's raised its wholesale prices by almost 10%. The prices in most stores haven't gone up yet, but they will in May or June.

#4.) Coffee. The price of coffee jumped 27% between December and March, and companies like Starbucks, Folgers, and Dunkin' Donuts have all started charging more.

#5.) Fast Food. McDonald's is raising prices this year because the cost of ingredients is going up. And Wendy's says they expect to pay 15% more for beef in 2011. So expect the price of a burger to go up at basically EVERY restaurant.

#6.) Produce. Even when you take the growing season into account, the price of fruit and vegetables has gone up an astounding 23% in the last three months. Bananas are up 10%, and potatoes are up 39%.

#7.) Furniture. Companies like Ethan Allen and La-Z-Boy are charging up to 7% more because the prices of cotton, yarn, leather, and steel have gone up.

#8.) Juice. Last month, Tropicana announced they'll be charging 4 to 8% more for some types of juice, because cold weather damaged citrus crops in Florida. And Minute Maid is doing the exact same thing.

#9.) Soft Drinks. The price of carbonated drinks went up by 14% between December and March, mainly because of higher costs for ingredients, packaging, and transportation.

#10.) Tires. Between September and March, U.S. tire prices climbed 6%, and last month Cooper Tires raised their prices for the second time this year.

When they announced the price hike, the company said the price for rubber had gone up 75% in just a few months.

IT'S NOT THE WRONG SIZE, IT LOOKS GREAT...
I had no idea so many women walk around HATING the way their lady parts look. Especially since, when a guy actually earns his way down there, the LAST thing he cares about is how picturesque the view is.

But that's not stopping the self-loathing. According to a survey, 89% of women, or eight out of nine, say they don't think their lady-junk is attractive, sexy or beautiful. And more than 57% think their stuff is the IMPROPER SIZE.

There's a new photography book out called "I'll Show You Mine" that features shockingly close-up photos of women down there.

The photographer says the goal is to show women that, quote, "[the] stunning diversity and beauty of the female vulva does not abide by the unrealistic ideal of a neat clamshell propelled by mass media and mainstream pornography."

ARKANSAS MORE ADVANCED THAN US?
When it comes to the states with the most households that aren't using landline phones anymore, numbers one and two are Arkansas and Mississippi.

That means they're more technologically advanced than the rest of us and rely on their cell phones...or that even landline technology hasn't reached them and they're using two tin cans on a string.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, 35.2% of people ages 18 and older in Arkansas live in households that don't have a landline. For Mississippi, it's 35.1%.

The rest of the states where more than 30% of people are in non-landline households are: Texas, North Dakota, Idaho, Kentucky, Oregon, Colorado, Nebraska, and Oklahoma.

As for people who are still using their home phones, New Jersey and Rhode Island are the leaders. Only 12.8% of people in each of those states lives in a household without a landline.

The rest of the states where less than 20% of people live without landlines are: Connecticut, South Dakota, New Hampshire, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, New York, California, Maryland, Montana, and Alaska.

I KNEW IT!!
Bad news, Purell junkies. According to the FDA, you're wasting your time.

Sure, hand sanitizers do kill SOME germs...but when it comes to protecting you against the biggest antibiotic-resistant infections, they fall way short. That includes things like E. coli, salmonella, H1N1, staph infections...and even the flu.

On their website, the FDA wrote, "Consumers are being misled if they think these products you can buy in a drug store...will protect them from a potentially deadly infection. The FDA has not approved any [of these] products."

They say that washing your hands with warm water and soap for 20 seconds is still their recommended method for avoiding bacterial and viral infections.

YOU STAY CLASSY, SANDUSKY...
For one brief moment in time on Tuesday, 19-year-old Andrea Musser of Perkins Township, near Sandusky, was the homecoming queen, belle of the ball, and Girl Gone Wild all at the same time. That moment of glory ended very quickly, though.

On Tuesday night, Andrea went to visit a friend of hers at a jail in Erie County. As she left, she stood outside the jail...and lifted up her shirt to FLASH HIM...and I'm guessing every other inmate who was lucky enough to be watching.

Unfortunately, jail personnel were also watching...and Andrea was arrested and charged with public indecency and trespassing. She got a 10-day suspended sentence and a $223 fine. LOL!

INCREASE YOUR SEX APPEAL...
A sense of humor is one of the most important things people look for when they're dating. So to help users find people they're comically compatible with, Match.com came up with a list of the ten different types of humor.

You'll fall into at least one of these categories, but hopefully a few.

#1.) Laugh-At-Life Humor. According to Match.com, people with this type of sense of humor tend to like the kind of satire and fake news you'd find in "The Onion".

Basically, they don't take life too seriously, and look for the absurdity in situations.

#2.) Bonding-In-The-Moment Humor. This type of person uses humor to bond with people. And their jokes are usually good-natured rather than insulting. So it's a good type of humor to use on dates.

#3.) Slapstick Humor. This one's pretty straightforward: If your favorite movie of all time is "Airplane" or you've seen every episode of "The Three Stooges", then you're probably a fan of slapstick.

#4.) Sarcastic Humor. This type of person enjoys dark, scathing jokes, like what you'd find on "The Daily Show".

Sarcasm on a first date can be tricky. So Match.com says you should use it in small doses, and always pair it with an appropriate facial expression or tone of voice.

#5.) Self-Deprecating Humor. Chris Farley and John Belushi are two of the most famous self-deprecating comedians. And in small doses, it's endearing. But if you overuse it...especially on a date...you'll seem like you have bad self-esteem.

#6.) Deadpan Humor. If you crack people up without smiling or even raising an eyebrow, you have a deadpan sense of humor. The only problem is, your jokes can fall flat because people don't REALIZE you're joking.

#7.) Highbrow Humor. It's like what you might read in "The New Yorker", and it's a great style of humor on dates...as long as your date knows all the obscure references you're making.

But if you ONLY have a highbrow sense of humor, you can come across as a know-it-all.

#8.) Insult Comedy. If you loved Perez Hilton BEFORE he decided to stop bullying celebrities, this is you. And if you find the right person, you can sit on the couch and rip on people all day.

But it's a very negative style of humor. So it won't go over well on a date unless you know for sure that the person loves making fun of people too.

#9.) Cultural References. People who use this style of humor know a movie quote for every situation in life. The problem is when they talk to someone who's not up on pop culture like they are, their jokes don't make sense.

#10.) Bathroom Humor. If you like gross jokes and jokes about bodily fluids, then you like bathroom humor. Most people do on SOME level, but if you're over the age of 13 and ONLY make bathroom jokes, people will just think you're a moron.

And now...you're armed with proper knowledge...go forth into your weekend! Hoppy Easter!

NAME AT YOUR OWN RISK

2011-04-14T07:22:00.002-04:00

...oh? I won't name it then. I'm not feeling ultra risky this morning.
It's Thursday. Here's a buncha shtuff....

YOUR DRINK OF CHOICE FOR THIRSTY THURSDAY...
A new Harris poll surveyed the country to rank America's most popular drinks. And the verdict is...BEER. 63% of us say we drink beer, "at least several times a year." Here's the full list...

#1.) Beer, 63%
#2.) Domestic wine, 54%
#3.) Vodka, 41%
#4.) Rum, 34%
#5.) Tequila, 28%
#6.) Imported wine, 28%
#7.) Foreign whiskey (Canadian, Irish), 20%
#8.) Champagne, 17%
#9.) Cordials and liqueurs, 17%
#10.) Bourbon, 15%
#11.) Gin, 14%
#12.) Scotch, 11%
#13.) Cognac, 8%
#14.) Brandy/Armagnac, 7%
#15.) Other, 6%

Here are a few more findings from the poll...
Men are most likely to drink beer. Women are most likely to drink domestic wine. No surprise there.

Three-quarters of men drink beer several times a year, versus half of women.

Two-thirds of women drink domestic wine several times a year, versus less than half of men.

Men are four times more likely to drink bourbon or scotch than women.

The most common drinking frequency in the country is at least once a week, at 29%. Next most is "I never drink" at 25%. At least once a month is third, at 20%. And...6% of people say they drink EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Men are more likely to drink daily than women, 7% to 3%.

LIKE VAMPIRES? GO TO MAINE!
A new website monitored 21 online dating sites to see what keywords different single people use in different parts of the country. For example, people in Houston want "rich entrepreneurs"...in Maine, they want "unmanly vampires."

The site's organization is pretty clunky, but it's still a pretty cool way to see the dating trends in your area and how they compare to the rest of the state and country. Check out the maps at http://perfect.lukedubois.com/

PHONE FROM POTTY...
When you're talking with someone on the phone, and suddenly it sounds a little more echo-y on their end, do you think...did they just go into the bathroom? Or when you suddenly hear flushing water?

In a new survey, 56% of Americans admitted to using their cell phones in the bathroom. And we say "admitted" because we STRONGLY suspect there are some people who lied.

Of the people who take their phones to the can, 70% make calls, 62% text, 20% listen to music, 19% check Facebook and Twitter...and 7% actually pull up something on their phone to read.

I can honestly say...I've been guilty of ALL of those at some point or another!

YOU SHOULD ALSO GO TO MAINE IF YOU WANT PEACE...
In a new study, a think tank called the Institute for Economics and Peace ranked all 50 U.S. states based on how peaceful they are. Which is a good thing or a bad thing, I guess...depending on your feelings toward hippies. (???)

The study was based on factors like homicide rates, the percentage of the population in jail, the availability of guns, the number of police officers, and the overall crime rate.

And the basic conclusion is...the Northeast is peaceful. HELL YEAH we are!! And the South is gonna kill you. Bastards.

Maine was named the most peaceful state in the country, and five of the top 10 most peaceful states are in New England.

The top 10 goes: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Minnesota, North Dakota, Utah, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Iowa, and Washington.

Louisiana was named the least peaceful state, and it's joined in the bottom 10 by a LOT of other Southern states: At least six, and up to eight if you count Tennessee and Oklahoma as Southern states.

The bottom 10 goes: Louisiana, Tennessee, Nevada, Florida, Alabama, Texas, Arkansas, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Maryland.

The good news in all of this is that according to the study, the U.S. on the whole has become significantly more peaceful over the past 15 years...mostly thanks to a big decrease in homicides and violent crimes.

MARRIED WOMEN ARE HAPPIER...
According to a new study, women might CONVINCE themselves that they're happy living with their mantoy and not getting married...but until they get a ring and a piece of paper that says "marriage certificate" on it, they're secretly depressed. Yep, they needed a study to figure that out.

Researchers at the University of Cologne (LOL?) in Germany studied more than 22,000 women around the world, and found that in every country, married women were ultimately happier than unmarried women who live with their guy.

And they believe married women are happier because ultimately, society STILL disapproves of unmarried couples who live together.

They did find that in countries where cohabitation is more popular, there's less of a happiness difference between married and unmarried women.

So places like England, Sweden, and the Netherlands had smaller happiness differences between married and cohabitating women than more traditional countries like Mexico, Brazil, Bulgaria...and the U.S.

BUT...

In theory, moving in together with your boyfriend or girlfriend for financial reasons is probably not the smartest move. But whatever. This is America. You can do what you want.

And if you are doing it for financial reasons, according to Mint.com, as a couple living together, you'll spend 41% MORE than a single person. But since you're both contributing, that means you'll both spend 30% less than if you lived apart.

WHICH CAR HAS THE WORST REPUTATION?
When you think of a Fiat, you may think of them as the crappy cars that are a plague all over Europe.

Well, the Fiat is back in the U.S. And we already hate it.

Very quietly this year, the 2012 Fiat 500 subcompact car went on sale in America. Chrysler owns Fiat, and they've been selling it.

And in a new study of the American car market, the car brand that got the lowest scores for reputation is...Fiat.

Apparently, we have long memories. Even though very few people knew Fiat was back in the U.S., we only associate the brand with its mediocre '70s fleet. In fact, the new Fiats are apparently pretty decent.

Other car brands that scored just better than Fiat are Suzuki, Smart Car, Dodge, Chrysler, Kia, and Jeep.

Volkswagen, Audi, Acura, BMW, and Lexus got the highest scores for having the best reputations.

Really? That's my only comment.

DAILY DUMBASS!!
It's been a minute since our last DD story!
Yeah...this burglar is going to end up dead one day. Because he clearly doesn't understand the downside of high risk, low reward crimes.

On Saturday morning, a man broke into the LION HOUSE at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. He used a ladder to cross the TIGER moat and broke into the tiger enclosure.

Luckily for him, there weren't any lions or tigers there at the time. They'd been moved out of the public areas and into a secure area for the night. But there was a CHANCE that there'd be lions and tigers there, which makes this insanely high risk.

And what did this guy steal? Some walkie-talkies and pepper spray. The value was estimated around $3,500...but that REALLY doesn't seem like a worthwhile prize for breaking into an area of the zoo that could've been filled with lions and tigers.

Police are still searching for the burglar.

HEY FB! EASIER PRIVACY SETTINGS?
According to a new study, almost none of us have ANY IDEA what we are and aren't making public on our Facebook profiles.

Researchers at Columbia University surveyed students...and 93% of them were publicly sharing something they thought was private. 84.6% were hiding something they wanted to share.

EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the survey fell into one or both of those categories. Which means ZERO PERCENT completely understood exactly what they were sharing and hiding on Facebook.

The researchers say the problem isn't with us...it's with Facebook. They make their privacy settings incredibly confusing, which makes it almost impossible to set your privacy the way you want it. I'm 99.9% sure mine is the way I want it? Perhaps I should check...

Which of course leads to the conclusion: DON'T TRUST FACEBOOK. If you have something you think should be private, it's best not to have it online at all.

NAKIE CELEBS:
ASHLEY TISDALE, BRIDGET MOYNAHAN, KERI HILSON and KALEY CUOCO get NAKED in the new issue of "Allure" magazine.

***SEE THE PICS HERE: http://www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage***

Ashley says she did it to let people know she's not a little Disney kid anymore "I'm 25, almost 26, but people think of me as much younger because I look young.

"Being in this shoot was me saying, 'I'm not just the young girl everybody thinks I am. I'm actually a woman.'"

I honestly thought she was like 21!

Kaley says, "I have not told my family about this, and I'll tell you why: Until they see the photos, they won't understand.

"When I told my mom about the shoot, I left out the part about taking my clothes off. I was way more excited than I ever thought I would be. Which made me realize, I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I thought."

AGAIN, PICS HERE: http://www.facebook.com/robbiemackpage

LUPE FIASCO IS BETTER THAN YOU...
In the upcoming issue of "XXL" magazine, which comes out in two weeks, LUPE FIASCO boasts about his lyrical prowess.

He says, "I can actually make the argument, seriously, that, Yo, I'm better than all y'all. You have people who can say that. Jay-Z can say that. Eminem can say that. Canibus can say that...if we are going line for line.

"If you want to relate me to the newer cats, let's go. Let's go line for line and bar for bar. If it's all about spitting and metaphors and MCing and lyrics and entendres, I will eat 99% of you dudes up."

MICHELLE IS IN!
ALYSON HANNIGAN has officially signed on for the latest "American Pie" sequel, "American Reunion". As the title implies, this one reunites the original cast. Or at least that's the plan.

Last we heard, JASON BIGGS, SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT and EUGENE LEVY had all signed on.

Deals are also in the works with Tara Reid, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Chris Klein, Mena Suvari and Stifler's Mom herself, Jennifer Coolidge.

It's not clear if any of them have officially signed on yet, or if any other cast members...like Eddie Kaye Thomas, Shannon Elizabeth or Natasha Lyonne...are returning.

SMASH THAT SUMBITCH!!!
Good to see that even in today's awful work climate, there are plenty of office workers who are still firmly devoted to beating the system. Literally. Beating the system.

According to a new survey, 13% of office workers say that if they really wanted their company to replace their old computer with a new one, they think the quickest way to make it happen would be...SMASHING their computer.

7% of people would try buying parts and upgrading their computer themselves.

4% would put in a request saying they needed a computer to be set up for a new co-worker, and hope no one realized it wasn't true.

And 20% said they'd take their computer to a store and trade it in for a new one...THEN tell their boss or the I.T. department about it.

Added up, that means almost HALF of workers think that the best way to get a new computer at work is by taking care of things on their own.

Only 37% of people said they'd go about things by the book...filing a request with their manager demonstrating why they need a new machine and how much it would improve their work.

THIS *SHOULD* PISS YOU OFF...
...wait, on second thought. NO, it shouldn't! I like seeing the oil companies coughing up some cash!
BP has paid more than $754 MILLION to state and city governments in the Gulf Coast region because of the oil spill. The money came with almost no strings attached...just that it had to be loosely tied to recovering from the spill.

And the governments that got the money REALLY took that whole "loosely tied to the recovery" thing seriously. Here are some of the things that they've purchased...

Biloxi, Mississippi bought 14 SUVs and pickup trucks, two boats, two dump trucks, and a backhoe loader.

A $35,000 2011 Chevy Tahoe went to the mayor of Biloxi so he could get to, quote, "countless meetings" about the oil spill.

Ocean Spring, Mississippi bought Tasers for all of their reserve police officers...it's not clear how that was related to the spill.

In one Florida county, which was kept anonymous, $14,000 went to the county commissioner's girlfriend so she could open up a PR firm to spread good news about the area.

The head of the Lafourche, Louisiana parish bought herself a top-of-the-line iPad because, "I must be in contact at all times." Her spokesman got a $3,165 Dell computer because work on the spill wore out his one-year-old computer.

Florida spent $560,000 on three concerts...Kenny Loggins, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and the Doobie Brothers. They played on Okaloosa Island to show that the spill hadn't ruined tourism in the area. Or whatever. Let's hear "Danger Zone!"

I'M SORRY MS. JACKSON...

2011-04-09T09:40:00.002-04:00

I am for REAL!
Herrrrrre's some shtuff....

S-S-S & M-M-M
RIHANNA doesn't just appear on the cover of the new "Rolling Stone" in painted-on shorts. She also gave them a pretty candid interview, in which she revealed her preferences in the bedroom. Not surprisingly, she's a little kinky. Chains and whips DO excite her! Well, sort of...

She says, "I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned [because] you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I'd rather have him use his hands."

She adds, "Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge...That's sexy to me."

Rihanna is also a bit of a masochist outside the bedroom...and that's not always such a good thing. She says, "It's not something I'm proud of, and it's not something I noticed until recently.

"I think it's common for people who witness abuse in their household. They can never smell how beautiful a rose is unless they get pricked by a thorn."

Obviously, that's our segue into the part of the interview where Rihanna discusses CHRIS BROWN. First off, she addressed easing the restraining order that's been in place since he assaulted her in February of 2009.

She said, "You can never please people. One minute I'm being too hard, and the next minute I'm a fool because I'm not being hard enough.

"It doesn't mean we're gonna make up, or even talk again. It just means I didn't want to object to the judge."

Rihanna says she's not jumping back into any kind of relationship with Chris...but at the same time, she's not interested in punishing him anymore, either.

"We don't have to talk again ever in my life. I just didn't want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did to me was a personal thing. It had nothing to do with his career.

"Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can't perform at awards shows, that definitely made it difficult for him. That was the only thing it was going to change, so I didn't care."

Rihanna admits she kept her emotions in check after the Chris Brown incident..."I put my guard up so hard...I didn't want people to see me cry. I didn't want people to feel bad for me.

"It was a very vulnerable time in my life, and I refused to let that be the image. I wanted them to see me as, 'I'm fine, I'm tough.' I put that up until it felt real."

WOMEN ON FACEBOOK? THEY HATE THEIR FACEBOOK FRIENDS...
Here's more proof that your Facebook friends aren't really your friends. Because, odds are...you secretly HATE them. At least if you're a woman.

A new survey of 400 women (not many) found that 83%, or more than four out of five, admit they've kinda grown to HATE most of their Facebook friends. And these are the reasons why...

65% say their friends share too many boring or pointless updates too often.

63% say their friends complain all the time.

46% say their friends "like" too many posts.

41% say their friends use Facebook inappropriately, or too frequently, to promote political or social causes.

40% say their friends use Facebook to clearly provide false info or images that show off a perfect life.

LOL ^That one makes me laugh. "What the hell, I KNOW her life is actually in shambles, she should be showing THAT!"

And 16% say their friends post too many photos of their damn kids.

The survey also found that 61% of women say they're Facebook friends with a drama queen . . . 35% are friends with a "frenemy" . . . and 26% are friends with someone who always puts up airbrushed or touched-up photos.

Ya know what bugs me? People who put photoshopped pics up. Be it black and white, or that have all kinds of stupid artsy crap on them...

UM...
This is a completely random study out of the University of North Carolina...but, I guess, it should help you the next time you're at Macy's and trying to get the attention of those super sexy employees at the cologne counter.

Researchers at UNC found that people will think you're more IMPRESSIVE if they see you riding UP an escalator or walking UP a flight of stairs than if they see you walking DOWN. No, really.

They believe the reason is that we subconsciously link height to power. So when someone sees you moving upward, it gives a slight illusion that you're getting taller...which makes you more impressive.

Is that true? Ever saw someone riding up an escalator and said 'Oh, I GOTTA have it!?'

AHHH, BASEBALL SEASON...
And hey, you've GOTTA love the TRIBE starting off 5-2 as of this writing! Check out the salaries of MLB teams. A-Rod makes as much as the ENTIRE KC Royals squad: http://www.thespread.com/mlb-news/033111-2011-baseball-payrolls-list

SEE, WE AREN'T PERVS!!
You know that old catchphrase that men think about sex every seven seconds? According to a new survey, men are a LOT less perverted than that. I mean...it's not even close.

Head & Shoulders (really? of all organizations...) surveyed 5,000 men and they found that men actually only think about sex every TWO HOURS. Here's how the average guy's day breaks down...

He spends 177 minutes a day worrying about his job.

If he's single, he spends 126 minutes thinking about finding a woman. If he's married, he spends 118 minutes thinking about his wife. Doesn't say thinking about WHAT in regards to his wife, just that he's thinking about her.

He also spends 101 minutes worrying about money...

Almost an hour thinking about sports.

33 minutes worrying about how he looks and whether he's going bald (HA!)

30 minutes thinking about his mom.

And about 15 minutes thinking about sex.

They didn't say what men are thinking about for their other six or seven waking hours.

BAD NEWS/GOOD NEWS...
Here's the bad news: A new study says that 10% of women always or almost always feel SAD after sex. But here's the good news...that means nine out of ten of us are satisfying the hell out of the ladies, and I like those odds!!

Researchers at the Queensland Institute of Technology in Australia led the study. They found several different reasons why one out of ten women are sad after sex...and it's not always because they're unsatisfied.

Sometimes they feel disconnected from their partner...sometimes they start feeling anxious...sometimes they're guilty (that would be the hoe you brought home from the bar)...and sometimes they're reminded of a traumatic past sexual experience.

The study also found that, overall, 33% of women said they'd been sad after sex at least once in their life.

PROPS TO CUDI...
Cleveland's KID CUDI has announced that he's grown out of smoking marijuana...and he's admitting to this, even though he knows it will disappoint his fans.

He explains, "I don't smoke weed anymore. I'll leave it to the kids. I'm 27 with a business to run and I need to be alert and focused with my mind strong.

"For those who still get it on, smoke one in my memory as your favorite lonely stoner. This is not a joke. I know most of you wanna see me all drugged out and (effed) up and I know misery loves company, but I'm sorry those days are over.

"I had a good run, Amsterdam and all. I'm happy being sober. I'm happy being a new me. Giva (eff) who thinks of me different, you didn't care about me in the first place if you can't be proud and happy for me for growing and starting a new chapter."

CAME ACROSS THIS...
This is really stupid, but if you like cooking in the buff, this list has the potential of saving you A LOT of grief. A website called TheDailyMeal.com came up with a list of foods you should never cook naked. Here are the top four.

#1.) Bacon. Cooking it in a pan is the most dangerous method because grease tends to splatter everywhere. Cooking it in the oven is a little safer, but it'll probably still be crackling, even after you take it out.

Steak is also on the list for basically the same reason.

#2.) Tomato Sauce. It's hard to cook it without letting some splatter on the stove. And if it splatters a few more inches while you're NUDE, you could end up with a very bad burn in a very unfortunate spot.

#3.) Potato Latkes. Here's a good rule of thumb: When you're cooking something in oil, at least wear socks, pants, and a t-shirt.

"Deep fried turkey"...which is really only popular around Thanksgiving...is also on The Daily Meal's list for the same reason.

#4.) Jalepenos and Other Hot Peppers. If you've ever been cooking with peppers and rubbed your eye by mistake, you know it's absolutely excruciating, and the pain can last a long time.
Now imagine how it would feel if you were cooking naked and rubbed something ELSE by mistake.

MTV'S "OMA'S"...
MTV has announced the nominees for their first "O Music Awards", which will celebrate ONLINE music and culture.

The categories include things like: "Must Follow Artist on Twitter", "Best Music Hashtag Meme", "Fan Army FTW", "Best NSFW Music Video", "Best Innovative Music Video" and "Best Fan Forum".

In case you reside under a rock, NSFW is "Not Safe for Work", FTW is "For the Win"...

And a "meme", which rhymes with "cream", is basically any phrase that becomes common Internet slang through repetition. An example of a recent hashtag meme would be "#winning."

For the more conventional categories: Arcade Fire, Robyn, and OK Go are among the artists up for Best Innovative Music Video...and Radiohead, Kanye West and Lady Gaga are among the nominees for Best Innovative Artist.

The nominees for "Fan Army FTW" include: Justin Bieber's Beliebers, Lady Gaga's Little Monsters, Taylor Swift's Taylor Gang, Adam Lambert's Glamberts, and the Rihanna Navy.

You can check out all the nominees at OMusicAwards.tumblr.com. (And if you're really into this nonsense, you can follow the OMA Twitter account for updates. The handle is @MTVOMA.)

The winners will be determined by fan votes. Voting is supposed to begin SOON, The winners will be announced during a live WEBCAST at OMusicAwards.com on April 28th.

SPEAKING OF AWARDS...
The Grammy people have just announced a MAJOR revamp, in which 31 CATEGORIES have been slashed. Next year, the Recording Academy will hand out 78 trophies, as opposed to the ridiculous 109 that were handed out this year.

The top four categories...Best Record, Best Album, Song of the Year and Best New Artist...haven't been changed. But some of the bigger categories have been consolidated.

The most notable change is that they did away with having separate categories for male and female artists. So for instance, the male and female vocal categories were combined into "solo performance" in the pop, R&B, rock and country genres.

After all the cuts, there will now be four R&B awards instead of eight...while country, rock and pop will now have four categories instead of the previous seven. Some other, smaller generes have been merged together.

For example, "Hawaiian music, Native American music and zydeco or Cajun have been folded into the single regional roots music category." Polka, which lost its own category in 2009, is also jammed in there.

And blues and folk will be dropped down to one award each...instead of having separate distinctions for "contemporary" and "traditional."

The president of the Recording Academy said the changes were made to maintain and increase competition...and to enhance the prestige of winning a Grammy.

GWENY GWEN...
NO DOUBT singer GWEN STEFANI says she doesn't play the Slut Card like some of today's female pop stars...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Speaking of KATY PERRY, RIHANNA and LADY GAGA, Gwen says, "I don't see myself in those girls. I usually put pants on.

"I see these girls as more going for the sex-symbol thing. I was more, in the band, like a tomboy. Of course, I think every girl is sexy, so there's going to be a little of that. But I see a lot of younger artists going more toward the sexy thing."

YOUR BOSS DOESN'T WANNA BE YOUR FB FRIEND...
Don't worry that your boss will be UPSET if you're not Facebook friends with him. Or her. Because THEY don't really want YOU seeing their private life either.
Excuse me, I'm headed over to delete John Stewart now...

And back. A new survey found 43% of workers said they feel uncomfortable being connected to their boss on Facebook. Bosses were even LESS into it...47% of bosses said they were uncomfortable being friends with their employees.

As for whether you should be Facebook friends with your co-workers...26% of people said they're even uncomfortable with THAT.

I'm guessing that's just the office gossip types.

FREE MORTGAGES!!
There's a company out there that's willing to PAY YOUR MORTGAGE payments...but you have to agree to let them publicly BRAND you as broke, desperate, and a pariah of the neighborhood.

The company is called Adzookie. And they're offering to pay your mortgage...IF you let them paint your house in bright colors and cover it with ads.

You have to sign up for a minimum of three months and can extend the offer for up to a year. When your contract ends they repaint your house to its original color...and stop making your mortgage payments.

Wondering if anyone's interested? Adzookie quietly launched this offer on their website on Tuesday...and received more than 1,000 applications within hours.

They've only budgeted $100,000 for this program, and each house costs $8,000 just for the paint...so if you want to get in on this, you'd better submit an application now.

Apply here: http://www.adzookie.com/paintmyhouse.php

Also, before you do, make sure your neighborhood and city allow you to paint your house crazy colors and cover it with ads. And you have to own the home...leases and rentals aren't allowed....obviously.

More tomorrow...enjoy your Saturday!