...til CHRISTMAS!
GOOD NEWS FOR THE ADELE HATERS
It's been eleven months since ADELE'S album "21" came out...and since then, she's been one of the biggest sensations in music.
That's despite the fact that she's had to cancel a lot of tour dates because of throat problems. Last month, she had surgery on her vocal cords. It was a success, and she expects to be able to perform again by February.
But Adele isn't planning on beginning work on her next album anytime soon.
She says, "I'm really looking forward to some time to do nothing...I imagine I'll be 25 or 26 by the time my next record comes out. I haven't even thought about my third album yet."
Adele is 23 now. She turns 24 in May...so if you really want to take her at her word, that means we probably won't see another Adele album until late 2013 or 2014.
She adds, "I'm just gonna lay some concrete, set up home and just 'be' for a bit. I'll disappear and come back with a record when it's good enough. There will be no new music until it's good enough and until I'm ready."
PFFFFT
Men might procrastinate on buying gifts. Men might not always buy the perfect thing. And men may not have a reputation for buying THOUGHTFUL Christmas gifts...But dammit...at least men are willing to drop some serious money.
A new survey found that men spend approximately 52% MORE on Christmas presents for their women than their women spend on them. Men spend an average of about $235, women spend approximately $155.
SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOP DOES THE PRICE IS RIGHT
Next month, we're going to find out if SNOOP DOGG has a handle on how much normal people's kitchen appliances cost...because he's going to be a contestant on "The Price Is Right".
Snoop is participating in the show's first ever celebrity week. He'll compete against regular, non-celebrity contestants on Monday, January 2nd. (The celebrity episodes have already been filmed.)
JENNY MCCARTHY will take on the contestants on Tuesday...NEIL PATRICK HARRIS will be the celebrity on Wednesday. Thursday will feature former "American Idol" star CHRIS DAUGHTRY, and HEIDI KLUM will be Friday's star.
Naturally, the celebrities will be playing for charities. Snoop's winnings will go to his Youth Football League.
Btw, it sounds like Snoop did pretty well. Producer Mike Richards says, "It was a lot of fun to watch these celebrities play our iconic games. Each one had their own unique strategy to win.
"Let's just say Snoop knows more about the price of grocery items than you might think!"
CHRISTMAS: WOMEN ARE IN CHARGE, BUT...
Women are in charge of Christmas. That's a fact. A survey last week found that 0% of couples say the man takes the lead for the holidays. But deep down, men secretly think they could do it better.
A new survey found that more than one-third of men think Christmas would be MUCH better if they ran the show. Here's what men say they would change...
#1.) People would be expected to spend less on gifts.
#2.) Family Christmas cards would become rare...more than half would stop sending them.
#3.) There would be NO visits from the in-laws.
#4.) They'd do whatever it took to make the holiday season LESS STRESSFUL.
#5.) And finally, instead of traditional Christmas dinner, they'd serve STEAK and FRENCH FRIES.
YEAH!!!
CHRISTMAS: BY THE NUMBERS
And now, Christmas by the numbers. The Postal Service will handle 16.5 billion cards, letters, and packages...
two billion candy canes will be sold...
220 million poinsettias will be sold...
Americans will buy 25 to 30 million real Christmas trees and 17 million fake ones...
and the average family will mail out 28 cards.
According to a new survey, the way the average family spends their time together on Christmas is...watching TV. Almost EIGHT HOURS of TV. About 20% of families say at least one argument breaks out over what to watch on Christmas. Movies, Christmas specials, and sports are the most common picks.
SHUT UP & FLY
You know what makes Christmas more fun? MATH. "The Atlantic" magazine ran the numbers on Santa's Christmas Eve journey and found the following: There are 526 million Christian children under age 14 worldwide. Santa needs to hit 22 million per hour, every hour. That's 365,000 kids per minute, or 6,100 per second.
BAD GIFTS AND WHAT TO DO WITH THEM
"Consumer Reports" released their annual holiday survey, and found that one in five people have gotten a lousy holiday gift. Which might seem kind of low, but that's 49 million people.
11% of people said that their in-laws give them the worst presents, and 5% blamed their grandparents. Here are the five most common things people do with a bad present. (People could choose more than one answer.)
#1.) Make the best of it: 44%
#2.) Keep it and store it someplace out of sight: 39%
#3.) Donate it to charity: 18%
#4.) Re-gift it: 13%
#5.) A tie between "throw it out" and "return it to the store": 11%
6% of people say they try to sell the bad gift. 2% give it back to the person that gave it to them, and 2% post a picture of it online to make fun of it.
KATY PREGNANT??
People keep trying to make KATY PERRY pregnant. Wait, that didn't quite come out right. Although I Know *I* would! People keep trying to SUGGEST that Katy is pregnant. There, that's better.
But Katy keeps denying it. There may be a little paunch there, but Katy swears it's all down to JUNK FOOD. (And can't we all relate!) On the BARBARA WALTERS special the other night, she specifically called out Taco Bell.
Katy wore a tight dress Wednesday while pimping her new perfume...and when the pictures hit the web yesterday, the chatter ignited yet again.
MTV's TOP 10 ARTISTS OF 2011
1.) Katy Perry
2.) Nicki Minaj
3.) Adele
4.) The Throne
5.) Lady Gaga
6.) Rihanna
7.) Beyoncé
8.) Lil Wayne
9.) Drake
10.) Justin Bieber
THE HOLIDAY POLL (POLE?)
Harris Interactive just conducted a huge holiday poll. Here are some of the results:
Favorite Christmas Movie: "A Christmas Story"...but not by much. 20% of people chose that one...while 19% went with "It's A Wonderful Life", which NBC is airing on Christmas Eve this year. TBS will have your hookup for "A Christmas Story".
What a RIPOFF. EVERYONE knows "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" is THE.BEST.CHRISTMAS.MOVIE.EVER. DUH!
Favorite Christmas Special: "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". This is the animated version, not the JIM CARREY movie. It was chosen by 23% of respondents.
This was another close one. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" got 22%.
WOW, LADIES...WOW. SAD SAD SAD.
2,000 women were asked about their husbands and boyfriends...and NONE of them said their man was perfect. Not ONE.
The average woman rated her man as being about 69% perfect, which meant that they had a long list of things that needed to be fixed. Here are the five biggest complaints.
#1.) Not getting along with her family.
#2.) Using her toothbrush. (what? ewwwww)
#3.) Leaving the bathroom dirty.
#4.) Hating her friends.
#5.) Not being good with children.
Some of the classic complaints about men finished lower than expected. Driving complaints were #10. Being a mama's boy was #11. Burping and farting was #16. And watching too much sports was #19.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
THE NICKELBACK STORY...
...since people have asked, here's a quick run-down.
FEBRUARY 2010:
On a Saturday morning, I get tipped off by a friend that Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback, had been spotted at a bar in Salem, Ohio 2 nights prior. Understand, Salem is a small town (12,000), about 40 mins east of Canton, 20 mins SW of Youngstown.
I'm skeptical right away...sure he was! Pffft. Why is the lead singer of one of the biggest rock bands in the world...at a bar in SALEM, OHIO?!
When I say biggest, I MEAN biggest. 31 singles...21 went top 10, 11 went to #1. They've sold 50 MILLION albums in 10 years.
So I cautiously and skeptically go to the air with it. "Hey, supposedly Chad Kroeger has been around here recently, if you saw him I'd love to hear from you".
Well the phones lit up. People saw him having dinner. "My buddy saw him" at such and such a place. Within the hour, it came out that he was dating someone from the area and he was here to visit her. I let that part get out.
Well, you know how this is gonna go. EVERYONE that knows the girl or knows OF the girl starts to call in...I didn't air many of them. A few. I shy'd away from that angle of the story. I wanted to take the 'rockstar in small town' angle, which was the real story.
Monday afternoon, I took a recorder out to Salem and chatted with the bartenders and owners at Spanky's, the place where Chad had been seen 2 nights prior. That video is on Youtube.
One of the calls I had taken on Saturday afternoon was from someone who claimed to be a friend of the girl. She said the family had been aware that we were talking about it, but Chad had already left town. (I wanted to get him to the station)
Another of those calls that afternoon were from Mo. HE talked about it Monday evening and got MORE of the calls from people who knew the girl. He aired them, including one from her ex-boyfriend, who had a pretty heavy case of jealousy going on, as can be expected.
It went as far as our Program Director (our boss) getting a call from the management and record companies saying basically "You WILL stop talking about this". So, we stopped talking about it.
DECEMBER 2011:
Fast forward to last night, Mo is out at a bar in Canton...The Pub. Chad was in the bar last night with the girlfriend and someone who was there told him that Mo had come in. Chad walked up to Mo and asked to speak with him for a minute.
Chad told Mo that the girlfriend's family was very upset about the things that were said on the radio and were really hurt by them. Long story short, Chad says he's going to come on Mo's show the next night and clear the air. Mo doesn't believe that Chad will actually show, so Chad GAVE MO his personal credit card!
I held it in my hand...it's metal. An American Express Business card.
I heard about it like so many of you did, from The DeLuca Show this morning and via facebook.
I was at the station tonight...we were all kind of wondering if he was actually going to show up.
I was standing in the lobby of Q92 with our owner/GM Donnie, talking about whether he was going to show up or not. He said "well 2 cars just pulled in. Probably some listeners here to see if he shows up, or maybe it's Charlotte"...a few seconds later...Chad Kroeger, lead singer from Nickelback walked right in the front door of the station. Hand to God.
He said "Hi, I'm looking for Mo?"...funny, there were a few people standing around, NO ONE said anything like "omg he's here"...it was just silent. A few people followed Chad into the building. That was the girlfriend, her parents, I believe her brother and sister. I said "yep, he's right in there, I'll take you to him"...meanwhile Mo had seen them walk in and was coming around to meet Chad and his family.
They chatted in the lobby for a minute, Mo apologized to Chad's girlfriend's mom and dad and talked with them for a minute, invited Chad into the studio. If you were listening, you heard it all go down at that point. It all unfolded in a HURRY...
I never got a pic with Chad. They were on their way out to dinner tonight. I wanted to roll video on the interview and also wanted to make sure the news that Chad was about to be on was posted on our Q92 Facebook right away, this was happening in LITERALLY 90 seconds. So while he snapped a few pics with people, I was feverishly making sure everything was set.
If you missed the interview, here is a link.http://dl.dropbox.com/u/53549894/CHAD%20KROEGER%20from%20NICKELBACK%20live%20on%20Q92.mp3
I'm not too worried about the pic. We can get one next time he's in town. Including the "Hey, this is Chad from Nickelback and whenever I'm in town, I listen to Q92" liner....and it'll be 100% true!
FEBRUARY 2010:
On a Saturday morning, I get tipped off by a friend that Chad Kroeger, lead singer of Nickelback, had been spotted at a bar in Salem, Ohio 2 nights prior. Understand, Salem is a small town (12,000), about 40 mins east of Canton, 20 mins SW of Youngstown.
I'm skeptical right away...sure he was! Pffft. Why is the lead singer of one of the biggest rock bands in the world...at a bar in SALEM, OHIO?!
When I say biggest, I MEAN biggest. 31 singles...21 went top 10, 11 went to #1. They've sold 50 MILLION albums in 10 years.
So I cautiously and skeptically go to the air with it. "Hey, supposedly Chad Kroeger has been around here recently, if you saw him I'd love to hear from you".
Well the phones lit up. People saw him having dinner. "My buddy saw him" at such and such a place. Within the hour, it came out that he was dating someone from the area and he was here to visit her. I let that part get out.
Well, you know how this is gonna go. EVERYONE that knows the girl or knows OF the girl starts to call in...I didn't air many of them. A few. I shy'd away from that angle of the story. I wanted to take the 'rockstar in small town' angle, which was the real story.
Monday afternoon, I took a recorder out to Salem and chatted with the bartenders and owners at Spanky's, the place where Chad had been seen 2 nights prior. That video is on Youtube.
One of the calls I had taken on Saturday afternoon was from someone who claimed to be a friend of the girl. She said the family had been aware that we were talking about it, but Chad had already left town. (I wanted to get him to the station)
Another of those calls that afternoon were from Mo. HE talked about it Monday evening and got MORE of the calls from people who knew the girl. He aired them, including one from her ex-boyfriend, who had a pretty heavy case of jealousy going on, as can be expected.
It went as far as our Program Director (our boss) getting a call from the management and record companies saying basically "You WILL stop talking about this". So, we stopped talking about it.
DECEMBER 2011:
Fast forward to last night, Mo is out at a bar in Canton...The Pub. Chad was in the bar last night with the girlfriend and someone who was there told him that Mo had come in. Chad walked up to Mo and asked to speak with him for a minute.
Chad told Mo that the girlfriend's family was very upset about the things that were said on the radio and were really hurt by them. Long story short, Chad says he's going to come on Mo's show the next night and clear the air. Mo doesn't believe that Chad will actually show, so Chad GAVE MO his personal credit card!
I held it in my hand...it's metal. An American Express Business card.
I heard about it like so many of you did, from The DeLuca Show this morning and via facebook.
I was at the station tonight...we were all kind of wondering if he was actually going to show up.
I was standing in the lobby of Q92 with our owner/GM Donnie, talking about whether he was going to show up or not. He said "well 2 cars just pulled in. Probably some listeners here to see if he shows up, or maybe it's Charlotte"...a few seconds later...Chad Kroeger, lead singer from Nickelback walked right in the front door of the station. Hand to God.
He said "Hi, I'm looking for Mo?"...funny, there were a few people standing around, NO ONE said anything like "omg he's here"...it was just silent. A few people followed Chad into the building. That was the girlfriend, her parents, I believe her brother and sister. I said "yep, he's right in there, I'll take you to him"...meanwhile Mo had seen them walk in and was coming around to meet Chad and his family.
They chatted in the lobby for a minute, Mo apologized to Chad's girlfriend's mom and dad and talked with them for a minute, invited Chad into the studio. If you were listening, you heard it all go down at that point. It all unfolded in a HURRY...
I never got a pic with Chad. They were on their way out to dinner tonight. I wanted to roll video on the interview and also wanted to make sure the news that Chad was about to be on was posted on our Q92 Facebook right away, this was happening in LITERALLY 90 seconds. So while he snapped a few pics with people, I was feverishly making sure everything was set.
If you missed the interview, here is a link.http://dl.dropbox.com/u/53549894/CHAD%20KROEGER%20from%20NICKELBACK%20live%20on%20Q92.mp3
I'm not too worried about the pic. We can get one next time he's in town. Including the "Hey, this is Chad from Nickelback and whenever I'm in town, I listen to Q92" liner....and it'll be 100% true!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
SOCKS (this has nothing to do with socks)
...unless you count me wearing some right now.
WORST CELL PROVIDERS:
"Consumer Reports" just released the results of their annual survey on cell phone service providers, and for the second year in a row, AT&T took its rightful spot in LAST PLACE.
But there's a difference. One year ago, they were the only ones with the iPhone. Now Verizon and Sprint both have it. So this time around, their bad rating COULD cost them customers who stuck with their bad service for the sake of the iPhone.
Verizon got the highest customer satisfaction ratings, just ahead of Sprint. T-Mobile was in third place...but significantly above AT&T.
ROCKIN' HO HO HO
"Rolling Stone" has put together a list of The Greatest Rock 'N' Roll Christmas Songs. There are 16 of them...but not all of them are "rock 'n' roll." In fact I would say, most are not.
Here's the list, which doesn't appear to be in any particular order:
"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)", Darlene Love (1963)
"Happy Xmas (War Is Over)", John Lennon (1971)
"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", Bruce Springsteen (1985)
"All I Want For Christmas Is You", Mariah Carey (1994)
"Little Saint Nick", The Beach Boys (1963)
"Run Rudolph Run", Chuck Berry (1958)
"The Chanukah Song", Adam Sandler (1994)
"Frosty the Snowman", The Ronettes (1963)
"Do They Know It's Christmas?", Band Aid (1984)
"Wonderful Christmastime", Paul McCartney (1979)
"Jingle Bell Rock", Bobby Helms (1957)
"The Night Santa Went Crazy", "Weird Al" Yankovic (1996)
"Christmastime for the Jews", Darlene Love (2005)
"Christmas in Hollis", Run-D.M.C (1987)
"Christmas in Harlem", Kanye West (2010)
"The Christmas Waltz", She & Him (2011)
KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES
Every year, Jones Soda releases special limited-edition holiday flavors. And usually they have some RIDICULOUS and DISGUSTING-SOUNDING flavor, like green bean casserole or smoked salmon.
But this year, they're all pretty boring.
There's no awful-sounding flavor...nothing even close. The four flavors are Candy Cane, Pear Tree, Sugar Plum, and Gingerbread. All of those sound like they'll immediately cause diabetes, but not repulsion.
If you're interested, they sell a pack with one bottle of each flavor at JonesSoda.com for $8. And stores like Target generally carry the holiday flavors too.
SMELL YA LATER
Apparently, the way you smell is giving out more clues about you than you realized. And I don't mean that it's telling people you like Axe body spray, or that you don't like showering.
In a new study out of Poland, researchers found that people could accurately predict someone's major personality traits just by smelling them.
By smelling people's T-shirts, the participants in the study were able to predict whether other people were outgoing and extroverted, or neurotic and anxious. And they were particularly good at predicting those qualities in the opposite sex.
In other words, when you meet someone and start sizing them up as someone to date, your sense of smell is more involved than you realize.
I'm gonna try that next time. "Hi, I'm Rob. Can I SMELL you? Just..yeah, lemme.......ahhhhhhh yeah"
GIMME THE KEYS PLEASE
Usually when a cop pulls you over and you don't get a ticket, it's your lucky day. But that's assuming he doesn't steal your car and wreck it.
A 28-year-old police officer named Enrique Gonzalez pulled over a drunk driver in Newark, New Jersey back on November 15th. He was off-duty, but was still wearing his uniform.
And instead of giving the driver a ticket, Enrique told him to get out of his Ford F-450 pickup truck and sober up.
The unidentified driver says Enrique told him, "I'm not going to arrest you. I'm going to leave the keys in the tailpipe. Come back and get it when you're sober."
The driver left, but when he came back to get his truck, it was gone.
That's because Enrique STOLE the truck...drove it to his estranged wife's house in the nearby town of Garfield...and used it to RAM her 2011 Hyundai.
Internal affairs finally worked out the details of Enrique's arrest on Friday, and he's been charged with criminal mischief and receiving stolen property. His court date is December 15th.
TWITTER BEEF, FEATURING NICKELBACK
If you love NICKELBACK...and you're willing to admit it to yourself...would you mind tossing them a bone? They could really use some support.
After being bullied by the haters before performing at the halftime show of the Thanksgiving game between the Lions and the Packers...Nickelback is now taking shots from the Atlanta Braves pitching staff.
Relief pitcher PETER MOYLAN recently dissed the band after seeing a FOO FIGHTERS show. He Tweeted, "Note to @Nickelback: Please attend a @FooFighters concert. That's how it should be done Chad."
NICKELBACK responded with: Quote, "Foos are killer for sure. We're doing just fine too, thanks...? For you Pete, is watching Kimbrel better from the bench or on TV?"
That's CRAIG KIMBREL, who's also a Braves reliever. He was the National League Rookie of the Year, while Peter was injured and missed most of the season.
Since this is so random, this pseudo-beef could've been AWESOME. But unfortunately, it seems like it's over already.
The next day, Nickelback Tweeted, quote, "There is no beef [with] @PeterMoylan. We both took shots. We didn't take it seriously. To each their own. No harm meant, all the best to him."
And Peter responded, quote, "@Nickelback nothing like lighting a fire in the Twitter world! Where would we be without [smack] talking?
"For the record, watching Kimbrel deal is fantastic from anywhere."
50 CENT SAYS WEEZY IS "TURNING INTO 50 CENT"
50 CENT says LIL WAYNE is probably going to start getting some backlash at this point in his career...when he's trying to find NEW success, now that's he's already found initial success.
This is territory that 50 says he's very familiar with.
He tells "XXL" magazine, "[Lil Wayne] is turning into 50 Cent. He's going through that process of being successful, 'til people go, 'You know what? Get the [eff] outta here. We don't want you here no more.' Because you're successful.
"For me, the music is an artistic choice. I'll say, from the very beginning, that I can care less about a critic or how someone judges me for the actual music.
"People understand within hip-hop culture that I'm passionate about actually trying to do something different. I want to make a change in a different way. This is about me personally feeling like I wanna mean more after I'm dead, when I'm gone."
HEADLINE
"38% of People are Already Done With Their Christmas Shopping"
My response:
"Bahahahahahaha"
BIGGER N BETTER
Women are incredibly skilled at making guys think their packages are the PERFECT size. At some point, EVERY woman learns the catchphrase, "It's the perfect size for ME...if it were any bigger, it would be PAINFUL."
Lies. All lies.
Lawrence Barraclough is a sexuality expert, and he compiled data from several surveys to figure out what women are hoping for in a sexual partner's penis size.
He found that the average woman describes the "ideal" length to be 7.25 to 8.25 inches in length, and 6.25 to 6.5 inches in girth.
BUT...the average penis size is 5.5 to 6.3 inches in length, and 4.7 to 5.1 inches in girth. So most women's "ideal" size is longer and wider than what 98% of men are packing. Only 2% of men have junk that fits into that "ideal" range.
His research also found that basically NO women described a penis less than five inches long as satisfying. There was no max, though...there were women interested in lengths of 11 inches and up.
As for girth, no circumference smaller than 4.5 inches or bigger than 7.25 inches was considered satisfying.
THE 'YEAR END LISTS'...
And, it begins. The impending onslaught of "Best Music of the Year" lists has officially commenced...and this year, first blood goes to MTV.
MTV.com's "Bigger Than the Sound" column has released its 20 Best Albums of 2011 list...and top honors go to the indie pop band GIRLS for their album, "Father, Son, Holy Ghost".
As usual, this list is a blend of stuff you've never heard...alongside mainstream albums that you may or may not feel comfortable calling "the best music of the year."
Here's the list:
1.) "Father, Son, Holy Ghost", Girls
2.) "21", Adele
3.) "Take Care", Drake
4.) "David Comes to Life", [Effed] Up (A Canadian hardcore punk band.)
5.) "Skying", The Horrors
6.) "Let England Shake", PJ Harvey
7.) "Bon Iver", Bon Iver
8.) "Watch the Throne", Jay-Z and Kanye West
9.) "In the Mountain, in the Cloud", Portugal. The Man ...A band originally from Wasilla, Alaska...a.k.a. the home of SARAH PALIN.
10.) "Born This Way", Lady Gaga
11.) "Slave Ambient", The War on Drugs
12.) "Nostalgia, Ultra", Frank Ocean...He's in the hip-hop group Odd Future.
13.) "Helplessness Blues", Fleet Foxes
14.) "House of Balloons and Thursday", The Weeknd
15.) "Ceremonials", Florence and the Machine
16.) "El Camino", The Black Keys
17.) "How to Get to Heaven from Jacksonville, FL", Gospel Music ...That's a band name. It isn't actually gospel music, it's "post-punk." For the record, this is an example of how you can choose an extremely un-Google-friendly band name.
18.) "Talk That Talk", Rihanna
19.) "We're New Here", A collaborative album featuring old-school soul singer and poet Gil Scott-Heron, who just died this year, and Jamie XX of the British indie pop group The XX.
20.) "4", Beyoncé
You can find their write-ups on each of these albums at MTV.com.
From the comments under the story, the big snubs seem to be BRITNEY SPEARS' "Femme Fatale" and LIL WAYNE'S "Tha Carter 4". But wasn't the last project better for BOTH of those artists?
CAR VS. GIRLFRIEND
This survey comes from England...but since American men are CLEARLY manlier than British men, it's GOT to be true over here too.
According to the survey, the majority of men...just over 50%...say that they find it easier to maintain their CAR than their relationship.
Here are some other things the survey found...
10% say they sometimes find themselves more captivated by the curves on cars than the curves on their partner.
14% talk more about their cars than their partner. Only 3% of women admitted the same thing.
Spending money on a car makes the average guy THREE TIMES HAPPIER than spending money on his partner.
And finally, if they had to get rid of their car or end their relationship...8% would choose their CAR over their partner.
SNEAK IT IN
The holidays are a time to reunite with family, which makes certain things tricky: Try having intimate relations with your wife when you have relatives sleeping on an air mattress in the next room.
Thankfully, we have four ways you can sneak in some vacation sex with your spouse over the holidays...courtesy of the good people over at Astroglide sex lube.
#1.) Long showers: You get some privacy when you're in the bathroom, so take advantage of it. When your guests hear the water running, they won't know the two of you are in there together.
#2.) Set the alarm: If both of you wake up in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep...or before everyone gets up...you should be able to cut loose. Just don't get too crazy, or you'll wake people up and defeat the purpose.
#3.) Take a nap: After preparing a big meal for everyone, you can announce that you need to lay down for awhile. And your spouse can find an excuse to check in on you.
#4.) Bribery: Offer to pay for a big family outing to go bowling or see a movie. Then come up with a reason that you and your spouse have to stay home.
WORST CELL PROVIDERS:
"Consumer Reports" just released the results of their annual survey on cell phone service providers, and for the second year in a row, AT&T took its rightful spot in LAST PLACE.
But there's a difference. One year ago, they were the only ones with the iPhone. Now Verizon and Sprint both have it. So this time around, their bad rating COULD cost them customers who stuck with their bad service for the sake of the iPhone.
Verizon got the highest customer satisfaction ratings, just ahead of Sprint. T-Mobile was in third place...but significantly above AT&T.
ROCKIN' HO HO HO
"Rolling Stone" has put together a list of The Greatest Rock 'N' Roll Christmas Songs. There are 16 of them...but not all of them are "rock 'n' roll." In fact I would say, most are not.
Here's the list, which doesn't appear to be in any particular order:
"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)", Darlene Love (1963)
"Happy Xmas (War Is Over)", John Lennon (1971)
"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town", Bruce Springsteen (1985)
"All I Want For Christmas Is You", Mariah Carey (1994)
"Little Saint Nick", The Beach Boys (1963)
"Run Rudolph Run", Chuck Berry (1958)
"The Chanukah Song", Adam Sandler (1994)
"Frosty the Snowman", The Ronettes (1963)
"Do They Know It's Christmas?", Band Aid (1984)
"Wonderful Christmastime", Paul McCartney (1979)
"Jingle Bell Rock", Bobby Helms (1957)
"The Night Santa Went Crazy", "Weird Al" Yankovic (1996)
"Christmastime for the Jews", Darlene Love (2005)
"Christmas in Hollis", Run-D.M.C (1987)
"Christmas in Harlem", Kanye West (2010)
"The Christmas Waltz", She & Him (2011)
KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES
Every year, Jones Soda releases special limited-edition holiday flavors. And usually they have some RIDICULOUS and DISGUSTING-SOUNDING flavor, like green bean casserole or smoked salmon.
But this year, they're all pretty boring.
There's no awful-sounding flavor...nothing even close. The four flavors are Candy Cane, Pear Tree, Sugar Plum, and Gingerbread. All of those sound like they'll immediately cause diabetes, but not repulsion.
If you're interested, they sell a pack with one bottle of each flavor at JonesSoda.com for $8. And stores like Target generally carry the holiday flavors too.
SMELL YA LATER
Apparently, the way you smell is giving out more clues about you than you realized. And I don't mean that it's telling people you like Axe body spray, or that you don't like showering.
In a new study out of Poland, researchers found that people could accurately predict someone's major personality traits just by smelling them.
By smelling people's T-shirts, the participants in the study were able to predict whether other people were outgoing and extroverted, or neurotic and anxious. And they were particularly good at predicting those qualities in the opposite sex.
In other words, when you meet someone and start sizing them up as someone to date, your sense of smell is more involved than you realize.
I'm gonna try that next time. "Hi, I'm Rob. Can I SMELL you? Just..yeah, lemme.......ahhhhhhh yeah"
GIMME THE KEYS PLEASE
Usually when a cop pulls you over and you don't get a ticket, it's your lucky day. But that's assuming he doesn't steal your car and wreck it.
A 28-year-old police officer named Enrique Gonzalez pulled over a drunk driver in Newark, New Jersey back on November 15th. He was off-duty, but was still wearing his uniform.
And instead of giving the driver a ticket, Enrique told him to get out of his Ford F-450 pickup truck and sober up.
The unidentified driver says Enrique told him, "I'm not going to arrest you. I'm going to leave the keys in the tailpipe. Come back and get it when you're sober."
The driver left, but when he came back to get his truck, it was gone.
That's because Enrique STOLE the truck...drove it to his estranged wife's house in the nearby town of Garfield...and used it to RAM her 2011 Hyundai.
Internal affairs finally worked out the details of Enrique's arrest on Friday, and he's been charged with criminal mischief and receiving stolen property. His court date is December 15th.
TWITTER BEEF, FEATURING NICKELBACK
If you love NICKELBACK...and you're willing to admit it to yourself...would you mind tossing them a bone? They could really use some support.
After being bullied by the haters before performing at the halftime show of the Thanksgiving game between the Lions and the Packers...Nickelback is now taking shots from the Atlanta Braves pitching staff.
Relief pitcher PETER MOYLAN recently dissed the band after seeing a FOO FIGHTERS show. He Tweeted, "Note to @Nickelback: Please attend a @FooFighters concert. That's how it should be done Chad."
NICKELBACK responded with: Quote, "Foos are killer for sure. We're doing just fine too, thanks...? For you Pete, is watching Kimbrel better from the bench or on TV?"
That's CRAIG KIMBREL, who's also a Braves reliever. He was the National League Rookie of the Year, while Peter was injured and missed most of the season.
Since this is so random, this pseudo-beef could've been AWESOME. But unfortunately, it seems like it's over already.
The next day, Nickelback Tweeted, quote, "There is no beef [with] @PeterMoylan. We both took shots. We didn't take it seriously. To each their own. No harm meant, all the best to him."
And Peter responded, quote, "@Nickelback nothing like lighting a fire in the Twitter world! Where would we be without [smack] talking?
"For the record, watching Kimbrel deal is fantastic from anywhere."
50 CENT SAYS WEEZY IS "TURNING INTO 50 CENT"
50 CENT says LIL WAYNE is probably going to start getting some backlash at this point in his career...when he's trying to find NEW success, now that's he's already found initial success.
This is territory that 50 says he's very familiar with.
He tells "XXL" magazine, "[Lil Wayne] is turning into 50 Cent. He's going through that process of being successful, 'til people go, 'You know what? Get the [eff] outta here. We don't want you here no more.' Because you're successful.
"For me, the music is an artistic choice. I'll say, from the very beginning, that I can care less about a critic or how someone judges me for the actual music.
"People understand within hip-hop culture that I'm passionate about actually trying to do something different. I want to make a change in a different way. This is about me personally feeling like I wanna mean more after I'm dead, when I'm gone."
HEADLINE
"38% of People are Already Done With Their Christmas Shopping"
My response:
"Bahahahahahaha"
BIGGER N BETTER
Women are incredibly skilled at making guys think their packages are the PERFECT size. At some point, EVERY woman learns the catchphrase, "It's the perfect size for ME...if it were any bigger, it would be PAINFUL."
Lies. All lies.
Lawrence Barraclough is a sexuality expert, and he compiled data from several surveys to figure out what women are hoping for in a sexual partner's penis size.
He found that the average woman describes the "ideal" length to be 7.25 to 8.25 inches in length, and 6.25 to 6.5 inches in girth.
BUT...the average penis size is 5.5 to 6.3 inches in length, and 4.7 to 5.1 inches in girth. So most women's "ideal" size is longer and wider than what 98% of men are packing. Only 2% of men have junk that fits into that "ideal" range.
His research also found that basically NO women described a penis less than five inches long as satisfying. There was no max, though...there were women interested in lengths of 11 inches and up.
As for girth, no circumference smaller than 4.5 inches or bigger than 7.25 inches was considered satisfying.
THE 'YEAR END LISTS'...
And, it begins. The impending onslaught of "Best Music of the Year" lists has officially commenced...and this year, first blood goes to MTV.
MTV.com's "Bigger Than the Sound" column has released its 20 Best Albums of 2011 list...and top honors go to the indie pop band GIRLS for their album, "Father, Son, Holy Ghost".
As usual, this list is a blend of stuff you've never heard...alongside mainstream albums that you may or may not feel comfortable calling "the best music of the year."
Here's the list:
1.) "Father, Son, Holy Ghost", Girls
2.) "21", Adele
3.) "Take Care", Drake
4.) "David Comes to Life", [Effed] Up (A Canadian hardcore punk band.)
5.) "Skying", The Horrors
6.) "Let England Shake", PJ Harvey
7.) "Bon Iver", Bon Iver
8.) "Watch the Throne", Jay-Z and Kanye West
9.) "In the Mountain, in the Cloud", Portugal. The Man ...A band originally from Wasilla, Alaska...a.k.a. the home of SARAH PALIN.
10.) "Born This Way", Lady Gaga
11.) "Slave Ambient", The War on Drugs
12.) "Nostalgia, Ultra", Frank Ocean...He's in the hip-hop group Odd Future.
13.) "Helplessness Blues", Fleet Foxes
14.) "House of Balloons and Thursday", The Weeknd
15.) "Ceremonials", Florence and the Machine
16.) "El Camino", The Black Keys
17.) "How to Get to Heaven from Jacksonville, FL", Gospel Music ...That's a band name. It isn't actually gospel music, it's "post-punk." For the record, this is an example of how you can choose an extremely un-Google-friendly band name.
18.) "Talk That Talk", Rihanna
19.) "We're New Here", A collaborative album featuring old-school soul singer and poet Gil Scott-Heron, who just died this year, and Jamie XX of the British indie pop group The XX.
20.) "4", Beyoncé
You can find their write-ups on each of these albums at MTV.com.
From the comments under the story, the big snubs seem to be BRITNEY SPEARS' "Femme Fatale" and LIL WAYNE'S "Tha Carter 4". But wasn't the last project better for BOTH of those artists?
CAR VS. GIRLFRIEND
This survey comes from England...but since American men are CLEARLY manlier than British men, it's GOT to be true over here too.
According to the survey, the majority of men...just over 50%...say that they find it easier to maintain their CAR than their relationship.
Here are some other things the survey found...
10% say they sometimes find themselves more captivated by the curves on cars than the curves on their partner.
14% talk more about their cars than their partner. Only 3% of women admitted the same thing.
Spending money on a car makes the average guy THREE TIMES HAPPIER than spending money on his partner.
And finally, if they had to get rid of their car or end their relationship...8% would choose their CAR over their partner.
SNEAK IT IN
The holidays are a time to reunite with family, which makes certain things tricky: Try having intimate relations with your wife when you have relatives sleeping on an air mattress in the next room.
Thankfully, we have four ways you can sneak in some vacation sex with your spouse over the holidays...courtesy of the good people over at Astroglide sex lube.
#1.) Long showers: You get some privacy when you're in the bathroom, so take advantage of it. When your guests hear the water running, they won't know the two of you are in there together.
#2.) Set the alarm: If both of you wake up in the middle of the night while everyone else is asleep...or before everyone gets up...you should be able to cut loose. Just don't get too crazy, or you'll wake people up and defeat the purpose.
#3.) Take a nap: After preparing a big meal for everyone, you can announce that you need to lay down for awhile. And your spouse can find an excuse to check in on you.
#4.) Bribery: Offer to pay for a big family outing to go bowling or see a movie. Then come up with a reason that you and your spouse have to stay home.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
SUNDAY NOT FUNDAY
um......here's some shtuff.
IF YOU *WANNA* GET WITH GAGA...
...cause I sure DON'T! But maybe you do.
LADY GAGA doesn't exactly seem to ooze sex appeal, but if you're someone who IS interested in her, here's what she's looking for:
According to Britain's "Sun" tabloid, Lady Gaga describes her type as, "[Ranging] from a really big [manhood] to a degree at Harvard."
She adds that she's also attracted to, "Talent and perseverance and pushing the boundaries of love and acceptance."
That being said, it's unclear how available she is. We've heard that Lady Gaga is hooking up with TAYLOR KINNEY from "The Vampire Diaries".
MIDNIGHT BLACK FRIDAY IS HERE TO STAY...
Stores posted all-time record sales on Black Friday and the ones that opened at midnight or earlier...including Walmart, Best Buy, Target, and Macy's...all reported enormous sales. SO...expect those early openings to be back next year.
Terry Lundgren is the CEO of Macy's. He says they LOVED the midnight opening because it brought a younger crowd they usually don't get on Black Friday. Then, around 4:00 A.M., the usual, older Black Friday crowd came as a second wave.
HOLIDAY STRESS? BLAME THE DECORATIONS!!
Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, a lot of people will be breaking out the Christmas decorations. But if you're not careful, apparently you can ruin the holiday season with poor placement.
Robyn Bentley says she's an expert on the proper placement of household items. From now I'm going to call myself an expert on frozen microwave dinners, how's that?
She also calls herself the Feng Shui Diva. I'm a guy so I don't even know what the HELL that is, let alone how to pronounce it.
She points out that many families have more sickness over the holiday season, people argue more, and feel more depressed...and she blames the decorations. So here are her decorating tips:
#1.) No red lights on the East or South sides of your house: According to Robyn, there's illness energy in the East and South sections of every house. And red lights add the "fire" element to your home.
Oh....Lord.
Obviously, you don't want such an intense element in areas of the house filled with illness energy. So use silver, white, and gold there instead. Obviously.
#2.) Don't create clutter or obstacles: First of all, squeezing past the talking, dancing snowman to get into the kitchen is just going to increase everyone's stress level. But clutter also slows the "chi flow" in your home.
The what? Is that something to do with Chicago?? I hate the White Sox too, maybe she's on to something with that.
#3.) Turn the Christmas lights off at bedtime: Too much light makes your body think it's daytime, and you won't get restful sleep. So turn off the holiday light display before hitting the sack.
SEASONS GREETINGS
I kinda like getting the Christmas cards in the mail.....hint hint!!! (especially when money is in them!)
According to a new survey, 63% of people say they plan to mail a holiday card this year, whether it's a Christmas card or letter to all of their family or friends or just a regular Hallmark card.
People also say they prefer hard-copy cards to e-cards, email, and phone calls.
HUGGERS UNITE!
HUGGING plays a way bigger role in your life than you ever quite realized.
According to a new study out of England, the average person wants a hug THIRTEEN TIMES a day. Each of those hugs averages 9.5 seconds. (That seems like a LOT of hugging for an awful LONG time to me...)
And every month, we spend one hour hugging. That means you spend somewhere around 40 FULL DAYS of your life hugging.
The study also found that 69% of people turn to their significant other for a hug. (And hopefully 100% turn to them for a 69.)
14% look to close friends when they want a hug...9% look to their parents.
About 14% said that they do their hugging in private because public displays of affection are inappropriate.
33% said it's inappropriate to hug in the workplace.
THE DREAM HOME
A new survey asked people to describe their dream house and, basically, the average person wants something that seems pretty obscure...an isolated, rural house on a lot of land that's also very convenient to work and shopping.
Here's the breakdown of the average dream house...
In a rural area, on at least a half-acre of land.
So isolated that you can get privacy without having to close the curtains.
BUT...less than 10 miles from work, less than five miles from the nearest town, and less than two miles away from school, the grocery store, and the doctor.
And despite the isolation, people want good neighbors who they're on a first-name basis with.
The only things people want from the house itself are four bedrooms, a study, a dining room, and a kitchen with a breakfast nook.
As for any "fantasy" elements of the house, there was only one that made the list...about half of the people polled wanted an indoor swimming pool.
About 10% of people surveyed said they were already living in their dream house. 25% of people say they're saving for it. The rest don't think they'll ever achieve their fantasy.
BURNING THOSE WINTER CALORIES
Chances are you gained a little weight this holiday season. or will soon. So here's something to keep you motivated: Four winter activities that can burn 500 calories in one hour.
#1.) Skiing and Snowboarding. It depends on how much you weigh, and how tough the slopes are. But you can generally expect to burn between 350 and 500 calories an hour.
#2.) Ice Skating. Just skating around in a circle for 60 minutes can burn between 400 and 500 calories.
#3.) Snowshoeing. Not like anybody DOES this. But if you want to strap on snowshoes and go for an hour-long hike, you can easily burn 500 calories or more.
#4.) Sledding. Obviously the actual sledding-downhill part doesn't burn that many calories. But the rest of the time, you're just walking uphill. So one hour of sledding can burn about 400 to 500 calories for the average person.
WEEZY & EMINEM DO A WORLD TOUR:
Peep the link: http://www.vibe.com/posts/lil-wayne-announces-world-tour-eminem
ANNND PLUMPING ON UP!
A new Gallup poll found that we're getting heavier, and we don't seem to care.
The average American is just under 20 pounds heavier than they were in 1990. Men weighed 180 pounds back then, and women weighed 142.
Now the average American male weighs 196 pounds, an increase of 16 pounds in 21 years. The average woman is up 18 pounds to 160.
Even our "goal weight" has increased over that time. Most people name a target weight that's ten pounds heavier than it was in 1990.
Back then, men said their ideal weight was 171 pounds. That's increased to 181.
The ideal weight for women went from 129 pounds in 1990 to 138 now, an increase of nine pounds.
And even though nearly 70% of American adults are considered overweight or obese by the CDC, just 39% think they're overweight. 56% of us think our weight is "just right."
OHIO STATE SAYS NO WAY!!!
We've all heard that men think about sex every seven seconds. According to a new study, that's a myth. Men don't think about sex THAT much. BUT...men DO think about sex more than women.
The study was conducted at The Ohio State University and had both men and women record how often they think about sex, food, and sleep on a daily basis.
The average man thought about sex 19 times per day. That's not once every seven seconds, obviously. To think about sex every seven seconds, you'd need to think about sex 8,000 times a day.
The average woman thought about sex 10 times a day...which is about half of what men reported.
The man who thought about sex the most in the study thought about it 388 times a day. That's about 24 times per hour. The woman who thought about sex the most thought about it 140 times a day, or almost nine times an hour. I'm pretty sure I know who that girl is.
NO ONE in the study of either gender had zero sexual thoughts per day.
The study also found that, in addition to 19 sexual thoughts, men think about FOOD 18 times a day and sleep 11 times. Women think about sex 10 times, food 15 times, and sleep about 8-and-a-half times.
72% OF GUYS...
This poll asked guys if they've ever used a pick-up line. 72%, or about three-fourths, said NO. 28% said yes. And here are some of the most popular lines they've used...
8% have said to a woman, "Is that a ladder in your pants or a stairway to heaven?"
7% have said, "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day."
And 5% have tried, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
RANDOM:
Two-Thirds of Expectant Parents Google Potential Names for Their Baby...To Make Sure It's Not a Stripper or Serial Killer's Name
NICKELBACK SAYS EFF THE HATERS
NICKELBACK says their fans always come out to support them, so they're not concerned about the haters. Specifically, the ones that supported an online petition to have them removed from the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving game halftime show.
Singer CHAD KROEGER says, "We get [hate like] that all the time. We've never really been a critics' darling or anything like that...The people speak. We sell a lot of records and fill a lot of arenas, and we don't hear many complaints."
Well, I'll give them that.
The petition picked up over 55,000 supporters. But Chad is right...according to their label, Nickelback has sold over 50 million albums worldwide, and has had over a dozen hits on the "Billboard" charts.
Of course, "the people" started that petition, not music critics. Every band has haters...Regardless, Nickelback seems to take that in stride.
MUSICAL TURNOFFS:
Tastebuds.fm recently conducted a poll to determine the Top 10 Musical Turnoffs according to their users. The site defined these acts as, quote, "The bands you just can't stand...REALLY can't stand."
Perhaps not surprisingly, NICKELBACK came in at #1...followed by JUSTIN BIEBER. (OK, so Canada = Good at healthcare, bad at fostering good music.)
Here's the Top 10, which is filled with some predictable names:
1.) Nickelback
2.) Justin Bieber
3.) Lady Gaga
4.) Ke$ha
5.) Coldplay
6.) U2
7.) Creed
8.) Katy Perry
9.) Lil Wayne
10.) Britney Spears.
LADY GAGA...
...in the new issue of "Vanity Fair". She says: "I Have an Inability to Know What Happiness Feels Like with a Man. I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that's what intimidates them is not my purse, it's my mind.
"It starts out good. Then when I'm in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it's all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.
"It's a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone."
DREADING THE HOLIDAYS: HERE'S WHY
I love this list because it's so not politically correct, and so HONEST. "Consumer Reports" surveyed more than 1,000 Americans and asked them what they're dreading about the holiday season. Here's the full top 11:
#1.) Crowds and long lines, 68%
#2.) Gaining weight, 37%
#3.) Getting into debt, 37%
#4.) Gift shopping, 28%
#5.) Traveling, 25%
#6.) SEEING CERTAIN RELATIVES, 24%
#7.) Nonstop seasonal music, 23% (none of that on Q92!)
#8.) Disappointing gifts, 19%
#9.) Having to attend holiday parties and events, 16%
#10.) HAVING TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE, 15%
#11.) Holiday tipping, 12%
SHOPLIFTING ON THE RISE...
When I look at the photos and watch the videos of the mob scenes from Black Friday, I wonder, "How do these stores keep people from stealing EVERYTHING?" And the answer is...they don't.
The National Association of Shoplifting Prevention just released some new statistics...and it turns out shoplifting is WAY bigger than you ever realized. Check this out...
Statistically, one out of every ELEVEN people who walks into a store shoplifts something. Seriously.
Retailers are set to lose $119 BILLION this year to shoplifting. That's 1.45% of total sales.
Only 3% of shoplifters are pros.
70% of shoplifters didn't go to the store planning to steal...but saw an opportunity and took it.
75% of shoplifters are adults, most of whom have jobs. And 35% have help from a corrupt employee.
Shoplifting is up 6% compared to last year.
AND WHAT ARE WE STEALING?
"Adweek" magazine surveyed store security pros from around the country and asked them what items are shoplifted the most from their stores. Here's the top ten:
#1.) Filet mignon. (LOL!!!!) "Luxury meat" thefts are up 21% since 2009 and are the most commonly stolen items from grocery stores.
#2.) Expensive liquors. Stolen more by alcoholics than underage kids.
#3.) Small electric tools. This covers everything from power drills to electric toothbrushes.
#4.) iPhones. iPhones, plus other small electronics, get stolen all the time. Approximately 100,000 laptops are stolen from stores every year.
#5.) Gillette Mach 4 razor blades. Razor blade thefts account for 2.7% of all store losses.
#6.) AXE body spray. AXE is the most stolen brand of deodorant, body wash, and body spray.
#7.) Polo. Polo is the most stolen designer brand, and Tommy Hilfiger is second. Clothing theft is up 31% since 2009.
#8.) Let's Rock Elmo. This Elmo toy, along with all the other hot toys for this Christmas season, are major targets.
#9.) Chanel No. 5. Designer fragrances account for 4% of losses in stores where they're sold.
#10.) Nikes.
I-O-WA!
The Good News: ASHTON KUTCHER returned to his hometown last week, and was swarmed by girls. The Bad News: Ashton's hometown is in Iowa. (I kid, I kid. I LOVE the cornfed Iowa girls! Seriously!)
Ashton and some friends hit a few bars in Iowa City, and a source says, "He was drinking beer, and girls kept coming up to him. He loved the attention. Girls were hugging him and shaking his hand.
"He was swarmed by girls. A few tried to convince him to go to a strip club...but he declined!"
FACEBOOK FTW!
Here's a great shot in the Facebook-versus-Twitter rivalry. Twitter only lets you post updates that are 140 characters. That's their signature characteristic.
Well...Facebook is going in the OTHER direction. Yesterday, they announced that they'll let you post a status update or wall post that's 63,206 characters.
In other words, their max is 451.5 times higher than Twitter's.
The previous max on Facebook was 5,000 characters, which they established in September. Before then, you could only post 500 characters.
The 63,206 characters basically means you'll NEVER hit the limit. To compare, a full-length novel is about 500,000 characters...which means it would only take you eight Facebook posts to put up an entire novel.
IF YOU *WANNA* GET WITH GAGA...
...cause I sure DON'T! But maybe you do.
LADY GAGA doesn't exactly seem to ooze sex appeal, but if you're someone who IS interested in her, here's what she's looking for:
According to Britain's "Sun" tabloid, Lady Gaga describes her type as, "[Ranging] from a really big [manhood] to a degree at Harvard."
She adds that she's also attracted to, "Talent and perseverance and pushing the boundaries of love and acceptance."
That being said, it's unclear how available she is. We've heard that Lady Gaga is hooking up with TAYLOR KINNEY from "The Vampire Diaries".
MIDNIGHT BLACK FRIDAY IS HERE TO STAY...
Stores posted all-time record sales on Black Friday and the ones that opened at midnight or earlier...including Walmart, Best Buy, Target, and Macy's...all reported enormous sales. SO...expect those early openings to be back next year.
Terry Lundgren is the CEO of Macy's. He says they LOVED the midnight opening because it brought a younger crowd they usually don't get on Black Friday. Then, around 4:00 A.M., the usual, older Black Friday crowd came as a second wave.
HOLIDAY STRESS? BLAME THE DECORATIONS!!
Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, a lot of people will be breaking out the Christmas decorations. But if you're not careful, apparently you can ruin the holiday season with poor placement.
Robyn Bentley says she's an expert on the proper placement of household items. From now I'm going to call myself an expert on frozen microwave dinners, how's that?
She also calls herself the Feng Shui Diva. I'm a guy so I don't even know what the HELL that is, let alone how to pronounce it.
She points out that many families have more sickness over the holiday season, people argue more, and feel more depressed...and she blames the decorations. So here are her decorating tips:
#1.) No red lights on the East or South sides of your house: According to Robyn, there's illness energy in the East and South sections of every house. And red lights add the "fire" element to your home.
Oh....Lord.
Obviously, you don't want such an intense element in areas of the house filled with illness energy. So use silver, white, and gold there instead. Obviously.
#2.) Don't create clutter or obstacles: First of all, squeezing past the talking, dancing snowman to get into the kitchen is just going to increase everyone's stress level. But clutter also slows the "chi flow" in your home.
The what? Is that something to do with Chicago?? I hate the White Sox too, maybe she's on to something with that.
#3.) Turn the Christmas lights off at bedtime: Too much light makes your body think it's daytime, and you won't get restful sleep. So turn off the holiday light display before hitting the sack.
SEASONS GREETINGS
I kinda like getting the Christmas cards in the mail.....hint hint!!! (especially when money is in them!)
According to a new survey, 63% of people say they plan to mail a holiday card this year, whether it's a Christmas card or letter to all of their family or friends or just a regular Hallmark card.
People also say they prefer hard-copy cards to e-cards, email, and phone calls.
HUGGERS UNITE!
HUGGING plays a way bigger role in your life than you ever quite realized.
According to a new study out of England, the average person wants a hug THIRTEEN TIMES a day. Each of those hugs averages 9.5 seconds. (That seems like a LOT of hugging for an awful LONG time to me...)
And every month, we spend one hour hugging. That means you spend somewhere around 40 FULL DAYS of your life hugging.
The study also found that 69% of people turn to their significant other for a hug. (And hopefully 100% turn to them for a 69.)
14% look to close friends when they want a hug...9% look to their parents.
About 14% said that they do their hugging in private because public displays of affection are inappropriate.
33% said it's inappropriate to hug in the workplace.
THE DREAM HOME
A new survey asked people to describe their dream house and, basically, the average person wants something that seems pretty obscure...an isolated, rural house on a lot of land that's also very convenient to work and shopping.
Here's the breakdown of the average dream house...
In a rural area, on at least a half-acre of land.
So isolated that you can get privacy without having to close the curtains.
BUT...less than 10 miles from work, less than five miles from the nearest town, and less than two miles away from school, the grocery store, and the doctor.
And despite the isolation, people want good neighbors who they're on a first-name basis with.
The only things people want from the house itself are four bedrooms, a study, a dining room, and a kitchen with a breakfast nook.
As for any "fantasy" elements of the house, there was only one that made the list...about half of the people polled wanted an indoor swimming pool.
About 10% of people surveyed said they were already living in their dream house. 25% of people say they're saving for it. The rest don't think they'll ever achieve their fantasy.
BURNING THOSE WINTER CALORIES
Chances are you gained a little weight this holiday season. or will soon. So here's something to keep you motivated: Four winter activities that can burn 500 calories in one hour.
#1.) Skiing and Snowboarding. It depends on how much you weigh, and how tough the slopes are. But you can generally expect to burn between 350 and 500 calories an hour.
#2.) Ice Skating. Just skating around in a circle for 60 minutes can burn between 400 and 500 calories.
#3.) Snowshoeing. Not like anybody DOES this. But if you want to strap on snowshoes and go for an hour-long hike, you can easily burn 500 calories or more.
#4.) Sledding. Obviously the actual sledding-downhill part doesn't burn that many calories. But the rest of the time, you're just walking uphill. So one hour of sledding can burn about 400 to 500 calories for the average person.
WEEZY & EMINEM DO A WORLD TOUR:
Peep the link: http://www.vibe.com/posts/lil-wayne-announces-world-tour-eminem
ANNND PLUMPING ON UP!
A new Gallup poll found that we're getting heavier, and we don't seem to care.
The average American is just under 20 pounds heavier than they were in 1990. Men weighed 180 pounds back then, and women weighed 142.
Now the average American male weighs 196 pounds, an increase of 16 pounds in 21 years. The average woman is up 18 pounds to 160.
Even our "goal weight" has increased over that time. Most people name a target weight that's ten pounds heavier than it was in 1990.
Back then, men said their ideal weight was 171 pounds. That's increased to 181.
The ideal weight for women went from 129 pounds in 1990 to 138 now, an increase of nine pounds.
And even though nearly 70% of American adults are considered overweight or obese by the CDC, just 39% think they're overweight. 56% of us think our weight is "just right."
OHIO STATE SAYS NO WAY!!!
We've all heard that men think about sex every seven seconds. According to a new study, that's a myth. Men don't think about sex THAT much. BUT...men DO think about sex more than women.
The study was conducted at The Ohio State University and had both men and women record how often they think about sex, food, and sleep on a daily basis.
The average man thought about sex 19 times per day. That's not once every seven seconds, obviously. To think about sex every seven seconds, you'd need to think about sex 8,000 times a day.
The average woman thought about sex 10 times a day...which is about half of what men reported.
The man who thought about sex the most in the study thought about it 388 times a day. That's about 24 times per hour. The woman who thought about sex the most thought about it 140 times a day, or almost nine times an hour. I'm pretty sure I know who that girl is.
NO ONE in the study of either gender had zero sexual thoughts per day.
The study also found that, in addition to 19 sexual thoughts, men think about FOOD 18 times a day and sleep 11 times. Women think about sex 10 times, food 15 times, and sleep about 8-and-a-half times.
72% OF GUYS...
This poll asked guys if they've ever used a pick-up line. 72%, or about three-fourths, said NO. 28% said yes. And here are some of the most popular lines they've used...
8% have said to a woman, "Is that a ladder in your pants or a stairway to heaven?"
7% have said, "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day."
And 5% have tried, "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
RANDOM:
Two-Thirds of Expectant Parents Google Potential Names for Their Baby...To Make Sure It's Not a Stripper or Serial Killer's Name
NICKELBACK SAYS EFF THE HATERS
NICKELBACK says their fans always come out to support them, so they're not concerned about the haters. Specifically, the ones that supported an online petition to have them removed from the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving game halftime show.
Singer CHAD KROEGER says, "We get [hate like] that all the time. We've never really been a critics' darling or anything like that...The people speak. We sell a lot of records and fill a lot of arenas, and we don't hear many complaints."
Well, I'll give them that.
The petition picked up over 55,000 supporters. But Chad is right...according to their label, Nickelback has sold over 50 million albums worldwide, and has had over a dozen hits on the "Billboard" charts.
Of course, "the people" started that petition, not music critics. Every band has haters...Regardless, Nickelback seems to take that in stride.
MUSICAL TURNOFFS:
Tastebuds.fm recently conducted a poll to determine the Top 10 Musical Turnoffs according to their users. The site defined these acts as, quote, "The bands you just can't stand...REALLY can't stand."
Perhaps not surprisingly, NICKELBACK came in at #1...followed by JUSTIN BIEBER. (OK, so Canada = Good at healthcare, bad at fostering good music.)
Here's the Top 10, which is filled with some predictable names:
1.) Nickelback
2.) Justin Bieber
3.) Lady Gaga
4.) Ke$ha
5.) Coldplay
6.) U2
7.) Creed
8.) Katy Perry
9.) Lil Wayne
10.) Britney Spears.
LADY GAGA...
...in the new issue of "Vanity Fair". She says: "I Have an Inability to Know What Happiness Feels Like with a Man. I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that's what intimidates them is not my purse, it's my mind.
"It starts out good. Then when I'm in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it's all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.
"It's a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone."
DREADING THE HOLIDAYS: HERE'S WHY
I love this list because it's so not politically correct, and so HONEST. "Consumer Reports" surveyed more than 1,000 Americans and asked them what they're dreading about the holiday season. Here's the full top 11:
#1.) Crowds and long lines, 68%
#2.) Gaining weight, 37%
#3.) Getting into debt, 37%
#4.) Gift shopping, 28%
#5.) Traveling, 25%
#6.) SEEING CERTAIN RELATIVES, 24%
#7.) Nonstop seasonal music, 23% (none of that on Q92!)
#8.) Disappointing gifts, 19%
#9.) Having to attend holiday parties and events, 16%
#10.) HAVING TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE, 15%
#11.) Holiday tipping, 12%
SHOPLIFTING ON THE RISE...
When I look at the photos and watch the videos of the mob scenes from Black Friday, I wonder, "How do these stores keep people from stealing EVERYTHING?" And the answer is...they don't.
The National Association of Shoplifting Prevention just released some new statistics...and it turns out shoplifting is WAY bigger than you ever realized. Check this out...
Statistically, one out of every ELEVEN people who walks into a store shoplifts something. Seriously.
Retailers are set to lose $119 BILLION this year to shoplifting. That's 1.45% of total sales.
Only 3% of shoplifters are pros.
70% of shoplifters didn't go to the store planning to steal...but saw an opportunity and took it.
75% of shoplifters are adults, most of whom have jobs. And 35% have help from a corrupt employee.
Shoplifting is up 6% compared to last year.
AND WHAT ARE WE STEALING?
"Adweek" magazine surveyed store security pros from around the country and asked them what items are shoplifted the most from their stores. Here's the top ten:
#1.) Filet mignon. (LOL!!!!) "Luxury meat" thefts are up 21% since 2009 and are the most commonly stolen items from grocery stores.
#2.) Expensive liquors. Stolen more by alcoholics than underage kids.
#3.) Small electric tools. This covers everything from power drills to electric toothbrushes.
#4.) iPhones. iPhones, plus other small electronics, get stolen all the time. Approximately 100,000 laptops are stolen from stores every year.
#5.) Gillette Mach 4 razor blades. Razor blade thefts account for 2.7% of all store losses.
#6.) AXE body spray. AXE is the most stolen brand of deodorant, body wash, and body spray.
#7.) Polo. Polo is the most stolen designer brand, and Tommy Hilfiger is second. Clothing theft is up 31% since 2009.
#8.) Let's Rock Elmo. This Elmo toy, along with all the other hot toys for this Christmas season, are major targets.
#9.) Chanel No. 5. Designer fragrances account for 4% of losses in stores where they're sold.
#10.) Nikes.
I-O-WA!
The Good News: ASHTON KUTCHER returned to his hometown last week, and was swarmed by girls. The Bad News: Ashton's hometown is in Iowa. (I kid, I kid. I LOVE the cornfed Iowa girls! Seriously!)
Ashton and some friends hit a few bars in Iowa City, and a source says, "He was drinking beer, and girls kept coming up to him. He loved the attention. Girls were hugging him and shaking his hand.
"He was swarmed by girls. A few tried to convince him to go to a strip club...but he declined!"
FACEBOOK FTW!
Here's a great shot in the Facebook-versus-Twitter rivalry. Twitter only lets you post updates that are 140 characters. That's their signature characteristic.
Well...Facebook is going in the OTHER direction. Yesterday, they announced that they'll let you post a status update or wall post that's 63,206 characters.
In other words, their max is 451.5 times higher than Twitter's.
The previous max on Facebook was 5,000 characters, which they established in September. Before then, you could only post 500 characters.
The 63,206 characters basically means you'll NEVER hit the limit. To compare, a full-length novel is about 500,000 characters...which means it would only take you eight Facebook posts to put up an entire novel.
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